Part of Me: Friendship, Texas #3

by Magan Vernon

  I’d been to the Dillinger’s house exactly once in my entire life. Once upon a time, I was a Pee Wee cheerleader alongside Christy Quinn, Teagan Munson, and Abbey Dillinger. I was only five when we cheered on the sidelines of the Pee Wee football games. We all got along initially with Christy’s mom as the head coach and my mom as the inexperienced assistant. Even in my tiny, five-year-old brain, I had dreams of us as best friends with slumber parties and future cheer championships.

  Then it was as if a light bulb went off, and all the girls laughed at me. They didn’t invite me to their birthday parties, and when I tried to play with them at recess, they told me I was a clumsy doo doo head.

  Mom had to carry me kicking and screaming to the end of the year cheer party at Abbey’s house. They had pony rides, a bounce house, and a slushie machine, but I couldn’t focus on any of that. I was too busy clinging to my mom’s side since no one else would play with me and I didn’t want to try.

  Fifteen years ago, the farmhouse was in various stages of disrepair with an old barn barely hanging on. Now, the old farmhouse was a juxtaposition of old and new with its brand new white siding and wraparound porch. Newer rows of trees were planted around the house and down the hill, where a tiny sliver of a view of the pond intersected the Dillinger’s property with the TL ranch and the Carrington’s place.

  Okay, so maybe I knew all of that a little too well since I heard Eddie Justice was staying there with his parents at one point, and his girlfriend, Brooke, stayed next door with her mom. Brooke also had a younger brother, Clay, who was a few years older, and I’d had a bad boy crush on him for a hot minute. I briefly wondered if he was single then shook that thought out of my head.

  God, I was horny. Having another human growing inside me somehow made my hormones go crazy, and all I could think about was jumping someone. But I kind of wondered how weird pregnant sex would be. I might have RedTubed it and came up with some gross things, so I quickly exited and vowed not to bring that up to Johnny.

  Dad pulled into the circle drive, and Johnny parked behind me as Stephanie opened the front door, running down the front porch steps. “I’m so happy y’all are here!”

  Stephanie ran and hugged me close like we were BFFs then went to give Johnny an equally loving hug. “Abbey had to work, but she’ll be back for dinner.”

  Johnny went to the truck and grabbed a box from the back. Stephanie put her arm around my shoulders. “And how are you feeling these days? If you want, you can sit on the couch while we put everything up. I got some mommy time tea from a vendor at the farmer’s market in Farmersville if you want me to brew you a cup.”

  “What?” I stepped back, raising an eyebrow.

  Stephanie smiled. “Your dad told me. He may not be showing it, but he’s super excited for our future grandbaby.”

  My eyes widened, and the air felt like it had been whooshed from my lungs. Without thinking, I squeaked, “DAD!”

  Stephanie stared at me as if I just stepped on her cat, and Dad and Johnny came running to my side.

  “Honey, are you okay?” Dad asked, looking at me full of concern. Johnny stood next to me, looking over me as if he was expecting blood to drain from my head.

  I slowly lifted my finger and pointed at Stephanie then turned to Dad. “You told her?”

  “Told her...wha...oh...” Dad said, recognition crossing his face as he raked his fingers through his hair. “Um. Yeah. I might have had dinner with her that night, and it kind of slipped out between drinks.”

  “It just slipped out? You know what happens when things slip out? This! This is what happens?” I said, circling my pregnant belly with my fingers.

  Stephanie stared at me with her mouth gaping open, and Dad opened his mouth then shut it again like a drowning fish. “Sofie Gail White,” he practically stuttered instead of sounding scary like a dad should when saying a full name.

  Johnny put his arm around my shoulders. “Do you maybe want to go take a break? Maybe get pancakes or something?”

  I shrugged off his arm. “No, I don’t want any damn pancakes, okay? I’m mad, and I have a right to be mad!”

  “Sofie, don’t you think you’re being unreasonable? I’m sorry that I told Stephanie about all of this.” He sighed, raking his fingers through his hair again. “You know this wasn’t easy for me either, and to tell you the truth, I was more than shocked when you told me. I didn’t know where to turn, so I told Stephanie about it. Maybe I shouldn’t have. Maybe I should have waited for you to tell her or we should have talked about it more first. That’s on me.”

  “You’re right. This wasn’t for you to tell. This wasn’t for anyone to tell. This is my story. My other half,” I cried, not realizing the tears threatened to burst through my eyes until they were falling down my cheeks.

  Johnny put his arm around my shoulders again, and this time I didn’t push him off. I just let him rub his big hands up and down my arms while I turned into a blubbering mess.

  Dad stepped closer and so did Stephanie. I thought Dad would speak, but Stephanie put her hand out and opened her mouth. “Sofie, I’m sorry. I overstepped. I think I’ve been doing that a lot lately. I shouldn’t have expected you to take in your dad’s new girlfriend so easily just because you’ve grown up knowing me. I also shouldn’t have overstepped my bounds with talking about your pregnancy, and for that, I’m sorry.”

  I should have said that I accepted her apology or something, but instead, I just nodded. I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to say, and Johnny had to witness my crazy, pregnant lady outburst.

  Dad sighed. “You know...if you two want to head out, I’m sure Stephanie and I can handle this. We’ll just see you both for dinner. You don’t even have to come here; we can meet at Conti’s or something.”

  Johnny responded before I could. “Maybe we’ll just take a little walk and come back.”

  Dad nodded. “That works too.”

  “There’s a trail that leads down to the pond behind the willows. It’s a nice walk, and you can see the Jahid’s cattle over the fence,” Stephanie said with a tight-lipped smile, pointing over her shoulder.

  “That sounds nice,” Johnny said and looked down at me. “Walk with me, Sofie?”

  My feet pushed me forward before I could even respond, and we made our way down the little stone pathway and through the willow to a view of the small pond surrounded by pampas grass. It wasn’t much of a pond; almost like a small swimming pool with a little wooden dock off to one side. One lap around it would have barely broken a sweat or given me enough time to process everything with my dad.

  “You wanna sit?” Johnny asked.

  “What? You think just because I’m pregnant that I can’t walk?” I snapped, harsher than I intended.

  “Okay then...I won’t ask any more questions...”

  “Sorry. You should probably leave. Your baby mama is kind of feeling the bitch wave right now,” I muttered.

  “I think you need a different name than Baby Mama. Can’t I just call you my girlfriend?” Johnny said, taking a seat on the little wooden dock.

  I shrugged and took the seat next to him, hoping the weight of the two of us wouldn’t break the small wooden structure. “Call me whatever.”

  “I don’t want to step out of line and have you yell at me, but when we first started talking about all of this baby stuff, you seemed confused and overwhelmed. Now that things are starting to sink in, I feel like that’s all turned to anger. I don’t want you to be pissed off all the time.”

  “Do you think I want to be this angry?” I asked.

  “No. I didn’t say that. I’m just saying that I don’t know if it’s whatever hormones or if you’re hiding everything else under that rage.”

  He sighed, leaning back, so his long body spread over the dock. His legs dangled over the side, and the soles of his shoes were only an inch above the water. “When I was younger, I remember being a pain in the ass little kid. By like third grade, I had already fallen in with a bad crowd and was
in the principal’s office every other day for disrupting class or something equally stupid.”

  I raised an eyebrow, looking over my shoulder at the tall, hunk of man swimmer who looked like an all-American golden boy with his dimpled chin and Wheaties box smile. “You? A bad kid?”

  He laughed and put his arm around my waist, pulling me closer. “Yes, I was the bad eight-year-old. That was when my mom saw I was getting in with the wrong crowd and put me in swimming. Of course, I was angry about that and just an angry kid in general, so I told her how much I hated it. For the first, literally, six months, I just complained about everything about the sport.”

  “So what made you stop hating it and being angry about it?” I asked.

  He smiled, rubbing his palm over my lower back. “I told myself to stop being angry and to actually give it a try.”

  I rolled my eyes. “That isn’t a real answer.”

  He laughed. “It is.”

  I shook my head. “No. You can’t just tell yourself to be a certain way. That’s not how it works.”

  Before I could say anything else, Johnny wrapped his arm completely around my waist and pulled me down, so my head was on his chest.

  “You hear that, Sofie?”

  “What? The sound of my back cracking?”

  He laughed, the sound vibrating under my cheek. “No. It’s my heartbeat. Like the one you said you heard of our baby. When you told me you were pregnant, I was shocked and a little pissed at myself for not wearing a condom Christmas morning. Then I felt my heart beating in my chest. The same heartbeat growing inside you. Instead of being angry, I thought about that little heartbeat. That little swimmer inside you who’s mine. I’m not going to let him or her be the angry kid or the one who doesn’t know his or her dad. Instead of being angry, I chose to do everything I could do to be here for both of you. You’re stuck with me, Sofie. You. Me. And our little heartbeat,” he said, putting his hand on my shoulder then sliding it down until he interlaced our fingers.

  A million thoughts ran through my head of what I could say in response, but instead, I just focused on the sound of his heartbeat and thought about the little heartbeat inside me. The one we both created.

  It would be a long road, and I had a lot to be angry about and a lot to be sad about. My life had gone from everything I’d known the past five years to a different view. Now, I had to do as Johnny said and choose how I’d feel about it.

  I just hoped I’d make the right choice.

  Chapter 11

  After just lying there on the dock for forever, Johnny finally asked if I was ready to go back.

  I nodded against his chest, even though I could have just laid there the rest of the day and night with him.

  It was getting dark out, and Stephanie had little solar lights all around the lake area and on the path back to her house, showing off her landscaping and even a little raised garden.

  Dad had moved in with his new perfect girlfriend who grew plants in the winter and worked as a fancy lawyer in Dallas. A woman nothing like my mother—who was a teller at the local Friendship Credit Union so she could have her nights and weekends off and spend more time raising me.

  Now, instead of my pink-collar working mom as a grandma, this kid would have a grandma with a porch swing and kale in her garden. I wasn’t even sure what kale was and didn’t know if I’d actually ever eaten it, but it sounded like something people who gardened in the winter would grow and feed people.

  I might not have known Stephanie well other than the fact she was dating my dad and her child was a friend of the spawn of Satan, but there was something about her I automatically didn’t like.

  Jay opened the back door, and I immediately took in the mouthwatering smells of basil and something almost nutty. I took in the large kitchen with white cabinets, stainless steel appliances, and granite countertops.

  The kitchen in Dad’s townhouse was small with cheap faux-wood cabinets and a dishwasher and fridge that worked only half of the time. I think Dad would have gotten it repaired if he was at home more or if Mom was still around. Think being the keyword.

  I followed the hardwood floors through the kitchen to the living room where laughter had erupted.

  Dad and Stephanie were sitting on a leather sofa near a gorgeous brick fireplace. An album rested on their laps.

  “Um, Dad, you’re not showing naked baby pictures of me, are you?” I asked, tiptoeing toward the couch with Johnny close behind me.

  “If there are some embarrassing baby pictures, I think I need to see those too,” Johnny said, leaning against the back of the couch.

  Dad and Stephanie smiled, and Stephanie held up a photo. It was one from our Pee Wee cheer days with Abbey and me in our big high hairpieces for competition. I remembered how long that day was—arriving at the football stadium at six in the morning and then shaking my pom poms with the girls to a Spice Girls song. It was the first time in a long time I had smiled at cheer. I thought we were all getting along until school started the next day and I was kicked out of the hide and seek game on the playground. Kindergarten girls were bitches.

  As if Abbey knew she was being talked about, the Amazonian, modelesque girl walked through the front door in a huff.

  “Abbey! You’re just in time for dinner! We’re having brown butter and gnocchi with pine nuts and sage from the garden,” Stephanie said, jumping up and clasping her hands together as if she had just announced there was going to be a grand performance.

  “I already ate,” Abbey muttered. “But here, I brought leftover éclairs. Happy move-in! I’m going to shower,” she said before dropping a red box on the couch then heading toward the stairs, not even looking in my or Johnny’s direction.

  “Abbey!” Stephanie yelled after her, but Abbey didn’t stop, her long legs taking the wooden stairs two at a time.

  “I’m sorry about that. I’ll go talk to her then we’ll serve dinner,” Stephanie said, offering a smile small before she bounded up the stairs.

  “So did you two have fun on your walk? You were gone an awfully long time. Stephanie and I had to get the big stuff in together. I think it helped build some muscles, though. Who knows, maybe I can be in swimming shape like this guy soon.” Dad smacked Johnny in the chest and laughed but then held his hand, shaking it.

  “Geez, Johnny, what are those abs made out of? Steel?” Dad asked, wincing.

  Johnny lifted up his shirt slightly, giving a view of that gorgeous, tan eight pack. “Nope. Just skin and muscle.”

  As if I wasn’t already feeling the pregnancy hormones; now, I just wanted to lick those abs. But definitely not in the middle of the living room with my dad there. Or until I pushed this baby out. I knew there wasn’t much growing inside me, but Johnny was well endowed. What if the baby got brain damage from being hit in the head with a giant peen?

  “Okay, everybody.” Stephanie’s voice rang out as she walked down the stairs with Abbey, whose head was down while her mom had her hands on both of her shoulders.

  Johnny put his shirt down as the two women came to stand in front of us with a perma-smile plastered on Stephanie’s face. “I think this would be the perfect time to have our first family meeting.”

  I raised an eyebrow. “Family meeting?”

  “Uh, you know what? I can go for a quick swim at the training center in Rockwall and be back,” Johnny said, inching toward the door.

  Stephanie put her hand out, her voice lowering slightly, and for the first time, I saw the scary tax lawyer. “You stay here, too, Johnny. This family includes all of us.”

  “All of a sudden, we’re supposed to be one big happy family? Including Sofie’s boyfriend?” Abbey grumbled, nodding her head toward Johnny, who was only a few inches taller than she was, if that.

  “Sit,” Stephanie commanded, and all of us sat down on the leather sectional like obedient dogs. I was sandwiched between Dad and Johnny, and Stephanie and Abbey were on the other side of the couch.

  Stephanie folded her hands on her
lap, looking at all of us. “When Abbey’s father was around, we would have family meetings every time one of us was frustrated with something. When Abbey was younger, we would call one if she was upset about a toy breaking or if we didn’t let her go somewhere with her friends.”

  Stephanie sighed. “But as Abbey got older and things started getting worse between her father and me, these meetings were more frequent and not as civil.”

  She stopped to clear her throat before she continued. “I know this isn’t easy for the two of you. Even as adults, it can be weird when our parents are moving on with their lives. I know this all seems sudden. Joel and I have only been seeing each other since May, but then again, we’re old. We have to move fast, or we could be dead.” Stephanie laughed, but there was no humor in it.

  Dad put his hand out and took Stephanie’s. “I think what Stephanie is trying to say is that we know that both of you are upset by this new change. There have been a lot of changes lately, but we are going to do whatever we have to do to make sure we all work out.”

  The mushy moment was sort of touching. Our parents wanted us all to get along. I went to open my mouth to maybe say something profound, but instead, I took a big inhale of what must have been an air freshener. Instead of speaking, my stomach churned. I covered my mouth and lurched forward.

  “Sofie, are you okay?” Johnny asked.

  I shook my head and sprang off the couch, running toward the kitchen because I had no idea where the bathroom was.

  “I didn’t think I was that cheesy,” Dad yelled.

  “Oh, the bathroom is to the right!” Stephanie yelled, her shoes clicking on the hardwood floor.

  I was already too far gone to make it to the bathroom. Instead, I leaned over the deep farmhouse sink, spilling the contents of lunch.

  “Oh, gross,” Abbey yelled.

  Stephanie was at my side, pulling my hair away from my face and rubbing my back. “It’s okay. Let it out, and you’ll feel better. I think I puked every day all nine months I was pregnant with Abbey.”

  “Oh, God, I hope that doesn’t happen to me,” I moaned, wiping my chin.