Overcoming

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Overcoming Page 14

by H. R. Kitte-Rojas


  With every intention of limiting himself to a one-night-stand, he went to bed with another woman. The sex was good--so much better than what he was used to, he let it drag out for several nights. Then weeks. Then months. He knew he didn't want to get serious, but kept screwing her brains out every chance he got. She did want to get serious, and became emotionally attached quickly. It was that classic case of the woman giving sex to get affection, and the man giving affection to get sex. It ended ugly. It took a while for his stress to dissipate, but the woman was emotionally damaged. And it was all his fault.

  Rehashing all this in his mind sobered Miles by the time Shauna called him later on. Even so, talking with her had him on Cloud Nine again before long.

  Rita called a little later, but Miles told her he didn't feel up to one of their wild nights.

  Rita called him at work the next day. "Are you coming over tonight?"

  Miles gritted his teeth. "Probably not. I have a date."

  The morning after their first night together, Rita had outlined her expectations: She wanted honesty. She didn't demand exclusivity, making it clear she would date other men and possibly sleep with them. They agreed that safe sex would be practiced, so neither of them brought a disease into her bed. Miles hadn't liked the idea of sharing her with other men, but it was a two-way street at least.

  "That's too bad, Boy Toy," she cooed. "Because I'm ready to go. Is it a woman your own age?"

  "Even younger, I think."

  "Ah, you're just getting to know her, then. Will you sleep with her?"

  "Um, not tonight. I kinda' doubt it."

  "Is she attractive?"

  Based on things Rita had confided in him, he guessed she was fishing for information because she sometimes fantasized about him with other women. And about him watching her with other men. She had a kinky streak.

  "I'm, uh...not real comfortable with the direction this conversation is going, Rita."

  She cackled on her end of the line. "Mmm. I'm gonna have to break down some more of those inhibitions, Big Boy. You want to come by after your date?"

  "No!" His reaction was reflexive, out his mouth almost before her sentence was complete.

  She laughed that affected, sensual laugh of hers. "All right Miles. I'll have to find some other entertainment tonight, then. You go have a good time with your little girlfriend, but while you're flirting, remember what I can do for you. I doubt she could even come close. Mmm, and when you do go to bed tonight, imagine me doing it for some other lucky man."

  Miles groaned, fully aroused. Rita knew how to push his buttons.

  Rita chuckled. "Too bad for you. It was your last chance before I leave town."

  He had forgotten: Rita was leaving town for a week, on business.

  They hung up with a mutual assurance to get back in touch on her return.

  For a selfish man with a healthy libido, Rita was the ultimate jackpot: no strings attached, built for comfort, always in the mood and not the jealous type.

  With most women, sex was a trap. If a man wasn't careful, it would lead him into that other big trap. In Rita, Miles found a way to have his cake and eat it, too. So he couldn't rationally explain, even to himself, why Shauna was so important to him.

  She might be lousy in bed, he reasoned. She might hate sex. The two of them might never even have sex. But, even considering that, he still couldn't help the shiver up his spine or the sappy smile whenever he thought about her.

  Miles would never attend a laser light show by himself, even with free admission. But he thoroughly enjoyed the evening with Shauna and her daughter. When Katina grabbed his hand as they walked, the simple act endeared her to him. He was a sucker for vulnerability in a female, he realized. Add trusting innocence to that and his heart melted.

  During the show, Shauna seemed to enjoy his playfulness. She proved playful, herself, and Miles sure enjoyed that.

  Shauna held his hand almost the entire evening. It amazed him how much pleasure such a simple act could cause.

  The only blemish on the date was Shauna's wariness: At times she tended to be a bit standoffish, as if worried that somebody she knew might see her with a white man. Even so, there was evidence of progress: unlike back at her parents' house, Shauna wasn't afraid to exchange displays of affection in front of her daughter.

  They remained on the blanket, long after the laser show ended and the crowd broke up. They talked, joked and played. They established that Shauna was four years younger, enjoyed Caribbean music, mushy chick flicks, and romance novels; while Miles' favorite bands were InXS and Aerosmith, he preferred science fiction movies and technical journals. They both enjoyed '90s music, in general, comedies that weren't too formulaic, Mediterranean food, motorcycles and Corvettes.

  He asked if she'd go out with him again on Thursday night. She said she would, but she'd really like him to meet her best friend: could they all get together at Panera Bread? He didn't want to be distracted with any third parties while he was getting to know her, but he agreed, deciding it was a good thing she wanted him to know her friends.

  He finished work early again Thursday night, and was able to shower, shave, and change and still be on time.

  When he entered the Panera Bread shop, only one table had two black women sitting at it. He approached that one. As if seeing her for the first time, Miles thrilled at Shauna's beauty. Only when he reached the table did he tear his eyes off her and acknowledge the person sitting with her. Shauna's friend was a looker, too, but had one of those haughty expressions so common on "sisters." He smiled anyway, and extended his hand.

  "Miles, this is Celeste," Shauna said, standing.

  Celeste remained seated, shaking Miles' hand dutifully.

  Miles wasn't sure Shauna would appreciate a warm hug in public, so he waited for her to give him some clue as to the proper greeting. She leaned forward, twisting her face to the side, and gave him a perfunctory hug with a couple pats on his back.

  Miles took a seat and said, "Nice to meet you, Celeste."

  "Same to you," Celeste replied, almost sing-song. "Shauna told me a lot about you."

  "I hope it's all good," he said. "She hasn't said much about you." "Celeste and I go way back," Shauna said. "We're best friends."

  They made small talk for a while, Celeste and Miles feeling each other out with questions about family, occupation, education and so forth. Then Celeste, with a straight face, said, "I want you to know I would kill for Shauna."

  "Okay..." Miles said.

  "I mean it. Because she's a person, with feelings; not some test subject for an experiment."

  "Experiment?" Miles echoed, turning from Celeste's accusatory stare to Shauna's nervous countenance. "I don't..."

  Celeste smiled, but it was a cold, phony smile. "You know: 'I've never been with a colored girl before, but always wondered what it was like'."

  Horrified, Miles felt his face heating up. Shauna hissed something at Celeste, but he didn't hear exactly what.

  "I just want that on the record," Celeste said. "If that's not what you're after, then we're cool."

  "Wow," Miles said, anger radiating out from his spine, permeating all his flesh, it seemed. "Do you talk this way to everybody? Or does it depend on their pigmentation?"

  "I'm not trying to start a race-based confrontation," Celeste said.

  "You've got a strange method of demonstration," he said.

  "Can we get back to being civil to each other?" Shauna asked, with a pleading tone.

  "I don't know," Miles said. "Maybe that's not what Celeste wants."

  "I'm just being real," Celeste said, with an innocent expression.

  Shauna continued to pull the conversation in a different direction, and eventually did get the subject changed, but the meeting remained uncomfortable. Miles didn't eat anything and couldn't wait to get out of there. He cut short their evening as politely as he could, and drove around aimlessly for a while.

  He felt ambushed. Why was Celeste so suspicious of h
im? Why did Shauna sic her attack dog friend on him like that? Was Shauna suspicious of him, too?

  He had made every effort to be a gentleman. Sure, he found Shauna to be desirable. Wouldn't any red-blooded male? But he didn't see her as just another "conquest," or any kind of "experiment." If all he wanted was sex, he knew where to find that.

  In fact, that wasn't such a bad idea. He opened his cellphone. 14

  Shauna and Celeste had a table early. Again, Miles showed up exactly five minutes early.

  From the time he stepped up to greet them, Celeste turned hard and cold. The evening went from awkward to ugly after Celeste pretty much accused Miles of just looking for an interracial notch in his gun.

  When Miles had left, it took effort to hold back tears as Shauna said, "I can't believe you would be so rude to someone you know I care about, Celeste."

  "Shauna, if he cares about you, too, he'll get over it." Her tone was no longer self-righteous, but consoling.

  "I'm sorry for what happened to you in college," Shauna said. "But that doesn't give you license to put Miles on the stand for your one-woman kangaroo-court."

  Celeste reached out for her hand, but Shauna pulled away. "You're my best friend, Shauna. I care about you. How much do you really know about this guy?"

  "More than you know, despite your attitude."

  "What if he just wants in your pants?"

  "What if that's all Clarence wanted?" Shauna retorted. "You didn't put him through all this."

  Celeste ignored the observation. "You've gotta watch out for players, girl. Do you know where he lives?"

  "No."

  "Players don't want their conquests showing up at the crib, so they keep it a secret."

  Shauna let go an exasperated puff of air. "We haven't been out on a date, yet. Unless you want to count this, and our night at the waterfront with Katina. He doesn't know where I live either, yet."

  "And don't let him know," Celeste warned. "He could be a rapist; a pedophile; a serial killer..."

  The conversation went on like this until they parted, agreeing to disagree. But Celeste's words planted seeds in Shauna's mind.

  She called him late that night, but he didn't answer. She slept poorly, then began calling him Friday morning. He didn't answer his phone until about noon.

  "I've been trying to call you since last night," she said.

  "Did Celeste think of some more accusations you could make?" he asked, with a tone that made her cringe.

  "Miles, I'm sorry. I didn't know she was going to do that."

  A heavy sigh sounded in the receiver. "Is that what the two of you do? Dream up accusations behind my back, so you're ready to pounce on me once I show my face?"

  "It's not like that, Miles. I guess she's just being protective. She had a bad experience with a...she had a bad experience once and she was judging you by it and she was way out of line. It ruined our evening and I'm so sorry you had to hear that. If I could take it back, I would."

  He sighed again. "Okay. No more Celeste-dates."

  She laughed nervously. It was a good sign that he was joking again.

  "In fact," he said, his tone darkening again, "what's with all the chaperones? Do I ever get to take you out by yourself--just us two and nobody else?"

  Now she sighed with relief. "Of course. Please--let's do that."

  "I'm off today and tomorrow," he said.

  "I'll see if Mum will watch Katina," she said. "Would tonight be too soon?"

  "No," he replied, sounding surprised. "Not at all."

  She told Mum she had a date, but not with Clarence. Mum agreed to babysit, but in exchange, evidently felt she had earned the right to interrogate her daughter about the date. Shauna answered all her questions honestly, but just failed to mention the skin color difference.

  She met Miles at the roller rink, just as the fun was getting started. The main lights dimmed. Down came the disco balls and dancing spot beams. Up pumped the volume on a soundtrack transitioning from Top Forty to hip-hop and dance tunes.

  Miles had just gotten a haircut, and looked devilishly cute. Jeans and other pants with rivets were forbidden at the rink. Miles wore baggy cotton trousers and a long sleeved linen shirt. Shauna wore her black capris with a pink blouse.

  There was another interracial couple present--a black male with a white female--and it helped Shauna not feel as self-conscious as she had been at the waterfront.

  She asked Miles to put her skates on for her. She didn't really expect him to do it. She just felt rather playful and thought it would be fun to clown around with him. To her astonishment, he squatted in front of her, removed her shoes and began to ready her skates.

  "I was just kidding," she said. "You really don't have to." Miles continued manipulating her laces and winked. "You smelled my feet up close. Now we'll be even."

  The crowd was young--high school to twenty-something--and the girls outnumbered the guys. Almost all the girls were skinnier than Shauna, and she had to admit several were pretty. Yet she never once caught Miles ogling, flirting or even looking at anyone but herself.

  When both had their roller blades on, they went out onto the rink. Still feeling playful, Shauna gave him a push, saying, "Tag! You're it," and took off as fast as she could go.

  Miles caught her quickly, but didn't tag her back. He looked hesitant.

  She slowed to a normal pace, realizing she had no hope of outrunning him. "You're still it," she said.

  "Oh, you want me to swat you, huh?" He passed her, then smoothly turned around to face her, keeping pace by skating backwards.

  "I didn't say that," she said.

  "That's what I thought."

  A song Shauna liked began to thump through the sound system. She felt the rhythm and moved with it, snapping her fingers and singing along. Miles turned his head periodically to glance behind him, but seemed content to mostly just watch her dance.

  She thought his grin might be condescending. Then again, perhaps it was wolfish.

  "What?" She asked, making eye contact and laughing nervously.

  "I like the way you move," he said. "Makes me want to swat you after all."

  Wolfish. And now that that was clear, she thought he probably wanted to do a lot more than swat her. "I like the way you skate," she said.

  He drifted out to the side, turned until he faced front again, then lazily strode until he was abreast of her.

  Two young girls took a spill in front of them, and she shoved him again so that they would split apart to go around the accident.

  "Thanks," he said. "You probably saved my life."

  "Are you being a wiseacre?" She asked.

  "No. I'm being a smartass."

  She feigned revulsion. "Such language in the presence of a lady. Maybe I did save your life. It didn't look like you were paying that much attention."

  He shrugged. "Well, I do have something nicer to look at."

  She felt warm inside. They skated on, dodging obstacles as required, laughing at some of the accidents, sharing jokes about a creepy old guy doing tricks to impress the young ladies present. A few songs later Miles moved in close and grabbed her hand.

  "Tag," he said. "You're it."

  She maneuvered their hands until their fingers interlocked, and they skated like that for ages.

  After a while, they took a bathroom break.

  ***

  Miles hadn't gone rollerskating for a long time, but it all came back to him quickly. It was impossible not to notice all the attractive, evidently single, ladies. It occurred to him that the roller rink was a good spot to find hook-ups, if he was trying to do that. But the more time he spent with Shauna, the less he noticed everything, and everyone, else.

  The girl had some moves. When she gyrated to the beat, he suffered a painful erection. Miles studied Shauna's generous hips, small waist, terrific bust, thick legs, perfect hands and radiant eyes. There was no flat surface on her entire anatomy. Were he an artist attempting to sculpt her, he would use thousands of i
ntersecting spheres, then melt them together and smooth the overlaps so that each round surface flowed gracefully into the next. Even her face was structured this way. Cheeks, eyes, nose, lips, chin, forehead--every component was a beautiful blending of circular shapes.

  Hours seemed like minutes with Shauna. She found something positive in everything around her. When he was with her, he smiled more, laughed harder, and appreciated the most mundane happenings around him. She also didn't seem as self-conscious with him this time.

  Shauna excused herself to use the ladies room, and he escorted her. He went to relieve himself, washed his hands and face and recombed his hair, and still made it out before her.

  When she emerged, her warm smile shone on him, and was only for him. He guided her into a dark corner and pulled her in close. They made out right there, oblivious to the rest of the world. When they came up for air, her eyes were still closed and head tilted back.

  "Are you enjoying yourself?" he asked, softly.

  She opened her eyes and smiled again, nodding.

  They ordered soft drinks and sat together on a bench. They shared stories from their childhoods about skating, dancing, and sports, laughing together over anything remotely humorous. Her eyes met his sporadically, only for brief flashes before looking away or dropping her eyelids. But those little flashes made his chest tingle.

  So much time passed while they talked that, before they knew it, the manager spoke over the P.A. system, announcing closing time in fifteen minutes. Miles threw their cups away and led Shauna back to the rink. Now they skated lazily around the oval, holding hands.

  The last song was a slow one which Shauna apparently liked. She pressed in close to him, clutching his arm with both hands, leaning her head on his shoulder. He quit his stride so their legs wouldn't get tangled up this close. She quit, too. They coasted over to the rail where she turned to face him, holding both his hands with both of hers. Her eyelids drooped so low it looked as if they might be closed, then she looked up at him with a strange expression. She rolled into his personal space and kissed him tenderly. She pulled back slowly, fixing him with her gaze, and said, "I don't want this night to end."

 

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