Perijee and Me

by Ross Montgomery

  ‘So … can we come with you?’

  The old lady was lost for words. She was almost shaking.

  ‘W-wait here!’ she gabbled.

  She ran inside and slammed the door behind her, leaving me and Fi stood awkwardly on the gangplank.

  ‘You’re right,’ said Fi. ‘She seems lovely.’

  I shrugged. ‘Well … I dunno. Maybe she’s a bit demented.’

  ‘Who, her in the massive paddleboat?’ said Fi. ‘Never.’

  The door swung open again and the old lady stepped back outside. This time she looked totally different. She was smiling.

  ‘Goodness!’ she said sweetly. ‘Where are my manners? Of course you can come, dearie! Right this way – please!’

  She held open the door and bowed down to me, the smile chiselled onto her face like a crack in a plate. I didn’t need telling twice – I ran straight inside. She tried to shut the door behind me, but Fi scrambled before she could.

  ‘Not so fast!’ she said. ‘If Caitlin’s going, I’m going too!’

  ‘We’re best friends,’ I explained.

  ‘No we’re not,’ she muttered.

  I don’t know what Fi was so worried about. The inside of the boat was just like any other old lady’s house. Everywhere you turned were doilies and porcelain hedgehogs and watercolour paintings of kittens. I felt safer already.

  ‘My name is Margaret,’ said the old lady, shaking my hand. ‘Sorry for the, er, misunderstanding, my dear – we weren’t expecting anyone to join us after our offer was so rudely rejected. Come – let me introduce you to the others!’

  She hurried me down a corridor lined with bedrooms. I couldn’t believe my eyes – in every doorway stood an old woman, wearing a lacy nightgown and with her hair in rollers. There were dozens of them. They all peered out excitedly, whispering to each other and pinching my cheek.

  ‘Wow!’ I said. ‘I’ve never seen so many old ladies!’

  Margaret smiled. ‘There are plenty more amazing things on board, dearie. Here – look at this.’

  She came to a door at the end of a corridor – but it was no ordinary door. It was carved with thousands of letters that spiralled in a great ring across the wood. It looked like a spider’s web.

  ‘Do you see what that says?’ Margaret asked.

  She pointed to the word carved right in the centre. The letters spun in front of me. I flushed with embarrassment.

  ‘Er … it says … it says …’

  Fi quickly stepped forwards and took my hand.

  ‘“LOVE”,’ she said. ‘It says “LOVE” – doesn’t it, Caitlin?’

  I sighed with relief. I was so glad Fi was there.

  ‘Oh, yeah!’ I said. ‘Of course – LOVE. Why’s it written on the door?’ Margaret smiled. ‘Love is very important to us, girls – especially to our leader. You will see her in a moment. She is one of the most special people you are ever likely to meet. You should consider yourselves very lucky … Most people don’t even know she exists!’

  She threw open the door and pushed me inside.

  ‘Mother!’ she cried. ‘This is the girl!’

  I fell sprawling into the room, so fast I lost my balance. But just before I hit the floor, a hand shot out and grabbed me. The grip was strong, and safe, and warm.

  ‘A nasty fall you nearly had there,’ said a voice.

  I looked up. Sat in an armchair in front of me was the biggest woman I had ever seen in my life. She was massive, like a house or a hill is massive. The arms beneath the lace of her nightgown were thick as pillars.

  ‘Are you hurt?’ she said gently.

  I was speechless. I’d never seen anything so big or so old before. She looked more like a tree than a person. She put me back on my feet and dusted me off.

  ‘No harm done,’ she said. ‘And what a pleasure to have such life on board for once! My name is Mother – at least, that is what the women call me. You may call me that too, if you wish.’

  The word caught me by surprise – Mum. By now she’d have worked out I wasn’t in camp. She’d probably be beside herself. Suddenly all I could think about was her voice and her hair and the jumper she always wore round the house …

  I shook my head. I couldn’t think about any of that now – I had more important things to do. I had to save Perijee.

  ‘Er … thanks,’ I said, shaking her hand. ‘Nice to meet you, Mother. My name’s Caitlin.’

  Mother smiled, her face creasing into a thousand wrinkles. ‘And your friend?’

  I glanced behind me. Fi stood in the doorway, staring at Mother openmouthed.

  ‘Oh yeah!’ I said. ‘This is …’

  ‘Queenie,’ said Fi quickly.

  I almost said something, but Fi gave me a dark look. I had no idea why she was lying. Luckily Mother didn’t seem to notice – she barely gave Fi a nod before turning back to me.

  ‘Margaret tells me you have a very interesting photograph, Caitlin.’ She leaned towards me, the chair creaking beneath her. ‘May I see it?’

  I handed it over nervously. Mother held the photo at arm’s length, her eyes sparkling.

  ‘My goodness,’ she said quietly. ‘What an exquisite creature! I’ve been all around the world, but I’ve never seen anything quite like him. What a treasure!’

  My chest swelled with pride. It felt so good to hear someone say nice things about Perijee for a change. And Mother had so many of them – words just flowed out of her, like hot water from a tap.

  ‘However did you find such an angel?’ she asked.

  I told her everything. I told her about the meteor shower, and about Perijee arriving on the island, and the day he changed. Mother listened patiently until I was done.

  ‘Extraordinary,’ she said. ‘You say the Monster just … grew out of him?’

  ‘Whenever he was frightened,’ I said. ‘I think that’s the problem. He must be terrified, stuck up there by himself. But if someone was nice to him again – if I could talk to him, just for a bit – then the Monster would disappear like it did before, I’m sure of it. And then we can get Perijee home!’ I beamed. ‘So – will you help us?’

  Mother nodded, her eyes lost in thought for a moment. She turned to Fi.

  ‘Queenie, my dear,’ she said. ‘I’d like to have a private word with Caitlin for a moment. Can you wait outside, please?’

  Fi’s eyes flicked between me and Mother. For a second, I could have sworn she looked a little jealous.

  ‘Sure,’ she said huffily. ‘Whatever.’

  She walked out the door and Margaret quickly closed it behind her. Mother smiled at me.

  ‘I thought it would be best if we talked alone, Caitlin,’ she said. ‘Seeing as no one knows Perijee better than you. You’ve been a wonderful friend to him.’

  I shrugged. ‘Well, I guess I …’

  ‘Do you love him?’

  She asked me so quickly that for a second I didn’t know what to say. She reached out and held my face.

  ‘Love,’ she said. ‘I can see it in you, my dear, bright as the sun. You’ve already come so far – why do it, if not for love?’

  The room was changing around me. It was as if everything was hovering a centimetre off the floor, and Mother was holding me in place with just her eyes.

  ‘Love is the most important thing there is, Caitlin,’ she said, almost in a whisper. ‘But there’s not much of it left – not real love, not nowadays. A girl who loves like you do is precious. A girl like you can save the world.’

  I’d never been called special before – not by anyone. My heart swelled. Mother’s words kept washing over me like waves on a warm ocean.

  ‘But love is not always enough, Caitlin,’ she said. ‘If you truly want to save your friend, you must be prepared to leave everything behind. Your home, your family …’ Her eyes stayed locked on mine. ‘Even your friend Queenie, if it comes to it.’

  I snapped awake – what did she mean? I couldn’t leave Fi behind, not after everything she had done for me
. She was my friend …

  ‘It is the only way, Caitlin,’ said Mother, leaning closer. ‘You must forget everything except him. You do love him – don’t you?’

  Mother was right. If I didn’t get to Perijee in time, he could die. And Fi … well, Fi was different, wasn’t she? She could look after herself. She didn’t need me like Perijee did.

  ‘Can you do it, Caitlin?’ said Mother, her face only inches from mine. ‘Can you give up everything to save him?’

  I nodded. ‘Yes. I can.’

  Mother leapt out her chair and the room slammed back to normal. It was like falling out of bed in the middle of a dream. I could finally see how huge she was – how she filled the room with just her shadow. She didn’t even look that old any more.

  ‘Margaret!’ she boomed. ‘Find Caitlin the best room we have! Forget waiting for more followers – we leave for the city immediately!’

  The old ladies cheered as Margaret led Fi and me to our new bedroom, fighting each other to shake my hand. Inside were two cosy beds with silk sheets, piled high with cushions. It looked like something from a fancy hotel. I waited until everyone had left before leaping onto the nearest bed.

  ‘Can you believe it, Fi?’ I laughed, jumping up and down. ‘We’ve done it – a first-class ticket straight to Perijee! Give me an F! Give me an E! Give me a …’

  ‘You shouldn’t have said yes,’ said Fi angrily. ‘Not while I was out the room. You could have agreed to anything.’

  I stopped jumping.

  ‘… What do you mean?’

  Fi pulled me off the bed.

  ‘Look, I don’t trust these women. Something’s not right, I can feel it. Let’s go – we can get to the city ourselves. Just you and me.’

  She was holding me a bit harder than I liked. I pulled away. She was acting just like Mum – treating me like I couldn’t think for myself.

  ‘But Fi, I want to go,’ I said. ‘They’re really nice. They want to help Perijee, and they can get there quicker than anyone else. I mean, if you don’t want to come with us …’

  Fi looked like she’d been slapped.

  ‘“Us” now, is it?’ she said. ‘So after everything we’ve done together – after all that stuff you said about being my friend – you’d just go without me?’

  I’d never heard Fi sound so upset before. Suddenly I felt terrible.

  ‘Fi, I didn’t …’

  ‘No, it’s fine,’ she said coldly. ‘At least I know where I stand. Well, I’d better go get the cow before you and your new friends leave me behind.’

  She marched out without another word. I watched her go, my head spinning. We’d been getting on great a few minutes before – and now she was angry with me. I had no idea friends were so complicated!

  But there was no point being upset now – I was going to see Perijee again. My heart soared just thinking about it. Soon we’d be back together. Sure, Fi was mad at me, but she couldn’t be mad forever … and soon I’d be able to find Dad and save the world. Everything had turned out perfect.

  There was just one thing that didn’t make sense.

  When one of the old ladies had reached out to shake my hand, the sleeve of her nightgown had slipped up. She’d quickly pulled it down again – but a second too late. I had already seen her arm underneath.

  It was completely covered in tattoos.

  I woke bright and early, the sun streaming through the window and the riverbank rolling past in clouds of boat steam. I sat up and looked around. Fi was nowhere to be seen.

  Eventually I found her outside on the deck, fast asleep on top of the cow. I shook her awake.

  ‘Fi, I’m really sorry about last night,’ I said. ‘I made you this.’

  It was an old bobble hat I’d found in a cupboard. It was just like mine, except I’d written FI QEENY on the front in marker pen.

  ‘I didn’t know how to spell “Best Friend”,’ I said. ‘We … we are still friends, aren’t we?’

  ‘Gerroff, s’my cow,’ Fi muttered, and fell back asleep.

  I smiled. I knew that meant yes.

  I got bored trying to wake her up, so I searched the boat until I found the door to Mother’s room. In the daylight I could see the carvings in the wood properly. There was LOVE, written in the centre just like before … but the letters around it were different. They weren’t letters – they were symbols. Kind of like the ones on Perijee’s body.

  ‘Weird,’ I said.

  I pushed open the door and stepped inside. All the old ladies were standing round a big table covered in papers.

  ‘Morning everyone!’ I said. ‘What are you all doing?’

  The women swung round and glared at me. I was surprised – they’d been so happy to see me the night before, but now they looked pretty hacked off. The only one who wasn’t angry was Mother.

  ‘Come in, my girl!’ she boomed. ‘Come right inside – there are no secrets from our guests here!’

  She pulled me over to the table and swept her arm across the papers.

  ‘Behold – our plans to save the world!’

  My face fell. Every single sheet was covered with numbers and letters that swirled and twisted in front of me.

  ‘Well?’ said Mother. ‘What do you think, child?’

  I blushed furiously.

  ‘I … I don’t know what they say,’ I said.

  Mother shrugged. ‘Well, why don’t you read me the bit you don’t understand, and I’ll explain it to you?’

  My face burned.

  ‘I – I can’t,’ I said. ‘I’m no good at reading.’

  There was an awful pause. For a moment I thought that Mother was going to laugh at me. But she didn’t.

  ‘Come on, then!’ she said. ‘Let me show you.’

  She picked me up and plonked me on her lap. I was shocked – no one had done that to me in years. I thought I’d be a bit embarrassed, but I wasn’t. It felt really good. Mother leaned over the table.

  ‘This is a map showing our way to the city.’ She pointed to a sheet in front of her. ‘Can you see?’

  She ran her finger along a blue line, and suddenly it all made sense. I nodded.

  ‘We’ll arrive at the Monster’s head in two days,’ Mother explained, tracing the line across the map. ‘And not a moment too soon. We have just received information that the army is finally organising an attack – a missile air strike, aimed directly at his brain.’

  I gasped. ‘But … that’s right where Perijee is!’

  ‘Indeed, my girl,’ said Mother sadly. ‘That’s why it’s full steam ahead, night and day, until we reach the blockade.’

  Her finger came to a stop at the ring of warships surrounding the Monster’s head. I frowned.

  ‘… And then what?’ I said. ‘How are we going to get past the boats?’

  At that moment the door opened and Fi walked in. I knew right away we were friends again – she was wearing my hat!

  ‘F— I mean, Queenie!’ I said, waving at her. ‘Come look at our plans …!’

  But before Fi could take another step, the old ladies tore the papers from the table and started stuffing them into boxes. This time Mother didn’t try to stop them.

  ‘Ah, yes,’ she said, her voice cold. ‘Queenie, was it? I almost forgot about you. So nice of you to finally join us.’

  Fi smiled back, hard as granite. ‘Yeah, sorry for butting in – just thought I’d keep an eye on things. Seeing as I’m Caitlin’s friend and everything.’

  The two of them stared at each other in grim silence. It was like they were talking to each other in some secret language I didn’t understand. It was really awkward – they obviously didn’t like each other.

  ‘Er … should I get down now?’ I said.

  Mother nodded. ‘Yes, child. The two of you should leave us ladies alone to the planning.’

  She plonked me back on my feet.

  ‘But make sure you’re in the dining room for six o’clock. We’re holding a special dinner in your honour, Cait
lin! To celebrate your arrival, and the beginning of our mission to save Perijee.’ She gave Fi a steely glance. ‘I’m sure we can find an extra chair for Queenie.’

  The ladies gave me a round of applause while Fi fumed. I felt really bad for her – Mother was giving me loads of attention and I could tell it was upsetting Fi. The last thing I wanted was for us to have another argument.

  ‘Great idea!’ I said, taking Fi’s hand. ‘And F— I mean, Queenie can sit right next to me. Can’t she, Mother?’

  Mother nodded. ‘You’re the guest of honour, child – you can have anything you want.’

  I froze.

  ‘Can I choose what we eat, too?’

  ‘Of course!’ said Mother. ‘Choose whatever you fancy – anything in the whole wide world!’

  *

  I slammed the pan onto the table.

  ‘It’s called Caitlin’s Perfect Pasta.’

  It’d been so long since I’d last cooked, I’d forgotten how much I loved it. The boat’s kitchen didn’t have all the things I needed, but like all the best chefs I made do. There was no tomato ketchup so I used brown sauce, and instead of herbs I just pulled up some grass from the riverbank.

  ‘Wow,’ said Fi. ‘I’ve never seen food look like that before.’

  ‘Thanks!’ I said.

  The dinner was great – Mother and Fi were sat too far apart to argue, and everyone loved the food. You could tell because no one talked! They say that’s the sign people are enjoying their meal. The only sound was the scraping of chairs every few seconds while someone ran to the toilet.

  ‘What a feast!’ said Mother, even though she had only eaten one spoonful before saying she was full. ‘Such a talented girl. Your mother must be very proud of you, Caitlin!’

  I almost dropped my fork.

  ‘Why, if I had a daughter like you, I’d be the proudest mother in the whole …’

  ‘Thanks,’ I said, desperate to change the subject to something that didn’t make me want to be sick. ‘Um … do you guys have a TV on board?’

  It was like I’d flicked a switch. Everyone fell silent. All the old women stopped what they were doing and looked at Mother. I’d obviously said something wrong. I shuffled nervously on my seat.