His Eyes

by Renee Carter

  There was only one person who could ruin my mood. So, of course, she walked in through the back door. The Creature wore her bikini, with her towel thrown over her shoulder. Bored, she surveyed us and yawned. “I’m going to go shower and then have some pizza, unless there’s something else to eat.”

  If spontaneous human combustion could be caused by three sets of glaring eyes, she would’ve been a pile of dust.

  I asked slowly, “You didn’t hear anything earlier...did you?”

  “No.” The Creature blinked dumbly. “Did someone call for me? Was it Mick?”

  Chris snarled, “No, you—”

  “—should go shower,” I interjected before he could say something that could get him in trouble.

  “Lexus!” Mrs. Edmund smiled brightly. “Are you enjoying the lake?”

  The Creature tossed her hair. “I guess. I just wish Tristan wouldn’t make such scenes!” Hearing this, I couldn’t help but laugh. “He’s been telling people we’re not dating!”

  Mrs. Edmund frowned slightly. “But, dear, I thought you’d make amends.”

  “‘Amends’?” she scoffed.

  “When my husband, uh....” Mrs. Edmund choked, unable to get the word out. “Y-you never called or wrote. I mean, I know you were busy—”

  The Creature grinned arrogantly. “Yes! I was busy! And now I’m all sweaty; I have to shower.”

  We all silently seethed until she was out of sight. Then Chris, an impish look on his face, turned to me. “Hey, Amy. I brought Battleship. We could play and pretend she’s onboard.”

  I shook my head. “Twisted, kid. I like it. Let’s play.”

  * * *

  I’d never played so much Battleship in my life. For almost an hour, Chris and I duked it out, with him making a falsetto scream each time a ship went down—on either side. It was pretty hilarious. Then we got the idea of having a tournament, with Chris and me on one team, Marly and Mrs. Edmund on another. Sometime in the midst of our playing, The Creature had come down and pulled a slice of thin crust pizza from the refrigerator. She didn’t ask to play and we didn’t offer.

  Around sunset, our stomachs began to rumble and we decided to call a tie, though Chris and I knew we had actually won. We went through the cupboards, checking out the groceries that they had brought, and chose to make grilled cheeses and tomato soup. Mrs. Edmund heated up a fry pan, while I opened up the can. Chris pointed as I poured it into a pan. “That’s red for blood!”

  “Christopher John!” Mrs. Edmund gasped, clapping her hands over Marly’s ears.

  He frowned. “What? Battleship, Mom—things blow up.”

  His mother shook her head. “I wish you wouldn’t think about things like that.”

  “But, people die and...it’s okay,” he said quietly.

  “Chris, come here.” She knelt down and held out her arms to him. Once he had come close, she explained, “Dear, we never want people to die, but sometimes they do. And we have to be brave, to move on.” She hugged her children tightly. “You’ve both been so very, very brave!”

  I bent over the stove, concentrating on my sandwich flipping and soup stirring, trying to give the Edmunds a moment of privacy. I was so intent on staying quiet that I jumped when the phone began to ring. I turned around, wondering if I should answer, when I heard The Creature pounding down the stairs. She dashed across the room and snatched the phone off of the wall.

  “Hello? Mick?” She paused, clearly disappointed. “Who is this? Who?” She paused. “Oh, last summer, right... A party? Of course!” She paused. “All right. ‘Bye.”

  “Going out?” I asked.

  “Yes. As soon as I find Tristan.”

  Chris shot me a look and said, “You know, I think I saw him out front. Why don’t you go look?”

  “Really?” The Creature frowned, turning toward the door.

  “Yeah. Here, I’ll show you.”

  Leaning close to his ear, I whispered, “What are you doing?”

  “Distracting her so you can go talk to him,” he hissed and rushed after The Creature, who was already opening the front door. “He was out here!”

  I rolled my eyes and looked at the two Edmunds who were now watching me. “You don’t think I should talk to him, do you?”

  They nodded in unison.

  “Fine. But he probably wants to be alone.” I threw my hands up in the air, splattering soup with my spoon. I grimaced, setting it on the counter, and headed out the back door.

  The air was cool and carried the faint scent of pine and freshwater. The sun had already dipped behind the treetops, but the sky was a breathtaking mixture of oranges and deep blues. There was something mystical in the calm of the lake at dusk, as it peacefully mirrored the world around it without a ripple of distortion. The only sounds were the chirps of crickets and the gentle rustle of branches in the breeze.

  Tristan was a dark silhouette at the end of the dock. His shoulders were slumped and his legs hung over the edge. As I walked closer to him, my mind swirled with emotions. I paused a step behind him and tucked my hair behind my ears, before sitting next to him. My voice was quiet, as to not disturb the twilight. “Hey.”

  He ran his fingers along the rough edges of the planks, but didn’t respond.

  “She was looking for you. I guess there’s another party.” Shrugging, I allowed the silence to stretch between us.

  “She could have died.”

  I frowned, confused. “Marly? But, you saved her.”

  “If you hadn’t been there....” Tristan shook his head and his fingers tightened around the edge of the dock. “I would have lost her.”

  “Tristan...” I instinctively placed my hand over the top of his. Clearing my throat, I began again, “Tristan, what matters is that you did save her. You know, she made you a medal. It’s inside.”

  He gave a short laugh and I began to get up, thinking he was ready to go back, but he spoke suddenly. “This summer, he would have taught her how to swim.”

  I dipped my head, my hair coming loose from behind my ears, and watched his face. “Your father?”

  “Yeah,” Tristan said wistfully. “He taught us here, Chris and me.”

  “Maybe you can teach Marly?”

  He said sarcastically, “Right, because I can really do that.”

  Frustrated, I sighed. “Tristan.”

  “He wasn’t supposed to die!” he yelled vehemently.

  “What?” I gasped, surprised by his outburst.

  “It was an aneurysm. He was just—gone. He and I hadn’t gotten along so well in the last few years. He said I was messing up my life, with the parties and the girls. He was right. It was all a waste.” Tristan shuddered, as if chilled by the memory. “At least he’ll never see me like this.”

  I saw the tears begin streaming down his face from behind his glasses and I felt like my heart was in a vice. I hesitated and then wrapped my arms around him, pulling him close. My whole body was electrified, my senses overwhelmed with cinnamon and sandalwood. When his head pressed against my shoulder, his glasses came free and clattered onto the dock.

  I whispered, “Do you remember Charlie, my brother? He said horrible things to my dad and then left for ten years. Charlie never even told him that he’d gotten married. And you know what? My dad never stopped loving him. Not for one minute. I’m sure your dad was the same way. And, being blind...that doesn’t change who you are.”

  Tristan’s voice was rough, as he asked, “Do you really believe that?”

  Tears were pricking at the back of my eyes while I squeezed him tightly; I was desperate for him to believe me. “Yes!”

  “Amy, how can you—”

  “Tristan!”

  I felt his muscles tense at the sound of The Creature’s voice slicing through the air. My arms slid from around Tristan as he sat up straight. He wiped the back of his hand quickly across his eyes and snatched up his sunglasses from where they had fallen. He called, “What?”

  “Joseph is having some people ove
r! He wants us to come!”

  Don’t. Just don’t! My entire being was screaming at him to stay, but my tongue was paralyzed. I knew that he was going to go along with her, even if he wasn’t “dating” her. My stomach grew nauseous when he climbed to his feet. He held out his hand to me, like he expected me to be ready to go along. Not this time. He turned his head toward me and asked, “Amy?”

  Somehow, I found my tongue. “I’m not going.”

  “Why?”

  “I’m tired,” I lied and crossed my arms over my chest.

  Tristan brushed his fingers through his hair and I wondered if he could really be puzzled by my refusal. “But we—”

  Oh no. Being a third wheel was not part of my job. I stood up and said harshly, “I’m going inside.”

  I took a step toward the stairs, when I heard Tristan say, “Amy, can you...?” He was again holding out his hand, this time with an imploring look on his face. I glanced up at the cabin, confirming what he’d probably already guessed: The Creature had gone inside, leaving me as his only hope of getting safely inside. I stepped back, took his hand and placed it on my arm.

  As we took the first stair, he said, “Is it because of Lexus?”

  I was startled by his question. It took me two stairs before I grumbled, “I don’t think this is the time, Tristan.”

  He turned his head toward me intently. “Amy, just tell me. Please.”

  With that, I couldn’t hide the truth any longer and I didn’t want to. “Tell you?! Fine, I’ll tell you: she’s only here because she couldn’t think of anything better to do! Oh, and because her agent told her to stay. She wants the cover of People, not you! And I thought you’d figure it out, but you didn’t.”

  “I figured she—” Tristan shook his head and said darkly, “I should’ve known.”

  I nodded, but didn’t say a word while I pulled open the back door. Tristan stepped in front of me and, in the light of the cabin, I could see how red his face was. Without any hesitation, he yelled, “Lexus!”

  “What?” The Creature was standing in the living room and checking her lipstick in a compact mirror. She didn’t recognize the anger in his voice until she shut the mirror and looked at him. Her eyes went wide and she frowned at me, as if I was the cause. She asked tentatively, “Trist...?”

  He took several steps toward her and growled, “Lexus, I tried to pretend that everything was fine, that nothing changed between us, but it has. I’m not the same person I was and now I know who you are. I want you to leave.”

  The Edmunds were in the kitchen, their dinner half eaten. They were all surprised by the sudden outburst, but the Marly quickly covered Chris’s mouth to muffle his cheer. Mrs. Edmund looked the most flustered and her mouth hung open while she debated whether or not to interject.

  The Creature, meanwhile, fluttered her eyelashes and held her hands out. She whimpered, “Tristan.”

  “Don’t even pretend that you care!” he snapped. “The only person you’ve ever cared for is yourself. I’m through!”

  She bit her lip, pouting, “But—”

  “Where were you, when my father died?” Tristan demanded.

  At this, The Creature had the nerve to flip her hair. “I was in Paris. You know that.”

  “You never even returned my calls!”

  “I was busy!” She glanced into the kitchen, finding her alibi. “Your mother understands.”

  Mrs. Edmund gasped, not expecting such a brutal stab in the back. Hearing the noise, Tristan reeled on her to release more of his frustration. “I can’t believe you invited her! You knew we’d broken up! I’d told you a thousand times!”

  She said weakly, “I-I just wanted you to be happy.”

  “Mother, she never made me happy!”

  “Whatever, Tristan.” The Creature rolled her eyes and pulled her cell phone out from her purse. “I’ll leave so you can have fun with your babysitter.”

  I laughed humorlessly, “Oh, he’s not ‘with’ me.”

  All at once, Tristan came out of his state of rage and turned toward me with a frustrating level of surprise on his face. “Amy?”

  “Tristan,” I shot back. He was the one who said he wasn’t dating anyone. How in the world could he be confused?

  The Creature pressed her phone to her ear. “Hello, Mick? You have to get me out of here.”

  Tristan continued to face me, his expression now calm and serious. “Amy, will you drive me back to Grayfield?” He shook his head. “This place—the memories—”

  “Tonight?” I asked and looked into the kitchen for help. Mrs. Edmund gave me a silent plea to agree, if it would make him happy. I sighed. “Okay.”

  Chapter 15

  If there’s one thing I could do, it was be stubborn. Like sitting in a car full of awkward silence for nearly two hours. Oh yes, I could do that. The only problem was deciding when to break that silence. On the highway? Too dangerous. Driving through downtown Grayfield? Too many pedestrians. No, I wasn’t going to do it until I was within jogging distance of the Edmunds’ house—and I’m not a runner, so that distance is about a mile. I waited anxiously because I knew once I broke the silence, there was no going back.

  Turning onto Edmund Road, I carefully took aim and fired, “You know, your mom didn’t do anything wrong.”

  Tristan didn’t seem startled, as if he’d known that I would be the first one to speak. “She shouldn’t have had her come. Then none of this would have happened.”

  “Maybe she just wanted to help. Maybe she just wanted you to stop feeling sorry for yourself and start living your life. Maybe she would’ve done anything to make that happen.”

  In the dim light cast by the car’s dashboard, I could see him turn his head toward me, his arms crossed. “Maybe she should see I’m doing the best I can.”

  “But you haven’t tried to adapt at all!” I cried, leaning harder on the gas and causing the Cabriolet to jolt forward.

  “Amy, my girlfriend dumped me, my father died, and I lost my sight!” Tristan fisted one hand and pressed the other against the window, like he was trying to escape a nightmare.

  “Well, you could’ve had her back, so can cross that off your list.”

  “I never wanted her back!” Tristan shook his head slowly. “Lexus just—she reminded me of how things used to be. My old life.”

  “I thought you hated your old life,” I muttered and glanced down at the odometer, noting that I was going a good twenty miles per hour over the speed limit.

  “I do.” He shrugged. “But at least I knew how to live that life.”

  I hit the brake to slow the car and turned to look at him. “You know what, Tristan? Most people don’t know what they’re going to do with their lives. Most people don’t have it all laid out for them. I don’t even know what college I’m going to go to! Still! So, yeah, life’s hard, but you’ve got to live it.”

  Hearing something in my voice, something that I’d refused to verbalize, his face softened. He said quietly, “You really hated her being there, didn’t you?”

  I gave a short laugh at the irony. Why did he realize that now?! “Of course!”

  “Why didn’t you say something?”

  My throat suddenly tightened and my eyes burned as I held back tears. I choked, “Because you should’ve known that you being with her was hurting me!”

  His posture drooping, Tristan began, “Amy, I wasn’t trying to be with her. I didn’t think—”

  “No you didn’t!” I lashed out. “And that’s part of the job, I guess.”

  “Don’t say that,” he whispered, looking offended.

  “Why?” I spat. “It’s true.”

  “Amy, I’m sorry I hurt you. That night when we kissed, I meant everything I said.” Tristan sighed heavily. “But, then Lexus came and I was confused. I was...stupid.” He shook his head. “I’m so glad you stayed.”

  “I had to.”

  Tristan frowned. “Because of the money?”

  I bit my lip, torn how to r
espond. How many times had I wanted to leave? I knew money was the reason Ahna had told me to stay, the reason I had told myself. But was it the truth? “I want to go to Evanston College and the money....”

  “That’s the only reason?” he pressed.

  “I don’t know, Tristan.” I paused, unable to ignore the honest plea written on his face. “I mean, no, it wasn’t! But, now....”

  “You can’t forgive me?”

  The car’s headlights fell on the Edmunds’ gate and I let off the gas, bringing the Cabriolet to a stop. Throwing the car into Park, I told him, “We’re here.”

  Tristan sat still, his breathing shallow and his face tense with worry. He remained silent for several painful seconds while he searched for something to say. Finally, almost timidly, he asked, “Are you coming tomorrow?”

  I took in a deep breath and closed my eyes. “I’ll come.”

  “Okay.” He gave a quick nod, as if to convince himself everything was all right. “The passcode is zero two one.”

  I opened the car’s window and leaned my arm out, pressing the numbers into the gate opener. The gate buzzed and swung open, allowing the Cabriolet to coast up the drive. I parked behind my Camry, which was sitting patiently in front on the Edmunds’ house. I gave it a small smile, before reaching into the backseat to grab my duffle bag. Climbing out, I threw my bag over my shoulder and met Tristan in front of his car. He held out his hand, palm up.

  I reached out, pressing his keys into his hand, and his fingers closed around mine. He said firmly, “I’ll see you tomorrow, Amy.”

  “Good night, Tristan,” I said, pulling back my hand, and walked to my car. I knew what he wanted: some assurance that everything was going to be fine between us. But I was tired and I didn’t have an answer to his question.

  * * *

  I pulled my Camry into my driveway and killed the engine. Shouldering my bag, I walked up to my house, careful not to make too much noise while I undid the lock and stepped into the kitchen. Flicking on the light, I saw that the day’s mail was strewn on the kitchen table. I desperately needed some good news and I wondered if maybe my brother had managed to put a stamp on an envelope and toss it into the mail. It was possible.