by Bella Jewel
I look up from my desk to see Officer Reginald Carson walking in. He’s middle aged, but well-built and handsome. He’s also a giant dick. He makes my life here super hard, even more so than Bennett used to. The two of them were close, and I have more than a little suspicion he too is involved in the Dax case, but proving it is next to impossible, especially now he knows we’re investigating it.
He’ll be squeaky clean; I know there is no point in even try to find something on him.
He’s too smart.
“Yes?” I answer, my voice tight.
I wish I didn’t have to answer him, I wish I could kick him right in the god damned balls, but he’s higher than me and, right now, alongside of Blart, he’s my supervisor.
If I want to keep my job, which I do, then I have to do as I’m told.
“We got a disturbance downtown. A domestic. You can go.”
“I’m busy, Carson,” I mutter. “I literally have a thousand papers here because none of you are capable of doing them yourselves.”
He leans over my desk, a big smile on his stupidly handsome face. “Well, you’re going to have a late one then, aren’t you? Now go.”
Fuck me.
I stand up and grab my badge, gun, and belt. I strap it on and give him a look that tells him exactly what my mouth cannot. That I hate him and wish he’d walk outside and get hit by the closest god damned bus.
“Now, now, Zariah, there’s no need to give me those looks.” He chuckles, turning and walking out of the office.
Jackass.
I get my things, get in my car, and attend the disturbance which is just a drunk couple fighting because he wouldn’t agree to watch what she wanted on the television. They got into a fight, screamed at one another, and the neighbors called the police. After sorting it out and issuing a warning, I am back on my way to the stack of papers that are forever piling up on my desk.
I want in on a case.
I’ve been here long enough.
I’ve done the hard work.
But they will not put me on a decent case. They continue to keep me locked out of anything good, which is part of the reason I decided to work with the club. It’s a risk to everything, but it also gave me a chance to do what I have always dreamed of doing—investigating and solving a decent case.
I start contemplating that transfer again, but that means Jayden would be away from his father, and I’d be away from my friends. I can’t do that to him.
God damn it, there are so many days I wish I was a whole lot more selfish.
I finish up my day with two drunk and disorderly calls, another domestic, and a one-person car accident because the girl was texting and driving. It’s all part of the job, I understand that, but I’m becoming tired of the same old thing, on the same old days. I’d do anything for more adventure, more excitement.
Anything but this.
Heading home to face another weekend alone makes my heart ache. I miss Jayden when he isn’t around, but mostly I miss who I used to be. The fun, free-spirted, wild girl who enjoyed her life and had so many dreams. Those dreams feel a whole lot more like a distant memory now. With Waverly in New York, I don’t even have her to fall back on.
It’s just me.
I hate that.
I really need to get my shit together.
My phone rings just as I arrive at the store to get something for dinner, because when Jayden isn’t around, groceries and I don’t seem to get along all that well. I am tired after work and often can’t think of anything worse than going to the store. But, here I am.
I see Alarick is calling and quickly stop what I’m doing to answer it.
“Hey,” I say, my voice a little puffed from storming up and down the aisles pushing an empty cart because I can’t decide what I want to eat.
“Zariah, where are you?”
“At the store, why?”
“Kendric has been let out today; we’ve paid bail. His court date has been set for two months from now. That’s all the time we have to get this sorted. Cohen has found some interesting information. Are you around?”
“I can be,” I say, abandoning my empty cart and rushing out of the store. “I’ll be there in five.”
Alarick hangs up, and I get into my car, feeling my spirit rise just a little at the thought of some new information, something to chase, something to work with. I’ve been desperate for a break in this case but, as of yet, I’ve not been able to find one on my own. Dax is good, he’s clever, and because they have Kendric who made a confession, they aren’t investigating it quite as heavily as they should be.
I arrive at the clubhouse in record time and get out of the car. I’m still in uniform, but I’ve toned it down, so to speak. I’m not lugging around a gun and a taser, and I’m not wearing a hat. I’ve replaced my boots with shoes and, as I walk into the clubhouse, I untuck my shirt because it’s bad enough to be walking in here when I’m a cop, but to walk in looking like one is even worse.
I find Alarick, Cohen, Kendric, and Briella standing by the bar, talking amongst themselves. Without hesitation, I walk over. Kendric, who looks like his gorgeous self now he’s back in his leathers, glances at me. He gives me a glare that makes my heart do a funny little flip. He hates me, god does he hate me. I can’t say I blame him, either. I let him down, and that wasn’t right. He deserved someone to help him that night, someone to be on his side, and I wasn’t.
“What the fuck did you call her for?” Kendric growls.
Well, I’m glad to see we’re still talking like I’m not in the room.
“Nice to see you too, Kendric,” I mutter, crossing my arms.
“She is helpin’ us. You gotta get the fuck over it, brother,” Cohen murmurs, giving Kendric a hard stare.
“She can’t be fuckin’ trusted. How do you know she’s not the one who was feedin’ information to Dax? It makes fuckin’ sense.”
Wow.
He’s really going for it.
“If you’re going to accuse me of such nonsense,” I growl, “do it later. I’m here because Alarick called me here, not to listen to you carry on. Get over it, Kendric. I’m doing my job.”
“Funny,” he hisses, “didn’t do your fuckin’ job when you should have.”
I exhale and look to Alarick who is giving Kendric a glare that makes even me shy away. He slowly turns to me and his eyes scan over me. “You look tired.”
Well, that’s not what I expected.
“I don’t sleep much at the moment, you know, Dax running free and all that. Want to share with me what you’ve found? I’m dying to get back into something other than mundane cases.”
“There’s an officer at your workplace called Steven Blanche, correct?”
Blanche, yeah, I mean I know who he is. He’s not in my department but I see him almost daily getting around the station. He’s a lead homicide detective and is mostly busy working on cases outside of the office. He’s good at what he does, from what I know. He’s got a good name. I have no idea why he’d be getting mentioned.
“Yeah, I know who he is. He’s a homicide detective. What about him?”
“We’ve stretched further and started lookin’ into Peter instead of Dax. Peter is one of the top dogs runnin’ this show, and he keeps his nose clean, but he’s not doin’ that easily. Bennett was just one of the puppets in this little performance, and we’ve got word that one of the big players is a detective, a detective by the name of Steven Blanche.”
“No, no way,” I say shaking my head. “He’s got a huge reputation, he’s good at his job, and people come all over for his skills. There is just no way he’d risk his whole career being involved in something so illegal. This man catches criminals, he brings them to justice, it’s his job, and it’s a job that he takes very, very seriously from what I’ve heard.”
“Bennett is proof that people take risks for money. If he’s up there, the silent partner, the man behind the curtains, then he’s gettin’ a fuck load of cash. He’s also makin’ sure t
hat Dax isn’t found and Peter doesn’t have a trail. Peter calls the shots, we know that, but we have always had reason to believe he wasn’t workin’ alone.”
It just doesn’t make sense.
I can’t honestly believe Steven would be involved in this.
I don’t know him, of course, but he’s the last person I’d ever pick. To get that high up in the ranks, to be an investigator, that’s just not something you throw away.
“What makes you think Blanche is involved?”
“We’ve got our sources.”
“You’re going to have to do better than that,” I snap.
Alarick gives me a look that tells me he’s not going to take this crap from me. His jaw tightens, and he steps forward, leaning in close. “You’re a cop, half of your fuckin’ station is dirty, sorry if I’m bein’ careful about what information I throw around.”
Fuck this.
One minute he’s on my side, the next he’s not.
“You know what,” I say, shaking my head in frustration, “if you don’t trust me, then I’m out. I’ve been nothing but good to your club, and I’ve proven my loyalty. You call me here to give me information, but you’re only willing to give me a touch. I’m not here for a little, I’m here for the lot. I’m risking my career on this. Stop wasting my time.”
I turn and walk toward the door.
“Zariah!”
Briella calls my name and, just as I reach my car, she stops me with a hand around my upper arm. I turn to face her, my chest tight with rage. “What, Briella?”
“Are you okay?”
“Am I okay?” I laugh, shaking my head. “No, not really. Everything that could go wrong is going wrong and, after everything, Alarick doesn’t trust me. I don’t have time for that. Every day that Dax is out there, every day that this goes on, more women are losing their lives. Not to mention Kendric is going to go away for a very long time if we don’t find that man. Even though, right now, I couldn’t care less if he did.”
That’s a lie, but I’m angry, and right now I have no way of getting that anger out.
“Come out with me,” Briella offers, surprising me. I know she’s friends with Waverly, but as of yet, I’ve not made any friends with any of the girls because I’ve been too busy trying to keep my distance. “Merleigh, Karen, and I are going to the bar tonight—a few drinks and dinner. You should come along.”
She wants me to come along?
Why?
“I’m a cop, Briella ...”
She snorts, waving a hand. “You’re also a human with feelings and needs. I like you, Zariah, and I know Alarick does, too. Don’t take him too seriously. He’s trying very hard not to make another big mistake right now but he cares about what you think. Please, consider coming out with us. You look like you could use a night off.”
She’s right, I really could.
“Okay,” I say, mostly because the last thing I want to do right now is go home.
“Yay!” She claps. “I’ll swing by and get you around six. Is that okay?”
I look at my watch. That’s one hour away.
“Yeah, sure.”
I say goodbye to her just as Alarick walks out of the clubhouse and toward my car.
I get in and drive off.
Not today, biker.
Not today.
3
ZARIAH
“Zariah, you know Karen and Merleigh, right?” Briella asks as we walk into a local bar and restaurant in the middle of town.
Karen and Merleigh are sitting at a booth, and both girls smile at me as we approach. I give them a smile and a wave, saying, “Yeah, I know them. Hi, ladies.”
“How are you, Zariah?” Karen asks.
I take a seat on the squeaky red chairs and scoot over so Briella can squish in beside me. I shift in my tight, black dress, mostly because it has been way too long since I’ve put a dress this short on. I feel slightly uncomfortable but also really empowered to look anything like a cop right now. People look at you differently when you’re in uniform. They immediately get their backs up. It’s a damned shitty feeling.
“I’m okay, glad to be out and about. How are you?”
Karen smiles and tells me what she’s been doing lately, and Merleigh tells me that she’s started working at a local café and how good it feels to finally be doing something with her life. I feel for the poor girl—she had a hell of a time after being sold by Dax, and she’s been fighting her way back up to the surface since. That takes guts.
Cova, the other girl rescued, not so much.
Briella told me only days ago that Cova is getting worse. She’s been living with them and does nothing but sleep all day. She’s worried because no amount of therapy seems to be working. She’s sinking deeper and deeper into depression, and Briella is worried about how she’s going to get her out of it.
Cova has problems, big problems. She has lived a life many of us just can’t begin to understand. She fell for a man that is dangerous, a man who twisted her imagination into something that simply wasn’t real. She doesn’t know left from right, let alone how to move forward with her life. I actually feel bad for her.
I’d like to talk to her, but I’m not sure that would do any good right now.
“How is Waverly doing?” Briella asks me as a waitress places a round of white wine on the table. We all take a glass.
“Last I heard, she’s enjoying it. Mykel not so much.”
Briella laughs. “I can’t imagine any of those bikers liking the big city life.”
“No, me either,” Merleigh giggles.
“I’m glad they’re away from all of this, though,” I tell them. “They deserve a break after everything that happened. Waverly really went through a lot.”
Dax messed with her head, and Mykel and she have only just gotten on their feet to see where the relationship might take them. It’s a big deal.
“They really did,” Briella agrees. “What about you, honey? How are you doing with all of this? I know you’re pretty involved, and it must be hard.”
I take a sip of the drink—a long, long sip—then exhale. “I’m doing okay. If I had answers I might be better off but, honestly, I don’t even know where to start to get those answers. It’s so damned hard to find anything out. It’s all very well hidden. Anyway, let’s not talk about the case, we’re here to drink and have fun!”
All the girls raise a glass and we get to drinking. Then we eat. Then we dance. And as the night goes on, we get merrier and merrier, and I feel the stress of the world slowly fading away from my shoulders. Like maybe, just maybe, I can breathe for a second.
“We should go to the club; they’re having a party!” Briella announces after we’ve sweatily danced it out to another song and shot down another shot.
It’s not a bad idea but, at the same time, it’s a really bad idea. A huge part of me would love to go, but the other part of me, the smart part of me, knows it’s not good for me to be seen there right now. With everything going on, if I’m noticed or the cops are called out there, it’ll be very, very bad for me and this case.
“I probably can’t,” I tell her, my voice a little slurred. I’ve had way too much to drink. “If I go there and get caught, I’m risking the entire investigation and my career. I don’t think I’m ready to lose either.”
Briella gives me a guilty look. “My god, I’m such a bad friend. Of course you can’t go there! What was I thinking?”
I laugh. “It’s not your fault.”
“We can just go to another bar,” Karen suggests, wiggling her hips to the next song that comes on.
“Sounds fun.” Merleigh grins, her eyes a little glassy.
“I’m in!” Briella claps.
We all finish our drinks and get out of the bar into the fresh, cool, night air. The moment we hit it, I feel the alcohol rush to my head. It’s funny how that happens. You always feel the effects so much more clearly when outside in fresh air. I sway on my feet a little more than I’d like to admit,
and I find myself grabbing Briella’s arm to steady myself.
“Oh, boy, I think you’ve had too much to drink,” she asks, her eyes concerned. “Are you okay, honey?”
“I’m fine, I just ... I didn’t realize how drunk I was until we walked out here.”
“You should get home; I don’t want you passing out.”
She’s right, I really should. I’m not overly confident that I can actually get in and out of a cab, though, and that’s horribly embarrassing to admit.
My head spins.
God, this is not good. I knew I had drunk quite a bit, I just didn’t realize how much until this very moment. It hit me like a hurricane, and now I can’t stop my world from spinning. I grip the pole like it’s my very lifeline and try to stop myself falling onto the ground. This is really very bad.
“I don’t think I can get in a cab,” I say, praying I’m not slurring my words.
“It’s okay, let me call Alarick and see if we can get someone to give you a ride. It’s okay, we’re not going to leave you until we know you’re home safe,” Briella says, hanging onto my hand.
Karen smiles and steps forward, putting her coat around me and Merleigh tells me she’s going to get me a bottle of water. I’m so embarrassed, I drop my head and close my eyes, trying to stop my head spinning. I know I’ll regret this in the morning, but there’s absolutely nothing I can do about it now. Right now I am trying to focus on not passing out on this floor.
I’ve never felt like this before, at least not that I can remember. I went from zero to a hundred and for whatever reason, I’m finding it hard to control myself. My world is spinning, and even though I’m working hard on keeping it together, with every passing second it’s getting worse and worse.
“Someone is coming,” Briella says, hanging up the phone. I didn’t even hear her make the call. “It’s going to be okay.”
“She didn’t get drugged, did she?” Karen asks, rubbing my back. I can barely feel her hand there, everything feels numb.