Doctor Faustus
Page 5
Gasps. The cork pops out to WAGNER’s surprise.
FAUSTUS
Don’t be afraid. Go to him. Check him out. Tug his beard.
Applause. Cross fade to:
ABRAHAM LINCOLN
Fellow Citizens, we cannot escape history. No personal significance or insignificance can spare one or another of us. The fiery trial through which we pass will light us down in honour or dishonour to the last generation.
Over tannoy, huge applause.
WAGNER is really impressed. Cross fade to:
FAUSTUS
Thank you, thank you, Mr President, illustrious guests. My name is Dr John Faustus –
STAGE MANAGEMENT
(Over tannoy, applause.)
Standby for interval, curtain in five, four –
FAUSTUS
And don’t you be going away, there’s still much more to come.
STAGE MANAGEMENT
(Over tannoy, applause.)
Two, and one.
Applause.
STAGE MANAGEMENT
(Over tannoy, applause.)
Everyone take fifteen.
To dark. Interval.
SCENE 11
A thronged party is in full swing in the narrow confines of FAUSTUS’ dressing room. Guests are high spirited and throb in dance as one beast. Amidst the throng are the POPE, the QUEEN, a MINISTER, a BANKER, a MEDIA MOGUL, MEPHISTOPHELES with FAUSTUS at the centre of it. Through the throbbing throng WAGNER struggles valiantly with plates of canapés and trays of champagne. FAUSTUS escapes momentarily as WAGNER goes for fresh supplies.
FAUSTUS
What did you think of the show, Grace?
WAGNER
Not bad.
FAUSTUS
So you thought it was good?
WAGNER pecks FAUSTUS on the cheek.
FAUSTUS smiles and takes the last glass of champagne from her tray and returns to the throng.
BANKER and MEPHISTOPHELES above the throng.
BANKER
Don’t I know you from someplace?
MEPHISTOPHELES
What was it you said you did?
BANKER
Banking.
MEPHISTOPHELES
Yes, you know me.
BANKER
Say, that cheque the conjuror had me hand over.
MEPHISTOPHELES
What about it?
BANKER
I took a lot of trouble to avoid that tax, I’m not handing it over to some charity.
MEPHISTOPHELES
If you care to sign this contract, I’ll be happy to return your cheque to you.
MEPHISTOPHELES produces a contract. The BANKER reads.
MEDIA MOGUL
Hi there, I’ll have my cheque back too, if you don’t mind.
MEPHISTOPHELES
And you are?
MEDIA MOGUL
I’m a media mogul. And I didn’t spend my life building an empire to give it away to poor people.
MEPHISTOPHELES hands the MEDIA MOGUL a contract.
MINISTER
Hello, I’m Chancellor of the Exchequer, I couldn’t help but overhear but that money wasn’t really mine to give away –
MEPHISTOPHELES conjures a third contract.
BANKER
What’s all this about the soul?
MEPHISTOPHELES
Only applicable if you have one.
BANKER, MEDIA MOGUL and MINISTER are relieved. They frisk themselves for pens.
MEPHISTOPHELES cuts open their arms as she did FAUSTUS’ earlier. They sign their contracts in blood.
MEPHISTOPHELES
Gentlemen, your money.
It rains down a confetti of cheques. The BANKER, MINISTER and MEDIA MOGUL are delighted. They are once more drawn back into the throng. FAUSTUS has caught a piece of the confetti.
FAUSTUS
What’s this, Mephistopheles? The money I made them give to charity.
MEPHISTOPHELES
A piece of advice, Faustus, if you want to play with the big boys, don’t piss them off. If you piss them off, you’ll only get to do it once, then they’ll bury you and forget you. This way, you can continue to play with them.
FAUSTUS
(Referring to contracts.)
But what are these?
MEPHISTOPHELES
Just a little side business. They were only too happy to sign, so little did they value their souls. They’ll be eating shit from the devil’s arsehole for eternity.
FAUSTUS
What about me?
MEPHISTOPHELES
You are worth so much more.
FAUSTUS
I am?
MEPHISTOPHELES
Because you value your soul. Just as I did mine.
FAUSTUS
So I won’t have to eat shit?
MEPHISTOPHELES
No.
(She smiles.)
You’ll long to eat shit.
The music rises, the dancing takes over. MEPHISTOPHELES returns to the throng.
The POPE having spotted FAUSTUS’ book on the chaise longue, goes to inspect it.
FAUSTUS deeply troubled, takes another glass of wine and goes to him. The POPE strokes the book.
POPE
I have long been a fan of conjuring.
FAUSTUS
Bread into flesh, water into wine and all that?
POPE
How it might appear to those of little faith. But you strike me Dr Faustus as a man of some faith.
FAUSTUS
Faith in what? That is the question.
POPE
In the existence of the Lord, Our Saviour.
The POPE, has hit a nerve, he smiles.
POPE
Since, as a man of learning you must accept, that to believe in the antithesis, one must believe in the thesis itself. That is why they say Lucifer is so sulky, since to revolt against God is to acknowledge his existence.
(Chuckling.)
Every time Lucifer destroys something, he acknowledges God’s creation.
WAGNER comes round with some canapés.
POPE
Ah, black truffles with caviar. A fine creation. Black on black, one might say. But what is black? Is there such a thing as pure, sightless black? Or is there always some light, some contour to the dark that offers hope? Evil is so very interesting, don’t you think? Since it gains its existence only from mankind’s abjuration of good, it is itself a product of God’s goodness. But you know this, of course.
FAUSTUS does not respond.
Even in the darkest night, you can only perceive the dark thanks to the light of our Lord. That trick where you had me damn those priests to hell, I’ve read of this trick before. We have this book in the Sistine Library you see. It was obtained by one of my more wayward predecessors in the Middle Ages.
FAUSTUS
It wasn’t a trick, I punished the hypocrisy of those who claim to be good.
POPE
The only magic in the world is that of God’s creation. The rest is showmanship. All the devil was ever good for. His tricks are as nothing. He longs for there to be nothing. But creation keeps confounding him.
FAUSTUS struggles with himself.
FAUSTUS
Sometimes I think of hell, Holy Father, of how long eternity is, and I despair.
MEPHISTOPHELES
(Approaching.)
I’m afraid Dr Faustus must be going, the President –
POPE
To despair is hell, Faustus, that is what you must guard against. Hell is within. To despair is the greatest sin. Hope is the light. Remember the light.
The POPE stands and smiles. He strokes MEPHISTOPHELES’ cheek.
POPE
Mephistopheles, such an evocative name.
MEPHISTOPHELES
Nothing would give me greater pleasure than to entertain you, Holy Father.
POPE
I’m sorry, I must forego such undoubted pleasures. While the Church of Rome is unchangi
ng and eternal, we have, over time been forced to mend some of our more indulgent indulgences.
The POPE rejoins the throng. FAUSTUS regards MEPHISTOPHELES balefully.
MEPHISTOPHELES hands FAUSTUS another glass of champagne and leads him back into the throng.
MEPHISTOPHELES turns up an imaginary dial. The noise and the temperature rise. The beat transforms into ‘Hail to the Chief’. Enter two SECRET SERVICE MEN who check the place and guests. They are followed by the PRESIDENT. The throng parts in front of him. FAUSTUS stands out to welcome him. He is swaying slightly.
FAUSTUS
Mr President, I would just like to say, on behalf of everyone here, what an honour it is for me, I mean to be able to perform for you on your birthday, I mean for us to be able to celebrate your birthday with you.
Applause.
PRESIDENT
Thank you, Dr Faustus, and I’m sorry I was late but I was in conference with my predecessor President Lincoln, who you so kindly conjured from the dead for me. Most illuminating to have his thoughts on the current state of the union. I am in your debt.
FAUSTUS
It really was nothing, Mr President. Now, I hope you don’t mind, but I’ve arranged a little entertainment, for your birthday.
PRESIDENT
Really, you’ve done enough already –
FAUSTUS claps his hands. The room goes silent. FAUSTUS nods to MEPHISTOPHELES.
FAUSTUS
Because, what do you get for the man who has everything?
FAUSTUS plays an air guitar chord and launches into an elaborate intro to ‘Happy Birthday’. The lights dim. MEPHISTOPHELES conjures MARILYN MONROE who sings ‘Happy Birthday’ for the PRESIDENT. She sings it seductively and drapes herself over the PRESIDENT. Eventually the PRESIDENT succumbs and they kiss. FAUSTUS continues playing, wilder and wilder, even as the lights return and the PRESIDENT and the other guests realise he is kissing a devil. There is much screaming and mayhem. The SECRET SERVICE MEN attempt to protect the PRESIDENT and facilitate his escape, but the door is blocked by another devil dressed as ABRAHAM LINCOLN. Much screaming and mayhem as FAUSTUS continues to play. At length, as FAUSTUS finishes his solo, the room is cleared.
FAUSTUS
Mr President? Mr President? Where is everyone?
SCENE 12
Later. WAGNER tidies the detritus of the party. FAUSTUS is deflated and still half-drunk. He stands on his own. Eating a tray of canapés. He stops.
FAUSTUS
Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid. For all your brains, what a stupid ass you are, Faustus, trying to win the approval of the world with tricks and trifles.
He considers the canapé and discards it in disgust. WAGNER looks on disapprovingly.
FAUSTUS
I am stuffed –
FAUSTUS takes an empty champagne bottle from the tray WAGNER carries.
FAUSTUS
I am stuffed with –
He tips the bottle. Nothing.
FAUSTUS
Nothing. Nothingness. No amount of stuff can fill it up.
WAGNER
Go back to the hotel. Sleep it off.
WAGNER takes the bottle.
FAUSTUS
Grace?
WAGNER
Yes?
FAUSTUS is awkward, does not know how to declare himself.
He conjures a diamond necklace.
WAGNER
Does that belong to Mephistopheles?
FAUSTUS
No. No, it’s for you.
WAGNER
Why?
FAUSTUS
Because … because you inspired me. Because you make me think I could be better than I am.
WAGNER
I did nothing. I just made the canapés.
FAUSTUS
No. No. I am nothing. Nothing-ness. A pit of nothing-ness.
WAGNER
Jesus wept!
FAUSTUS
But he did not weep for me.
WAGNER
Christ! It’s a saying. Go back to the hotel, sleep it off. In the morning maybe everyone will have forgotten. Hopefully. And we’ll be some place else. Hopefully.
FAUSTUS
Grace?
WAGNER
What?
FAUSTUS smells her hair. WAGNER smiles but then tries to pull away.
FAUSTUS tries to kiss her. She pushes him off.
WAGNER
No. What are you doing?
FAUSTUS
Why not? I’m a bad man. This is what bad men do.
FAUSTUS makes another half-hearted attempt.
WAGNER
No, stop it. Stop. Not here. Not like this. You need to sober up.
You need to get away from all this. It’s messing with your head.
You need to get away from her.
FAUSTUS
You’re afraid? Of Mephistopheles? To hell with Mephistopheles.
(Laughs, bitter.)
To hell with Mephistopheles.
WAGNER
Who cares about Mephistopheles!
FAUSTUS
No one cares about Mephistopheles, except the Devil, and –
(Tapping his nose.)
Frankly I think they’re in some kind of abusive relationship together.
WAGNER
What is it she holds over you?
FAUSTUS
Something she would hold over you if I told you.
FAUSTUS attempts to kiss her again.
WAGNER
Let’s talk later. When you’ve sobered up. When she’s not around.
Enter MEPHISTOPHELES. FAUSTUS presses the diamonds on WAGNER.
FAUSTUS
Ah Mephistopheles, still here?
MEPHISTOPHELES
The devil never sleeps.
FAUSTUS
Not like us mortals.
MEPHISTOPHELES
Though I feel a weariness no mortal could imagine.
FAUSTUS
Because you must watch my every move?
MEPHISTOPHELES
And how tedious those moves are.
FAUSTUS
(Feigning tiredness.)
I’m going back to the hotel. I’ll see you both later.
MEPHISTOPHELES
Not if I see you first.
MEPHISTOPHELES smiles. Exit FAUSTUS. WAGNER continues to work, MEPHISTOPHELES looks at her.
MEPHISTOPHELES
You know I wasn’t always like this, Wagner, a void, wasn’t it? Nothing under the surface?
WAGNER
You heard?
MEPHISTOPHELES smiles.
MEPHISTOPHELES
I was once in love too.
WAGNER
(Shrugging.)
Who’s in love?
MEPHISTOPHELES
She was like you, shy, but she was beautiful.
WAGNER goes to leave, MEPHISTOPHELES stays her.
MEPHISTOPHELES
I was different then. And she was the flower of femininity,
graceful, yet with so little thought of herself and so much of others, that she thought herself undeserving of me. Like you she was happy to live her life in the shadows. She lived with her parents, in a high walled house in the countryside. I can still see her walking in her garden. Her face was unknown at Court, and I was happy to keep it so. But one day when I was riding with the Emperor – I was one of his favourites – some of the other royal young men were boasting, saying their girls were this or that. And the Emperor turned to me and said, what about you, Mephisto, do you not have a girl that compares? As I said, I was young, and boastful. And I said that my love surpassed all others, in beauty, grace and spirit. The Emperor said then we must settle this and all men must bring their mistresses to Court. And I, too proud to back down and save myself and my love, took her to Court. And the Emperor agreed that my love was the most lovely. In fact he fell for her himself and demanded that he have her himself. I refused. But he offered me honours, powers, dominions. And the more I refused, the mo
re he offered. And I was young and ambitious. And in the end I said she’s yours.
Beat.
WAGNER
This is a fairytale. I’ve heard it before.
MEPHISTOPHELES
It is a fairy tale that was first told about me. But they changed the ending.
WAGNER
How did it end?
MEPHISTOPHELES
The Emperor had her, and soon tired of her. After, I’d have nothing to do with her. I had made my decision. She killed herself. And I took up my new honours, powers and dominions and I burnt and raped and robbed my way though the Empire until I reached the gates of the palace. And the Emperor himself pleaded for mercy at my feet. I nailed him to a tree, cut him open, and let the birds eat him alive.
WAGNER
I must be going.
MEPHISTOPHELES stops her.
MEPHISTOPHELES
So soon?
WAGNER
Yes.
MEPHISTOPHELES stays her. WAGNER is unable to resist.
MEPHISTOPHELES
I think we should get to know each other a little better. There’s so much we could share with each other.
Exit MEPHISTOPHELES leading WAGNER off.
SCENE 13
The dressing room is in moonlit darkness. It is near midnight but otherwise as before. The door opens. Enter SECRET SERVICE MAN.
He checks the coast is clear. He signals for a full SWAT TEAM to enter.
Methodically the SWAT TEAM go through FAUSTUS’ things. In the trunk they find Faustus’/Lucifer’s book. SECRET SERVICE MAN reads it with disgust. He bags the book. Off he hears someone coming. He signals his men to exit via the bathroom, turns off the light. They are gone just as –
SCENE 14
– the door opens, enter FAUSTUS sobered, dressed in his casual best clothes. He conjures a bunch of flowers and a vase. He tries the vase out in various positions. He then checks his watch and attempts a relaxed position, but he is too agitated. He sits on the edge of the chaise longue. Pause. The SECRET SERVICE MAN and SWAT TEAM are about to pounce when – the door opens. Enter WAGNER dressed in high heels and a raincoat, gloves and a headscarf. FAUSTUS is amazed by the transformation and holds out his arms to her. WAGNER walks towards FAUSTUS, takes off her gloves and her headscarf and drapes them over FAUSTUS’ outstretched arms.
Confused at her change in manner, FAUSTUS rushes to fix her a drink. WAGNER takes off her raincoat, throws it over FAUSTUS’ arm as he hands her the drink. To FAUSTUS’ great surprise WAGNER wears only stylish underwear.
WAGNER downs the drink in one then leads FAUSTUS to the sofa.
WAGNER gets down on her knees and starts to undress FAUSTUS from the shoes up as he talks.