Secrets of the Wee Free Men and Discworld

by Linda Washington

  For other moments of chaos in Discworld (this list is by no means exhaustive), see the chart here.

  And soon there was order out of chaos …

  Not content to leave everything in a mess, Pratchett shows how order comes from chaos. This is also known as resolving the conflict.

  So in The Last Hero, Carrot’s heroic intervention, like Alan Ladd’s in High Noon or like any of the X-Men’s (except for the Phoenix), helps prevent total chaos. This is also why Granny Weatherwax, another attractor, can help Tiffany set things right in Wintersmith or any other book in which Granny Weatherwax appears. This is why the Monks of History soldier on, helping to repair the universe every time it is destroyed.

  And this is why Vetinari, the ultimate attractor as the Patrician in Ankh-Morpork, maintains power in a city like Ankh-Morpork … .

  Fade to black … .

  BOOK STRANGE ATTRACTOR(S) MOMENT(S) OF CHAOS

  Equal Rites Drum Billet Having given his staff to what he assumes is a male child, Billet inadvertently creates the first female wizard—Eskarina.

  Mort Mort By saving Princess Keli from assassination, Mort messes with the fabric of time and reality. (Nice going, Mort.)

  Wyrd Sisters Duke Felmet and his wife Granny makes time speed up fifteen years to allow Tomjon, the rightful king of Lancre, to grow up. But the murderous duke still refuses to give up the throne. What’s more, Tomjon doesn’t want to be king.

  Reaper Man The Auditors Death is fired and marked for termination, which causes an increase in Life, which means Ankh- Morpork will be destroyed.

  Lords and Ladies The Dancers Diamanda, a young witch, leaps between the Dancers, a circle of stones (see chapter 14), causing the Fairy Queen and her elves to invade Lancre.

  Jingo The island of Leshp When Ankh -Morpork and Klatch both claim it, war is declared.

  Night Watch Quantum interference (the weird lightning) Sam Vimes and the psychopathic Carcer are sent back in time. Their actions make the future uncertain.

  Going Postal Moist von Lipwig Moist’s boasts and lies spin everything into chaos (Post Office burns to the ground; he boasts that he can get a package to Genua before the clacks).

  4

  The Discworld Tapestry: Can They All Get Along?

  Can we all get along?

  —Rodney King

  The principal aim of the tapestry, obviously, was to cover the walls of a given room completely, and to provide a homogeneous decoration which related to both the walls and the furniture.54

  This is a chapter about a tapestry, but not like the Unicorn Tapestries, one of the most famous sets of tapestries in the world, dating back to 1500. We’re talking about the tapestry of humanity. (Already, you’re probably thinking, I’ve heard the tapestry analogy before. Cliché. But bear with us.)

  A tapestry is designed to cover a wall. A human tapestry covers a world. In our world, the human tapestry consists of people of various races. You know them. We don’t have to list them. If you saw the video for “We Are the World” ages ago, attended a meeting at the UN, or looked at Carrie’s pets, you’d see colors as varied as the threads of a medieval tapestry. (Well, Carrie’s pets are only somewhat varied color-wise. Two have a mostly black and white color scheme. Sassie, the orange tabby, is in the minority. But the other two do not discriminate.)

  The people and species of creatures of Discworld form a unique tapestry with threads from throughout literature. In chapter 1, we discussed how various myths informed Pratchett’s choice of people or beings to populate his series. But how do those people and beings fit together? What are the warp and weft of their relationships?

  In a tapestry, the various threads work together to show the whole picture. In the Discworld tapestry, the “threads” often try their best to pull out the other threads. It’s the same in our world. Let’s face it—we don’t always get along. Hatred and prejudice wear a very human face. You can probably easily think of books and movies that deal with the reality of tense racial situations. For example, To Kill a Mockingbird, A Time to Kill, To Sir with Love, The Defiant Ones (the Tony Curtis/Sidney Poitier movie from 1958), West Side Story, Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner (old and new), Amazing Grace, Amistad, The Interpreter. Some of these tensions are played out in wars that stain the human tapestry.

  With such an explosive situation, maybe that’s why many sci-fi and fantasy writers use alien races or even differing types of robots or androids in their stories as a metaphor for race relations. Think of the Vulcans and Romulans in the first Star Trek series. Think of the Daleks and Cybermen in the most recent Doctor Who series on BBC One. (Well, the Daleks and Cybermen hate everyone but themselves. And they’re not all robot, either. Cybermen have human brains and the Daleks are bad-tempered small aliens in armored suits. No wonder prejudicial thoughts occur.)

  Although there are no “aliens” per se in Discworld, Pratchett shows race relations among humans and between humans and other species. Let’s look at the human factor first.

  DISC-CLAIMER:

  Plot spoilers ahead. Read at your own risk.

  PATTERN I: THE HUMAN FACTOR

  We have met the enemy and he is us.

  —Walt Kelly,55 creator of Pogo comic strip

  Klatch vs. Ankh-Morpork

  I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

  —Martin Luther King

  In Jingo, a mysterious island rich in treasures (or so the rumor goes) is a hotbed of contention between the people of Klatch and of Ankh-Morpork. Pratchett weaves the threat of war in with moments of slapstick. But more than that, we see the attitudes of the people of Ankh-Morpork and of Klatch toward each other, especially when Vimes is asked to explain a derogatory remark leveled at a visiting prince from Klatch. And even Vimes has to explore his attitude toward 71-hour Ahmed, the clove-eating cultural attaché and bodyguard. (But then, Vimes never pretends to be PC.)

  The island ownership issue sparks race-related skirmishes in Ankh-Morpork. We’ve certainly heard about or experienced those in our country. During the civil rights movement in the 1950s and 1960s, riots broke out in Chicago, Birmingham, and other places. The death threats during Prince Cadram’s diplomatic visit to Ankh-Morpork reminded us of the threats Martin Luther King received while organizing nonviolent protests—threats that culminated in his assassination in 1968. But race riots didn’t end there. The verdict after the trial of police officers caught on video beating Rodney King sparked a three-day riot in Los Angeles in 1992.

  War over a piece of land is a familiar tune played over centuries. In the United States as the West was settled, soldiers fought Native Americans over the plains. The Battle of the Little Bighorn in June 1876 (a.k.a. Custer’s last stand) was fought over the Black Hills of South Dakota. Miners wanted the area for the gold they found. The Lakota Sioux, who had a reservation there as well as a treaty signed by the government, considered the land sacred. General George Armstrong Custer was sent to deal with the situation. Custer’s troops faced the combined forces of Lakota Sioux and Northern Cheyenne warriors and lost. Fatally.

  At least in Jingo, the war is averted. But not so with the duchy of Borogravia and its Zlobenian antagonists in Monstrous Regiment. Prince Heinrich wants control of the duchy. Pratchett alludes to Walt Kelly’s poignant statement with Polly Perks’s thought, We have met the enemy and he is nice.56 But such thoughts don’t keep her from fighting.

  Agatean Empire vs. Ankh-Morpork with Rincewind on the Side

  As we look at this wall—we do not want any walls of any kind between peoples.

  —Richard Nixon57

  They’re, well … foreign over there.

  —Archchancellor Ridcully about the Agatean Empire58

  Diplomacy is a way of weaving the threads of two countries together. (It’s also a way to forge powerful alliances with bigger countries with better weaponry.) In Interesting Times, Rincewind’s en
forced diplomatic trip to the Agatean Empire (a country with some aspects of China and Japan) in the Counterweight Continent reminded us of former president Richard Nixon’s historic visit to the People’s Republic of China in 1972, a trip that paved the way for a new foreign policy. No other U.S. president had visited China before. First time for everything. While we take for granted today that anyone can visit China (we visited China thirty years after Nixon’s trip; no albatrosses were dispatched to encourage the visit), the fact that anyone can go there is probably due to Nixon’s trip.

  Just before that trip, then national security officer Henry Kissinger visited Beijing. But before that, an American Ping-Pong team paved the way for the visit—hence the “ping-pong diplomacy” designation for Nixon’s trip.

  Relations between the U.S. and China had been strained at best. But China’s weakened alliance with Russia strengthened U.S. resolve to visit the country. Nixon met with Prime Minister Zhou Enlai and Communist party leader Mao Zedong. So, what did they talk about? Now that the notes from their meetings have been declassified, we know they talked about the Vietnam War, Taiwan (would it become independent?), and the Chinese leaders’ fears about Japan—whether it would continue to expand.

  Discworld’s Lord Hong is no Mao Zedong. Hong comes from a wealthy family. Mao Zedong was the son of a peasant who rose to wealth. Mao became the leader of the Red Army (now the People’s Liberation Army)—the revolutionaries. Lord Hong wants the Red Army—the revolutionaries of the story—to fail. But the incredibly large Chinese Red Army, begun in 1927, has similarities not only in size but also to the history of the PLA.

  Unfortunately, Lord Hong doesn’t factor in the chaos a Rincewind and a Cohen the Barbarian could cause. (More on chaos in chapter 3.) No one ever does. Suffice it to say that there’s no army big enough to stop them.

  Omnians vs. The Ephebians: Jihad Discworld-style

  A nation’s culture resides in the hearts and in the soul of its people.

  —Mohandas Gandhi59

  Religious wars and persecution are still other ways the threads of the tapestry try to pull each other out. In Small Gods, Deacon Vorbis, the Quisition head, instigates war against Ephebe and anyone else who refuses to believe in “the right” god—Om—a god that Vorbis doesn’t really believe in. The Islamic term “jihad”—“holy war”—immediately leaps to mind. Vorbis also wants to persecute anyone who claims to be a devotee of the “turtle movement”—those who believe that the world is carried on the backs of four elephants standing on a giant turtle. In his opinion, the very thought is ridiculous!

  It’s all a matter of perspective.

  You can see the similarities between the turtle movement and early Christians who had secret signs and calls to alert or encourage one another in times of persecution. And, of course, the Quisition is like the Spanish Inquisition, a tribunal begun by King Ferdinand II of Aragon and Queen Isabella I of Castile (a.k.a. the “Catholic King and Queen”) in the fifteenth century in reaction to suspicions concerning the conversion of Jews to Christianity. The inquisitor general (Vorbis’s office in Small Gods) headed the Inquisition. The idea was to maintain Catholicism in the kingdom of Castile. One way to do this was to stamp out what inquisitors believed were heretical ideas (i.e., Protestant beliefs) through the use of trials and torture. You’ve probably heard the saying “Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition,” a saying popularized in a Monty Python sketch. This was because no one knew exactly when the inquisitors would roll into town. Everything was hush-hush.

  Vorbis’s trip to Ephebe and the war that almost results also bring to mind the Crusades, starting at the end of the eleventh century. The Crusades were a counter-jihad of sorts fought in Palestine and Syria, after Muslims tried to take back Christianized areas. The fighting went on for centuries.

  Sadly, we’re all well acquainted with the consequences of the jihad of our day: war in Iraq, suicide bombings, buildings toppling in New York on September 11, 2001, and so on, thanks to the efforts of Muslim extremists. As a counter-jihad to the trauma of 2001, U.S. troops were dispatched to Afghanistan beginning in 2003. It’s déjà vu all over again.

  To the Muslim, jihad isn’t just a war against a perceived enemy, it is a duty. Think of the jihad of the Fremen led by their Messiah—Muad’Dib/Lisan al-Gaib in Frank Herbert’s Dune (classic Dune). As Daniel Pipes of The New York Post put it, “Jihad is thus unabashedly offensive in nature, with the eventual goal of achieving Muslim dominion over the entire globe.”60

  Vorbis would agree.

  Males vs. Females: Gender Politics

  I usually make up my mind about a man in ten seconds; and I very rarely change it.

  —Margaret Thatcher61

  Another rip in the tapestry is the war between the sexes. In Equal Rites, Pratchett addresses the issue with Eskarina’s quest to become a wizard—a quest opposed by the wizards and even, for a time, Granny Weatherwax. Granny pooh-poohs the notion of women using wizard’s magic (fireballs and such) not only in Equal Rites, but also in Wintersmith.

  The only women the wizards gladly admit to the hallowed halls of Unseen University are Mrs. Whitlow the housekeeper, a woman they admit they’re afraid of, and her staff. Occasionally Susan drops by via the rite of AshkEnte when subbing for Death. To the wizards, women aren’t capable of “high” magic. They’re only good for, well, womanly things like birthing babies. Hmmm.

  While the Discworld series is no Feminine Mystique, the seminal work by Betty Friedan, it is chock-full of strong female characters trying to overcome the limitations set for them in predominantly male environments. In Monstrous Regiment, Polly Perks and other members of Sergeant Jackrum’s regiment learn a hard fact of life that female dwarfs in Discworld already know: to get ahead in a male-dominated society, disguising one’s femininity is sadly necessary. Dee learns to play the game of politics by acting and looking like a male dwarf. And Polly Perks learns the value of a well-placed pair of socks, as well as a well-aimed knee when accosted by frisky enemy troops.

  There’s Conina, the daughter of Cohen the Barbarian, who may look like a helpless female but is just as deadly as Cohen. Several thugs in Sourcery find this out the hard way. And there’s Ptraci the handmaid half sister of Teppic in Pyramids. Ptraci isn’t your stereotypical happy harem girl. (See chapter 11 for other strong women in the Discworld.)

  Pratchett provides other moments of feminine enlightenment, all the while tweaking gender stereotypes. In Thud! Sally von Humpeding, the vampire Watchperson, tries to school Angua after seeing Angua trailing after Carrot with puppy eyes. In turn, Sally, Angua, and Cheery Littlebottom, the forensics recruit on the Watch, do the same for Nobby’s girlfriend Tawneee, who is perfectly willing to stand by her … man. (You can’t help pausing when the words “man” and “Nobby” are used together.)

  But for the ultimate in feminine enlightenment, there’s Nobby, who dresses as a woman in Jingo and has a heart-to-heart chat with a group of women who complain about a man. He gets so into his role, he starts to complain about Colon’s gender stereotyping.

  PATTERN II: THE MYTHOLOGY FACTOR

  The designer of the cartoons for the tapestries was strongly influenced by other works of art.

  —John Williamson, The Oak King, the Holly King, and the Unicorn62

  Dwarfs vs. Trolls

  Trolls. Dwarfs of Northern mythology, living in hills, underground in caverns or beneath; they are represented as stumpy, misshapen, and humpbacked, inclined to thieving, and fond of carrying off human children and substituting their own.63

  Dwarfs. Dwarfs … generally dwelt in rocks, caves, and recesses of the earth, were the guardians of its mineral wealth and precious stones, and were very skillful in the working of these.64

  In Discworld, prejudice isn’t just about one human looking down on another. Pratchett throws in other species (trolls, vampires, werewolves, golems, and zombies) to add to the malcontent mix.

  As we mentioned in chapter 1, Pratchett is strongly influenced by o
ther works of literature. In Discworld, he includes the good and the bad, with his own special tweaks. With dwarfs and trolls, you find the good, the bad, and the sometimes ugly.

  In Discworld, the dwarfs and trolls are ancient enemies, a fact shown through the Battle of Koom Valley—discussed especially in Thud!—and their uneasy relations in Ankh-Morpork. When a dwarf is murdered, a troll is the fall guy. But friendships between dwarfs and trolls, like the friendship between Lance-constable Detritus and Lance-constable Cuddy in Men at Arms, also occur, which serve as a mirror of sorts for times in this country and others when relationships between members of different races were deemed “shocking.”

  In mythology and its fantasy offspring, trolls are considered stupid, strong, and rarely on the side of good. Think way back to childhood when you heard the tale of “The Three Billy Goats Gruff,” a tale from the collection of Peter Christen Asbjørnsen and Jørgen Moe. Who was the bad guy? The troll under the bridge. Or consider The Hobbit. Bilbo Baggins and the dwarves encountered a group of hungry but easily fooled trolls, who tried to snack on them. And in The Lord of the Rings, trolls fought on Sauron’s side.

  Discworld trolls (which, it should be noted, are huge and made of rock) have the same “stupid and strong” reputation. They have a watchdog committee—the Silicon Anti-Defamation League—headed by troll thug Chrysophrase. (Watchdog organizations in our world: the NAACP, the ACLU, the Jewish Defamation League.)