Swing For The Fences

by Kimberly Readnour

  “I don’t think we have much to discuss.”

  “Don’t be this way. Aren’t you going to ask me in?”

  “No.” The sound of footsteps pattering against the floor causes me to sigh.

  “Daddy.” Trenna rushes to Carl, and I have no choice but to move out of the way. He steps inside and lowers down to one knee to hug her. I shut the door—no use air-conditioning the outside—but stand beside them. Maybe he’ll get the hint and leave.

  “I need to discuss some things with your mom. Go to your room, and I’ll come and get you guys when I’m done.”

  Of course. I bite my tongue, holding back the expletives I want to say, and march to the couch. I may as well get settled because I’m in for a long evening.

  “So, I take it our problem has been taken care of permanently?” he asks after Trenna races back to her room.

  “Problem?” I play it off as if I don’t know what he’s talking about, but dude, give it up already. It’s been over a month. How he can walk in here and still try to run my life is beyond me. But isn’t that exactly what he does every single time he’s here? What I allow him to do? Sweet Baby Jesus, I’ve let him dictate my choices this entire time.

  “You know what I’m talking about.” He points to the open laptop and practically growls.

  “Jax? Uh, he’s never been a problem.”

  “Are you seriously going to sit here and defend him? After what he did?”

  “He didn’t do anything wrong.”

  “Really? Sleeping with someone and getting them pregnant isn’t doing anything wrong? You know, I don’t want these types of headlines affecting my kids. They already have been harassed.”

  My resolution wavers. I had no idea he knew about the other kids saying things to Tristan. “I highly doubt she’s pregnant. And if she is, the baby’s likely not his. She’s obviously a gold-digger.” Who still hasn’t surfaced. She must be taking a long vacation out of the country.

  “He’s a known player, Jocelyn. Wake the fuck up. The woman followed him to spring training, not to mention hanging around the bar the team visits.”

  My back straightens. “What bar?”

  “I don’t know. Arti’s or some shit.”

  “Wait…how would you know that? That wasn’t mentioned in the papers.”

  He stills, and the hairs on the back of my neck stand at attention. There’s no way for him to know the name of their hangout, let alone her approaching Jax there. “How did you know about the bar?”

  “It’s common knowledge.”

  “It wouldn’t be to you.” I wait for a response, some type of rebuttal, but he remains quiet. A cold tremor shoots down my back. “You wouldn’t… You didn’t… Damn it, Carl, please tell me you didn’t have anything to do with this.”

  The tic in his jaw appears, and I think I’m going to be sick. “What did you do?”

  “Nothing.” He averts his eyes, a sure sign he’s lying.

  “Tell me what you did.” Rage sweeps through me, and I spring off the couch and get in his face. I can’t believe he’d stoop to this level. “Tell me the truth.”

  “Nothing, I—”

  “Did you set this up?”

  Tic. Tic. Tic. His damn twitch, the only thing responding.

  “Did you pay her?”

  “It’s not like it seems.”

  Sweet Jesus, I’m so sick of guys using that excuse. It’s exactly what it seems.

  “Did you pay her to set him up?” Again with the fucking silence. “Jesus, Carl, is she even pregnant?”

  “That I don’t know. She went rogue with that one.”

  “You do realize Jax could press charges against you. Paying someone to sleep with them, whether they did or not, is basically prostitution. Plus, he could sue your ass. What the hell were you thinking?”

  “I wanted you to see what kind of guy he really is.”

  “So, what? He didn’t take the bait, and you made up some wild story? Tried ruining his reputation along with mine? Intentionally bringing harm to our kids. What the hell, Carl?”

  “I messed up. All I wanted was for our family to go back to the way it was.”

  “It’s never going back to the way it was.” I feel sucker punched. How am I going to explain this to Jax? He’ll be livid. “I’ll smooth this over with Jax. For the sake of the kids, I’ll make sure he doesn’t bring charges against you. But you no longer have a say so in what I do with them. If I want to move back to North Carolina, you won’t stand in my way. You’ll step aside and let me do what I want.”

  Carl remains quiet, but he has no choice but to relent.

  “Just leave.” I point to the door, refusing to look at him.

  “I suppose you’ll hop back into Jax’s bed.”

  My gaze snaps back to his. “That’s not your concern. You lost the right to my private affairs the day you cheated on me.”

  His back straightens as he stares at me.

  My tone is no longer angry, just sad. “I would’ve stayed faithful to you, you know. Please leave.”

  He nods. When he reaches the door, he turns back to me and says, “You may have been faithful, but we both know who owns your heart.”

  Whether I want to admit it or not, Carl did me a favor by cheating. I’m no longer involved in a second-rate marriage. The only problem is, I’m no longer involved with the man I love either.

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  JAX

  Current Day

  Walking into the nursing home depresses the heck out of me. With the money I make, no family member should have to live in one. And Nana wouldn’t if it was up to me. She’d be living in a nice home with twenty-four-hour care. Unfortunately, Nana is as stubborn as they come and trumps what I say.

  “Hey, Nana.” A rancid odor hits my senses, knocking me back a step, as soon as I step into her room.

  “Roommate had an accident,” Nana says. She sits across the room by the window, but even if she could crank the window open, there isn’t enough air to rid this stench.

  “She didn’t die, did she?” I’m half serious as I grab the wheelchair. The roommate is nowhere in sight, and the bed is made to military specifications.

  “No, but they did take her to the hospital, I assume.”

  “We’re not staying inside.” I set the chair beside her and assist her into it. “It’s a nice evening anyway. Fresh air will do you good.”

  “What kept you? I was beginning to think you ditched me.”

  “I had a few things to get done this morning.” Like, prepare for a quick trip. “Took a little longer than I thought.”

  She eyes me a moment before motioning me forward. The one thing about my grandma, she knows when to pry and when not to. She’s perfected the art of nosiness. Besides, I can’t wait to get the hell out of this room.

  We end up in the garden on the back property where the air is cleaner. I park her wheelchair by the wooden bench nestled among full-bloomed daylilies and rest beside her. The petals glow a bright yellow from the angle of the evening sun. It’s times like this that make me slow down and reflect on what life is really about. On what I lost, or maybe never even had.

  After a few minutes of enjoying the silence, my grandma lets out a long sigh. “What’s up with you, boy?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Cut the bullshit. You’re slumping big time. Something’s going on. Either you’re hurt physically or you have emotional issues.”

  “By all means, don’t hold back.”

  She pins me with a look that has me spilling my guts.

  “Jocelyn and I broke up.” Feels so juvenile to phrase it that way, but that’s essentially what happened.

  “What did you do?”

  “Why do you assume it was me?” I raise my voice but lose steam when she quirks an eyebrow. Her silence screams louder than her words. “Nana, can I ask something personal?”

  “Spit it out, boy. You’ve been shilly-shallying about the question since you got here.”
>
  “When Papa cheated on you, how did you forgive him?”

  She sucks in a breath. “That girl from the blog is telling the truth?”

  “No! She’s crazy. I didn’t sleep with her. She seduced my roommate, and—wait, you knew?”

  “How could I not? I watch the sports channels. They’re getting as bad as the daytime soap operas. Instead of commenting on your shitty performance, they’re more concerned about your extracurricular activities.” She harrumphs. “Bad reporting if you ask me.”

  “Seriously, Nana, don’t hold back.” God, I love this woman.

  “Jocelyn doesn’t seem unreasonable. What’s going on?”

  “Between her ex threatening custody and our history, I think it’s too much for her to handle.”

  “Why don’t you start at the beginning, then I’ll explain how I could forgive your grandfather.”

  I proceed to tell her what transpired from the miscommunicated kiss in college to the false accusations of the blonde, and all the circumstantial mishaps in between. By the time I finish, the sun has practically arced into the background, and darkness takes hold.

  “This is fixable”—she places her hand on my forearm—“if she loves you.”

  All hope inside me fizzles as I look up to the sky. “I know she loves me, but honestly, I don’t know if it’s enough.”

  “When I found out about your grandfather’s infidelity, it almost killed me. I wondered how he could be so weak as to succumb to another woman. So many thoughts played through my mind.” She takes a deep breath.

  “Nana, you don’t have to—”

  “No, you need to hear this. So, I questioned everything. Why wasn’t I good enough? Was I the problem? Was I unlovable? And the worst one…the one that kept me up late at night…was this entire marriage one-sided?”

  Jesus, that’s a lot of self-doubts.

  “When your grandpa came back, begging for forgiveness, it wasn’t his words that won him back. Lord knows that man was good with words, but he didn’t need to say anything.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “His unspoken truth said enough.” When I still look confused, she lowers her voice. “The truth, my boy, was in his eyes as he looked at me. I could tell he was sorry, and I knew he loved me, regardless of his stupidity.”

  I close my eyes, shutting away the pain her words cause. Is this how Jocelyn feels? Shit, she’s been cheated on by not one but two men in her life. Then add all the crap that is called my life piled on top, and it’s no wonder she took a step back.

  “Look at me, boy. What I have to say is important. I loved your grandfather despite his flaws. People can judge me all they want for taking him back, but what’s important is what came next. He made a crucial mistake, and in time, I forgave him. Does it still hurt? Yes, I don’t think that’s something you ever get over, but the years that followed were some of our best years. He was devoted to our marriage because he knew what was at stake. And he never strayed again. He fought for us.”

  I hardly ever cry. The one time when my dog got cancer and had to be put out of his misery and last year when my parents died are the only two instances I recall. But listening to Nana’s pain has me on the verge of tears. All those years after Papa did that, I thought he wasn’t a man. But he’s more man than me. At least he fought for her. What have I done to fight for the woman I love? Nothing. Fuck, I’m an idiot.

  “Your situation is different than mine. You didn’t cheat, and she knows this, but the girl has an open heart, which has been trampled on twice. That’s enough to make anyone gun-shy.”

  “She’s worried for her kids, too. Her ex is using this scandal to push his own agenda. He wants her back, but she doesn’t love him. That I’m sure of. I’m just afraid she’ll sacrifice herself for the sake of her kids.”

  “Which brings up another point. I know this lady isn’t pregnant with your child, but you need to be honest and ask yourself if you’re ready to tackle three kids. And does Jocelyn want any more?”

  “No. I get the feeling she can’t have any more kids, but these past five weeks has been hell. Not only did I lose her, but I also lost her kids too. They’re great, Nana. The twins are so smart, and Trenna has just opened up to me. She’s a daddy’s girl, through and through, but she finally warmed up to the idea of having me around. And Melanie… God, she’s adorable.” I pause as a smugness descends on Nana’s face, and I don’t try to stop the smile, knowing all good and well what she’s going to say. “Spit it out.”

  “It’s time to step up to the plate.”

  “And swing for the fences?”

  “And swing for the fences.” She nods, her eyes tearing up as she recalls my dad’s saying. My parents had a deep love for each other, and my dad was like a son she never had. She lets out a long breath. “Your parents would be so proud, and they would’ve loved Jocelyn.”

  “They would’ve.” I rise and kiss Nana on the head. “Love you, Nana.”

  “Love you, too. Now, bring me back in and go get the girl.”

  I chuckle as I push Nana back to her room. Any lingering humor dies when we near her door and the overwhelming stench greets us. “Nana, you want to stay somewhere else?”

  “No, I’ll be good.”

  As much as I hate to leave her there, I walk out of the home with a better feeling than I came in. This is my time to fight. I lost to the prick once. I’m not losing out twice.

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  JAX

  Current Day

  Standing this close and not touching her is way harder than anticipated. With my hands shoved deep into my pockets, I rock back on my feet to avoid pulling her close and giving her the proper hello she deserves. When those soft brown eyes greet mine with a longing only I can fill, it’s hard not to toss aside reason and ravish her body. Damn hard.

  “I didn’t expect you to come.” Her voice cracks toward the end and almost breaks my willpower.

  “I need to talk. Look, I—” I shake my head and look away for a second. I spent last night going over what I was going to say, and the second I see her, all sensibility goes out the window. “Can we talk? Just hear me out.”

  She steps aside, and the little patter of feet come barreling across the floor.

  “Jax!” Tristan comes up and fist bumps me. “I watched you play Chicago.”

  “You did?” I pretend to groan. “I didn’t play too well, but I promise to come back stronger after the break.”

  Trenna stands off to the side, working her foot into the floor.

  “Hi, Trenna.”

  She smiles and drops her chin while shuffling over to me. She spreads her arms, and I quickly dip to one knee. I bite back the emotion overwhelming me as her little arms wrap around my shoulders, not fully reaching.

  “I missed you.” Her words are spoken so softly I almost miss them.

  “I missed you, too, kiddo.” I squeeze her tighter and swallow past the lump forming in my throat.

  “Kids, how would you like to visit Ms. Neely while I talk with Jax.”

  “We want to stay here with Jax, right, Trenna?” Tristan looks over at his sister, and she nods.

  “Yeah, Mommy, we haven’t seen him in forever.”

  A weight settles on my heart. If she doesn’t take me back, I don’t know what I’ll do. “How about we go somewhere when we’re done? Would you like that?”

  “Yeah, where?” Tristan asks.

  “Ah, that’s a surprise, but you have to be good for Ms. Neely.”

  “Hurry and talk ’cause we want to go.” Trenna places her hands on her hips and stares at her mother. Jocelyn shoots me a playful glare before hauling the kids over to her neighbor’s house. I hunker down on the couch but can’t relax until she comes back.

  “How have the kids been doing? Are they still getting harassed?”

  “No, school’s been out for a month. I think it’s blown over.”

  “I wasn’t sure if you were working or not.”

  “Oh, I,
uh, don’t work there anymore.”

  “You quit?”

  “Um, not intentionally.”

  “Please don’t tell me they fired you.” When she nods, I have a feeling I won’t like the next answer. “Over me?”

  “They couldn’t handle the paparazzi showing up.”

  “I’m so sorry.”

  “It’s not your fault.” Her tone goes cold. “Believe me.”

  I’m not sure what she means by that, but I nod anyway. “I’m still sorry.”

  I hate this. Our conversation feels forced, and that never happens between us. I know one way to make the awkwardness go away: ask what I’m dying to know. “Have you…have you gotten back with Carl?”

  Her gaze drops, and my body goes numb. The slight shake of her head should relieve me, but I don’t know why she’s upset. Maybe I’m wrong, and she does want to get back together with him.

  “If it were up to him, he’d be moved back in already.”

  “That’s not what you want?”

  She faces me straight on. “No. He’s not who I love.”

  Sagging against the couch, I exhale, the tension in my shoulders dissolving. I’m the luckiest man. In front of me is the most gorgeous, generous woman, who admitted she loves me. I’ll gladly take it.

  “Come here.” I wrap my arm around her and hold her like I wanted to do the second I walked through the door. Kissing the top of her head, I say, “I love you so much. It’s been hell not being with you.”

  Her body melts into mine, but slow, silent quakes roll through her. I grip tighter, but that only causes a sob to fully escape. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

  “I love you, too, which makes things worse.”

  “Worse? How?”

  “Because we can’t get together.”

  I back away to face her. “Why can’t we?”

  “I don’t know if love is enough.”

  “What do you mean? Of course, it is.”