I turned around to walk away, and slowly took the steps to leave him be. I just kept walking, but the entire time the scene that just occurred played over and over again. I finally came to a stop in the middle of the hall, unable to move further as I wondered if he was still there.
Still sitting in that spot, weeping like he'd lost someone dear to him. Was that what it looked like to lose yourself in your own demise? To realize all the wrong you've done, but acknowledge that there was nothing you could do to stop it?
I knew everyone had the capability to forgive someone, but could they ever forget? I'd never be able to forget what he’d done to me. The fear it invoked. The nights where I shivered until Rainer's arms wrapped around me in comfort, and the anxiety that plagued me at the thought of being near him.
It was just another reminder that he didn't deserve my pity. He shouldn't be given a second chance. So many others don't get the privilege of another chance. They were more than worthy, deserving, and kinder than Xavier, but they were cut off from such opportunities.
Why should I give him a chance?
My mind wished for my legs to move, but they suddenly gave out, which had me shrieking and falling to the ground. I looked at them with menace before I tried to push some of my magic to my lower limbs like I was taught but it was no use.
"Seriously?" I huffed in pure annoyance and suddenly wondered how the hell was I going to get out of here.
The sudden approaching footsteps left me rigid, and I didn't dare look behind me even though I knew the sound was getting louder and closer from that direction.
When a pair of white shoes reached my vision, I had no choice but to look up to see Xavier. His face was masked like always, the tear stains and even red eyes completely gone. I scanned his body slowly, attempting to seem as if I were trying to determine if he was real when I wanted to check on his bloody hand.
It was still bloody, but the wound itself seemed to be healed just a bit - enough for it to not bleed.
"What are you doing here?" he coldly questioned. "You're in my way."
"There's plenty of space in the hall, Xavier," I bitterly commented back. "I'm just going to chill here, that's all. It's going to rain."
"Says who?" he asked.
"Uh..." I trailed off and mentally begged that it would actually rain. The sudden sound of thunder made my eyes widen and look to the side to see a glimpse of the dark clouds rolling in.
Oh shit. Did I do that? But I can't control these lands. It had to be an error of judgment.
Xavier had followed my gaze to see the clouds rolling in, but he turned his eyes back to me and grumbled, "Where were you going?"
"You can't go there," I huffed. "Only royal individuals with permission can go."
"The rehab center," he concluded, which made me frown while he rolled his eyes - again - while he seemed to be intrigued by my legs.
"Are you recovered?"
"Not your business," I dryly commented. All he did was nod before he suddenly scooped me up. "H-Hey! I didn't give you permission to carry-"
"For once in my life, can I just do something right?"
His words were actually quiet, so softly spoken that I could have easily missed them. I looked right up into his eyes, but he looked forward as he turned around and headed to the path.
"Why are you helping me?"
He didn't answer.
"If you think this is going to make you feel better, it won't. I never asked to be helped."
Again. He said nothing.
"You helping me won't change a thing."
"Two wrongs don't make a right," he muttered. "Now can you shut up?"
"No."
He groaned and stopped momentarily, but then he looked up and noticed how dark the clouds were. "Hmph. You're lucky."
He kept walking, leaving me to decipher his comment to whatever he was trying to imply until we reached the back entrance of the medical rehab center.
"How did you know how to get to this part?"
"This place isn't solely for Rainer's family. They aid royals from the light kingdom as well," he commented and lowered me onto the bench that was next to the door.
Turning around, he began to walk away.
"Wait! Where are you going?"
"Home?" He stopped just to give me a look of pure irritation. "What else do you want? I'm not in the mood to deal with children."
"This child can kick your damn ass," I commented. "Hmph. You’ve probably never dealt with children and never will."
He didn't say anything, but his gaze lowered to his feet as he mumbled, "You're right. I'd be lucky enough to marry, let alone have kids. So true. I'll never deal with kids. At least real ones and not immature brats like you."
"Don't insult me!" I huffed.
"I'm leaving."
"Why would you think you'll never marry?" I suddenly asked, which made him stop again. Lighting coursed through the sky as thunder boomed the next second.
Xavier just stood there, until he finally grumbled, "I'll be lucky to live long enough to find someone who'd love someone like me."
I paused in my attempt to counter his statement, those words tugging at my heart like it had to see him cry.
"Xavier?" I mumbled hesitantly. "Are you okay?"
"Just fine," he quietly replied. "Go be with the man that can actually cherish you."
That's all he said as he began to walk away, just as the rain began to fall.
"Xavier..." My voice was but a squeak as I watched him walk away, the rain beating him hard and drenching his entire body.
Seeing him from afar, he didn’t look like the man I despised for making my life a living hell.
Instead, I was left feeling sorrow for him, for he'd done a good deed and I was unable to gather the guts to thank him. To show gratitude to a man that hurt, belittled, and wounded me.
I should have just gotten up and headed inside, but I sat right there - my eyes watching his image fade in the distances.
Deep down, I hoped that he'd recover from what I'd witnessed earlier, but one thing worried me the most.
Why does it feel as though this is the last time I'll see him?
Wilting Imposter
"Rainer," I groaned against his lips. "We have an exam."
"And I missed you, so hush."
I actually laughed before hugging him tighter. "How does it feel to be out of bed?"
"A fucking miracle," he growled. "I swear if I had to lie down for another twenty-four hours, I'd cry."
"That's overexaggerating," I commented. "You wouldn't cry."
"True, but I'd complain about it the whole time," he huffed.
I leaned back to look at the new glasses he had to wear. "Why do you have to wear glasses though?"
"The doctor explained that my magic isn't at an optimal level to reach my eyes. If they do, it may fizzle out. You know how magic flows to our eyes and fingertips when we cast spells? The glasses will aid in being the extra push for the magic to flow outward versus fizzling and causing damage to my retinas," he explained. "It's only temporary. If I'm good, I'll be able to take them off. They make me feel odd as hell."
"They make you look like a sexy professor," I commented.
"Does that mean you'd let me have my way with you before this exam?"
"No," I snickered. "Nice try, though."
"Ugh," he huffed and hugged me again.
"Are you that horny?"
"We went from doing it a lot to nothing for a good eight months. I'm depleted! Why aren’t sexual needs a part of the health care plan?!"
"Uh, because you'd have to receive that from a nurse, silly."
"Well, they could have put the option for wives to fulfill their husband's needs."
"So I'm your wife, huh?" I teased and pulled back in time to see his blushing cheeks.
"I didn't say that!"
"Sure, sure."
"It was the-"
"The drugs. Yes, yes. The drugs always make you say romantic things."
"What?" he asked, giving me his full attention. I lifted my hand to show him my hand, the ring that I'd been keeping hidden beginning to reveal itself until the gold jewelry was fully opaque.
His eyes widened before he looked at me.
"W-W-Where did you get that?"
"It appeared on my finger when you did the forbidden Soul Strike thing and summoned my father from the dead to protect me," I explained. "It was connected to my pendulum and seems to do exactly that whenever I activate my pendulum magically. I asked Seraphine but she said I should ask you, and before you ask why I didn't tell you earlier, I didn't want to burden you while you were recovering."
He seemed nervous as he looked away from my questioning gaze. I reached up to grasp his chin, moving his head so he had no choice but to look into my eyes. His whole face was flushed.
"Was this supposed to be a promise ring or something?"
"It's an engagement ring," he revealed, his face even redder before he turned right around. "I got it custom made. There's a strong fae blacksmith who creates jewelry and caters to royals with intense magic capabilities. However, he's booked for a good few years. He only had an opening a little after New Year's last year so he asked me what I wanted, and I needed a magical item that was connected to you. That was when you’d just gotten the pendulum, so I borrowed it so he could infuse some of its magic into the ring. He crafted it with that and my magic so that if there came a time I wasn't around, you'd be able to use my dark magic like most bonded couples can do."
He took a steady breath and turned around to face me once more.
"You're really powerful, Rosadette. I know you don't really see it yet, especially since this year has kind of been a failure in the learning department because of my risky move, but I knew you'd be more independent in this relationship. You don't need a knight to come to save you. You especially don't need me to come to your aid when you're in trouble. You can protect yourself, and I want you to continue having that source of power while still having my support magically. I wanted to propose...but I was hoping to do something first."
He looked to the floor as he twiddled his thumbs. "I haven't gotten to do that yet, so...I guess the ring decided you needed it more than ever back at the exhibit incident so I can't really blame it for being summoned to protect you. Without it as a sort of channel of energy, I probably would have died since I didn't do that spell correctly. I didn't think when triggering it, but I don't regret trying to protect you either."
He looked up to stare into my eyes.
"You're my light in the darkness, and I'd sacrifice myself in a heartbeat if it meant you're alive and safe."
"Silly," I whispered, reaching up to hook my arms around his neck as tears fell down my cheeks. "I need you in my life, too. Or who's going to be the light at the end of the tunnel when I'm lost in the darkness?"
He smiled slightly, blinking back his own tears before he pulled me into a tight embrace.
"Can I keep the ring?"
"It was always meant for you."
"But does that mean you need to get another? I don't want you to spend time and money on a new one."
"Do you like this one?"
"Very much," I whispered.
"Don't you want something that sparkles with diamonds?"
"Nope. I'm fine with this."
"Then I don't have to get a new one," he assured me. "Though...are you okay with waiting a little longer?”
"I'm fine with waiting for as long as we need to," I assured him and leaned back to look into his eyes. "Aren't your parents going to think we're too young to marry?"
He laughed. "No. Fae who find their roses get married rather young. There's not much of a delay seeing as they're going to spend centuries together."
"I forget that your parents are probably centuries old," I quietly reasoned.
"Yup. They're old, old, old. I try not to think about it or it gives me a headache," he reasoned and claimed my lips.
"What was that for?"
"I haven't been able to thank you."
"For?"
"Taking care of me when you could for the last eight months. You had to deal with your own recovery, and yet you'd still walk in crutches to come to see me, before recovering and staying with me whenever you could. You also did the midterm exam when you didn't have to. I just want you to know I appreciate the sacrifices you made for me and it just proves how much you deserve to be loved."
Deserve to be loved.
The words reminded me of Xavier's walking image as the rain pounded against his body. It was a brief thought, but I actually wondered if he’d been okay since then.
"You know I'd do it all over again if it means I get to be in your arms," I voiced with affection.
"I know." He inched closer until our lips brushed. "I'd do the same for you, Sweet Rose."
We kissed long and hard, our movement going from slow to urgent. I'd missed kissing him. Enjoying the heat of his body against mine and moving to the tune of our combined pleasure.
The door slammed open and we broke the kiss to see Vixen stomping into the room.
One look at her told me she was mad, mad.
"Where's that cold ass-of-a-prince!" she demanded. "I swear. If he skips on today's session, I'll use the damn fae army to find his ass before proceeding to shove a stick up it!"
Rainer and I blinked back at her in pure confusion before she looked our way. From her professional outfit of white and gold with her lab coat, I could only assume she was working.
"Sis," Rainer groaned. "Can you not barge into people's rooms when they're trying to enjoy a moment of sex?"
"Rainer!" I slapped his chest, but he didn't even care as he looked at Vixen, who gave him the 'I don't care' look.
"I have more important things to do!" she stressed and looked at me. "Oh. Rosadette. I borrowed your golden rose brooch thingy. You left it in Rainer's recovery room."
It took her mentioning it for me to realize she was wearing it in combination with her dress.
"I completely forgot about it," I commented. "You can totally borrow it. Not like I need it. We have to go check in for our exam."
"Why are you here, Vixen?" Rainer questioned, clearly annoyed that she'd ruined our 'moment'.
"I'm trying to find Xavier," she announced and crossed her arms over her chest. "He's canceled every appointment we've had since midterms. He could have easily just called it quits, but no. Every day I go in and he's 'unavailable'. I talked to King Rose and he doesn't want me to quit simply because Xavier's being stubborn."
I frowned at her words, remembering that the last time I saw him was during the exams.
"But someone has seen him, right?" I inquired.
Vixen looked our way and shook her head. "No one has seen him. He's basically locked himself in his room or some nonsense. It may have been my fault, but I didn't think he’d simply isolate himself from the world. He has to take his exams, but I can't find him. It's like he put a spell on to make it so no one can locate him. Alicia's actually worried for his safety, and King Rose is giving me today to find where he is, or he's going to get the guards to break into his room. He doesn't want to invade Xavier's privacy since he's an adult and he's probably dealing with depression or something, but this is getting worrisome. Xavier's an ass, yes, but he's not the type to suffer...well, alone."
"What happened to make him suddenly emo?" Rainer questioned, looking genuinely concerned. "I know you two got in a fight."
Vixen let out a long sigh.
"Xavier is such a complicated individual. It's like he's a Rubik’s cube that keeps on changing and you're not given enough time to solve it.” She looked at me hesitantly before she whispered, "He's been trying to apologize to you. I mean genuinely apologize for being an ass. No one has ever really taken the time to try and understand him. He pushes people away on purpose. It's an effort not only to p
rotect those he cares about from himself but whatever he believes will bring harm to those who are important in our kingdoms."
"He's been an ass for years though," Rainer commented.
"You're right," Vixen acknowledged. "However..." She bit her lip in worry. "I'm not supposed to share this, but I think there's a third party involved."
"Third party?" Rainer arched an eyebrow while he kept an arm around my waist to keep me by his side. "Are you going to try to say someone is controlling him, forcing him to be that way?"
"Yes and no," Vix replied before she began to pace. "Hear me out, cause it's one of my theories I'm still working on and haven't brought up with his parents."
She paused in her pacing to watch us nod in agreement before she carried on.
"When I was first assigned to Xavier, the one thing that stood out to me from the report regarding the incident in the training room was his statement about freezing the Queen of Rosadette. That didn't make much sense to me because he wasn't alive all those years ago to commit such a deed," she elaborated. "However, there are times when Xavier shows kindness in his eyes. It's there, present, and wishes to project itself into an action, but it's as if something is triggered in his brain to do the opposite. Throughout the year, we’ve done brain scans, magical scans, I even tried to analyze his sleeping pattern during a sleep study, but I can't find a solid problem within his brain."
"You're trying to say it's not a mental problem," Rainer confirmed.
"It can't be. Everything is normal physically. His IQ is high, and the way he perceives things is well structured. Literally, it makes no sense that he wants to act one way but does the other. If he's doing it to protect himself, why? What is he protecting himself and those he cares about from?"
"Maybe he's having hallucinations or something?" I reasoned.
Vixen shook her head. "No hallucinations, no delusions, but there's one main problem I've discovered."
"What?" we asked.
"Xavier's been hearing voices since he was a child," she revealed. "I'm not sure if it's multiple voices or a single commanding voice, but it's something he's seemed to keep a secret until he blurted it out a few weeks ago to me. I didn't really understand it because every test result has proven he's mentally well. There's no internal problem."
Fae Rose Academy: Year Two (For The Purely Divine Book 2) Page 24