Ryan: O’Connor Brothers #2

by Kelly, A. S.

  “Do you want to share it?” the waitress asks.

  Christine looks at me with her huge, sweet eyes, and I find myself nodding.

  When they bring our dessert, she slowly plunges her spoon into the brownie, then slips the spoon into her mouth; my problem under the table is almost unbearable now.

  “Mmm,” she says, closing her eyes and licking her lips.

  And I can’t stop thinking about how much I want to lick those full, plump lips.

  “Do you want some?” she asks, pushing the spoon in front of me.

  They’ve only brought us one spoon.

  One dessert, one spoon.

  For both of us.

  I look at the spoon, then back at her, a strange feeling threatening to break through everything. My chest, my head, my body.

  Me.

  I nod wordlessly, as she hands me the spoon.

  I open my mouth and let the taste pulse through me, mixing with my urgent longing to feel it on her, this very taste – to feel her inside me.

  “Good?” she asks, her eyes on mine.

  “You have no idea,” I comment, breathlessly.

  * * *

  Christine takes me home. She parks under my building and switches off the engine. She takes a deep breath then speaks, keeping her gaze glued in front of her.

  “That was…unexpected. Whatever it was…I liked it.”

  I nod, even though she can’t see me.

  “I should get home now,” she says, glancing at her watch. “Evan’ll be home soon and I always like to be there for when he comes back.”

  “Sure,” I say, opening the door and placing my foot on the floor outside.

  Do it, Ryan, for fuck’s sake. Now. Grow a pair.

  Kiss her.

  Taste her on your tongue, let it melt away your existence, lose your mind, forget everything you were up to this point.

  Because I know that’s what would happen.

  I’ve known it since I first met her.

  Christine isn’t the kind of woman who tiptoes into your life, leaving the door ajar. She bursts in without asking, flipping everything upside-down, opening up your world and taking control of it.

  Christine is the kind of woman who only comes into your life if she’s going to stay.

  She turns her gaze onto me and smiles.

  “Goodnight, Ryan.”

  “Goodnight, Christine,” I say, getting out of the car and shutting the door.

  I go over to the front door, tap in the code and step inside. I don’t turn around – I can’t, or I’d have to go back and ask her to jump all over me, to stay. And I can’t do that. I know it, and I’m sure that she does too.

  Christine is amazing, now I’m sure of it, despite my awful first impression of her. But I also know that she’s trouble. The kind of trouble that holds you hostage, with no way out; trouble that could save me from myself.

  But it won’t save her from who I am, and what I could do to her.

  43

  Chris

  “Someone’s distracted this morning.”

  “Mmm?”

  “Your parents are here,” Vic says, pointing them out to me as they walk through the door.

  “Oh yeah, I just lost track of time.”

  “Time…?”

  “What do you want, Vic?”

  “You’re being strange this morning, you’re all dazed.”

  “I’m just tired.”

  “Hot date last night?”

  I glare at her. “Don’t be silly.”

  “Why not? Maybe you were out late with someone last night and you don’t want to tell me about it.”

  I slide off the countertop and grab my cup of coffee.

  “Do you really think that would happen?”

  “I don’t know. You’ve been kind of distant these past few days, as if your mind’s been elsewhere.”

  “It’s just been a long week, and I really don’t feel like having breakfast with my parents.”

  “Okay, I believe you. For now.”

  I ignore her and head towards the door to greet my parents. I hug them, and lead them over to their usual table.

  “Breakfast is almost ready.”

  “Where’s Evan?” my mother asks, looking around.

  “He’s just coming, I let him have a lie-in this morning.”

  “Did you let him stay out late again last night?” she starts to pry right away.

  “No, no, just the usual. He was actually home before me,” I say, the words escaping my mouth.

  “So you were out last night, too?”

  Shit.

  “I just went for a few drinks with Vic,” I lie, badly.

  “With me?” Vic appears with our coffees. “We didn’t…”

  I elbow her sharply, almost making her drop the entire tray of coffee.

  “Oh yeah, I almost forgot,” she says, glaring daggers at me. “Of course we went out last night. Just the two of us!”

  I smile gratefully at her, and she walks away. I know that I’ll have to tell her everything about last night later.

  I sit down, as Leah brings over our food, and see Evan through the window, heading towards the café. He comes in and sits down with us right away.

  “Hey everyone!” he exclaims, stealing a piece of toast from my plate.

  “Late night yesterday?” my mother asks immediately.

  Evan shrugs. “Not really.”

  “And was your mother home when you got back?”

  “Mum! I’m right here!”

  “Can we just eat without the interrogations?” my dad thankfully interrupts.

  Mum lets it go, and I only realise now that my sister’s not here.

  “Where’s Emily?” I ask.

  “Your sister’s busy. Something about a study group.”

  Sure. On a Saturday morning. I think she might be the first of us to ever wiggle her way out of one of these breakfasts.

  “I’m going to go get something to eat,” Evan says, getting up and walking over to the counter. After a few seconds, I hear him exclaim: “Hey, Ryan!”

  I whip around just in time to see Ryan give Evan a pat on the back.

  “Who’s that guy?” my mother asks, not missing a beat.

  “Oh, he’s a…friend.”

  “His friend or your friend?” my father’s jumped down from the fence and is ganging up on me, too.

  “He’s just a friend,” I say through gritted teeth.

  Ryan and Evan chat next to the counter. Evan moves his hands animatedly and Ryan smiles at him. After a few moments, I see Riley and his brothers go and join them. She’s the first to notice me, waving in my direction, before saying something to the guys and slowly making her way over to our table.

  And in that moment, Ryan turns around.

  It’s one of those moments where the awkwardness of everything that was going on privately between you is brought out in the open, and you’re forced to act like normal people.

  I smile and he smiles back, just as Riley appears in front of us. I get up and give her a hug.

  “Hey, Chris,” she smiles cheerfully. “I’ve brought my bodyguards with me this morning,” she says, gesturing to the guys behind her.

  “I can see,” I comment.

  “Ian and I wanted to come out for breakfast, but Ryan turned up at ours at seven a.m., then Nick turned up a little later. I don’t think they have anything better to do than come round and torment us.”

  I smile at her.

  “Well, this is my life now…an O’Connor is never alone. They always have to bring an entourage,” she says, giving me a cheeky glance. “You’d better get used to it.”

  “To what?”

  “Darling,” my mother interjects.

  I turn to her. “Oh, of course – how stupid of me. This is Riley, one of our regulars and a friend of mine. Riley, these are my parents.”

  “Nice to meet you.”

  “Oh, honey, how much longer do you have?” my mum asks, her face lit up by the
sight of Riley’s stomach.

  “Just over two months.”

  “You must be so excited,” she comments. “Come and sit with us.”

  “I really…”

  “Just while you’re waiting for the others,” she says, curious. I can tell she’s dying to know who they are.

  “Maybe just for a minute,” she says, sliding herself into the seat next to my mother.

  “I’ll go and clear a table for you all,” I say, heading towards the O’Connors, with my stomach turning anxiously.

  “Good morning, guys,” I say, as casually as I can.

  Ryan turns suddenly towards me and I can’t hold back a dumb smile.

  “Hey, Chris,” Ian says right away. “How’s it going?”

  “Oh, the usual. I’ll go and clear a table for you. Riley’s trapped over there with my parents,” I say, gesturing behind me.

  “They’ve found someone else to interrogate today,” Evan comments sarcastically. “I’ll go over and save her.”

  “You guys can sit down here,” I say, pointing them to a table that Leah has just cleared. “What can I get for you?”

  “I’ll have a full Irish,” Ian says.

  “Me too,” Nick adds.

  “For you?” I ask Ryan.

  “I’ll have the same, please.” He smiles sheepishly at me, and I feel my heart explode in my chest – and it makes no sense. He only asked me for breakfast, and I’m already jumping into his arms.

  “O-okay, I’ll go and see what Riley wants then get it all ready for you,” I say, walking over to my parents’ table to take Riley’s order. She gets up and heads back to join the others.

  “I’m just going to get their breakfast,” I say to my parents.

  “Can’t Leah or Vic do it?” Mum asks, prying as usual into everyone else’s business.

  “I’ll do it. It’ll only take me a few minutes.”

  I go through to the back of the café and get to work, but not before glancing over at the O’Connors’ table.

  Nick and Ian are chatting happily, while Ryan distances himself, his posture stiff and his elbows resting tensely on the table. I force myself to stop staring and get back to work.

  I fry the bacon on the hob and put the toast into the toaster. I grab the plates from the shelf above me and place them on the worksurface – then a voice from behind makes me jump.

  “Am I interrupting?”

  I turn around to see his figure fill the kitchen doorway.

  “N-no, of course not.”

  “Can I come in?”

  I nod slightly as he steps in, uncertainly. He glances at the counter, where we had quite an enjoyable physical encounter, then tears his gaze away, as if he couldn’t bear the thought of us going at it like animals.

  He can’t bear it? What does that say about me then, if I happily work right next to it every day?

  “I’ve asked Evan if he wants to come to the match tomorrow. Is that okay?”

  “I guess so.”

  “And I thought that…maybe…you know…I have another ticket, and he told me that none of his friends are interested.”

  “Uh-huh.”

  “I was wondering – if you can get a few hours off work tomorrow – maybe you wanted to…I dunno…come along too?”

  “M-me?”

  “Okay, I got it.” He turns to leave.

  “Wait!”

  “I don’t know why I asked.”

  “Do you really want to…invite me?” I ask, shocked, and terrified that he’ll take it back.

  He shrugs.

  “I’ve never been to a match before.”

  “You might like it.”

  I smile a little, but inside I feel like jumping for joy.

  “I’m sure I could ask Vic to cover my shift for a few hours.”

  “Perfect,” he says, finally smiling himself. “I’ll give the tickets to Evan.”

  “Okay.”

  “I’ll let you get back to work.”

  He leaves the kitchen, and the oxygen finally makes its way back into my lungs.

  “You’re burning everything.” A voice behind me makes me jump out of my skin.

  “What the hell are you doing back here? Were you spying on me?”

  Vic lifts her hands innocently.

  “I was smoking out the back.”

  I narrow my eyes at her.

  “It’s true!”

  I shake my head and ignore her, starting to plate up the food.

  “This thing…”

  “I don’t want to talk about it.”

  “How long has it been going on?”

  “It hasn’t even started.”

  “But he came in here, out the back, and asked you…”

  “Oh, for God’s sake, Vic! It’s none of your business, okay?”

  Vic looks at me for a few moments, then raises her hands again and walks off, leaving me alone with my doubt and my guilt.

  Me and Vic have known each other our whole lives, and I’ve always told her everything. But I don’t want to talk to her about Ryan: I want to keep it to myself, with no one to judge me. That way, when he breaks my heart, no one can say ‘I told you so’.

  This thing between me and him – and I’ll admit that it really is something – has to stay private. I have no intention of bringing it out in the open: not before understanding for myself what it really is.

  44

  Ryan

  “Do you need to throw up?” Jamie bends down to talk to me while I’m lacing up my boots.

  “What the hell do you want?”

  “You’re as white as a sheet.”

  I straighten myself up and stand in front of him.

  “Don’t you have anyone else to take the piss out of?”

  “Mmm…nope. It’s your turn today.”

  “Today?”

  He flashes me a goofy smile. “You’re my favourite.”

  I shake my head and chuck my bag down onto the floor, but he won’t budge.

  “You’re getting on my nerves.”

  “Am I making you nervous?”

  “Who’s nervous?” Ian latches himself onto the conversation.

  “Are you two a couple now or something?”

  Jamie looks at Ian, then turns back to me.

  “Nah, he’s not my type. But stop changing the subject.”

  “Why? Were we talking about something?”

  “Sure – how nervous you are.”

  “I’m not nervous. Or at least I wasn’t, until the world’s most beautiful couple made their appearance.”

  “What’s up? Stage fright?”

  “Don’t be stupid.”

  “It’s not like it’s the first time you’ve been played since the first minute.”

  “I’m not nervous, like I told you.”

  “Oh, hang on,” Ian says, taking his phone out from the pocket of his hoodie.

  “Shouldn’t you be putting that away by now?” Jamie says.

  Ian flips him his middle finger and answers the phone, taking a few steps away from us.

  “So…”

  “Shut up, Jamie.”

  “Oh, really?” Ian raises his voice and gives me a look. “Well, well…little Ryan,” he says, hanging up and coming back over to us. “So, we have an audience today…”

  “What?” My voice is strained.

  “Audience?” Jamie asks excitedly.

  “Looks like Ryan’s invited someone…”

  Fuck.

  “Who? Let’s hear it…”

  “A woman…” Ian starts.

  “So, this is your business now?” I interrupt him.

  “Hey, your business is my business.”

  “It shouldn’t be.”

  “That was Riley, she just bumped into Chris in the stands.”

  “Who’s Chris?” Jamie asks, turning to me.

  “No one.”

  Jamie crosses his arms. “Do you want me to call a team meeting and tell everyone that you’ve invited a woman to the game?”


  If he wasn’t our captain, I’d have knocked his teeth out by now.

  “I invited her son, and I had a spare ticket, so…”

  “Son? How old is this friend of yours?”

  “Thirty-two,” Ian answers for me.

  “So you like an older woman…?”

  “Can you just drop it?”

  “And how old is this son?”

  “Sixteen,” Ian pipes up again.

  Jamie looks at me, his eyebrows raised in surprise.

  “Okay, so what?”

  “Boys! Let’s go!” The assistant coach saves me from my embarrassment.

  I stride past them without making eye contact, but Jamie grabs hold of my arm. “We’re not done here.”

  I roll my eyes and head for the changing room door. If I thought I was nervous before, I’m actually about to throw up now. The thought of her being in the crowd wasn’t enough – apparently, I needed their comments to douse me in anxiety, too.

  Okay, so I invited her. Her son was coming along, she was on her own…What’s wrong with that?

  Nothing, that’s what. It’s not a big deal. It’s just a match, end of story.

  So why, when I step out onto the field and join the others in the centre, do I glance over to the stands and smile like an idiot when I see her bright red hair lighting up the row?

  * * *

  “Hey, bro. You need to invite people to watch you play more often,” Ian says during half time, poking me playfully.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “Nothing, you’re just more enthusiastic, more…more motivated, that’s it.”

  “Don’t bullshit, I’m always motivated.”

  “No Ryan, you’re never motivated. You play to win, like we all do, but you never have the right motivation. At least, not until today.”

  “Don’t start sticking your nose into my life, Ian. It’s nothing, okay?”

  “Fine, it’s nothing. But I like this nothing, and clearly so do you,” he wiggles his eyebrows at me before heading towards the guys to talk about tactics. I take another two minutes to breathe, to try and control the thoughts pulsing aimlessly around my mind. Because I’ve lost my way, and I have no idea how to get back on the right track.

  We head back out onto the field, ready to fight to the end and bring home the victory. I instinctively glance towards the stands again, where Christine and Evan are chatting animatedly – I can see it even from here.