A Lady's Honor

by A. S. Fenichel

  If Phoebe had to listen to that crunching and gulping for the rest of her life, she’d lose her mind. Not that she had any intention of marrying Gavin. He had kicked her at her lowest moment. She would never tie herself to such a thoughtless man. Far too much like Ford, Gavin was not the man for her.

  Jared sipped his tea and smacked his lips, the pinkie finger of his right hand sticking out. He stared toward the fire as if looking for something, then shot a glance at Phoebe. “I would like your answer, Miss Hallsmith.”

  Looking over her teacup at him, she gave herself a moment to keep from laughing. “Was there a question posed, Mr. Blunt?”

  Eyebrows drawn together, he frowned. “I would like to know if you will marry me.”

  Not exactly the romantic proposal a woman would like, but considering that she had set the stage, she couldn’t blame poor Mr. Blunt.

  Before she could develop a civil response, Gavin cut in. “I expect you will marry me, Miss Hallsmith. You and I will have an amiable life in Scotland where we both know you belong. London is no place for a girl like you. You will come back to Scotland, we will marry, and my farm will keep us in very good standing for a large family.”

  “You mean the farm that will be doubled in size because my mother will give you Grandmother’s property for marrying her old-maid daughter.” Phoebe’s calm was quickly slipping. She stole a glance at Markus.

  He raised one eyebrow and drank his tea, managing the feat without lip smacking, slurping, or gulping. His fingers, though large compared to the dainty teacup, did not poke out or look about to shatter the porcelain. Markus was at ease but watchful.

  Gavin stuffed meat in his mouth and spoke around it. “That is of no consequence and it is inappropriate to mention in company.”

  “I will have your answer.” Jared put his cup and saucer down without the slightest sound. Standing, he crossed his arms.

  Phoebe stood. “Well, Mr. Blunt. If I may pose a question, why do you wish to marry me?”

  Facing her, he stared wide-eyed then tugged on his jacket and adjusted his cravat. “I…I think we make a fine match. You are a lady of the highest order. I know we can get along together. You will give me children and make me happy.”

  “Is that all?” Phoebe rounded the table separating them.

  “What more is there besides happiness and companionship?” His petulant tone grated on her nerves.

  She bit the inside of her cheek to keep her temper at bay. “What more indeed. I thank you for your interest, but I must decline, Mr. Blunt.”

  “Decline? You would decline a perfectly good offer of marriage from an upstanding man to marry this Scotsman?” He turned a petulant gaze on Gavin, who smirked back.

  “Mr. Durnst has nothing to do with my refusal to marry you.”

  “Then why have you refused me?”

  It was incredible that she had to explain and humiliating that this was all happening in front of Markus. “I will not marry you because you do not love me and I do not love you. You mentioned your happiness and the children that I would give to you but made no mention of how you were going to make me happy.”

  “I will take you out of here and give you a home.”

  It was an effort to keep her shoulders back and remain standing. Everything about the afternoon exhausted her. “I am afraid that is not enough for me, Sir. I thank you for your attention, but I will not marry you.”

  Gavin jumped up. “Good, then we can get to planning our wedding.”

  “No. If you were the last man on earth, I would not marry you, Gavin Durnst. You certainly do not love me and you could not care less about anyone’s happiness other than your own. I believe you would be a terrible father and husband, making you even less appealing than Mr. Blunt. Even if we had not had a history where you humiliated me, I would never accept you as my husband.”

  Face red, he stepped closer. “Ford will make you marry me.”

  “No. My brother has no control over my decisions. I do not need him or his protection. I do not need any man’s protection. I have the Everton Domestic Society.”

  Honoria clapped.

  Gavin’s eyes narrowed. “You are an ungrateful old maid. You will never have anything if you do not marry me.”

  It was enough. Phoebe took a step back, picked up her teacup, and threw it at Gavin, hitting him in the head.

  The pretty pale porcelain with its pink painted flowers crashed to the floor where it broke into several pieces.

  Gavin held his forehead where it turned red. “How dare you assault me.”

  “Get out before I throw something heavier.”

  The door opened and Gray stood waiting with their coats in hand.

  “I am going to see Ford right now. You will be my wife before the month is out; then you will wish you had been nicer to me.” He trudged out barely escaping the figurine she flung at his back.

  Jared looked at her then at the open door. “I would hate to be thought of in the same light as that gentleman, so I will say good day, Miss Hallsmith. I am sorry it did not work out between us and I wish you well.”

  Phoebe watched him take his coat and go. Struggling to catch her breath, she buried her fingernails in her palms. She could not bear to look at Markus. He must think her a madwoman.

  “Perhaps this would be a good time to take my leave of you ladies. Thank you for the tea.” Markus’s calm warm voice did nothing to make her feel better. In fact, she was tempted to throw the entire pot at him as he bowed then took his coat from Gray.

  After a moment, Honoria wrapped her arms around Phoebe. “You have done the right thing. It was very dramatic, but ultimately the right thing. Neither of them would have made you a good husband.”

  Her emotions boiled over and Phoebe cried on Honoria’s shoulder. “I hate men.”

  “I know dear. However, Lord Devonrose did come to see you and he watched the entire scene with interest. Perhaps things will work out after all.”

  “I have ruined that too. Now that he has seen the full extent of my stupid temper, he will never come back. Why would he?” Despair ripped through her until she had to sit and let the wracking sobs claim her.

  Honoria stayed with her until the tears abated. “I am going to arrange a bath for you, then you will go to bed and sleep this away. When you are rested, you will feel much better, I promise.”

  Following orders like a woman in a dream, she bathed and went to bed. Sleep claimed her but only nightmares followed.

  * * * *

  It was after ten when she could no longer stand her bed. Many residents of Everton House were talking and laughing in the grand parlor when Phoebe stole past in her nightgown and robe. She had tugged on her boots, grabbed a blanket, and headed for the garden and fresh air.

  The winter chill helped clear her mind of the mortifying afternoon. Snow made the garden look like a fairy tale. The wall around the veranda showed several inches of it and the trees were painted white.

  Phoebe breathed deep and watched her breath in the full moon’s light.

  When she stepped off the veranda onto the snow-covered path, someone else’s footprints shocked her into stillness. “Is someone here?”

  “Do not be afraid, Phoebe.” Markus stepped out of the shadows and into the moonlight.

  Heart pounding, she had to catch her breath. He was the last person she expected to see. After the mess at tea, she wondered if she would ever see him again. “What are you doing here?”

  “Hoping you would have trouble sleeping and need some air.” He eased closer.

  “How could you know I would not go to the kitchen for a treat?” Wearing only her nightgown and robe, she tugged the blanket tighter both against his gaze and the cold.

  “You do not eat when you are upset, and I expected after the events of this afternoon you would have lost your appetite. It was a risk, but I w
anted to see you alone. I hope you will forgive my impertinence.” The sleeve of his coat brushed her fingers.

  He knew her habits, her moods. Not even her mother could have said such a thing, and he risked the freezing weather that it was true. Longing to reach out and touch him but terrified, she backed up a step. “I am sorry you saw all of that and left without saying why you had come. We are friends and I did not behave well.”

  Again, he closed the gap. “Under the circumstances, your behavior was exemplary. Durnst deserved a good thrashing and it was all I could do not to give it to him. Jared’s behavior was marginally better and he finished well. At least I do not have to find a new secretary. That is, unless his presence will make you uncomfortable.”

  “Why did you not thrash Gavin?” A dozen questions rumbled through her mind, this was the safest.

  He cocked his head and brushed her hair back from her face.

  She shivered from the touch rather than the freezing temperatures.

  “I did not interfere because I knew you could handle things yourself. You are a very capable woman and do not appreciate being coddled by a man.”

  So close now, she had to arch her neck to look at him. “I think sometimes it might be nice to have someone take care of me.”

  “Should I have beaten Durnst and tossed him from the house?” He smiled and it shone in his emerald eyes.

  “No. I would have hated that. It is good to see you Markus. I was so happy to hear that Elizabeth is speaking.”

  He toyed with the ends of her hair between his fingers and his warm smile widened. “It was amazing. She speaks all the time now. It only took one word; then she was communicating all the time.”

  Hurt that she had missed that first word, Phoebe longed for the closeness she had shared with Markus and Elizabeth. She swallowed the lump in her throat. “What did she say? What was her first word?”

  He leaned down and brushed his lips over the lock of hair he sifted between his fingers. “She said Fee.”

  Tears welled in Phoebe’s eyes. Emotion shook her entire body.

  “Are you cold?”

  “No. Yes. No.”

  “When I came in through the gate in the alley, I saw a small wooden building.”

  “Potter’s shed,” she said.

  Before she knew what was happening, he scooped her up in his arms and trudged through the snow toward the rear side garden. His arms were like coming home after a long journey. “Why are you carrying me?”

  “You are hardly dressed for walking through the garden. Do you mind my carrying you?”

  Unable to resist him, she buried her face in the crook of his neck. “I should mind, but I do not. Tell me about Elizabeth speaking.”

  “She came to find me in the study and wanted to know where you were. I did my best to act as if it were an everyday occurrence, but it was not easy. I wanted to jump for joy.” He approached the shed and put her on her feet. Keeping her close with his arm around her waist, he opened the door.

  It was as cold inside as out, but with no wind to chill her bones. Markus went to the table and struck tinder to light a candle.

  Phoebe closed the door once the candle was lit. “I wish I had heard her.”

  “I wish you had too.” He placed the candle on the stool, lifted Phoebe by the waist, and sat her on the high bench. In winter, the shed went unused and all the gardening items were neatly tucked away, leaving the bench clear.

  Heart pounding, she had no choice but to speak of the afternoon’s mess. “I am very sorry you had to witness the scene at tea today. I thought I could control my temper, but it got away from me.”

  He stared at her for a long moment. “Are you under the impression that I was put off by your behavior in the parlor today?”

  “It was embarrassing to be so out of control. I could have handled the entire situation better. I assure you I can control myself.” She was rambling but she couldn’t stop herself. “Those men were just so aggravating and overbearing. I suppose Mr. Blunt did redeem himself as you said, but even so.”

  Placing his fingers over her lips, he stopped her. “You lasted far longer than I would have. No one should have to endure what those two idiots put you through, acting as if they were doing you some service by making an offer. They were rude and intolerable. Had I not known you would hate my interfering, I would have thrashed them both and tossed them from the house.”

  It was hard to think beyond his touch and the kind words.

  He dropped his hand to the bench beside her thigh. “But I did not wish to become a part of your regrettable afternoon, at least not to the point where you wish to never see me again.”

  “I could never want that.”

  Placing his other hand on the bench so that she was trapped between his arms, he leaned into her. “Does that mean you are happy to see me tonight?”

  “You surprised me.” She ordered herself to say something intelligent, but nothing came to mind. “I did not expect you to come to London.”

  “I would have been here sooner if my father had not turned up at Rosefield. He is unwell and I could not leave.”

  “I am sorry to hear that. Will he recover?” Aching for him, she touched his upper arm. The muscle flexed beneath her fingers, and the memory of being wrapped in his strength washed over her leaving her dizzy.

  With a shrug, he stood straight and rubbed the side of his head. “I think if he stops drinking, he will live on. However, I do not believe he will stop drinking.”

  Phoebe took his hand and held it against her heart. “You cannot expect to control the behavior of others, Markus. I have no doubt you have done your best for your father. The rest is up to him.”

  Leaning in again, he kissed her forehead. “Is that what you thought when you demanded I stop drinking?”

  Heart pounding, there was no hiding her excitement. “Yes. All I could do was tell you the consequences of your actions. You had to be ready to find your life, or it would not have worked.”

  “And here I assumed you had worked a miracle.” Grinning, he freed his hand from her grip and caressed along the opening in her robe to her throat.

  “No. It was all you.” So close, her senses filled with Markus.

  He rested his cheek against her forehead and his Adam’s apple bounced. “I could not have done it without you there to hold my hand. You have been a good friend to me, Phoebe. Do not minimize what you do.”

  Heart in her throat, she said, “Thank you. I assume your father is doing better, since you are here.”

  “I think he is out of danger for the moment. However, I did not come to London to discuss my father.”

  “No? Why did you come?” Her head spun.

  He stepped back and she wished she hadn’t asked. His touch was an addiction she never wanted to break.

  He shifted his feet and turned his back to her. “I wanted to see you.”

  “You came all this way in the snow to see me?”

  Facing her again, he shrugged. “Why do you think that strange?”

  “Do you visit all the servants who have been in your employ?”

  Closing the gap, he frowned. “You were not in my employ. You were hired by my mother. I came to see you because I missed you. Elizabeth misses you. Rosefield is empty without you.”

  Her heart sank. “Sometimes clients become attached. I am sorry, but I cannot stay at Rosefield. I have a responsibility to Everton and Lady Chervil is not available as a chaperon indefinitely. I would not have left if you were not ready to manage your home without me. You and Elizabeth will be fine.”

  “I am afraid I must disagree with you on that last point.” He crowded her until his breath mingled with hers.

  “You do?”

  “Yes. We will not be fine without you, Phoebe.” He feathered his lips across hers.

  It was lightning to he
r heart. “Elizabeth will be happy with whoever you choose for a wife, Markus. I was just a temporary…”

  His kiss stopped her but it ended far too soon. “You were not a temporary anything. You are the only woman I want, Phoebe Hallsmith. Elizabeth’s need for a mother is not why I have come to London in the snow. I came because I want to marry you.”

  “Why would you want to marry me? My brother has not promised you land or dowry.” The familiar fear of her family’s manipulation of her life edged in to her joy at seeing Markus.

  “I have not spoken to Ford. I decided it best to speak to you first. After all, it is your life not his.”

  She pushed his shoulders, but he did not move away nor did he force himself closer. “As I told those men this afternoon, I do not need a protector.”

  “Marry me, Phoebe?” He spoke against her cheek and the vibration of his words shook her soul.

  “Why, Markus? Why are you doing this to me?” Tears flowed silently down her face.

  Markus pulled back and gazed into her eyes. Cradling her face between his hands, he used his thumbs to wipe away her fear. “I love you. I need you. You are the woman who makes me happy. In your arms, I find peace and joy. If I can do the same for you, it would complete me. Maybe I am selfish and foolish to have come. I heard what you told Blunt and Durnst, but they wanted you for themselves alone. I want you for you. Not because I can gain land or children. I have all the property and finances I need. I want you to be my wife, my partner, lover and friend for as long as we live.”

  “You love me?” A heavy fog cluttered her mind. She must be asleep in her room and this was all a dream.

  “I love you very much.” He kissed her nose.

  “But, you love Emma.”

  Moisture sparkled in his eyes, and he nodded. “I do love Emma and I always will. When you left, and I am stupid not to have learned this earlier, I discovered that there is room in my heart for Emma and you. She is part of me and Elizabeth, but you are flesh and blood. You are my future, if you will have me.”

  “Everton Ladies do not fall in love with their employers.” She was numb. Everything she thought she knew rattled like glass on the teetering shelf.