Not Without Risk (Wolff Securities Book 2)

by Jennifer Lowery

“This is yours?” She asked, unable to hide her surprise.

  Nate parked in front of the house and turned off the engine. “I only live here during the winter months.” He climbed out and came around to help her out.

  “Where do you live the rest of the time?” With her hand on Nate’s arm, she let him walk her toward the house. But, they veered around it and followed the lush green yard to the back. She gasped when it opened up to reveal a large deep blue lake lined with thick forest and an occasional dock and house. Just across the way was a gorgeous log cabin that seemed to soar to the sky with its windows and angles. And tucked in the trees she could see an oddly shaped roof that jutted to the sky.

  They walked across the lawn until they reached a dock. Two boats were tied there. One was a beautiful, shiny wooden boat that looked like it was still in repair. The other looked like a house on the water.

  It was the smaller vessel that caught her eye. Softly, she said, “Lady Jane.”

  “She’s not quite ready for company.” Nate said, leading her onto the dock and to the houseboat. “This is where I live.”

  Macy pulled on his hand. “Oh, no. No, no, no. I am not getting on that thing.”

  “It’s nothing like the ship. Promise.”

  “Uh-huh. I can’t go through that again. I’ll stay in your house instead. You go right ahead and stay out here.”

  “You won’t even give it a try?”

  She met his gaze and let out a heavy sigh. He made it impossible to say no to. Although, he seemed to have no trouble saying no.

  Not going there, she motioned for him to go forth. “Fine, but the first sign of seasickness I’m out of here.”

  “Deal.”

  They stepped onto the deck. It rocked only slightly beneath her feet. Okay, not so bad. Nate pushed open a sliding glass door and led her inside. Her brows rose in surprise as she looked around the spacious living room which connected to a beautiful kitchen. The cupboards were dark wood which should darken the place, but in fact they blended right in. A short island extended between the rooms and two stools sat beneath it. If she didn’t know better she would believe they were in a real house, not one that floated. It had everything a home did from stove and refrigerator to dishwasher.

  The living area was all windows and decorated in subtle tones of gray. It looked quite comfortable. A little manly, but nice. And it suited Nate to perfectly.

  “Avery left some of your things for you. They’re in the bedroom. Want to shower now or after?”

  Her stomach tightened. No sense in putting it off. Like Nate said, she had this.

  “No, let’s go let everyone know we’re home and I’m fine.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  She wasn’t fine.

  Nate kept the supposition to himself. Macy hadn’t even begun to cope with her ordeal. She kept it hidden deep down inside. Understandable, given all they had to go through to get home. But, trauma had a way of creeping in when you least expected it. He’d seen it many times as a SEAL. Everyone had their own way of dealing with things. Seemed Macy’s way was to bury it and simply not deal. Just push forward and pretend it never happened. When those walls crumbled she was going to need someone to be there.

  He wanted to be that someone. Wanted her to trust him to hold her up when the ground fell out from beneath her.

  Damn. When had this gotten so complicated? He’d maintained a safe distance until now. And it sure as hell hadn’t been easy. Macy was a beautiful, sexy woman who turned him inside out with a simple look. She was bold and impulsive and one of the strongest women he knew. Turning her down had about ended him. He wasn’t sure how long he could keep his attraction suppressed.

  Mentally berating himself for his selfish thoughts, he led Macy back out to the Jeep. He would follow Macy’s lead. For now.

  The short drive to Quinn’s didn’t ease his suspicions that Macy wasn’t dealing. She chatted about meeting Avery and how happy she was to have her best friend back. When they arrived at Quinn’s log cabin she went silent. But only for a moment.

  The front door burst open and Avery ran out onto the porch. She cupped a hand over her mouth when she saw Macy and ran the rest of the way to the Jeep. Macy jumped out and met her halfway.

  Nate climbed out, letting them have their moment, and met his brother on the porch.

  “How’s she doing?” Quinn asked.

  “She’s not dealing with it. She’s in denial.”

  “Damn.”

  Nate watched Macy hugging her friend, no tears, just gleeful joy. “Yeah.”

  “She’s gonna crash. Hard. Avery did.”

  Nate knew all too well how Avery had suffered when her walls finally came down. Quinn had been there for her and she’d let him in. Now, they were engaged and happier than he’d ever seen his brother. Their mom always told them that love could conquer anything. Even grief. He supposed there was some truth to it. His parents had conquered many obstacles in their thirty-five years of marriage.

  “I know.” He said, watching the women walk arm in arm toward them.

  Quinn patted him on the shoulder. “Gonna be one hell of a time. Prepare yourself, brother.”

  Nate didn’t have time to comment as the girls met them on the porch. Macy met his gaze, hers full of joy, but shuttered then she smiled and he knew right then and there he needed to be the one to catch her when she fell.

  “Quinn, let me introduce you to my friend and business partner, Macy Gibbs. Macy, this is Quinn Wolff, my fiancé.”

  The look of surprise in Macy’s eyes when Avery said fiancé didn’t go unnoticed. She reached out a hand and shook Quinn’s hand. Nate had told her about Quinn rescuing Avery, but not the details of their relationship. Wasn’t his place.

  “Thank you for bringing Avery home.” Macy said to Quinn.

  Quinn nodded and let go of her hand.

  “Come in, come in.” Avery said. “Let’s talk over coffee.”

  The women walked ahead of them, chatting as they disappeared inside the house. Quinn sent him a look that said, ‘There’s a storm coming.’ Nate scowled and followed them inside.

  Avery made a pot of coffee and they sat around the kitchen table, talking as if they were old friends. Nate didn’t like it one bit. Macy acted like she didn’t have faded bruised on her face; or a wound on her leg or a contract on her head. In fact, she stepped back into her life as if none of it had happened.

  Quinn motioned for Nate to follow him outside. Avery and Macy waved them off, moving into the living room to get more comfortable.

  On the back deck, Quinn handed Nate a beer he’d snagged from the fridge on the way out. Nate twisted the cap off and took a hefty drink.

  “Any idea how you’re going to remove the bounty from Macy’s head?” Quinn asked, leaning against the deck rail.

  “I have an idea but Kell isn’t going to like it.”

  Quinn nodded, knowing where this was going. There was only one person they knew who could make the bounty disappear.

  “I talked to Shea already. She’s working on a fake death certificate and details to convince the authorities Macy is dead.”

  Quinn’s jaw tightened. “Diakameli isn’t going to be easy to convince.”

  “Maybe we should go convince him.” Nate took another long drag on his beer.

  “I want the bastard dead as much as you do. Hell, we all do, but we can’t take on an army right now. Too many jobs lined up.”

  In other words, they hadn’t tracked him down yet. He knew damn well Quinn spent every possible minute hunting the man responsible for their brother’s death. Ryan’s death would be avenged. They just had to wait for the right time. Which was damn hard on all of them.

  They drank in silence then Quinn spoke. “Mom made her celebration cake.”

  Nate groaned. “I’m not sure Macy is going to feel like celebrating.”

  “You know Mom. She’s celebrating life and the fact you brought Macy home safe.” Quinn stared out at the lake. “You both came home
in one piece.”

  The knife twisted in his chest. He knew his brother blamed himself for Ryan’s death, regardless of the fact they all knew there was a risk in what they did and it could have been any one of them. Quinn had always taken on responsibility for the siblings. Even when it wasn’t his to take.

  Avery poked her head out the door. “Hey, you two, we’re heading over to your parents’ for dinner. Let’s go.”

  Quinn and Nate exchanged a look, drained their bottles, and did as ordered. As Nate followed his brother inside, he wondered how the hell Macy was keeping up this charade. Christ, she had agreed to dinner with his parents.

  ****

  “Does all your family live on this lake?” Macy asked as they walked up to the front door of his parent’s house. During her bout of seasickness when she’d ask him to talk to her, he’d told her about home, his family, what it was like growing up here so she knew he had five brothers and one sister.

  “Yep.”

  “I bet that gets interesting.”

  He chuckled. “You have no idea.” He stopped at the front door. Quinn and Avery trailed behind by a few paces so he leaned down to ask, “Are you sure about this? Mom will understand if you just want to go home.”

  Home. What was he saying? Her home was in New York, not on his houseboat.

  Macy waved him off. “I’m good. I’ve heard so much of your family I’m ready to meet them.”

  The door opened before he could protest and his parents stood there. His dad met his gaze over top of his mom’s head. They would talk later.

  His mom took one look at Macy and grasped her hand in both of hers. “You must be Macy. I’m Ellen and this is my husband, Frank. Please, come in.”

  They went inside and his mom pulled him into her arms for a tight hug. “Welcome home.” she murmured.

  He hugged her back. “Thanks, Mom.”

  She held on a moment longer then patted his cheek and stepped away. “I hope you brought your appetite. I made chicken and biscuits.”

  Nate’s mouth watered. Mom’s homemade roasted chicken over fluffy biscuits. Seemed like forever since he’d eaten the best dinner in the world. Nothing beat Mom’s cooking. A good, hearty meal would be good for Macy. She’d lost a lot of weight during their journey. And he knew his mom noticed. If they didn’t go home—back to his place—without an armload of Tupperware containers to add to the one’s already in his fridge he’d be surprised. Food healed the heart and soul, according to his mother. Not that there wasn’t merit to that. When they were sick, she brought them chicken noodle soup with homemade noodles and it cured them every time.

  They all sat around the dinner table which was already set with flower-patterned dishes and goblets for tea or water. They’d no more than began when Bailey came in, trailed by Kell and Evan. Chris was still on a job so they were short one. Well, technically two.

  Nate glanced at Ryan’s empty chair and his chest tightened. He’d never get used to seeing that empty seat.

  He made introductions, watching Macy greet each of his siblings with a smile. She seemed oddly comfortable, given there were so many of them. Most were overwhelmed when surrounded by Wolffs.

  As they passed dishes and filled their plates the usual chatter ensued. Nate noticed a new bruise on Evan’s cheekbone. Evan hadn’t been taking as many jobs lately, passing them to Chris who took on too many. Chris’s way of dealing was to throw himself into his work. Evan had always been the quiet one. Recently though, he’d been disappearing at random times during the day and night. And, he always seemed to have a new black eye or cut. He said he was amping up his workouts at the gym but Nate’s gut told him that wasn’t the full truth. His brother was into something and he had a feeling it wasn’t good.

  “Nate, you didn’t tell me your sister was a cartographer.” Macy said, breaking into his thoughts.

  He passed the gravy to Quinn. “Didn’t I?”

  Macy had already turned her attention back to his sister. “That is so interesting. You actually draw maps?”

  Bailey nodded. “I do. I like the constant changing platform. The challenge of collecting, measuring, and interpreting geographic data in order to create and update maps and charts.”

  “You work for a company then?”

  “Nope, freelance. Pay is better.” Bailey smiled.

  “She just likes being the boss.” Kell said around a mouthful of potatoes.

  Bailey let the jab go. “That’s true. I do like being my own boss.”

  They continued to jabber, just like normal. It felt like old times, but it wasn’t. One was missing and would never return.

  Raw pain shot through Nate’s chest. He forced it down before anyone could see.

  Macy had gone silent and Nate noticed her pushing food around her plate, face pale. She looked lost.

  Crap. He knew this was a bad idea.

  Before he could make excuses for leaving early, his mom came in and set a triple layer cake in the center of the table. She’d even decorated it with painstaking pink roses. Celebration cake. Just as Quinn predicted.

  She began serving slices on dessert plates, passing them down the line. “I hope you like white cake.” She said to Macy. “I only make my celebration cake on special occasions and this is definitely one.”

  “Oh? What are you celebrating?” Macy asked.

  “Why, you dear. And the fact my son brought you home safely. That’s something to celebrate.”

  Macy’s fork hit her plate with a loud clank. Her face had gone white, eyes wide. She pushed to her feet so abruptly her chair toppled over. “No.” She said, shaking her head. “That is not a reason to celebrate. I’m not safe. I’m not…not…”

  Nate shot to his feet and put an arm around Macy before she bolted. “Can we take a raincheck on dessert, Mom? We really should get going. It’s been a long day.”

  His mom nodded. “I didn’t mean to offend her.”

  Nate led Macy from the room, saying over his shoulder, “You didn’t.” He motioned to Quinn to explain to Mom why Macy started to freak out, knowing his mom would take it to heart and march right over to his house to fix things. Except, this couldn’t be fixed with chicken soup and hugs.

  Macy didn’t speak the entire way home. She sat there looking pale and shocked. Nate began to worry when she mechanically walked to his houseboat and went inside. Knowing her dislike for boats he’d expected some kind of argument. She never gave up this easily.

  He closed the slider door behind him and turned to see her standing in the middle of the living room, lip trembling, hands fisted at her sides. Not good.

  As if approaching a wild animal, he said softly, “Macy, honey. What’s going on inside that pretty head of yours?”

  Her eyes met his, turbulent and pained. “I killed a man.” She said. “I don’t deserve a celebration cake. I’m a murderer and they are going to take me to prison.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  Nate took another cautious step closer, not wanting to push Macy over the edge she tilted on. “You’re not a murderer, you’re a victim. You were protecting yourself and no one blames you for that.”

  “Yes, they do. You saw the news. They’re going to hunt me down and take me back.” Her voice had risen to panicked levels.

  Another step. “I promise that isn’t going to happen.”

  “How do you know that? I committed a crime, I deserve to be punished.”

  “No, you didn’t and no, you don’t. Don’t you think you’ve been enough already?”

  She shook her head. “I’m home. How is that being punished?”

  The edge she tottered on crumbled a little more beneath her feet. He hated seeing her like this, but knew this had to happen in order for her to move on.

  “Oh, God.” She whispered, her eyes distant, seeing things he couldn’t. Experiencing the horrors she’d suffered all over again as her mind let go of the trauma. “Oh, God.”

  Her legs buckled and he swept her up before she hit the floor. Her whole b
ody trembled against his, her breath coming in pants. She fisted her hands in his shirt. “What’s happening?”

  Nate held her close, wanting more than anything to take her pain away, to bear her burdens for her. “Let it go, sweetie.” He said.

  Macy fought against him, her small fists pounding his chest. “No! I will not give them the satisfaction of seeing me break. I can’t let them win.”

  Nate tightened his arms around her, stopping her fighting. Anger rode him hard. He hated what Diakameli had done to his family and the pain he continued to inflict.

  “They didn’t win.” He reassured her. “You survived, Macy. You beat them.”

  She wilted against him, her face buried in his chest. “No, I didn’t. I can’t forget what they did. I dream about it. I remember it when I don’t want to.”

  “That’s normal, sweetie. Once you let it go, they will no longer have power over you. Tell me what they did to you.”

  The wall crumbled and she fell. Her words came in a rush, tripping over one another as she purged the horrors she’d endured. Nate dropped to his knees, the burden more than he’d expected, then to the floor and cradled her in his arms, rocking back and forth in comfort.

  Macy cried for the first time since he’d met her. She screamed. She fought. And all the while he held her, listening and hurting for her.

  By time she finished, night had fallen and they sat in the dark, with only the gentle lap of water against the boat and Macy’s uneven breathing filling the room.

  When she relaxed against him, as if the energy drained out of her, he rose to his feet and carried her to the bedroom. He lay her down on the bed and climbed in beside her. With his arms wrapped around her, he let her sleep, her words tormenting him. It was a miracle she’d survived. By avoiding she’d been able to survive. But now that the dam had broken she was in for a long journey to wellbeing.

  And he planned to be at her side every step of the way. He could no longer deny it. He’d fallen for her and he didn’t want to let her go.

  Ever.

  ****

  Macy opened her eyes to warm morning sunlight shining through the bedroom window. Next to her, Nate slept soundly, his arm around her waist. Everything from last night came rushing back and she squeezed her eyes shut. She’d told Nate everything. Like floodgates being opened; she’d purged everything she’d worked so hard to forget. Things she thought she’d had under control. Obviously, she’d been delusional because it all came pouring out and she hadn’t been able to stop it.