We've Always Got New York

by Jill Knapp

  “Where did you go?” I asked in a worried tone. I tried to keep my voice from shaking, but I wasn’t having the best of luck.

  “I walked around for a bit,” he replied. “Then I went back to Roosevelt Island and went to a bar.”

  “By yourself?” I asked. I wanted to go easy on him because I could see he was upset, but the idea of Alex out at a bar alone made my stomach uneasy.

  “Yep,” he avoided making eye contact with me.

  I bit my lip and took a step closer to him. Even unshowered and unshaved, he was still handsome.

  “What were you doing in a bar by yourself?” I put some strength into my voice. “And I get that you’re sorry, but you had me worried sick about you.”

  “I wasn’t out trying to pick up some girl, if that’s what you’re worried about,” he spat out.

  I took a step back and shook my head, shocked by the venomous way he was talking to me.

  “Actually, the thought hadn’t crossed my mind,” I lied. Alex was a hot guy, with his own apartment. There would be girls lining up around the block to make him feel better after a blow-out with his girlfriend. “What I am worried about is you. You don’t answer my calls, you’re going to bars alone, and now you’re skipping class! Is all of this really because your dad’s in town?”

  “I don’t know,” he rubbed the back of his neck. “Maybe.”

  A group of students walked by and snickered at our conversation. I could tell they were undergrads and probably had no idea who we were, but it still bothered me.

  “Great now people are involving themselves in our private conversations,” I said. “I am just going to go. This is exactly what I didn’t want.”

  “What do you mean?” he asked, finally meeting my gaze. “What don’t you want?

  I sighed and reached into my bag for a cigarette. I really needed one, and possibly a drink too.

  “I didn’t want my private life,” I pointed at him and then back at myself, “and my school life to affect each other.”

  “Right, the reason you wanted to keep our relationship a secret,” he growled. Alex had a hurt look in eyes, but his vehement behavior kept my sympathy at bay.

  “Well maybe I was right,” I countered. “Now if you’ll excuse me, some of us actually have to attend class today.”

  Before he could engage me any further, I trudged past him without looking back and flicked my still-lit cigarette into the street. I couldn’t believe we had gotten into another argument. I expected him to show up and beg for my forgiveness; I guess that wasn’t happening. Through my anger, I saw Angela across the street by the library typing on her phone. I decided her company was better than no company and made a beeline for where she was standing. When I got over to her, she pulled me in for a hug and practically jumped up in the air.

  “What’s going on?” I asked her. “Why are you so happy?

  She stepped out of the hug and flipped her long, brown hair.

  “Because I just got invited to some big magazine party this weekend.” She clapped her hands together. “And you’re never going to guess who I’m bringing as my date!”

  Chapter 13

  Amalia

  “Amy! Glad you made it,” Cassandra gave me a quick hug in between reaching for a glass of red wine and waving to one of her co-workers. “I want to introduce you to someone.”

  Olivia and I arrived at the party only twenty minutes past the invitation time, but the whole place was already in full swing. I recognized no one but eventually found Cassie holding court in the back of the bar. She was surrounded by industry types: super-thin women and the rich, gorgeous men who always followed them wherever they went. Or maybe it was the other way around. While Olivia and I opted for a more casual look of skinny jeans and kitten heels, Cassandra was fully decked out wearing a tight, gold dress, four-inch Jimmy Choo’s, and black opaque stockings underneath. I immediately felt underdressed and a little annoyed that Cassandra hadn’t made me aware of the more posh dress code. I saw her smile and reach her hand out to a tall guy wearing a dark blazer and a burgundy button-down. He had dark-brown, almost black, hair and chestnut- colored eyes. He looked a few years older than us and right away I knew this must be the new guy in her life.

  “This is Brandon,” she beamed. “Brandon, this is my oldest friend Amalia. Oh! And this is her friend from graduate school, Olivia.”

  I wondered when I had been demoted from best friend to “oldest” friend. It must have been around the same time she went nearly two weeks without contacting me. I let out a soft sigh and longed for the days when we told each other everything.

  “Hi,” Olivia gave a small wave. Her eyes were downcast. She had told me earlier that she and Alex had barely spoken since their second fight in front of school. I had dragged her out to this party in an attempt to take her mind off things.

  “Nice to meet you,” I held out my hand. Cassandra gave Brandon a quick kiss on the cheek and then winked at me.

  “It’s nice to meet you both,” he shook my hand firmly. “So, where do you two go to school?”

  I was a little taken aback by the question. Surely Cassandra had mentioned where I went to school at least once.

  “We go to NYU,” I answered. I searched his face for a glimmer of recognition. There was none.

  I turned back to Cassandra, who was already deep in conversation with a pretty brunette woman in her mid-forties. I assumed it was her boss. Olivia looked down at her feet and then back up at me. I smiled nervously and then turned back to Brandon. I opened my mouth to ask him about his job, but by the time I did he was already talking to someone else.

  “Remind me again why we came to this thing?” Olivia asked, leading me to the bar.

  “Because I was foolish enough to believe that Cassie wanted me here.” I answered solemnly. “And because I thought it would be a good idea to mingle and get your mind off Alex. I’m sorry.” I shrugged. “At least the drinks are free.”

  I looked around at the crowded venue. There were so many people laughing, shaking hands, and buying each other drinks. To the untrained eye, it appeared completely normal. Like any other Saturday night festivities. But to me it just looked utterly vacuous. Almost staged.

  “Can you get me a rum and coke?” Olivia asked while digging through her purse. “I’m just going to go to the bathroom.”

  “You’re going outside to smoke, aren’t you?” I asked with a smirk.

  “Shut up,” she smiled and blew me a kiss. “I love ya.”

  I laughed and turned to the bartender, who was surprisingly not overwhelmed with patrons.

  “What can I get you?” he asked, sounding slightly annoyed. I couldn’t blame him, I wouldn’t want to be serving these people all night either.

  “Can I get a rum and coke and also a Jack and ginger?”

  “Coming right up,” he grabbed the rum and then walked to the other end of the bar to retrieve the whiskey.

  “You’re not drinking both of those yourself are you?” asked a voice from behind me. I rolled my eyes. I was not in the mood to get hit on.

  “Nope,” I answered without turning around. “One’s for my friend.” I really wasn’t in the mood to get hit on.

  “You sure, Amalia? I bet you could handle it.”

  I turned around just as someone bumped into Michael, forcing the two of us to collide. Even in small kitten heels I was as clumsy as ever.

  “Are you alright?” Michael asked, holding onto my shoulders so I wouldn’t fall.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked, ignoring his question. I hated being in such close proximity with him. Mainly because as soon as our skin touched, I immediately felt flushed. I could feel my face burning and quickly lowered my head so my hair would cover my cheeks.

  “I’m here with Angela,” he answered coyly. “As her date.”

  I instantly straightened myself out and smoothed down my shirt. “Oh,” was all I could muster.

  “You look really nice,” he smiled. I couldn’t
help but notice he looked really nice himself. Like most of the people there, he was more dressed up than usual. He had on a tailored black suit with a crisp baby-blue shirt, and a Burberry patterned tie.

  “Here are your drinks, ma’am,” spat out the bartender. I reached for them and shot him a look as I took a sip. Great, on top of everything else now I was being called ma’am.

  “Where is she?” I stammered. I couldn’t help but feel jealous. The entire time Michael and I were hooking up, he always belonged to someone else. He had never taken me as his date to anything. And I guess he never would.

  “Who? Angela?” he asked, motioning for the bartender to come back around. “I think she’s in the bathroom.”

  A moment later, Olivia and Angela walked out of the bathroom, laughing with each other like they had just heard the funniest thing in the world. Angela gave Olivia a light punch on the arm and Olivia wiped under her eyes where her eye make-up had ran from laughing so hard.

  “Hey, look who I found!” Olivia said brightly. Her entire mood had livened up. I felt a pang of jealousy.

  “Hi, Amalia,” Angela smiled without looking at me. Maybe I was imagining it, but there was a certain hint of pride in her voice. Almost like she thought she was winning.

  “Hey. I didn’t know you’d be here,” I said as politely as I could. I handed Olivia her drink and took another sip of mine.

  “Yeah, I always go to these parties,” she uttered nonchalantly. Like Cassandra, she too was dressed up. She wore a bright-red dress, patent-leather Tory Burch flats, and her hair was frizz-free and glistening with stage-worthy curls. Her dark skin looked flawless against the bright color, which only added to my insecurities about my own choice of outfit. “My friend Deacon is a model and he always tells me about these things.”

  “Oh,” I mumbled. “That’s lucky.”

  Olivia must have noticed my uncomfortable demeanor, because the next thing I knew she was dragging me outside with her.

  “We’ll be right back!” she ushered me to the front door, and I quickly placed my drink on a neighboring table. Olivia had already downed hers. Michael and Angela exchanged a confused look, but I ignored it. We fought our way past the crowd of twenty-somethings hanging outside until we reached the corner. The air was getting cooler. Even just a few days ago I would have been fine in a tank top. Now I felt like I needed a sweater.

  “What are you doing?” I pulled away from her grasp.

  “Where’s your phone?” she asked, looking me dead in the eyes.

  “It’s in my purse,” I raised a curious eyebrow. “Why?”

  “Because you’re drowning in there,” she said sympathetically. “Now I want you to get out your phone and call Hayden.”

  “What?” I rolled my eyes. “No, Olivia. I’m not going to lead him on like that.”

  “It’s either that or we leave,” she ordered. “Because you are going to be miserable all night, and I’m already miserable about Alex, so we can’t both be miserable. So get on your phone and ask that boy what he’s doing tonight and give Michael a taste of his own medicine.”

  “This is so juvenile,” I muttered as I dug through my handbag. “Are you drunk?”

  As I plucked out my phone. It began to vibrate with a message from Hayden. Olivia looked over and laughed. “Its fate!” she nudged me. “And no, I’m not drunk. Yet.”

  I shook my head and began to type back.

  “What did you say?” Olivia peered over my shoulder. She was nearly jumping up and down at this point, so clearly anxious to play match-maker.

  “I just told him where I was and asked him if he wanted to hang out,” I answered in a breezy tone. “I’m sure he already has plans, though.”

  A moment later my phone lit up with another message from Hayden. I smiled and began typing back.

  “Let me guess,” Olivia goaded. “He isn’t busy and he’ll be right here.”

  “Something like that,” I nodded. I couldn’t help but feel a little giddy. Hayden was a great guy. He was fun and easy to talk to. At the very least he’d make this party more enjoyable. Plus, there was always the added bonus of maybe making Michael jealous. “He’s coming from a friend’s apartment.

  “So he left somewhere else to come hang out with you?” Olivia practically squealed. “It must be love.”

  “No,” I laughed, dropping my phone back into my purse. “He must be bored. Now let’s go back inside. I want to try to grab Cassie’s attention again. I really want to try and re-connect with her if I can.”

  “Good luck with that,” Olivia mumbled as she held the door open for me.

  Within the ten minutes that Olivia and I were outside, the bar managed to house at least 30 more people. Fortunately, Cassandra was still hanging out in the back of the bar and I was able to spot her right away.

  “I’m just going to make a phone call,” Olivia said over the now louder music. “I’ll be right back.”

  I nodded and told her where I’d be. I made my way through a mob of sparkly dresses and ill-fitting suits. From what I could hear of the conversations, it was a chorus of men poorly delivering one-liners to bored-looking women. As I continued to make my way to Cassandra, I kept getting knocked into on every side. No one even bothered to look up or say excuse me.

  “Cassie!” I tapped her on the shoulder and she spun around.

  “Hey, honey! Are you having fun?” she sounded, but her eyes told me a different story. They seemed distracted and vacant.

  “Sure,” I lied through a wide smile. “This is a pretty huge turnout. What is this party for anyway?” More people knocked into me as I tried to hold Cassandra’s attention.

  “It’s for my boss’s boss, who got a big promotion,” she looked up and nodded, making sure she got the order right. “So now my boss, Leighton, has been promoted too, and the magazine is actually looking for someone else to promote to her old position!”

  “So does that mean you’re up for the promotion?” I asked, genuinely excited for her.

  “It’s why I’ve been working all of those late nights. But then again, so has everyone else.”

  “That’s fantastic!” I pulled her in for a hug. “Maybe we can get an early lunch tomorrow and you can tell me all about it before I move into my new apartment in the afternoon.”

  Cassandra’s eyes glazed over and her attention started to shift toward someone behind me. She giggled and gave them a small wave. I turned around, but couldn’t tell who she was communicating with.

  “Sweetie, I’d love to,” she answered quickly. “But I actually already have plans. Sometime next week?”

  “Sure,” I answered weakly. “Whenever you’re free.”

  “Thanks, hun!” she spun on her heel and darted toward a tall red-head in the middle of the crowd. I heard her say something in Italian to the woman, and soon they were completely out of ear shot.

  The room suddenly felt smaller as more and more people flooded in. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Michael talking to Angela. She was leaning in toward him, playing with her long, dark hair. I felt my stomach drop as I watched him smile brightly at her. I was resolved to call it a night when I found Hayden sandwiched in between two hipsters. When he noticed me, he gently nudged past them and gave me a hug. I felt so relieved to see him.

  “Wow,” he looked around the room. “This is some shindig you were invited to.”

  “It’s horrible,” I widened my eyes. “Do you want to get out of here?”

  He looked around one more time and then smiled.

  “Absolutely.”

  Chapter 14

  Olivia

  I looked in through the window at everyone having the time of their lives at this party, but all I felt was alone. Worst off, I hated myself for it. When had I become so needy?

  I hated fighting with Alex. I should be out enjoying this type of thing, but instead he had my mind all twisted up in terrible scenarios of what he might be doing, and who he might be doing it with. I tried his cell phone one more t
ime. It rang three times and then the voicemail picked up. I refused to leave another voicemail. I didn’t want to enter desperate territory. Even if it was how I felt.

  The door to the bar swung open and out came Amalia and Hayden, their eyes darting around like they were sneaking out of classes early. Hayden pointed to the subway entrance across the street and Amalia nodded.

  “Hey! Where are you two going?” I scampered over to them. “Are you just stepping outside for some air?”

  Amalia’s face turned white. Hayden blushed and looked at Amalia for help.

  “Um, no. We’re actually leaving,” she shrugged her shoulders. I crossed my arms and she bashfully looked down at the ground.

  “Wait a minute, you’re leaving?” I said in a deflated voice. “It was your idea to come here.”

  “I know it was my idea to come here,” she continued. “And I’m sorry but I can’t stay here and be ignored by Cassandra and be upset by Michael any longer.”

  “Who’s Michael?” Hayden crossed his arms defensively.

  “No one,” Amalia and I said in unison.

  “Fine,” I conceded. “I don’t know what’s going on with Cassandra either. She’s not being a very good friend to you right now. I guess I’ll just see you when you get back to my place tonight.”

  “Of course,” she smiled. “It’s the last night until I move into my new fabulous square box tomorrow.”

  “It’s better than sleeping on a couch,” Hayden chimed in. “No offence to your couch, Olivia. I’m sure it’s lovely.”

  “Thanks,” I said. “I guess.”

  I shot Amalia another look. She’d have to be blind and deaf not to know Hayden was into her. He left his friends to come straight here to see her, and how he was leaving the party without question. She was basically dragging him around like a loyal puppy, and from where I stood, he loved it.

  “You know it occurs to me, Hayden, that we haven’t been officially introduced,” I said in a mocking tone. “Although you do look kind of familiar.”