Loving Luke: (Cookies and Kisses) (A Christmas Novella)

by Cecelia Dowdy

  She’d baked these cookies to take to the homeless shelter. At church, the pastor had said that the local homeless shelter had been lacking with funds. She’d given money for the special collection they’d taken on the shelter’s behalf. After church, she’d contacted the shelter and offered to bring cookies. The shelter director had been delighted, stating that they seldom had desserts to give to their guests.

  She’d also wanted to take some of these cookies over to Luke so that they could finish last night’s conversation, but, she didn’t think it was a good idea to just barge over to his place on a Sunday morning, bearing a hot plate of cookies. She had no idea where he worshipped and she knew that Lisa was going to be at the slumber party until after lunch, so, she figured she’d have a chance to talk to him alone.

  “Kim, do you hear me talking to you?”

  “Yes, Dad.” Taking a spatula, she slid it underneath a cookie, setting it on a cooling rack. She continued her chore, explaining about the homeless shelter. “So, I’m going to be heading over there shortly.” Her dad still sounded like he had a cold, but, he did sound a bit better. “How are you feeling?”

  He shrugged. “Just a cold. Will be gone soon. Look, about Luke—”

  “I don’t want to talk about Luke.” Luke was none of her dad’s business. She was an adult now, not some wild teenager who refused to listen to her parents. She could make her own decisions.

  “Now, listen to me, Little Girl, I’m your father. I’m older than you and I know more about these things than you do.”

  Kim rolled her eyes, plopping the dough for another batch of vanilla cookies onto the cookie sheet. She performed her chore quickly, before shoving the pan into the hot oven. She resisted the urge to yell and scream at her dad. Luke had hinted about their dating last night, if she understood him correctly. If she did date him, officially, what would her dad think? She’d spent half the night thinking about what Luke had said about her moving back home, desperate to gain her father’s approval. Was she really that desperate to gain her father’s love?

  “Maybe you need to talk to Tina about this. She always knew how to pick respectable men to date.”

  “Dad, stop it already!” Her voice rang throughout the warm kitchen and her dad backed away a few steps, his dark eyes widening.

  “How dare you raise your voice at me?”

  Kim swallowed, suddenly filled with shame. She had not yelled at her father like that since she’d been a wild, rebellious teenager. Anger and fury filled her soul. Hot tears coursed down her cheeks and she brushed the moisture away. More tears came and before she knew it she cried, howling. Her shoulders shook and she finally plopped into the kitchen chair. Her dad’s shuffling feet sounded behind her and he sat at the table with her. He pulled her into his arms, and Kim cried into his bathrobe, sniffing the familiar aromatic scent of his lime aftershave. She cried for several minutes and when the oven timer buzzed, she put her oven mitts on and removed the pan of hot cookies from the oven. She didn’t bother placing them on the cooling rack. She returned to the table where her dad patiently sat, waiting for her.

  She dropped into a chair, consumed with exhaustion. Her sleepless night was catching up to her. Last night, Luke had mentioned being honest and open, well, that’s what she was going to do right now. She was going to be honest with her dad and then, she would go visit Luke before she took her vanilla cookies to the homeless shelter. She took deep breaths, blew her nose, and forced herself to calm down. She needed to clear the air with her father, that’s what she needed to do.

  Her dad cleared his throat, leaned back into the chair, and folded his arms in front of him. “Are you going to tell me what all that crying was about?”

  She nodded, folded her hands in front of her. Lord, help her. She really needed God’s help right now. “Dad, I hate it when you do that.”

  “Do what?” He raised his hands into the air, as if he were surrendering after a battle.

  “I hate it when you compare me to Tina. Why on earth would I call Tina to ask about dating Luke?”

  “Are you seriously dating Luke Barnes?” Her dad stood up, his hands balled into fists.

  She needed to stay focused. This conversation would be going nowhere if they kept changing topics. “This isn’t about Luke. This is about you, me, and Tina.”

  He shrugged, returned to his chair. “Well, what about us?”

  “Dad, I hate it when you compare me to Tina. You make it seem like Tina is so great, and I’m just an afterthought.”

  “What?” Her dad seemed truly puzzled. She really had to spell this out for him.

  “When Tina calls you, it makes you happy. Tina is married to a doctor. She has a nice perfect family. You think Tina’s life is perfect and you think my life stinks.”

  “Whoa. Little Girl, you’re way off base—”

  “No, I’m not. When Tina calls you, you get in a better mood. When I’m here and when I used to call you, you never sounded as happy as when you talk to Tina. You always have something negative to say to me. Not once have you told me that you were grateful about my moving back home to help with the bakery. I’m starting to wonder if you even want me here.”

  Her father scooted toward her, took her hand. “Honey, I want you here, with me. But I don’t want you to stay unless you really want to. I know you have your degree and all and sooner or later, you’ll probably return to your accounting profession.” He paused, continued holding her hands. “I just have a hard time…well, you used to be so wild, making bad decisions. Tina was never like that.”

  “Tina’s made mistakes too Dad and you know it.” Her words were met with silence. “But you seem to think that Tina’s a better person than me, and it hurts me when you imply that Tina is better.” When Tina had gone away to college, she’d gotten her first serious boyfriend. She’d gotten pregnant, but, she’d suffered a late-term miscarriage. The family never spoke about that awful time, and she’d always felt that her dad had simply swept it under the rug, as if it never happened, not wanting to recall that Tina wasn’t so perfect after all.

  When her dad sat there, mute, Kim figured he wasn’t going to say anything. “I’m going to box up my cookies to take to the homeless shelter.” She stood up.

  “Little Girl. Wait.” She stopped, paused, before she returned to the table. “Maybe I do act as if Tina is better, but, it’s not for the reasons that you think.”

  “Well, why then?”

  He paused before he stood up. “I’ll be right back.” He returned a few minutes later with an old, battered photo album.

  Kim frowned, staring at the cracked leather. “I’ve never seen that before.”

  “It’s up in my bedroom. I don’t take it out too much.” He opened it, pointed to an old picture. “That’s Tina.”

  Kim leaned forward to get a closer look at the child. The child looked exactly like Tina. “This can’t be Tina, Dad, this picture is too old.”

  He shook his head. “I don’t mean your sister Tina. That’s Tina, my sister.”

  “You have a sister?” Kim swallowed, stunned. “Dad, you never mentioned her before.”

  “She died when she was eleven. Had problems with her heart. We were so close. It’s still hard for me to talk about her. When Tina, your sister, was born, well, that’s why I named her Tina, after my dead sister. I then noticed how much she looked like Tina, she even walks and sounds like my sister.” He sniffed, and Kim realized her dad was crying. He dried his tears on the sleeve of his tattered robe. “Just reminds me of the sister that I lost is all. Tina does.” He sighed. “I don’t talk about my dead sister because it hurts. I see that my reaction to Tina bothers you, hurts you, Little Girl, and that makes me sad. There’s so much about you that makes me proud.”

  This was a surprise. “Really? Like what?”

  He sighed, wiped his wet eyes. “I’m proud that you’re a CPA. I’m proud that you were out there in Chicago, that big city, living on your own. Tina was always kind of delicate to me. I
’d never imagine her striking out in the big city like you. You were always tougher than your sister.” He cleared his throat. “From now on, I’ll make sure that I’m more sensitive about how I treat the both of you. Both you and Tina are my girls and I love both of you.” He paused, took her hand. “Now, about Luke.”

  “Oh, Dad.” She didn’t want to talk about Luke. She needed to let her dad know about what she’d been through almost one year ago. “Do you remember when I was dating Bill? I’d mentioned him to you and mom last Christmas.”

  Her father nodded. “Yeah, I remember your mentioning him, but you never brought him home with you.” He shrugged. “You’d said that things didn’t work out between the two of you.”

  “Well, what I failed to tell you was that I was engaged to him.”

  “Engaged?” Her dad raised his eyebrows, leaned back into his chair.

  Instead of talking about her feelings for Luke, they spent the next hour, Kim openly telling her dad about her brief engagement last Christmas, and about how it had all ended so suddenly.

  Chapter 8

  Luke sped past the oak tree, revving his motorcycle. The cold wind whipped around him, and he had to really struggle to maintain the speed limit. He left his neighborhood, riding onto the main road before entering the highway. Revving his engine, he let loose, going as fast as he was allowed on the open road. It was an early Sunday morning and traffic was light on the main highway.

  Since Lisa was away at her slumber party, he’d had the luxury of enjoying a Sunday morning motorcycle ride. He’d overslept and missed church, but, he’d spent some quiet time with the Lord that morning, praying about his situation with Kim. After riding for an hour, he finally returned to Bethlehem, and minutes later, he pulled onto his familiar street. He passed the corner of his street, his house was just ahead. He breathed deeply, white puffs of breath coming from his mouth in the frigid cold air. Since it was cloudy, several people had turned on their Christmas lights and the multi-colored bulbs winked in the cloudy day.

  A car pulled to his curb. He glanced over and spotted Kim’s vehicle. Hopefully, she wasn’t still mad at him about what he’d said about her relationship with her dad. He parked his bike, removed his helmet, before walking toward Kim’s car. He opened her door for her.

  She looked pretty, refreshing. But, she also looked tired. Dark circles were beneath her eyes, and her hair was pulled back into a sleek ponytail. “Thanks for opening the door for me.”

  He nodded. “You’re welcome.” At least she didn’t appear to be mad at him anymore.

  She reached over to the passenger seat and removed a box. He sniffed. Smelled like cookies. He could use a snack right now. He didn’t have to pick up Lisa for a few hours, so, they could relax and finish the conversation they’d started the previous night.

  She gave him the box, exited the car before slamming her door shut. She remained silent, so, he gestured toward the house. “Come on in.” They walked to his door and he unlocked it. He went into the kitchen, set the box on the table. Kim glanced at the carton of eggs and the pack of bacon he’d left on the counter. “Looks like you were about to cook breakfast.”

  He chuckled. “More like I was going to try to make breakfast food for lunch. I love bacon, but, I always burn it. I can make scrambled eggs if I concentrate. Lisa said my scrambled eggs look more brown than yellow.”

  She hesitated, touched the carton of eggs and the package of bacon. “I haven’t had lunch yet. Do you mind if I fixed the food and we ate together?” She didn’t look at him when she asked, just kept staring at the carton of eggs. She seemed nervous, and he figured she might feel bad for yelling at him the previous night. It was hard to tell.

  “I don’t mind.” As a matter of fact, he felt like getting down on his knees and thanking God for answering his prayer. He’d been worried about Kim all night, but, had hesitated to call. He figured he wouldn’t be seeing her again until he went to pick up Lisa at the bakery the next day.

  Kim pulled out his big frying pan and minutes later, the delicious, meaty scent of bacon filled the kitchen. He started a pot of coffee, removed milk and juice from the refrigerator. He set the bowl of sugar on the table. Both of them remained silent, but, it was more a silence of comfort. For some reason, Luke figured Kim wanted to talk about something, but, she’d start talking when she was ready. After he’d placed everything on the table, including toast with butter, he sat down, watched Kim’s shapely backside as she fried the meat.

  Goodness, she was beautiful. Just seeing her in his warm kitchen, making him a meal…filled him with happiness. He could get used to seeing her every night, making dinner in his kitchen. He honestly didn’t know if she’d be open to having a relationship with him, but, he certainly hoped she’d at least let him try. His attraction to her proved too strong to ignore, and he didn’t know if she shared his deep feelings.

  She placed napkins onto a plate and put the cooked bacon onto the napkins so that the grease could drain from the meat. After she’d scrambled their eggs, he stood and got the bacon, brought it to the table. She soon followed with the plate of cooked eggs. They bowed their heads, and he took her hand, caressed her fingers. Still nervous, he wanted to be sure he prayed before his meal, as he usually did, but, wanted her to know that he wanted the Lord to intervene, make her feel better. He cleared this throat, still holding her hand. “Lord, please be with Kim. I know she was upset last night and I just want her to feel better. I want her to be happy Lord. Thank you for this meal that You’ve provided for us and thanks Lord, for Kim’s company. It was a blessing when she showed up at my door this morning. Amen.”

  “Amen.”

  He released her hand and they dug into the food. They ate silently, and Luke gobbled his food, thinking the last time he’d had a meal that tasted this good was when he’d taken Lisa out to breakfast at the Waffle House a few weeks ago. After they’d finished consuming their meal, they sipped coffee. Kim opened up her box of cookies and the delicious scent of vanilla floated from the box. He took one of the thin, crisp, heart-shaped cookies, bit into it. The taste of vanilla exploded into his mouth and he gobbled two cookies before focusing on his coffee. “Those cookies are good.”

  “Thanks. It’s my mom’s recipe. I think about her whenever I make them.”

  Once they’d finished with their coffee and cookies, Luke beckoned Kim into the living room. He raised the blinds. The day remained cloudy and the Christmas lights continued blinking from the homes across the street. He sat beside her on the couch, resisting the urge to hold her hand. He figured she was probably ready to talk. “I’m sorry for yelling at you last night.”

  He nodded. “I was worried about you.”

  She blinked, looked at him, her dark eyes apprehensive. “You were?”

  “Yes. What did your father say after I left?”

  She told him about the conversation she’d had with her father that morning. The news was stunning. “When he told me about his dead sister, I was shocked.”

  “I’m shocked. At least it explains why he seems to favor Tina over you.” He paused, not sure if he should mention this, but, felt he needed to know. “Do you think your relationship with your father will change now?”

  She chewed her lower lip, glancing at the Christmas lights winking from the homes across the street. “I think so. I’m not saying that things will be perfect, but, I think things will be better.”

  “Thank God for that.”

  “I also wanted you to talk to you about us seeing each other.”

  “You mean dating?” She nodded. Her pretty mouth drooped with sadness. “Kim, why are you so sad? You don’t want to spend time with me?” If she didn’t want to date him, then he would simply need to understand and move on with his life. It would be difficult for him to do since Kim constantly dominated his thoughts, haunting his dreams.

  “I’m concerned about how things ended between us eight years ago.”

  “Whoa, Honey, don’t go there. We were both yo
ung, immature, and we didn’t know the Lord back then.”

  She shook her head, looked directly at him. “In spite of all that, I need to know why you left me eight years ago without even saying good bye. I looked for you, couldn’t find you. I was hurting for a long time before I forced myself to realize that our relationship meant nothing to you.”

  “Kim, I’m so sorry.”

  “I don’t want your apology. I just want to know what happened. Before I agree to date you, this is something that I need to know.” She pressed her hands together, closed her pretty eyes. “Like I’ve mentioned before, a little less than a year ago, I went through a pretty bad breakup.”

  “What happened?” She’d never shared the details with him, although he’d often wondered.

  She shook her head, her mouth mashed down in anger. “I don’t want to talk about that now. I just want you to know that my trust in my ex was broken. I can forgive him, but, I can’t forget about what happened.” She looked directly into his eyes again. “My whole point is, I’m leery about dating right now, and before we can move forward, I need answers to my questions.”

  He leaned forward, rested his elbows on his thighs, and dropped his forehead into his hands. Lord, I really need your help here. He needed to tell her the truth. “Remember when your family went on vacation one week during the summer?”

  “Yes, I remember.”

  “I went to a party with some of my friends, got drunk, ended up sleeping with Salina, and got her pregnant. When she started showing—”

  “She let everybody know that you were the father of her baby and I refused to believe her.”