Qua was my first crush in high school, and just like now, my ass had always been scared to approach him, until I had no choice. Back then, Yessenia had tricked me into going with her to Keem’s house, saying she was just going to pick up some money. She had said that once she got the money, which she was going to spend on getting her hair done, we would leave, but she’d lied. Qua had been there, waiting on me, because she had told him I was feeling him. I swear, I almost pissed on myself when we walked inside Keem’s house and he was sitting, there looking fine as hell, still in his basketball uniform. Yessenia had to push me to walk over to him, and truth be told, I expected him to be stuck up, but once he spoke and I started talking to him, I learned that he was nothing like the other players.
He was down to earth, so I relaxed a little and opened up. I really had expected him to kick game just to get in my panties, but he was the complete opposite of his teammates. We dated throughout high school, and it wasn’t until about a year and a half after graduation that we broke up. He was away at Davidson College in North Carolina, on a basketball scholarship, and I was still in New York, attending York College. The long-distance relationship wasn’t working for either of us, so we agreed to part ways, but the truth was that I agreed only because he had mentioned it first. He didn’t get drafted into the NBA because of an injury, and when he returned home, I had already moved on and was in a relationship with German.
“Jakiyah, are you okay up there?” I heard Yessenia yell up the stairs.
I looked in the mirror and made sure my hair looked okay. I was so nervous and really wasn’t ready to see him again. I swear, had I been dressed better, I wouldn’t be as nervous, but I knew I had to suck it up and take my ass downstairs. I felt my heart beating fast as I descended the stairs, counting the steps in my head, trying not to fall down them. Qua was still standing when I walked into the living room. He was still as fine as I remembered. The only thing different about him was that he was rocking a goatee. He still had a muscular, thin build. He was wearing sweatpants with a T-shirt, and it looked like he and Keem had just finished playing basketball.
“Hey, stranger. You’re still looking good,” Qua said, pulling me in for a hug.
Damn, he still wore Dolce & Gabbana Light Blue, and it was still as intoxicating as I remembered. I held on to him a little longer than I needed to.
“Can I get some love?” Keem asked, then laughed as I walked over to him. “How are you doing? I’m sorry to hear about Cydney,” he said.
“Thank you. I’m doing somewhat better,” I lied.
“How long are you in town?” Qua questioned.
“I have moved back and am staying at my parents’ house right now,” I answered.
“That’s cool. Look, I need to go home and shower, but how about you give me your number so I can give you a call later?” he said, causing me to smile on the inside.
Yessenia’s crazy ass was in the kitchen doorway, doing the happy dance, being silly. I put my number into Qua’s phone, and he promised to call me tonight. After giving me a hug good-bye, he left. I joined Yessenia in the kitchen, and we were both jumping up and down like we had hit the lottery. Keem just stood there watching us.
“Both of you are crazy. I’m going to take a shower. Good to see you again, Jakiyah,” Keem announced, then left us and went upstairs.
I stayed with Yessenia for about another hour before heading back to my mom’s house to meet Ty and go to the dealership.
“Adios, amigo,” Yessenia said as I was leaving her house.
“Ditto.” I laughed.
When I got to my mom’s house, German was parked outside, waiting on me, because, as usual, something had come up, and Ty couldn’t take me to the dealership.
Chapter Eight
German
“You didn’t tell me you had to work late tonight.” Tamia hit me with that before I was even through the door.
“I didn’t have to work late, Tamia. Ty needed a favor, so I handled it for him,” I told her.
“And what might that be?” she inquired with an attitude.
“He needed for me to take his sister to the car dealership,” I answered, telling her the truth. I never lied to her, and I wasn’t about to start now.
“Are you fucking serious? So, you’re fucking that bitch again?” she asked me.
“Tamia, you’re bugging. Did you not just hear me say that I did a favor for Ty? How does that equal me fucking his sister again?”
Tamia had been a different person since Jakiyah moved back to New York. No matter how many times I told her that she had nothing to worry about, she would start questioning me and would refuse to believe anything that I told her. It was really starting to annoy me.
“You know what, German? If I find out that you’re fucking with her again, I swear, I’m fucking you up. I don’t know why you would do a favor that involves that bitch after she basically told me to stay away from her mother,” she shouted.
“Tamia, I’m not about to stand here and argue with you about something that happened between women. Now, I told you I did a favor for Ty, and that’s it,” I said. I then walked upstairs, leaving her to sulk.
I went into the bathroom to take a shower and clear my head. Tamia had my ass pissed. At first, her being jealous was cute, but now it was annoying and was stressing me the hell out. I hated being accused of something I wasn’t doing. I just wanted to shower and take my ass to bed because I had to be at work at six tomorrow. As the warm water rained down on me, I felt a draft on my back, so I turned around to make sure the shower curtain was still closed. I saw Tamia’s ass getting into the shower, ass naked.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, then got on her knees and took my dick into her mouth.
I grabbed the back of her head, pumped in and out of her mouth, forgetting how pissed I was as she continued to deep throat my shit. I felt my knees buckle when I was on the verge of busting in her mouth. I tried to hold on, but after a few more pumps in her mouth and her sucking the life out of my shit, I busted and she swallowed every drop. After getting my nut, I was going to pay her ass back and not let her get off, but she bent her ass over the tub, and my dick was brick hard in seconds. I wasted no time entering her from behind.
“Ooh, shit, Tamia. Slow down,” I moaned, because she was wilding on my dick, and I wasn’t ready to cum again just yet.
I grabbed her hips, slowing her movements, and I pumped inside of her at a slower pace, enjoying every inch of her tight, wet pussy.
“German, stop playing and fuck me,” she panted, throwing the pussy back.
She wanted me to beat up the pussy, so I showed her no mercy as I pulled out and rammed my dick back inside of her. I was punishing the pussy, and now she was begging me to slow down. All I wanted to hear was my balls slapping against her ass as I deep stroked her.
“You wanted this dick, so shut up and take all this good fucking,” I said, continuing to bang her walls until I released inside of her, and she glazed my dick with her juices.
After washing and getting out of the shower, her ass was walking like she had just got finished riding a horse. I had fucked that pussy up. I laughed to myself as I walked right past her ass. She knew I was a beast when it came to my dick game, and that was why I always tried to slow fuck her, but being that she was a freak, she had wanted it rough, knowing she couldn’t handle the dick.
After putting on a pair of boxers, I walked back into the bathroom to throw my towel in the hamper and brush my teeth. As soon as I came out of the bathroom, Tamia was standing with the screw face, holding my phone in her hand.
“Why the fuck is Jakiyah texting you at this time of night? Better yet, how did she get your number?” she screamed.
“What did the text say, Tamia?” I asked her, trying to remain calm, because she had no business being all up in my phone.
“Does it matter what she texted you? It’s after ten p.m., so she has no reason to be texting your phone. And again, why does she have your numbe
r!” she yelled.
“Tamia, I have to admit that you being jealous was cute, but now it’s getting aggravating as hell. I gave Jakiyah my number when she took the car for a test-drive so that if she had any problems, she could call my phone. So, if she’s texting me, she probably was just texting to say thank you. So stop the insecure bullshit. . . . It doesn’t look cute on you,” I said to her, no longer calm at this point.
“If I’m insecure, it’s because since that bitch has been back, you have stayed at her parents’ house.”
“Now I know you’re bugging, because you know that anytime I’m over there, it’s me stopping through to see Ty. Do you see me checking you about how much time you spend over there? I could say that you’re over there hoping to see Ty,” I barked at her simple ass.
“Well, if you say it, how wrong would you be?” she asked, with a roll of her eyes.
“Exactly my fucking point, so stop accusing me of shit I’m not doing,” I said, shutting the conversation down. I took my phone and left the room.
Chapter Nine
German
I just got up after a bad night, and now I was having a bad morning. It was raining so hard, and I hated being in the field when it rained. Tamia was up early this morning, but as I got ready for work, I didn’t say anything to her. We had never gone to bed mad at each other before, and it was bothering me, but I wasn’t up for discussing it, because I was still pissed. I had never given her any reason to doubt me, and I had always told her the truth when she asked, so I didn’t know why she was letting Jakiyah being back cause problems in our relationship. The worst thing a female could do was stress a nigga out about some shit he wasn’t doing: this could push his ass right into the arms of the next bitch. Tamia’s ass better find some act right, and find it quick, because I had zero tolerance for unnecessary bullshit.
* * *
I was on my way to return the truck, because my shift was over, when my phone rang. Jakiyah’s number showed up on the screen.
“Hey, what’s up, Jakiyah?” I asked, answering her call.
“Hey, German. I’m sorry to bother you, but Mom’s cable box in the living room went out. We tried to troubleshoot over the phone, but it didn’t work, and they don’t have an appointment for a tech to come out until next week. My dad is losing it because he’s going to miss Power tomorrow since we only have Starz on the living-room cable box.”
“Say no more. I’ll be there in a few.” I laughed because her dad was addicted to watching Power.
Instead of returning the truck, I headed on over to Jakiyah’s mom’s house. I knew that getting home late again was going to cause more problems, but I couldn’t let the Smith family down. Mr. Smith probably would have a heart attack if he missed his show. That shit is funny as hell, I thought to myself as I cruised to my destination.
I pulled up to the house about twenty minutes later, and I saw Jakiyah standing on the stoop, talking to some dude who looked vaguely familiar. She was all blushing and shit up in his face. I didn’t even know she had started seeing someone. I grabbed my workbag and headed to the house, slightly feeling some kind of way.
“Hey, German. Dad is waiting for you inside,” she said and smiled.
I waited for her to introduce dude, but she didn’t. She went back to her conversation, so I just went inside to do what I had to do. Mr. Smith was waiting for me in the living room, so I walked over to him.
“Hello, German. Thanks for coming out, son. I really appreciate it,” Mr. Smith said, patting me on the back.
“No problem, sir. Anything for my favorite family,” I responded as I stepped over to the TV to see what the problem was.
By the time I was finishing up, Jakiyah had come inside, still wearing that silly smile on her face. I really didn’t have time to kick it, but I was curious as to who dude was. When she went into the kitchen, I followed her.
“Hey,” I said, walking up to her as she stood and looked inside the refrigerator.
“Hey, German. Thanks for making it possible for Dad to watch his show tomorrow. That old man is a mess. He’s got no business watching Power,” she said and laughed.
“No problem. Who was ole dude you were talking to?” I threw out there.
“Oh, that was my ex, Quameek,” she responded, a smile on her face again.
I remembered the name. He was an ex, the guy that she was with before we started dating. I wondered how she had run back into him, but it was none of my business, I told myself.
“Oh, okay, cool. Well, I’m going to get on out of here. I will talk to you later.” I was about to walk out of the kitchen, but she stopped me.
“You know, you could have responded to my text last night,” she said.
“You mean the text that had me up arguing and sleeping on the couch last night?” I responded.
“Oh, wow. I apologize. The last thing I need is for her to think I want her man.”
“Don’t sweat it. It’s late. Let me go, because I don’t need a repeat of last night. Later.”
“Later, and thanks again,” she said, hugging me good-bye.
It was already going on 8:00 p.m., and I needed to return the truck. If I had to work the weekend, I would have kept the truck until tomorrow, but I didn’t. I thought about calling Tamia to let her know that I was running late, but I thought twice about it. I realized that either way, I was going to be in the doghouse. Ty was having a showcase at his club tomorrow, and we were invited, so hopefully, Tamia wouldn’t act up. I was really hoping we would make up, because she wasn’t going to want me to go to the club without her.
After dropping the truck off, I got in my car and headed home, still hoping for a peaceful night without all the extra shit. I wasn’t going to even front: seeing Jakiyah cheesing over that nigga had me low key hating on him. I wasn’t no hating nigga, but I damn sure didn’t want her around me with no other dude. Even though we weren’t together, I still didn’t like the shit. I had no idea why it bothered me so much, but I was thinking it had to do with me never seeing her with another man before.
If Tamia had seen my face when I saw Jakiyah’s ass on the porch with dude, I would have never lived that down. That shit took me by surprise, made me realize that I still had some feelings for her. I guessed it had been easy for me until now, given that I hadn’t had to see her, but now that she was back, this shit was going to be really hard. I pulled up in our driveway and took a deep breath, praying one more time that Tamia didn’t want to argue with my ass about being late again.
Chapter Ten
Tamia
When German walked in last night, I didn’t even bother to ask him why he was late. I already knew that he had stopped by Jakiyah’s, because her mother had told me. I thought he would offer an explanation, but he didn’t, so I left it alone and just continued making dinner for both of us. If I hadn’t called Mama Smith to see if she still needed me to take her to her doctor’s appointment on Monday, which she declined, I would not have known he was there. I didn’t pick an argument, because I had things to handle tomorrow afternoon, before getting ready for the showcase.
The next day I left the house at about 11:30 a.m. and parked down the block from my destination. I had never thought I would be back at this house that I had once called home. I walked into the backyard, making sure my hood was on my head. I had to be as discreet as possible and not draw attention to myself. I knew that Ms. Johnson, who lived next door, always went to bingo every Saturday afternoon, so I wasn’t worried about her being in the window and being nosy, which she was every day of the week. I knew she still lived there, because her old, beat-up red pickup truck still sat in her yard. The bingo hall was at the church at the end of the block, so she never drove there. I prayed that the lock on her back door was still the same as I put the key in and turned it.
Bingo, I thought when the key unlocked the door. Yes, I still had the key to the place I used to call home. I had held on to a lot of things that I should have just let go. The house was quiet, bu
t I knew he was inside, since I followed him here last night. Unbeknownst to German, I had gotten home just ten minutes before he had last night. That was why dinner wasn’t already finished when he got home. In fact, I had just gotten started, and he never questioned why, and that was cool with me.
I crept up the stairs to the bedroom where he now lay in our old bed, sleeping peacefully. The room was the same as I remembered it. The rocking chair that I had purchased when I found out that I was pregnant was still sitting in the same spot. Many days I had sat in that chair, rocking and reading to my unborn baby. I had anticipated the day of his or her arrival, which never came. I wiped at a few tears before they fell from my eyes. I walked over and sat in the rocking chair and reminisced about the day that my life was crushed to pieces.
My baby daddy had come home from work that tragic evening and had told me that he needed to talk to me, so I’d stopped what I was doing and met him in the living room, where I took a seat. We had been waiting for him to get a promotion at work, so I just knew tonight would be the night when we opened up the bottle of champagne to celebrate. I was ready to receive the good news because with the baby coming, this promotion would mean everything was going to be okay. But when he started by saying, “Tamia, you know I love you . . . ,” with a grim look on his face, I knew the talk wasn’t work related.
He went on to say that he had met someone and that they were in love, and so he couldn’t be with me anymore. I begged and pleaded with him, asked him how he could leave me when I was pregnant with our child, with no means of support or anywhere for me to live. He expressed that he was sorry and that he wasn’t trying to hurt me. He said that he would be there for his child, but he was done with the relationship. I was devastated that he could walk away from a three-year relationship as if I meant nothing to him. I had had no idea he was unhappy, but he had to be unhappy. Why else would he pursue another woman? He said that he hadn’t gone out looking to cheat on me, but that it was something that just happened.
He Used to Love Me Page 4