by Jessica Wolf
“What?” He stepped forward. She stepped back. “Luciana, I don’t understand.”
She blinked rapidly in an effort to ward off her tears. “I don’t expect you to.” She pressed a hand against her stomach. “I think I may be sick,” she breathed, latching her hand onto the arm of the nearest chair. Dots swam before her eyes.
He touched her shoulder and she broke. The dam would hold the water no more and her tears ran freely down her face. He attempted to gather her into his arms, but she pushed against the strong wall of his chest, tearing herself away.
“No!” she cried. “I can’t. I can’t.”
“You can’t what? You can’t forgive me?”
She turned her eyes to him, refusing to acknowledge the concern that played across his face. “I can’t stay here.”
“Why not? I thought you said you loved me?”
She held her hand against her mouth to muffle her sob. “I do. Mon Dio, I do love you.” She shook her head and stepped toward the door. “But I can’t be with you like this.”
Reed lunged forward and grabbed her shoulders in his hands again. When he spoke, panic filled every word. He had unraveled so quickly from the normally calm and collected Reed it frightened her.
“What is it? Is it Esther?” She shook her head. “Jack? Aliana? Why can’t you be with me? I’ve made an ass out of myself I know, but—” He smoothed his hand against her hair. His eyes turned watery as he blinked. “I told myself I would be fine without you. But having you here again, I know that’s not true. No amount of apologizing will make up for what I did, but I love you.”
His final words so perfectly mirrored her own from the day he’d sent her away it made Luciana stop for a moment. She stared into his eyes. His steely gaze filled with love and hope and worry all at the same time. She could spend a lifetime looking into those eyes. She happily would. And he was offering her that lifetime.
Did she really want to give him up again because of her devotion to Sam and the store?
She straightened her shoulders and wiped the tears from her cheeks. Reed returned to his full height, eyebrows raised in anticipation. Gently, she took his hand in hers and kissed his knuckles.
“And I love you,” she said, her voice cracking, “but I can’t be with you. And I can’t expect you to understand that.”
Reed’s jaw clenched. He looked away, his lips set in a tight line. “That’s your choice then.”
“Si, it is.” She gave his hand one final squeeze before dropping it. “I’ll go sit with Esther now.”
“You don’t have to—”
She held up her hand, already moving toward the door. “I promised.”
“And you keep your promises?”
“Every time.”
“Then promise me this: Think about it. Whatever it is that’s holding you back, think about what it’s costing us.”
Luciana’s throat tightened and she sniffed, gripping the doorknob. She shouldn’t promise. She shouldn’t promise. It could lead her giving it all up and ruining what she had built. Leaving Sam and wondering what—
“I promise.”
Oh, she was damned.
Chapter 32
Within the next two days Esther showed clear signs of returning to health. Her appetite returned and the number of violent coughing fits she experienced each day slowly diminished. Reed couldn’t be more relieved. The doctor said that, while pneumonia killed children and the elderly most often, he often found that children fought the hardest against it, too.
And, my, how Esther had fought.
“It will be a week or so before she returns to her full health,” the doctor assured Reed when he was shown to the door. “Don’t force her to do things she’s not ready to do yet.”
Reed pumped the doctor’s arm up and down, causing the poor man to wince in pain. “No, of course not. I wouldn’t dream of it, sir. Thank you for your help.”
The doctor turned around before Reed could shut the door and return to Esther’s bedside. “And my bill?”
“Call my office in London.”
“But I—”
“Call my office, sir. Thank you again!” He shut the door and turned on his heel, rushing across the floor. When he stopped short at the base of the stairs, his shoes skidded across the marble.
Luciana would want to know what the doctor had said. Only he wasn’t thrilled about the prospect of telling her. Even though she deserved to know and she would find out one way or the other, her rejection still stung. She hadn’t even given him a clear reason for her refusal. Not that he had proposed anything. He had merely set his heart at her feet to have it stomped upon.
He let the matter go for the time being. She promised she would think about her decision and he could always hope she would change her mind. He couldn’t imagine himself falling for anyone else, though, if she did choose to leave. Falling for her had happened by mistake, but now that he had, it was clear there was no one else for him but her. They fit each other well, she with her brazen and unrefined ways and he with his too-practical mind. Her sharp wit challenged him to step out of his comfort zone and he liked to think his generosity and friendship had made her feel at ease in a brand new country.
All he could do now was hope she accepted his heart.
He turned toward the conservatory. When he reached the door, he rapped on the glass panes twice. The humming from within stopped and he heard the padding of bare feet as they crossed the floor. When she came around the corner and saw it was him, the contented smile flew from her face and was replaced with a look of worry. She opened the door and motioned him inside.
Reed stepped into the humid room and almost regretted recommissioning the repair of the space. After Luciana left, he thought about demolishing the whole wing. The only person who used it was Esther, who tried in vain to finish the monumental project on her own. It was her determination that caused Reed to drop the pretty penny on getting the place fixed and thriving again. He shrugged off his jacket, draped it over the back of a nearby chair, and rolled up his sleeves.
“It’s...pleasant in here,” he said, sticking his fingers in his pockets.
Luciana smiled and looked around the room. Her eyes softened. “It’s beautiful. When did you have it repaired?”
He dragged his hand through a box of indoor grasses. “A while ago.”
“Oh.” She picked up a pair of small clippers and turned her back, returning to her work.
He rubbed his hand across his jaw, unsure of what to say. He wanted to ask her if she had considered anything more, but he didn’t want to push her into declining him for good. God, women were confusing. He was never able to grasp Katherine’s way of doing things. Luciana was no less confounding. If anything, she was more so.
“I have some good news,” he said.
Luciana looked over her shoulder, eyebrow raised. “What is it?”
“The doctor said Esther is officially on the mend.”
She set the clippers down and spun to face him. “Really?”
He nodded and felt a smile spread his lips. “She will be out of bed within a week.”
Luciana laughed and covered her mouth. Her eyes sparkled with tears and before he could say anything more she threw her arms around his neck. Her toes brushed against the floor when Reed wrapped his arms around her back and lifted her from the ground. He buried his face in the crook of her neck, concealing his grin. As she laughed, her chest shook against his own. A warm feeling crept up the back of his neck and he set her down before he might do anything untoward.
She wiped a tear from her cheek. “That is wonderful news.” She nudged his arm with her hand. “I told you she would get better.”
Reed rubbed the back of his neck. “I know. You did.”
She sighed and faced the row of plants before her; he mirrored her movements. “I was worried for a while.”
“Me, too.” He shook his head and braced his hands on the box before him. “I don’t know what I would have done had she..
.”
Luciana looked sidelong at him. They stood close enough for their shoulders to touch. He could smell the lavender on her skin and see a bead of sweat roll down her neck. When his eyes moved to her mouth, he stopped. It was smiling—a soft, sweet smile. His eyes flicked to hers.
“I’m so relieved for you, Reed,” she whispered.
Was she leaning in? He couldn’t tell.
He swallowed hard, his eyes returning to her lips. “Mhm,” was all he could manage when his throat felt like it was filled with cotton.
And then she was kissing him. It was unlike their first kiss in that Luciana was no longer gentle nor was the kiss chaste. He felt like he could drown in the feel of her lips, but he didn’t mind. If he were to die in any way, he would prefer to die pressed against the woman he loved. When she pulled away, both parties gasped for breath.
Reed kept his hand on the back of her head, smirking. “Does this mean you’ve reconsidered?”
She tossed her head back and laughed. “No,” she said between breaths, “I haven’t.”
He drew his hand away and frowned. Then why the hell had she kissed him? She took his hand and gave him the same irritating, sweet smile that made his heart crumble. He was a weak, weak man when it came to her, dear gracious.
“I did think about it,” she said. “I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone—even though you can be a prideful ass. But I have a job, and even if it is...silly, I’m proud of the work I do. I can’t leave Sam either, not with his eyes failing. Reed, I can’t be with you not because I don’t love you or because I haven’t forgiven you. I have forgiven you twenty times over. I can’t be with you because I can’t bear the thought of giving up the life I’m making for myself.”
He scoffed. “Is that the true reason?”
She nodded, her chin set firm. “Si, signore.”
Clutching his hand against his chest, Reed let go of a deep breath. “Oh thank God.”
Her brow turned down in a sharp frown. “Excuse me?”
Taking her shoulders into his hands, he stooped to put them at eye level. “Did you honestly think I would take you away from something you love? Luciana, I want you to pursue your dreams. True English gentlemen would balk at the idea of their wife spending her days in a dress shop as an attendant. I am not a true English gentlemen. For God’s sake, look at my hair!”
She bit back a smile. “It is a little unruly.”
“All you had to do was tell me.”
A pretty blush covered her cheeks, but she kept her chin set hard. “I thought you wouldn’t want me to work.”
He shrugged. “I honestly don’t give a damn whether or not you work. Just as long as you stay. Tell me you’ll stay. Be my wife, Luciana.”
She sucked in a sharp breath and bit her lower lip. He, too, felt like gasping. He hadn’t meant to propose. He had thought about it, but he hadn’t meant to actually go and do it. He did want to marry her. One day, at least. He wanted to spend the rest of his life getting to know her and appreciate her for all that she was worth.
“Can I—” She licked her lips. “Can I think about it?”
Did the thinking ever end with this woman? Most of the decisions Reed made were spur of the moment. Still, he chuckled.
“Of course.”
She offered him a reassuring smile. “I think I’ll go upstairs and see Esther and then go visit Sam. He probably thinks I’ve fallen off the world.” She stood on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek. “I’ll give you my answer tomorrow.”
“I’ll be waiting.”
She backed away, a bright smile permanently ingrained on her face. He took that as a good sign. When she slipped through the door and disappeared around the corner, he let out a bark of laughter.
Jack would be livid when he found out. He would never trust Reed again, and somehow, he didn’t care.
Chapter 33
Luciana pushed open the door to Sam’s Dresses, breathing in the familiar scent of apples and freshly washed cloth. Her heart was bursting. She couldn’t keep the smile from her face as she walked toward the back.
She was in love. She was so in love. She wanted to scream it from the rooftops.
She should have told Reed her reservations in the first place. It would have saved her two nights of endless agony. And now Esther was on the mend, too. The day couldn’t get any better.
“Miss?”
She turned at the voice of a customer. “Si?”
“Don’t you work here? I think I’ve seen you before.”
Luciana nodded. “I do.”
“Could you cut this for me?”
“I will in a moment. I need to speak with my employer first.”
The woman backed away. “I’ll be waiting.”
“I’ll be waiting,” Reed had said. She broke out into another grin and hurried into the back room lest she keep the customer waiting too long.
Sam stood where he always stood: behind one of the worktables. He had his face shoved against his project, slowly pulling a needle in and out of a dress hem. He didn’t hear Luciana the first two times she cleared her throat.
“Sam!”
He dropped his needle, shrieking. When he saw her, he cursed, stamping his foot against the floor. “Don’t ever do that to me again, girl! I could have died.” He reached for his stool and lowered himself onto the chair.
Luciana walked into the room and leaned against the worktable. “You didn’t seem to notice me the first time.”
“Bah. I notice everythin’. I was just choosin’ to ignore you.”
Her eyes widened. “And why is that?”
“Cause you’ve up and left me!” He threw his hand to the sky before dropping them back to his legs. “Two and a half weeks you’ve been at that house and not a word from you.”
“I’m sorry. I was preoccupied.” He rolled his eyes. “A little girl almost died, Sam.”
“I almost died.”
“You’re dramatic.”
“I’m old. That’s what happens when you get old.”
“Do you want to know why I’m here now or do you want me to go?” She jerked her thumb toward the door.
“I want you to kiss my cheek and then tell me why you’ve made a reappearance.” Dutifully, Luciana kissed his cheek and crouched beside his stool. He put his palms flat on his thighs and stared at her intently. “Now you can tell me.”
“Reed proposed this afternoon.” Her heart fluttered again.
“He did what?”
“He asked me to marry him.”
“I thought you hated him.”
She shoved his arm. “I never said that.”
“Your eyes did.”
“You’re almost blind, Sam!”
He crossed his arms. “What did you tell him?”
“I told him that I would give him an answer tomorrow. I wanted to talk to you first.”
Sam pulled a face and touched his chest. “Little old me?”
She nodded. “Little old you.”
“Why would you want to talk to me?”
“I want to know what you think of him.”
“I think he’s a good-for-nothing dolt.”
“Now you’re just being difficult.”
“He broke your heart in two, didn’t he?” She paused before nodding. “What happened to that whole episode, eh?”
“He told me he was wrong, that he had let his tendency to assume things get in the way, and he asked me to forgive him.”
“Do you believe he’s tellin’ the truth?”
“Si, with all my heart.”
Sam narrowed his deep set eyes. “So why are you asking me what I thought of him?”
Luciana shrugged. “You’re the closest thing I have to father, I suppose. My own father drowned and left me to die.” She scoffed, shaking her head. “That’s beside the point, though. I want to know if you think marrying him would be wise.”
Sam leaned forward on his stool, turning his eyes toward the door. He thought for a long moment
and then looked back at her. “When he walked in that door, you and I both thought that he was angry with you. A normal man would shout or say something rude to boost his wounded ego. Instead, he asked about my dog and complemented my shop. He even chose to ignore you asking if his daughter hated you.”
“Were you listening the whole time?” she interrupted, mouth open in shock.
He held up his hands. “Somebody had to be on standby in case it all went to the pits. I was ready with my broom.” He laughed. “What I’m trying to say is, Reed is a man unlike normal men. He’s got one hell of a pride, but he knows when to put his issues to the side and look to more important things. So I think you’d do well by marryin’ him, yes.”
Luciana squeezed Sam’s arm as relief flooded her lungs. “Grazie. And,” she continued, “as long as you’ll still have me, I want to continue working here and learning from you.”
Sam considered this, his lips pursed. “You can continue on as long as you bring me a doughnut every Tuesday morning.”
Grinning, Luciana extended her hand to him. “You’ve got yourself a deal, signore.”
Late that next morning, Luciana headed for Yellow Brook. The air was warm despite the month being November. A gentle breeze lifted over her every once in a while, filling her nose with the scent of the sea. When the Charity sank all those months ago, she never would have imagined herself still here. She would have been in Italy had her aunts not been dead. And she never would have found Sam without Aliana Martin. Yes, like her mother had always said, for everything there was a reason.
She walked leisurely, admiring the scenery and the people passing by. She would always receive stares, she knew. The women of Eastbourne were so unlike her with their styled hair, clinging dresses, and white skin. She was happy with her long hair and comfortable dresses and tan skin. Those things made her who she was. Italian to boot and in love with an Englishman.
When she awoke that morning, she had expected to be filled with nerves. She was, after all, about to be engaged. Her stomach and her heart were at ease, though. Maybe that was because they knew it was all going to be fine, there was nothing for her to fear. She would have the best of both worlds: her love and her work.