Dreaming of Christmas

by Dreaming of Christmas (retail)

‘Far, far better than I could have hoped. In fact, it was almost as if he was already expecting it. He told me he knew things between us had been getting stale, and that he’d noticed how depressed I’d been. He asked me if this meant I wanted a divorce and I told him no, very much the opposite. Doing something so stupid had made me realise how much I love him. I asked him to forgive me, to try to understand that it was just a moment of madness, that it would never, ever happen again, and how it had actually strengthened my feelings for him.’

  ‘And his reaction?’

  ‘He caught hold of me and hugged me so tightly, he accidentally pressed the alarm button and the nurse came running. Once we’d explained to her that it was a false alarm and she’d left, he told me he loved me dearly and asked me to forgive him for maybe not being as caring and considerate as he could have been. Although things are better now, he said he’s had a lot on his plate at work and he knows he should’ve made more effort at home.’

  ‘So it’s all good now?’

  ‘It’s all fine. Thank God.’

  ‘Did you tell him who the other man was? Does he know him?’

  ‘He didn’t ask and I didn’t tell him.’ Mandy took a deep breath. ‘And what about you, Zo? Are you and Grant getting back together?’

  Zoë shook her head. ‘No, I told him tonight. It’s definitely over and that’s that. It’s a question of trust.’

  To her surprise, she saw a look of relief flood across Mandy’s face. Now it was her turn to grip Zoë’s hand and squeeze it.

  ‘Thank God for that. I’m so, so glad.’ Zoë was still trying to digest this reaction when Mandy looked up from their entwined fingers and straight into her eyes. ‘You see, Zo, it was him. My moment of madness last September was with Grant. Now do you see just how screwed up I’ve been?’

  ‘With Grant?’ Zoë felt the air whistle out of her lungs. ‘You and Grant?’

  There were tears in Mandy’s eyes now. ‘Ever since we got here, I’ve been dreading you announcing that the two of you were going to get back together again. I knew I had to tell you, but I’ve been so scared.’

  Zoë was in turmoil. She couldn’t work out if she was angry with Mandy or simply shocked. As for Grant, it just made her decision to sever relations with him all the more justified. Her eyes dropped towards her hand, still being held by Mandy, and she shook her head in disbelief. She gave Mandy’s fingers a little squeeze, then released them and stood up.

  ‘Thanks for telling me, Mand. You didn’t need to. I’d never have found out. Besides, what Grant does is no business of mine.’

  ‘I’m so sorry, Zoë, honestly. I know you and he had broken up, but still, I shouldn’t have done it. I’ve been so, so stupid. Please forgive me.’

  ‘There’s nothing to forgive. Really, it’s all right. Now I think I’m going to go to bed. I hope you get a good night’s sleep.’

  ‘Goodnight, Zoë, and thank you.’

  ‘Goodnight, Mandy. Sleep well.’

  Chapter 14

  When Zoë woke next morning, she was in no hurry to get up. The previous night, she had been so tired she had fallen asleep almost immediately, but now, in the light of day, snuggled underneath her wonderful cosy duvet, she had time to think back on the events of the last few days – up to and including Mandy’s bombshell about the identity of her mysterious lover. The one thing that emerged clearly from the revelation was the confirmation that the decision to tell Grant they were finished once and for all had been the right one. The fact that he hadn’t batted an eyelid at the idea of going to bed with one of their good friends, and in so doing potentially ruining her marriage, was sickening. The fact that he had then come along on bended knee, telling Zoë she was the only woman for him and he wanted to get back together with her, was equally unpalatable. She lay under the quilt and snorted to herself.

  She didn’t have much time for snorting as she heard a gentle noise from the direction of the door. Looking up, she saw a piece of paper emerge under it and she threw back the covers to go and take a look. It was a note from Billy.

  Hi, Zoë. Hope you slept well. I’m just going out for a quick walk with Arnie. I’m going to be tied up this afternoon, but I wondered if you felt like skiing to the castle this morning. It could be a bit of fun. See you at breakfast. Billy.

  Zoë glanced at the time and saw that it was almost half past seven. The sun was already up and it promised to be another sparkling, cloudless day. She hurried into the bathroom.

  Before going out, she checked her emails again and wasn’t surprised to see another one from Damien, sent at half past midnight. There were rumours he slept in the office, and she could well believe it. This email, like the three others he had already sent her, was asking how she was getting on and making a thinly veiled threat of reprisals if she didn’t get the story. She shot off a quick reply, telling him the article was progressing and she might speak to Billy about it after the gala ball on Monday night. As she pressed Send, she knew that was a cowardly response and sooner or later she would have to break the news to Damien that she wasn’t going to go along with his plan. Although she was still adding to the article, she was more and more convinced that she wasn’t going to say anything to Billy at all and she would just forget the whole thing. The more she saw of him, the more she liked him and the less she felt like invading his privacy.

  When she walked into the dining room, she saw Billy and Daniela sitting with Juliet at a table by one of the windows. She helped herself to a bowl of fruit salad and went across to join them. As she did so, a black shape emerged from under the table and a happy Labrador jumped up to greet her.

  ‘Morning, Arnie. Morning, you three. Sleep well?’

  ‘Yes thanks.’ Juliet caught her eye. ‘What about you, Zo? How did it go with Grant?’

  Billy looked up from his muesli. ‘Grant? Does that mean you two are back together?’

  Zoë shook her head decisively. ‘Very much the opposite. No, after dinner last night I told him it was all over between us. Period.’

  ‘And how did he take it?’

  ‘Not brilliantly, but he definitely got the message. That’s it. It’s finished.’

  ‘So now you can begin a new chapter in your life.’ Daniela smiled across at her. ‘That’s exciting, isn’t it?’

  ‘Where to from here, Zo?’ Juliet also gave her an encouraging smile.

  ‘I’m taking it one day at a time. As far as today’s concerned, I’m planning on taking Billy up on his offer to visit the castle.’

  ‘The castle? I didn’t even know there was a castle.’ Juliet looked to Billy for help.

  ‘Oh yes. Take this hotel, for instance – the clue’s in the name.’

  Zoë understood immediately. ‘Of course – Schloss means castle and Berg means mountain. But where is the castle?’

  Billy pointed out of the side window. ‘Behind the hotel the ground rises steeply for a long way until it reaches a sort of outcrop with a flattish plateau. Above that, the mountain proper starts. The castle’s on that outcrop. At least it was. There was a medieval castle there until it was knocked down by some warlord or other in the seventeenth century. All we’ll be able to see are the remains of a tower and a big archway. At this time of year everything else will be hidden by snow, but the view from up there, down over the hotel, the town and the valley, is superb. And getting up there and back down again will be a lot of fun.’

  Zoë looked at him suspiciously. ‘Fun as in your Hubschrauber jump? Or worse?’

  ‘Nothing so dramatic, although the first few hundred metres are a bit steep. Remember when we took the gondola lift up to the very top and then skied over to the other side? Well, this time we ski back on this side. Jules, you’re very welcome to join us if you like.’

  Juliet shook her head decisively.

  ‘I can still remember how scary it looked. No thanks, Billy. Danni and I are planning something much more sedate this morning, and then Zoë and I – assuming she survives – are going shopping at the C
hristmas market.’

  * * *

  Zoë and Juliet travelled up on the chairlift with Billy and Daniela and then skied with them for half an hour or so as they worked their way across to the bottom of the gondola lift. As Daniela and Juliet skied on, Zoë and Billy took the lift up to the mountaintop. As they climbed ever higher, Zoë began to feel more and more apprehensive – especially as they drew closer to the near-vertical slope immediately below the top, across which they would have to traverse. Billy must have noticed her concern.

  ‘Seriously, Zoë, it’ll be fine. It’s just that the slope’s a bit bare and steep for the first hundred metres or so. After that, it levels out slightly and there are trees.’ He reached across and tapped her gloved hand with his. ‘Trust me, I wouldn’t have suggested it if I didn’t think you were up to it.’

  Zoë nodded. She did trust him – in fact, she trusted him implicitly. She summoned a nervous smile.

  ‘Thanks, Billy. I’ll be fine if you say so.’

  ‘I do say so. I wouldn’t ever let anything happen to you.’

  It was such a sweet thing to say, she almost leant over and gave him a kiss, but she resisted the temptation, feeling sure it would only make him embarrassed.

  When they were standing at the top, looking down, she very nearly turned tail and climbed back on the lift. Below them was a very, very steep slope. It wasn’t completely vertical, so it wasn’t a cliff as such. It was covered in snow, rather than bare rock, but she had little doubt that if she lost her footing as they traversed across it, she wouldn’t stop sliding until she hit the trees a long way below. She felt her throat dry and her heart pound, but Billy didn’t give her time to have serious second thoughts.

  ‘Ready? Just follow me and it’ll be fine.’

  He gave her a wink and then slipped smoothly sideways onto the slope, carving across it on just the inside edges of his skis, his shoulders turned out towards the valley. Zoë took a couple of deep breaths and followed him.

  It probably only took a minute or two to get across the slope to the trees on the far side, but she couldn’t remember breathing at any point in the process. As she finally skied to a halt alongside Billy, she exhaled and then gasped for air. Glancing back over her shoulder, it looked even steeper. She sucked in a few more breaths as she felt her heartbeat begin to return to normal.

  ‘Brilliant, Zoë. That was perfect. Well done. From now on, it’s plain sailing.’

  ‘I haven’t been so terrified for ages.’

  ‘Don’t be silly. You’re too good to fall on a simple slope like that.’

  ‘Simple slope…?’

  They set off again and Zoë followed him through the snow-covered trees, gradually curling around the hillside. As predicted, the ground levelled out after a while and she spotted the ruins of the castle poking up through the snow. Billy led her into the middle of the ruins as far as the remains of a massive Gothic arch, half submerged beneath metres of snow. To one side there was an opening in the rocky hillside and he skied right up to it and stopped.

  ‘Coffee break?’

  Zoë followed his example, releasing her bindings and stepping off her skis, standing her poles up alongside them. Then she turned and inspected what was evidently a cave in the rock – whether natural or man-made was hard to establish with so much snow covering and softening the edges. A few paces inside the cave it was clear of snow and somebody had had the good sense to install a solid-looking bench. At Billy’s invitation, Zoë sat down on it. She had to agree with him – the view really was spectacular. Framed by the rocky entrance to the cave, the whole valley opened up before them and she could see right out over range after range of mountains. Directly below them was the hotel and the town, with tiny ant-sized figures moving about.

  ‘Here, I wasn’t joking about the coffee.’

  From his backpack he removed a Thermos flask and two cups, along with a plastic box containing two slices of sumptuous chocolatey Sachertorte. Zoë felt her smile broaden.

  ‘Wow, that’s amazing. Were you in the Boy Scouts, Billy? Be prepared and all that?’

  ‘No. When I was that age, I was building my first computer.’ He smiled back at her. ‘Apart from my trips over here to see my relatives, I didn’t get out into the great outdoors very much. That’s why I’ve got a lot of catching up to do now.’

  ‘I envy you that. I played a lot of sport as a girl, but never really got out into the country either.’

  ‘Well, remember, I wasn’t joking when I said you were very welcome to come back in the summer – with or without Juliet. If you like, we could go camping in the mountains. It’s amazing the wildlife you see. A few years back they found a brown bear that had wandered over from Italy only a few kilometres from here, but I don’t think there are any more of them left.’

  ‘A bear?’ Zoë shook her head. ‘I’m all for a bit of wildlife, but I draw the line at bears.’ She took a sip of hot coffee and eyed her piece of chocolate cake hungrily. ‘Still, that’s a very kind invitation, and like Jules, I know I’m going to take you and Daniela up on it.’

  ‘If you want to bring your next boyfriend, please do.’

  ‘Somehow I don’t think there’s going to be one of them for a good long while, Billy. I want to get the whole Grant thing out of my system first.’

  ‘Is that really all over? He looks and sounds very keen still.’

  ‘Not after last night he doesn’t – or at least I hope he doesn’t. I told him straight to his face that we’re history now. And that’s absolutely final.’ She looked across at Billy, remembering what Mandy had told her. ‘For all sorts of reasons.’

  ‘Wow! I was chatting to him after you went off to bed last night and he appeared absolutely normal – not a care in the world.’

  ‘He’s a very good actor. To him, lying is an art form.’ She reached for the Sachertorte. ‘It’s the lack of trust that’s the killer. That sort of thing leaves a nasty taste in the mouth.’ She took a big bite of the soft, rich cake, feeling the apricot inside mix wonderfully with the dark chocolate. ‘Mmm, talking of tastes in the mouth, this is gorgeous.’

  ‘Glad you like it. Well, I’m happy for you if that’s what you want. Besides, I’m sure you’ll find yourself somebody else. I’ve seen the way you look when you’re around Bella. You were so good with her while her dad and mum were at the hospital. Perhaps you’ll be starting your own family before long.’

  ‘One step at a time, Billy.’

  She took another bite of cake and washed it down with a mouthful of coffee. It was a delightful way to spend a morning and she really enjoyed Billy’s company, feeling very relaxed with him. After a while, she turned the question round on him.

  ‘So what about you and Daniela? Are you thinking about kids?’

  ‘I’d love kids. I was an only child and I wish I’d had a brother or sister. Yes, I’d definitely like to start a family.’

  She noticed that he used the pronoun I, rather than we. Whether this indicated that Daniela didn’t share his opinion wasn’t clear, but she decided it wasn’t her place to enquire.

  ‘I’m sure they’ll be the luckiest of children.’ She caught his eye. ‘And not just because you’ve done so well for yourself financially. Somehow I just know you’ll make a great dad – although if you take your kids across that cliff we skied over earlier this morning, Daniela will probably – and quite rightly – divorce you on the spot.’

  They sat and chatted as they ate their cake and drank their coffee. She told him about her life in London and he told her about life in California. By the time the cake box was empty, they both knew a good deal more about each other. She knew full well that she now had more than enough to finish the piece for HC magazine about him, but she also knew she wasn’t going to do that. She would be scared stiff of ruining what was turning into a very special kind of friendship, so she decided not to mention it to him. She would just tell Damien that Billy had said no. And if Damien didn’t like it, that was his hard luck.
/>   She was just finishing her coffee when she heard Billy whisper, ‘Don’t move a muscle, Zoë. Look!’

  She could barely hear him, but her eyes followed the direction of his pointing finger. At the entrance to the cave there was a sudden movement, and a sinuous shape detached itself from the rock and emerged into the sunlight. It was a gorgeous little furry animal with a dark head, a cream-coloured body and a very white bib under its chin. It was the length of a cat, but much, much lower to the ground, and its tail was bushier even than a squirrel’s. She had a vague idea that it was some sort of weasel or stoat, but she had never seen one of either before. It stopped for a moment, stared directly at them and then, with a graceful movement, disappeared behind a snowdrift.

  ‘How beautiful. What was it, Billy? A weasel?’

  ‘Close, but no cigar. That little fellow was a pine marten. We get a lot of them in the forests around here, but we’re really lucky to see one so close.’

  ‘Well, better a pine marten than a bear, I suppose.’

  ‘Quite.’

  As they stood up again and she watched him bundle the Thermos and the plastic box back into his pack, she knew that her decision not to write the article was the right one. This morning had been so great, it would be a crime to risk spoiling it. Decision taken, she gave him a broad smile.

  ‘Thank you so much for this morning, Billy, terrifying cliff face and all. It’s been just perfect.’

  He looked back at her with an answering smile. ‘And it gets even better. We’ve now got a vertical kilometre run through some of the finest ski territory anywhere in the world.’

  He hadn’t oversold the run back to the hotel. There was something very exciting about being the only people skiing through such a large area. They didn’t encounter a single sign of any other humans, although there were numerous animal tracks. As the sun hit the trees, an intoxicating aroma of resin was released, and Zoë breathed deeply, relishing the experience. It was stimulating, it was exhilarating and it was very good exercise. By the time they got back to the hotel, her thigh muscles were screaming at her once more, but she didn’t care. It had without doubt been the most fun she had ever had on skis.