Achilles' Charm
Page 5
She moved over to the sofa and sat down, gazing down at her hands. "I don't think you can know what it was like for me back then, Ross."
She felt the cushions ease as he sat on the other side of the sofa, suddenly seeming so far away.
"So tell me. Make me understand."
She hesitated for a moment before she began. Where did she begin?
"I'm the youngest in my family. We have a very strong Irish-Catholic foundation. Very close-knit. My oldest brother, Brian, was at seminary when I started college. He was very vehement in his beliefs and had a habit of making everyone aware of his strong position on faith and responsibility." She stopped talking for a moment, suddenly taken back in time, saw him standing in her dormitory room, and the hard, disgusted, judgmental expression on his face.
She looked over at Ross. "You have to understand. I loved you so much, Ross. Everything about us felt so perfect and right to me. But people looking from the outside, they wouldn't understand."
Ross's gaze burned right through her, and she was pinned like a bug between the past and the present. She stared off across the room, but didn't see the painting on the wall, she saw Brian standing in front of her. "He came to visit me at college unexpectedly. He said he was in town for a retreat. My roommate must have let him in while I was in the shower." She turned to look at Ross, afraid to go on, to remember what happened next.
"Go on," he said softly.
She licked her lips, her hands clasped tightly in her lap. "You remember I told you my father had worked his way up and had recently been appointed police commissioner. At the time, I thought it was perfect that you wanted to be involved in law enforcement as well. That you and dad would have a lot in common--a lot to talk about."
"I never got an opportunity to meet him. I expect we might."
"Yes, your work schedule never seemed to coincide with a chance to come home with me. I-I'd hoped at graduation..." her voice trailed away. After the confrontation with Brian, she'd left school without participating in the graduation ceremony. Finished up what courses she needed to graduate online, far away from Ross. She'd made up some excuse to her family.
"Mary, tell me what happened."
"I was getting ready to come see you. I had...things laid out on my bed. I couldn't wait and I was careless. I walked into the room and Brian was holding our journal. He was flipping through the pages." She dropped her head into her hands. "You don't know...the terrible things he said. I never should have left it out." She raised her head to look at him, the horror of those moments shooting through her. "He was going to tell Dad, he was going to ruin any chance you had of keeping your job. He was going to ruin your career if I didn't stop seeing you. I couldn't let that happen, Ross. You'd worked too hard for it."
"Sonofabitch!" Ross shot across the couch and gathered her into his arms. "Dammit to hell!" He tilted her face up to his. "I'm sorry he did that to you, but you should have come to me. Do you really think anything was more important to me than you? Yes, I loved working with the law, but I'd have given it all up for you. I loved you, Agnes Mary, and I was going to ask you to marry me. But you left without a word."
"I couldn't take the chance, Ross. It doesn't take much to set my father off and with the way Brian would have twisted it, I just couldn't gamble with your future. They wouldn't have understood."
He brushed her hair away from her face and tilted her head back. He brushed his lips across hers in a chaste kiss. "I can take care of myself. You should have come to me. We should have faced it together."
"Maybe I was too young, Ross. He's my big brother, and at that moment all I could see was him bringing the wrath of the whole family down on you. Don't you see? I was the poisoned arrow, but I had the power to deflect it, to keep you safe. And I did what I thought was right at the time."
He cupped her face and looked into her eyes. "Did you feel disgusted at what we felt for each other? Did you come to think what we did was twisted?"
She paused for a moment, wanted to use the right words, to make him understand the way she hadn't been able to make Brian see. "I loved you, Ross. The intimacies we shared, the way we shared, was ours and no one else's. You made me feel like a whole person when I was with you. Whether you were deep inside me, filling me so completely, or when you were simply touching me, you were always the other part of who I was." She reached up to touch his jaw. "Nothing we ever did could make me feel disgusted. My brother and his twisted definition made me angry. But at the time, I couldn't see any way out. If I went to you, I knew you'd try to protect me and you'd sacrifice your dreams. I couldn't let you do that."
"What about now, Mary?"
She tilted her head to look at him. "Why did you come here, Ross? Why did you really transfer?"
He was silent before answering. Then he sighed. "Because I knew you were here and from what I discovered, it looked like you were still single. I had to find out. I had to see you once more."
"You checked on me, didn't you?"
"I couldn't help myself. Does that make you feel uncomfortable?"
"Ross, nothing you do to me has ever made me uncomfortable."
"I had to find out why and see if there was still a chance."
She smiled. "I think that's part of who you are and why you became a crime scene investigator. You can't leave any pebble unturned, can you?"
"I guess you're right. But you're not a job to me, Mary. You're my life. And I had to find out once and for all what really happened between us and if I could make it right. I had to find out if I'd scared you somehow."
"Oh, no, Ross. Never."
"What happened with your brother?"
She sighed deeply, remembering. "I gave him my word I'd stop seeing you as long as he didn't try to make trouble for you. I accepted his ultimatum. I didn't see any other way." She inhaled. "He went back to the seminary, but I didn't see much of him after that." She paused for a moment, shaking her head. "About a year ago he left the priesthood." She looked up at Ross. "He fell in love with a woman he'd met. They now have a baby daughter and from what my mother says, she's never seen him so happy."
"You didn't talk with him."
"I haven't been able to forgive him for what he wanted to do to you. I know I should--he's my brother, and in my own way, I do love him. But I simply can't forgive him for making me give you up. I'm glad he's found someone to make him happy."
"I love you, Mary."
"I love you, too, Ross. That's never changed. It never will. Touch me the way you used to. Please."
"Are you certain? Because it won't end with just a touch, you know that. I came back for you, Agnes Mary. I won't leave without possessing every inch of you. And this time, it means a lifetime. I won't accept less."
She leaned back against the couch, shifted her hips to the edge and spreading her legs. Not many people got second chances. She wasn't going to squander this one.
She smiled and suddenly her whole body seemed to be engulfed by flame as his hands spread her and his fingers gripped her calf and she felt her juices flow as his hand danced along and warmed the anklet, pressing the charm into the hollow of her flesh. Love flowed back into her life in undulating waves--just the way she liked it. And this time she would allow it to claim her with everything she had.
Adrianna Dane
Theresa Gallup uses the pen names of Tess Maynard and Adrianna Dane. Theresa has been writing since the age of 10. A legal secretary for 30 years, she is currently working on another erotic romance, as well as a full-length romantic mystery/suspense. She has been married for 30 years and has three grown children (a daughter and twin sons), and is a new grandmother.
Writing as Tess Maynard, her first published short story appeared in the ezine, The Whispering Forest, in January of 2004. Writing as Adrianna Dane, where adding sensual heat to romance is her motto, Esmerelda's Secret was her first foray into the erotic romance genre.
Having traveled and lived from the East Coast to the West Coast, Theresa receives inspiration
for her stories from a variety of sources, including music and poetry, and her tastes are eclectic.
For more information about current projects, visit Theresa's web sites at www.tessmaynard.com or www.adriannadane.com
* * * *
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Submissives Aurora and Tad mourn the loss of their beloved mistress. Two years after her death, although they have each other and the club Mistress Martine left to Aurora, it doesn't seem to be enough. Something is missing. Enter Master Constantine Jardine...
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