So Fair a Lady (Daughters of His Kingdom Book 1)

by Amber Lynn Perry

  “You mean Peter?” Thomas asked.

  Eliza jolted. “How do you know about him?”

  He smiled and leaned toward the fire, poking it with a stick. The flames rose higher and sparks smacked the air. He sat back in his chair while the lines around his eyes deepened as he offered a gentle smile. “I heard you calling for him when you were . . . recovering. I asked Kitty about it. All she told me was that Peter was the middle child, and had died when you all were still young. She said you took it very hard.”

  Eliza searched his caring face, suddenly overcome with the need to be folded in his embrace and forget all her fears and self-doubt. She shivered and told herself it was more from cold than from anything else. The floor-length nightgown did little to protect from the elements. As if he knew her thoughts, Thomas shot up and fetched a blanket from a small chest at the corner of the fireplace. He knelt in front of her and gently covered her frigid legs. He stalled, gripping the arms of the chair and his gaze traced her face as if she were some exquisite flower. Eliza’s muscles tightened and she sucked in a quick breath.

  What was he doing? The hunger she’d once seen in his eyes had returned with a powerful craving. He looked at her with such unmitigated desire, her heart nearly beat itself out of her chest.

  Suddenly he pushed to his feet, a startled look fleeting across his face. He rubbed the back of his neck then walked to his chair and sunk down without another look.

  Eliza forced her gaze to the fire and swallowed to wet her dry mouth.

  Thank goodness he’d moved when he did. She’d nearly lost her head and reached out to touch his face. His caring nature and alluring smile nearly toppled her already collapsing barricade of resistance.

  She snuck a peek at him as he continued giving his attention to the bright orange flames. The angular muscles in his face flexed as if he were struggling to fight something hidden. Her heart twirled behind her ribs. What if he felt the same as she? Could she possibly bring life to him, the way he did to her?

  The sporadic popping of the flames broke the thick silence, helping gather her scattered thoughts. Come now, Eliza. Be sensible. She had to keep her distance. Getting close would only make it more difficult when it came time for her to leave.

  Thomas wriggled in his chair and sat straighter, keeping his eyes forward. “Would you . . . like to talk about it?”

  Eliza’s brows rose then lowered again. His tone said he cared, while his posture said he wanted distance. Well, if he wasn’t going back to bed perhaps it would be best to talk about it, since he’d asked. They were to be “husband and wife” for a few weeks after all, why not share with him the painful recollection that pricked her memory day and night. It could only help, couldn’t it? She crossed her feet and pulled the soft shawl tighter.

  “Peter was a joy.” She gave a small silent laugh and spoke to her lap, afraid to look up. “He was pure male and let us know it. He wasn’t about to let two sisters dress him up and force him to play house.”

  Stopping, Eliza clenched the fabric in her fingers. “One day in late February—I was eleven at the time, Peter was nine and Kitty seven—we were making snow angels and throwing snowballs, having a grand time. Peter insisted that we play near the large pond at the back of our property behind the meadow.” She dared a glance at Thomas. As if sensing her gaze, he turned to look at her, orange shadows swaying across his face.

  A smile crossed his features that seemed to reach out to lift her drooping spirit, but she looked away before the tender gaze could trap her heart. She shouldn’t need him like this.

  After a deep breath to blow away the yearning, she continued. “Father had instructed us specifically not to play near the frozen pond, for obvious reasons, but Peter wouldn’t stop begging. Finally, I agreed—so long as he promised to stay away from the ice.” Pausing, she licked her lips. “Once at the pond, he pleaded to me, ‘Let me get on the ice, just near the edge, I know it will hold me!’ I refused to let him, until finally I’d had enough and I said, ‘Fine, Peter, but if you fall in, don’t tell me I didn’t warn you.’”

  She picked at a knot in the fringe of her shawl. “I watched him as he walked gingerly across the ice. The farther he went, the bigger his triumphant grin became.” The blood drained from her face. “In one terrifying moment he fell in, screaming. I froze with fear. I didn’t know what to do. We were so far from the house that no one could hear us if I called out. I thought a thousand things all at once. I should have told Mother and Father where we were going. I should have obeyed Father’s rules and I should not have given in to Peter’s prodding to go to the pond. I should have never let him get on the ice. I stared in horror at his flailing arms, the ice breaking around him. He continued calling for me to help him, but I was paralyzed. I knew if I went on the ice I’d fall in as well, which would do him no good and it would take too long to run to the house and get help . . .”

  A warm hand covered hers. At that moment, she looked up and her breath caught. The lines framing Thomas’s masculine brow grew deep and a tiny smile nudged up on one side of his mouth.

  Her heart lurched.

  He squeezed her fingers as if he sensed she needed strength and wanted to massage a bit of courage into her spirit. “Go on.”

  Moving his hand back to his own knee, he nodded while Eliza tried not to think how cold her hand was without his. Thomas’s desire to help, if that was his desire, worked to give her heart courage and her voice found its footing again on a small stool of bravery.

  “God must have warned Father, because he appeared out of nowhere. Running with all his might he yelled at Peter to stay calm and that he would get him out. He grabbed a long dead branch and went to the side of the pond where the water was shallow and Peter could more easily reach the branch. Father stomped through the ice until the water reached his knees and he called out to Peter to grab onto the branch. Peter had just enough strength and Father pulled him onto the ice, then lifted him in his arms and carried him to the house.”

  She raised her eyes toward Thomas. The intensity in his stare drew the rest of the words from her heart like a spring. “I could see Peter shaking from cold, and I know Father must have been freezing as well, but he didn’t show it.

  “Once inside, Mother and Father got him out of his wet clothes and did their best to stop him from freezing. Mother warmed some blankets and heated water for him to drink. Father never reprimanded us for disobeying. I always supposed he knew how sorry we were. Peter’s body warmed quickly enough, and we almost thought he would recover without any trouble. Then he developed a terrible cough. He died two weeks later.”

  Eliza flung a hand to her mouth when her voice caught. She couldn’t cry in front of Thomas. Taking a long breath, Eliza moved to put her hand in her lap, but he caught her fingers in his, this time wrapping both of his strong hands around hers as if cupping her heart.

  His grip tightened around her slender fingers. “I’m so sorry.”

  No longer able to fight the emotions that crashed within, she swiveled in her chair to face him. “By not being more careful, by not knowing what to do, I felt I had cost Peter his life. I promised myself, from that moment on, that I would do my best to care for Kitty—no matter what happened.”

  “And you have done just that, Eliza.” Inching closer, Thomas’s deep voice cradled her insecurities and gave her strength to say all that yearned to be said.

  “I promised Father I would not fail him. He asked me to search out the truth. But I’m afraid that I won’t know what the truth is when I find it. Or when I do, I’m afraid I won’t have the courage to embrace it. Then, what if I end up hurting Kitty through what I choose to follow? What if . . .”

  Thomas brushed a stand of hair behind her ear, silencing the endless stream of words at his touch. “Eliza, you can make important decisions and care for Kitty just the way she needs. I’ve seen you do it. Don’t worry about bringing harm to Kitty through choices that you make. You won’t. I know you always do your best for her—
and everyone else. Leave the rest to God.”

  He scooted forward on his seat until their knees touched and Eliza’s breathing increased with every inhale. What was he doing? His smooth tone dropped low, drawing her closer. “Eliza, you’re the most courageous woman I know. I have no doubt you will find the truth. And that you’ll embrace it when you do.”

  Eliza’s heart thrashed so wildly it stole the blood from her head. She needed to move away, but somehow she moved closer.

  And so did he.

  Before she could stop it, he leaned forward and covered her mouth with his own. The cushion of his smooth lips molding against hers sent a thrilling spray of tingles over her skin and a muted squeak escaped her throat.

  If this was heaven, she’d found it.

  He should stop, but the intoxicating sensation of Eliza’s hot breath on Thomas’s face dominated him, and he could think of nothing else. Nothing but kissing her. The world around him stopped and he moved both hands to cup her smooth cheeks as he continued to taste her lips. She pressed into his kiss, moving her own delicate hands to his face. Sampling the sweetness her mouth was the biggest mistake he’d ever made. Just one would never be enough.

  Reluctant, Thomas pulled away, aching for more, but knowing he must stop now or he never would. His rapid breathing matched hers and they stared at each other in bewildered silence while the mischievous fire crackled on, as if glad to be the only voyeur.

  Her lips parted, her breath catching, and he wanted to believe she was begging him to lean forward and begin again.

  Reality suddenly smacked him across the face. The more probable fact was that she was upset by his forwardness. After all, she’d wanted a friend to talk to, not a lover to ravish her.

  Before he could do any more damage, he stood and walked to the fireplace, then dropped two more logs on the dying embers. Trying to calm the raging flood in his veins, he stared and laughed inwardly at the sparks that flew in the air. That kiss had generated sparks a hundred times more numerous than the ones popping before him.

  “Forgive me, Eliza,” he said, still facing the flames and in as calm as voice as he could manage. “That was dreadfully inappropriate of me.”

  He looked over his shoulder. Eliza gripped the shawl around her with such intensity, her knuckles were white, her gaze in her lap. An emotion swept across her face as she peered up at him. She looked hurt.

  Fool! Now he’d gone and made it worse. Why couldn’t he have left his emotions where they belonged? She would be all too glad to get away from him as soon as she could. He must stop allowing his heart to direct his actions instead of his head.

  “Don’t worry,” he said. “Just because we’re allowing people to think we’re husband and wife doesn’t mean I’ll treat you as such.” He exhaled loud, trying to expel his self-directed anger. “It won’t happen again.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  The two weeks following Thomas’s bewitching kiss dragged on as if they were two years. That blissful, fleeting moment all but consumed Eliza’s mind. There were times when she relived it, springing to life the same beautiful passions she’d relished when his lips had touched hers.

  Now, he refused to talk to her, except to offer a muted greeting and hardly even looked in her direction. She couldn’t deny the powerful yearning between them and she was sure he’d felt it too. So why did he avoid her as if she was some horrid disease? Samuel’s kiss had produced but a single drop of wanting in comparison to the oceans of desire that Thomas swelled within her.

  The days were short now and many of their evenings were spent in front of the fire. Eliza would read aloud while Kitty sewed or mended in the dim light. Thomas kept busy with extraneous tasks far away from their presence.

  Eliza craved his closeness but employed her acting skills and kept aloof. She sent him only tiny smiles when he walked by, pretended she didn’t hear him come in the room, and forced herself not to look at him if he joined them by the fire. It took all her strength to not allow her eyes to linger on his kind face, and smile the way he made her want to smile.

  One bitter cold evening, Thomas came into the main room and placed a large pile of fresh cut logs near the hearth. He bent and arranged the wood, while the fire made alluring shadows dance across his face. She noticed the evening whiskers that covered his jaw and chin, and how bits of his long dark hair freed themselves from the ribbon that held them in place behind his head.

  To her surprise, he started talking. “I’ve asked Nathaniel to join us for a special dinner on Sunday evening. I hope that will be agreeable to you. I think it would be enjoyable for us to have a little change of pace and celebrate your recovery, Eliza.”

  What? He’d actually addressed her! She sent a fleeting glance to Kitty. From her wide-eyed expression, her sister could not believe it either. This must be a positive sign. And since they could do nothing but stay in the house every hour of the day, a change would be more than welcome.

  So he had noticed she was doing much better. Of course he must have, but he’d never breathed a word of it since he had stopped his constant attentions at her bedside.

  Thomas turned from his crouched position in front of the pile of logs and peered at both she and Kitty, an arm draped over his knee. If he had thought about her that much, the least she could do was show him her gratitude.

  Meeting his gaze, Eliza allowed herself to smile as wide as she wanted. She thought his sapphire eyes filled with longing, but before she could be sure he looked away and turned his attention to Kitty.

  “So what do you say, Kitty? Do you like that idea?”

  “Yes, indeed! ‘Tis a marvelous plan, Thomas!”

  Thomas turned back to his task with the wood. “What about you, Eliza?”

  Why doesn’t he look at me? She pressed her hands in her lap and struggled to keep her voice even. “I’m thrilled as well. Thank you, Thomas.”

  “Excellent.” He got up, and moved his head in their direction from over his shoulder. “I’ll be going to bed now. If you stay up, there are plenty of logs to keep the fire going. Goodnight.”

  He walked away without another word.

  An instant emptiness filled Eliza’s belly. It was from the nervous excitement. Nothing else.

  The next morning Nathaniel made an early visit. He burst through the door without knocking, as usual, carrying a large parcel under his arm.

  “Good morning, one and all!” he said, loud and jolly. “I come bearing gifts!”

  Kitty’s cheeks reddened when Nathaniel winked at her, and Eliza giggled behind her hand.

  “Do sit down, Doctor Smith. And please tell us what all this excitement is about.” Eliza pointed to the chair closest to the kitchen door.

  “Oh, thank you, but I’m much too animated to sit just now.”

  Thomas came in from the back, a relaxed smile lighting his face. “Nathaniel, what brings you here so early?”

  “Nothing particular. I just had a little something for the ladies and I wanted to bring it by.” Nathaniel moved to the table between the two large chairs and set his package down. “So did Thomas tell you of my idea?”

  “What idea?” Eliza glanced toward Thomas who leaned against the stone around the fireplace with his arms across his chest.

  “The idea for a celebration dinner, of course.”

  Eliza and Kitty exchanged curious glances.

  “He didn’t say it was your idea. Not that it matters, of course.” The rosiness in Kitty’s cheeks spread across her face. “We’re just happy to have something different and exciting to look forward to.”

  Nathaniel’s eyebrows shot up. He looked mischievous. “Thomas wanted to take credit for the idea himself, did he?”

  Thomas rolled his eyes and shook his head with a playful grin, then pushed off the wall and walked into the kitchen.

  Eliza’s heart slowed and she bit her lip. So Thomas hadn’t really been thinking about her. It had been Nathaniel’s idea all along.

  Filling the hole that dug in her c
hest, Eliza lifted her chin. She didn’t need his attentions. After all, she wouldn’t see him when all this was over. Why fret about something so trivial?

  “Well, never mind.” Nathaniel motioned for them to come closer to the small table where he’d laid the large package.

  Eliza sat in the chair and Kitty stood beside her.

  Nathaniel spoke louder and pointed his face in an exaggerated manner toward the kitchen. “Thomas is one lucky man! I don’t have even one pretty lady at my house, let alone two!” He laughed and looked again at Eliza and Kitty. This time his voice was quiet. “I saw these gowns in the shop downtown and they begged me to buy them. One for each of you.”

  Eliza’s face went slack. He’d bought them gowns? Heavens! How would they ever repay him? “You really shouldn’t have, Doctor.”

  “Think nothing of it.”

  Kitty pressed her hands against her chest, sending Eliza a wide-eyed look and mouthed, “Gowns?”

  Eliza could only shrug her response before Nathaniel continued.

  “Would you like to do the honors and open it, Miss Katherine?” He looked at Kitty and winked again.

  She glanced at Eliza as if searching for approval before sprouting a grin that made her face glow and untied the ribbon, quickly unfolding the first gown.

  She gasped in delight and Eliza froze. She’d never seen anything so lovely.

  “That one’s for you, Miss Katherine,” Nathaniel said with a lopsided grin.

  Kitty held the emerald silk up to her body and twirled, watching the skirt float on the air. Trimmed with delicate gold-colored lace, the dark green gown contrasted beautifully with Kitty’s dark auburn hair. Red embroidered roses traced the bodice and the edges of the sleeves.

  “Doctor, this is the finest gown I’ve ever seen. I can’t thank you enough.”

  His voice lowered and for a moment his eyes turned dreamy. “You’ll look marvelous in it, I have no doubt.” With a quick shake of his head he cleared his throat and the usual gaiety returned to his voice. “And you don’t have to thank me. Just promise me you’ll make your fabulous carrot pudding on our special evening and that will be thanks enough.”