“I know you heard my pops tell you to leave,” Ty barked, stepping up to Andris and letting him see that he was strapped, giving him a final warning to bounce.
Just like the punk that he was, Andris turned to leave. It didn’t surprise me at all, because most men who hit females never stepped to a man in the same manner. My blood was boiling by now, and I wished his ass had shown up at the house instead of at my sister’s burial. The nerve of his ass, showing up here, but he knew exactly what he was doing, and trust me, he was still going to get two to the head. Every dog got his day, and his days were numbered. I was counting them down.
When it was over and my sister was being lowered into the ground, my mother had a breakdown. She had been strong up until this point. Her breakdown caused me to break down with her. I didn’t want to be strong anymore. I wanted my sister back, and I didn’t care how I looked to anyone as I sat on the ground and rocked back and forth, crying my eyes out. I felt someone rubbing my back as they helped me to my feet, attempting to calm me. I looked up, wiped my eyes, and I would have never thought that it would be Tamia who had come to comfort me.
“I know this isn’t easy, Jakiyah, and I’m not going to say it will get better, because I don’t know that it will. But what I will say is that she’s in the arms of God now, and she will be okay. You have to be strong for her daughter, whom she left behind,” she said, rubbing my back and walking with me over to the limo.
Did her words offer me comfort? No, they didn’t, because the fact remained that my sister was gone, and she wasn’t coming back. Ty came to help me into the limo. I whispered a thank-you to Tamia before entering the car. The ride back to the house was quiet, other than my mother’s cries. My dad was the first to break the silence when he spoke to my brother, but I just laid my head back and closed my eyes, thinking about my sister and how my life as I knew it had taken a drastic turn.
Chapter Five
Tyhiem
Seeing my mom and sister break down at the burial had me feeling like shit. Then this sucker-ass nigga showed up, disrespecting my sister as she was being laid to rest, and I couldn’t even put two in his fucking head. I was pissed that he was able to walk away with his life, and the only thing that made me feel somewhat better was the fact that his ass was going to be dead sooner than later, and I put my life on that.
After we dropped Jakiyah off, German drove by Andris’s mother’s house to see if his ass had bounced to her place, but we sat out there for about an hour, with no movement going in or out of the house, so we bounced. I knew that his ass would be laying low somewhere, but I promise you that I was not going to rest until his ass was dead and stinking.
I didn’t want to be alone, so I called up Chanel. She was a chick I’d been kicking it with for over a year now. I wasn’t ready to settle down, so I had a few females whom I called up when I wanted to smash, but Chanel was my main chick, and I fucked with her on a regular. When German dropped me at my crib, I dapped him up and thanked him for the ride and for holding a nigga down.
I headed inside and took a shower right away. When I was done showering, I put on a pair of basketball shorts and a beater and then chilled on the couch, watching a Martin rerun, while I waited on shorty. I also made sure to call my dad to check on my mom and my sister; he said that they were both sleeping. He told me that he knew I was feeling some kind of way about not being able to handle the earlier situation with Andris, and how right he was. Chanel was at my door, so I told my pops I loved him and ended the call. I really didn’t want to talk about Andris, because all it was going to do was piss me off even more.
“What’s up, shorty?” I asked as I let her in.
“I’m good. How are you feeling? I wish you would have let me be there for you,” she said.
“Chanel, my head space was and still is in a fucked-up place, and at that time, I just wanted to be there for my family. You’re here now, so it’s all good,” I explained, then kissed her lips. “What do you have in the bag?” I asked her after noticing the bag in her arms. I took it from her and headed for the kitchen.
“Just some groceries so that I can bless you with a meal before we chill for the night,” she said and smiled.
“Let me find out you’ve got some skills in the kitchen,” I said to her as I placed the bag on the kitchen counter.
“Ty, there’s a lot you don’t know about me, because for the past year, you haven’t been trying to know me on that level. You only reach out when you’re in need of some pussy,” she responded, seriously causing me to have second thoughts about calling her ass.
Just what I didn’t want, and that was to have this same conversation that we always ended up having. Today was really not the day for it, since I had just buried my sister. I knew Chanel deserved more, and I didn’t deny that, but I’d been honest with her about not being ready to settle down, so why couldn’t she just respect the shit? I wasn’t forcing her to accept what I had to offer right now; she wanted to be here, so she just needed to let this shit rock the way it had been rocking.
“I’m sorry, Ty. I didn’t mean to be all in my feelings when you’ve got your own shit going on,” she said, apologizing.
“Don’t sweat it. It’s all good,” I replied, walking out of the kitchen and letting her do her thing.
I wasn’t going to lie and say that I wasn’t feeling shorty, because I was, but these bitches be fake as hell, showing you what they thought you wanted to see, until you wifed the bitch. My ex, Shayla, had really fucked a nigga up as far as trying to wife another chick. She had been everything a nigga wanted until we became exclusive and she started smashing everything moving, just like a nigga would. Had my ass checking to see if I still had a fucking penis the way that bitch was playing me, and I was still trying to be with her. So it was hard trying to be exclusive with Chanel and to make her wifey. She didn’t understand, because I had yet to tell her what had happened with my ex that left me with trust issues.
Twenty minutes later, I went back into the kitchen. “You good?” I asked her, walking up on her, grabbing her from behind.
“Just about done. Are you ready to eat?” she asked, turning to face me, with a smirk on her face.
“I’m always ready to eat,” I responded, pulling her close, kissing her, and slipping my tongue into her mouth.
I felt kind of fucked up after leaving the kitchen the way that I had. She didn’t deserve that, and it was her right to express how she felt. It was just bad timing, but she had apologized, so I shouldn’t have been rude. I thought she was going to give me the cold shoulder now, but she didn’t. She must have really meant her apology, and that was another thing that I liked about her. She always owned up to it when she was wrong, and she was able to move on, without dwelling on issues. I had gone back into the kitchen to let her know that we were really good and that I accepted her apology.
After a few minutes, she broke the kiss and whined about finishing dinner. She knew that once I got started, dinner was a wrap. I wanted to let her finish cooking, but she had got a nigga’s dick hard as hell, so I said, “Fuck dinner.” She turned off the stove, and we headed to the bedroom to make it do what it do.
Chapter Six
Jakiyah
One month later . . .
I didn’t realize I’d slept so long; I’d been doing that a lot lately. I was sad to say that I had moved back to New York, and for the past month, I had been doing nothing but sleeping. I wouldn’t say that I was depressed, but I would say that I didn’t have the drive to do anything but sleep, and that would soon need to change. I was still living at my mother’s house, sleeping in my old bedroom, when I should have had my own place by now. I really missed living on my own.
After brushing my teeth and washing my face, I walked downstairs and instantly caught an attitude, as I saw Tamia sitting on my mom’s beige lounge chair, holding baby Andrea. Tamia had been over here just about every other day, and it was starting to annoy me, really getting on my nerves. Granted, this was som
ething she had done before I moved back, but it was still annoying as hell. However, don’t get me wrong; I did appreciate her. She had provided that companionship that my mother didn’t have from either of her daughters. I got it, but I was here now.
I continued to the kitchen. I wasn’t trying to be rude, but I wasn’t in a speaking mood, so I opted out of speaking. Knowing my mother, I should have just spoken, because she followed me into the kitchen, and I really wasn’t prepared for the tongue-lashing that I knew was coming.
“Jakiyah, I know you saw that we have company, and that was rude of you not to speak,” she said, chastising me.
“I wasn’t trying to be rude, but it’s kind of annoying that she’s always here. I feel like every time I turn around, I’m bumping into her,” I argued in my defense.
“Jakiyah, she’s here because I invited her. I enjoy her company,” she retorted, with a frown on her face.
“Well, I’m here now. Do you really need to have her visiting all the time? I hardly get any time with my niece because she always has her,” I said, pouting.
“Are you sure this is about me and not about the fact that she’s German girlfriend?” she asked, giving me the side eye.
“No, Mom, this has nothing to do with German. He and I had a conversation, and we’re cool. I can honestly say that we are just friends,” I responded, the irritation evident in my voice.
“Are you sure?” she repeated, pushing what she believed the truth to be.
“I’m sure,” I said, slamming down the pot that I was going to use to boil my eggs.
She just looked at me, shook her head, and exited the kitchen. I hadn’t meant to upset her, but she had upset me with her accusations. She needed to tell Tamia that her companionship was no longer needed. Just as my eggs were ready to be removed from the pot, the unwanted guest walked into the kitchen and sat at the table like she had been invited to invade my space.
“Jakiyah, what do you have against me?” she asked, with a roll of her eyes, making me want to punch her ass in the throat.
“Tamia, trust, if I had something against you, I would have no problem addressing it,” I responded, with a roll of my eyes too.
“Well, I heard you talking to your mother, and clearly, you expressed that you have a problem with me being here. German is here just about as much as I am, but I didn’t hear you mention him being here too much,” she spat, getting in her feelings.
“Okay, and you said that to say what?” I asked, confused, because if she had heard what I said to my mother, then she already knew what the fuck the matter was. And if that was the case, what was she mentioning German for? She was sitting there, trying to make it about German, when I was not thinking about German’s ass. It seemed as if she wanted to see where my head was at when it came to him, but she could keep shopping, because I wasn’t buying.
“Well, whatever your reason is for not wanting me here, the fact still remains that your mother loves my company. Until she tells me otherwise, what you think really doesn’t matter.”
“Bitch, get your life. Matter of fact, get the fuck out my face, because if it didn’t matter, you wouldn’t have come in here with the bullshit,” I yelled at her.
“Why you mad? Calling me out of my name for what?” She smiled as she walked out of the kitchen, pleased that she had got a rise out of me.
Stupid bitch, I said to myself, upset that I had let her take me there, because that was what she had wanted to do.
I heard the front door open and then close, and I had a feeling she was going to be a problem with her crazy-looking ass. My mother entered the kitchen again, with a displeased look on her face, and honestly, I really wasn’t in the mood to hear it right now.
“What happened, Jakiyah? Tamia left out upset, so what did you say? I only sent her in here to get a bottle for Andrea,” she said to me.
“She came in here questioning me about what I said to you, and I told her,” I answered, getting a little upset with my mother.
“Jakiyah, you may not like her, but not having you or your sister to talk to really put me in a state of loneliness, and Tamia has been heaven-sent over this past year. But if it bothers you that much, I will ask her not to visit so much,” she said sadly, as if it was going to hurt her not to see that freak.
“Mom, that won’t be necessary. I’m going to be finding my own place, so I won’t be here much longer,” I said, not addressing my past absence due to the guilt I felt.
“What do you mean, find your own place? Jakiyah, I don’t want you to leave. You just got here, and we have more than enough room.” She was on the verge of tears, which caused me to feel bad.
“Mom, I’m twenty-seven-years old. I don’t need to be still living at home with my parents. I promise that I will find a place not too far from here and will visit as much as I can. That’s if your little friend Tamia stops visiting so much,” I said.
“Chile, I just told you that I’m going to have her not visit as much, but me wanting you to stay has nothing to do with her. I want you here because I miss you, and you haven’t been back long enough to be leaving me so soon.”
“I know, Mom, but you do know that I can’t stay living with you forever. Eventually, I’m going to start dating again, and inviting a man home to my childhood twin bed isn’t going to work,” I said and laughed.
“I know, baby. I’m just not ready for you to leave, because you just got back,” she repeated, then hugged me before leaving the kitchen and getting back to my niece.
“Jakiyah, I forgot the bottle, and I need for you to come and change Andrea for me,” she shouted from the living room a few seconds later.
After I fed and changed Andrea, I put her down for a nap. Then I went upstairs to wash and get dressed because I was meeting up with my childhood friend Yessenia.
Chapter Seven
Jakiyah
I pulled up to Yessenia’s house in the rental that I had been driving for the past month. I was supposed to be meeting up with Ty later on so he could take me to a dealership to get a car. Driving someone else’s car was for the birds, and paying 198 dollars a week for a car that didn’t belong to me wasn’t worth it. Yessenia was standing in the door, waiting on me. She hadn’t changed a bit; she was still as pretty as I remembered, and looked like a younger version of Zulay Henao. Yessenia and I had been friends since our freshman year of high school. I had really missed her and didn’t realize how much until right now.
I climbed out of the rental and walked to her door. “Hey,” I said, hugging her before walking inside.
Yessenia had done really well for herself; her place was beautiful. Her living-room walls were a light green, with burnt-orange borders. Now, I would have never mixed those two colors, but she had blended them well with her lime-green living-room furniture and some polka-dot pillows that matched the walls. After admiring her beautiful home, I took a seat on the sofa to get caught up.
“So, how have you been? I’m sorry I wasn’t able to make it to the funeral. I really felt bad that I was out of town at the time. Are you settled in?” she asked me.
“Girl, I have yet to do anything. I haven’t had the strength. All I’ve done is let my job know that I won’t be returning. And don’t worry about missing the funeral. I know that if you had been here, you would have come. And I do apologize for not being up to seeing you until now,” I told her.
“So, do you have any idea when you’re going back to Georgia to wrap things up?”
“Hell, no, but I’m going to go back soon, because my lease is up at the end of the month. I need to go and put my things in storage and sell my car. I’m going to the dealership today for a new one. Mom is not trying to hear me about finding my own place. I told her that I couldn’t live with her forever.”
We both laughed, because she knew how my mother was.
“I saw your mom a few months ago with some chick who was acting as if she was your mom’s bodyguard when I walked over to say hello.”
“That must
have been German’s girlfriend. Girl, she and I just got into it this morning about her being at my mother’s house so much.”
“That chick just rubbed me the wrong way, so you better watch her ass,” she said.
“I just hope that she’s overly friendly when it comes to my mother and is not on no bullshit. As much as I like my freedom, you know how I am when it comes to my family.”
“I feel you. Anyway, what’s up with German?” she asked me.
“Well, you know how we ended, but we did have a conversation and agreed that there were no hard feelings. He moved on, and I’m still stuck in neutral, but it’s all good.”
“I thought you and German’s ass were going to get married.” She laughed.
“Yeah, you and I both, but it wasn’t in the cards for us. I wish him all the best, with his stalking my mother–ass girlfriend.” I laughed.
“Do you remember Qua from Forest Hills?” she asked me, smiling.
“If you’re talking about my high school boo, you know I will never forget his ass.” I smiled at the thought of him.
“Well, he’s single, and he and Keem started hanging out again. So, since you’ve moved back, let me set something up,” she said, putting on the puppy dog face.
Just thinking about Qua had me blushing. He’d been so fine back in the day, and if he was still fine, he could get it. “When you say set some shit up, what do you have in mind?” I asked her.
“Keem and Qua are on their way here. We’re just going to get reacquainted,” she revealed.
“Yessenia, why didn’t you give me the heads-up on the phone? I would have dressed for this damn reunion,” I said, brushing my hair down with my hands.
“Girl, you look exactly the same. The only difference is you’re stacked now,” she joked.
I knew my body, face, and hair were on point. What I meant was I wouldn’t have shown up in a Love Pink Victoria’s Secret hooded sweat suit with some damn sneakers.
I looked cute, but, shit, when you were seeing an ex after a long time, you wanted to be top-model cute. My nerves were now all over the place as the anticipation of them walking through the door was getting the best of me. I had to ask Yessenia to get me a drink, just to calm my nerves. I was chilling on the couch, sipping my drink, when Yessenia came running from the window, screaming that they were here. I jumped up so fast and ran up the stairs, almost busting my ass, with Yessenia laughing at me. I went into the bathroom and paced like a damn teenager about to go to her senior prom.
He Used to Love Me Page 3