We've Always Got New York

by Jill Knapp

  It was noon on Saturday and I had just woken up. I had spent the night in Cassandra’s guest room. After she persuaded me to go out to Fire Island last night, the two of us came back to her place. I caught her while she was heading to the kitchen to make coffee. She was wearing gray sweatpants and an oversized men’s T-shirt. Her freshly colored blonde hair was hanging straight to the middle of her back.

  Apart from Michael’s, Cassie had my favorite apartment in the city. From what I had seen of my friends’ homes, at least. She lived downtown, in Chelsea. A convenient five-minute cab ride to most of the NYU buildings. Her apartment building was a walk-up, but she only lived on the third floor, so taking the stairs wasn’t too bad. At least not until you were coming home tipsy in three-inch heels. I was currently parked in my pajamas on her white suede couch. Unlike Cassandra, I hadn’t drank anything last night. I felt crappy enough from the jet-lag.

  “Can I let you know?” she asked, reaching for the kettle. “It’s just that I might have a date with this guy Brandon.” She wasn’t making eye contact and her overall demeanor suggested she was distracted by something. I just chalked it up to her being tired. We were out until very late last night. Cassandra had dragged me out to a bar and wouldn’t even think about leaving until last call.

  “Brandon? Who is this Brandon? Tell me about him!” I jumped up from the couch and joined Cassie in the kitchen area. It had been all summer since Cassie had regaled me with tales from her dating world, and I was chomping at the bit to hear one.

  “What’s to tell?” She carefully peeled a banana.

  “What’s to tell?” I laughed. “How about everything? For starters, how old is he?”

  “I think he’s thirty-one,” she offered, taking the now-whistling kettle off the electric stove top.

  “Well, where does he work?” I smiled, trying to encourage Cassandra to dish. “And more importantly, how did you meet?”

  “He works in advertising.”

  I nodded and waved my hands around, gesturing for her to continue. She handed me a mug and motioned for me to sit on one of the counter stools.

  “Did you meet at some fabulous work party?” I joked. One of the perks of Cassie’s job was that she always had an invite to the opening of one of Manhattan’s up-and-coming hot spots. She had been working at the magazine ever since college, and it seemed with each passing year her job became more and more demanding. But at the same time more rewarding.

  “I wouldn’t exactly say fabulous, but yes. We met at a new bar that just opened on the Lower East Side,” she explained, sipping her coffee.

  I smiled but felt myself cringe at the same time. The Lower East Side had to be my least- favorite neighborhood in all of Manhattan. It was littered with “up-and-coming” bars and night clubs, which I referred to as “seedy-chic” establishments. I thought back to the Manhattan I knew when I was a kid. I always thought of it as classy and romantic. Like an old black-and-white movie. Or at least that’s how everyone pretended it was. I wondered when we traded in our Audrey Hepburn phase for a more dilapidated version of New York.

  “Do you like him?” I asked, encouraging Cassie to move the conversation along. “Is he your type?”

  She just nodded and smiled.

  I waited a few more seconds for her to tell me all of the juicy details, as usual, but she just sat quietly finishing her coffee and banana. I stared at her for a moment and tried to read her facial expression. She was acting unusual. Usually after a date she’d give me a play by play of the night’s events, down to the brand of lipstick she had chosen. Instead, she continued to sit quietly until a few seconds later, when her phone buzzed, and she reached for it with her free hand and was soon completely absorbed in the email.

  “Hey, Cassie,” I stared. “Is everything alright?”

  “Of course,” she said, collecting the now-empty coffee mugs. The mugs were black; part of a matching set her mother had given her when she first moved into this apartment. Along with coordinating bowls and dishes. She crossed over to me and gave me a weary smile. “Why wouldn’t it be?”

  I know she was trying to come off as being polite, but the question sounded more like a challenge.

  “I’m not sure,” I said quietly. I tucked my hair behind my ears and shrugged. “The thing is, I just got back from my trip. And you don’t really seem all that happy to see me.”

  I wasn’t sure why, but I felt nervous bringing this up to her. Cassandra and I could usually talk about anything. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, but something about her seemed different.

  She rinsed off the mugs and walked back over to the counter top.

  “I am happy to see you,” she uttered, sounding exasperated. She started fidgeting with her long blonde hair, pulling it in and out of a ponytail. “I am just really stressed out with work, and I’m not even sure what time I am going out on this date on Sunday. I absolutely want to spend time with you, I have just been really busy lately.”

  “Of course. I understand,” I replied, quietly studying her laminate counter top. Her explanation had sounded more like a scolding. I wasn’t sure why she was acting this way, but my gut told me something strange was definitely going on.

  “Listen, if anything changes I’ll let you know,” she offered. She wasn’t even looking at me now, her attention was completely dominated by her cell phone.

  “Sure. No problem,” I grimaced.

  I waited a few more seconds and then, without Cassie even noticing, I slipped off the counter stool and headed back to her guest room.

  Chapter 4

  Olivia

  I had just gotten off the phone with my dad when I heard a loud, urgent knock on my door. I glanced at the clock, four in the afternoon. I wasn’t expecting anyone. When I opened the door, I was shocked to see Amalia. She was standing there with a suitcase and a broken smile. Her curly blonde hair was frizzier than usual, and her blue eyes were wet and red. She had either just been crying or she was coming down with the flu.

  “Holy crap! What are you doing here?” I gasped.

  She rolled her puffy eyes and placed her suitcase on the floor, all the while still standing in my doorway.

  “I’m back!” she said, with faux enthusiasm. “Did you miss me?”

  “Yes, I can see that. Well, welcome back!” I pulled her in for a hug. “I thought you were staying with Cassandra!”

  “Well, I am. I mean, I was,” she mumbled. “I think. I’m not sure anymore.” She paused for a moment. “I don’t think I want to stay with her.”

  “What do you mean? Why not?” I motioned for her to come inside. “Did something happen?”

  Amalia sat down on my couch and ran her fingers through her hair. I think she noticed how frizzy it was becoming because seconds later she pulled a small mirror from her purse and tried to smooth it out.

  “Well, I got there last night and she just seemed so distracted. I mean I understand everyone has their own shit going on, but I had just come home after being gone for three months!” she said, her eyes tearing up. She took a deep breath, steadying herself, and began again. “I wanted to just crash when I landed, but she dragged me out to Fire Island until four in the morning! I have no idea who any of the people were that she was hanging out with. In all seriousness, she flat-out ignored me the whole time we were there. I mean, I just got back to New York and I figured she’d want to spend some time with her best friend, you know?”

  I opened my mouth to speak, but she wasn’t done yet.

  “And then this morning, I’m trying to ask her about this guy she ’might have a date with‘, and she acts like I’m the C.I.A debriefing her on her latest mission. I don’t know what’s going on with her, but I don’t feel comfortable staying there. I don’t feel welcomed.”

  I shook my head. “I don’t understand why she acted that way,” I offered, genuinely unsure.

  “I don’t either. It’s like she’s changed. Or something,” she muttered, shaking her head. Her face was washed with di
sbelief and anxiety. “Did the two of you hang out at all this summer while I was gone?”

  “No. I haven’t seen her since that day at your apartment when we all said goodbye to you,” I said. Amalia sunk her shoulders. “I’m sorry, I wish I had more to go on.”

  She looked at the floor and then back up to me. Her eyes started to water-up again, but she shook her head in an effort to compose herself.

  “Great to be back,” she mumbled with a cracking voice.

  “You must be exhausted,” I placed my hand lightly on her back. “Do you want some tea?”

  “That would be great, thank you.”

  I walked into the kitchen and turned on the electric kettle, a little gift from Alex. Looking back at Amalia, who was now holding her head in her hands and shaking her head. She had come so far last year, realizing she didn’t want to put up with Michael’s indecision anymore. Last year was a nightmare for her. She had gotten dumped cold by her boyfriend, Nicholas, only to fall head over heels for Michael. We all knew Michael had a girlfriend who lived in Arizona, but he kept his personal life so private I could see how easily Amalia could have put it in the back of her mind. From my perspective, he strung her along all semester. When he finally decided to break up with his girlfriend, Marge, Amalia was already packed and ready to leave for her trip to Brazil. I was so proud of her for not abandoning her plans. After all her growth and self-discovery, it was hard for me to see her have to deal with Cassandra’s selfish personality.

  “Where are you going to stay?” I called from the kitchen.

  She let out a soft, breathy laugh.

  “Well, it looks like I am heading back home to stay with my parents,” she called to me. “I haven’t even spoken to them since I left, so that should be interesting.”

  I could see new tears forming in her eyes. Between the crying and her unkempt disposition, she looked like a crazy person.

  “It’s fine, really,” she waved her hand and let out a soft hiccup. “I mean it only takes about 15 minutes by train for me to get to the ferry, and then it’s only half an hour on the ferry itself. Followed by another 20 minutes on the subway and then a short 10-minute walk to school.” Her hands were starting to shake. I wondered how long it had been since she last ate something. “So you know, if I have class at 8 in the morning, I have to leave my house by about 6:30 just to play it safe. But hey, I’ve always been a fan of watching the sun rise.”

  Her eyes were wide and unblinking. She brought her hands up to her face and just left them there, as if she needed to hold her head up to stop it falling off. It was obvious that she was desperately exhausted, probably still jet-lagged.

  “Don’t be ridiculous,” I said, pouring the now-boiled water. “You can stay here for a few days.”

  “Are you serious?” she said, suddenly perking up. She removed her hands from her face and clapped them together. “I won’t be in your way, I promise.”

  I laughed and handed her my old University of Florida mug that I got at orientation my first day of college.

  “I’m completely serious. It’s not a big deal at all,” I said. “But you might want to avoid any further homelessness by finding an apartment of your own.”

  I always wondered why Amalia got rid of that fantastic apartment she had in the Village. I assumed it was because of all the bad memories. Or the high cost. Money was something our group very rarely talked about. We all just sat in silent wonder about how the other afforded their apartment.

  “I think I’ll grab The Village Voice while I’m out today and start checking some listings,” she offered.

  “That’s a good idea,” I sipped my green tea. “You know what else might be a good idea?”

  “What?” she asked.

  “A shower.”

  Chapter 5

  Amalia

  I slept throughout the night. Hard. A solid eight hours had never felt so good. Bright and early the next morning, I began my quest for the perfect apartment. There was no possible way I could move back in with my parents and survive the school year. Or just survive in general. Being twenty-three and living with your parents isn’t something I’d wish on anyone, especially not in New York.

  Like anyone shopping around for a new place to call home, I had a few requirements. To begin with, I preferably wanted a one-bedroom. I’d settle for a studio if it was all I could afford, but the one thing I did not want anymore was roommates. Overall, Christina was fine. She was respectful and quiet. Liz, on the other hand, was a terrible roommate. Completely inconsiderate and rude. I felt like it was time to try living on my own. I craved the privacy.

  The next requirement was that it be close to school. Anything higher than 40th Street, and I’d have to rush to get to class on time every day. Unfortunately my school was located in Washington Square Park, which was anything but affordable, so living in that neighborhood wasn’t an option. And finally, and most importantly, I would not even consider living in any other borough. That meant no Astoria, no Bushwick, and definitely no Long Island City. And don’t even think about uttering the words Hoboken, New Jersey, to me. I told Olivia all of these requirements over breakfast in her apartment this morning, to which she scratched her head, pursed her lips, and said, “Good luck with that.”

  With Olivia’s help, I had three viewings lined up this afternoon. Originally it was four, but when the words “up-and-coming neighborhood in Brooklyn” fell out of her mouth, I quickly emailed the real-estate agent to put the kibosh on it. One apartment I was viewing was a studio close to school in the West Village, another was a one-bedroom in Murray Hill, and the third was a studio that was somehow ”converted” into a one-bedroom in Hell’s Kitchen. The last one in Hell’s Kitchen was far from school, but I conceded to a viewing just to make Olivia happy.

  After a quick caffeine-fix at Bourbon Coffee on 6th Avenue, we made our way up to 7th Avenue and then walked a few blocks down to check out the first apartment in the Village.

  “315,” I said, squinting up at the address on the top of the building. “This is it.”

  It was one of those last truly warm days of summer. In about two weeks, fall would kick in and the city would go back to normal. Gray, windy, and cold. Today, the sun was glaring down on me, reminding me of the strong rays I felt in Brazil.

  “How’s Aaron doing?” Olivia asked quickly, as if she forgot my brother existed. Aaron and I had gotten much closer last year when his girlfriend broke up with him. He spent some time sleeping on my couch and bonding with my friends. Even though he was a few years younger than me, he was mature enough to hold his own in Manhattan any day of the week.

  “He’s good,” I replied. “Busy with school.”

  “Yeah,” she muttered. “Aren’t we all?”

  “I miss him, though. Hopefully he comes for a visit soon.”

  “What about Cassandra?” Olivia asked, holding the door open for me. “Have you spoken to her?”

  The bleak, gray apartment building wasn’t very tall, maybe about five or six storeys high. I could see as soon as we entered that it was a walk-up.

  “Not since I called her to let her know I was staying with you,” I said, climbing up the first set of stairs. Each step made a loud, echoing sound throughout the empty stairwell. “And by called her, I mean rambled to her voicemail because she didn’t answer the phone. She hasn’t actually called me back, either.”

  “When was this?” Olivia asked, holding onto the banister with each step.

  “Last night,” I answered. “You had already fallen asleep.”

  “I’m surprised she hasn’t called you back yet,” she grimaced as we made our way up the second flight of stairs. “She’s still your best friend.”

  “Believe me, no one’s more surprised than I am,” I puffed. I took a deep breath and held it in for a second. I stopped short and grabbed the metal railing for balance. “Okay, no more talking until we get to the fourth floor.”

  Olivia let out a long breath and nodded in agreement. A short ete
rnity later, and one quick realization of just how out of shape I was, we made it to apartment number 427 and knocked on the door. A short, dark-haired guy answered. He was wearing a checkered button-down with the sleeves rolled up, tight jeans, and a pair of Converse sneakers. He rubbed his blood-shot eyes, and reached toward a small table by the front door of his apartment, retrieving a pair of thick, black-rimmed glasses. He looked like someone who was rejected from the line at the Limelight back in 1989.

  “Hey,” was all he managed to spit out. He peeked his head out past the threshold and darted his eyes around the poorly lit hallway.

  I turned to Olivia and raised my eyebrows, but she remained cool and composed.

  “Hi, I’m Olivia Davis,” she said, politely extending her right hand and gave the guy a warm smile.

  The guy turned his attention back to us, but stared at her blankly.

  “We spoke on the phone about renting the apartment,” she continued, sounding a little more annoyed.

  “Oh right!” he said, suddenly coming to life. “I’m Eddie, uh, come on in.”

  We walked into the dim apartment and were immediately hit with thick, blanketed air. I turned to Olivia and made a fanning motion with my hand in front of my nose.

  “Did we interrupt something?” I asked, my eyes darting to a half-smoked joint burning in the ashtray.

  “Oh shit,” he sprung over to the coffee table. “I must have forgotten to put that out. I’m sorry, I thought you were coming over at 4 o’clock.”

  “It is 4 o’clock,” Olivia answered softly.

  There was a brief moment of silence. Eddie laughed nervously and walked over to the window, struggling with it until it opened. It made a shrill sound as it slid up, and Olivia and I both winced. I made eye contact with Olivia, who was now shaking her head. The apartment was very small, about the size of my childhood bedroom. The floors looked like fake hardwood and were actually starting to peel up in some corners. The walls were painted gray, but had more than a few white spackle marks covering some decent-sized holes. The fake granite-looking counter top had a red stain on it, which appeared to be permanent, and the refrigerator had a moderately sized dent in the middle. There was no couch, just an old futon, which appeared to function as both a sitting and bedroom area. The only thing missing was a swinging bare light bulb and a rotting corpse in the corner.