Love's Battle (True Blue Trilogy)

by Angela Hayes

  Slumping down the cool door I landed in a crumpled heap and wept. Heartbreaking sobs tore from my chest, echoing through the stark silence of my apartment telling of my pain.

  “Oh child, I am sorry.”

  Avelbane, in her favored form of the eternal matron her eyes red from crying tears of her own, pulled me into her cold arms. Her comforting song, the same one she sang the day we were born, filled my apartment,

  Even in my grief I realized there were two things I could always count on.

  One, as much as I hoped it were otherwise, the man I loved would never believe in the beginning.

  Two, Avelbane would always be there to help pick up the broken pieces.

  Chapter 37

  Past Life III

  The pain of separation was deep and cutting. I expected Danton’s reaction but hadn’t truly prepared myself for the loss. In the deepest part of my heart I hoped that he’d understand without question. With Avelbane’s help I manage to crawl from the living room to the comfort of my bed where in the early morning hours before dawn I found a small reprieve from the constant ache of loss. Using her silver comb to brush my hair, Avelbane sent me to sleep. My body and mind weak with exhaustion I returned once again to my life with Isabella.

  There was a chill in the air that not even the roaring fire in the hearth could ease. Outside the rain drizzled unending, much like the tears of my angel. Looking at her head in my lap, it took me back to a night sixteen years previous and the whispered dreams of a young girl.

  Despite the tumultuous years with John, Isabella’s love for him had only multiplied with each new life they created. In sixteen years they welcomed five children, loving each to distraction. The overall consensus of John’s uncompromising and cruel temperament as king wasn’t a true reflection of his character. It was like there were two men sharing one body- the tyrant and the tender. It was the tender Isabella had loved and the one she mourned for today, the day of his burial.

  “Who will read to me while I nurse and change the babies? Who will I fight with? Love with? I know I can be a shrew, set in my ways, expecting much of others and life. How will John’s sons grow to be noble and strong without him?” The heartfelt words despite the tears grew soft, hitching on a gasp. “I loved John, Thalia. Now who will love me?”

  Isabella didn’t expect an answer and I couldn’t give her one, the future was too uncertain. Folding my body over hers I cried with her, feeling the pain of her broken heart as if it were my own.

  As I slept tears pooled in my closed eyes, running down my cheek to wet my pillow.

  Chapter 38

  Separation

  With the coming of dawn came the fresh pains of loss. Luckily it was Sunday and I had nowhere to be. Lying in bed I kept my swollen eyes squeezed shut against the morning rays, an action that had me seeing red behind my lids. Slowly I opened first the blue, then the green, blinked a few times for good measure. Despite how I felt, life continued on. Rolling to my side I brought Avelbane into focus. Where her comforting corporeal presence had once been, a white crow now sat, watching me with onyx colored eyes.

  “Morning.” I grunted, reaching out to trail a finger over her fingers.

  When I could no longer ignore the growling of my stomach I shuffled to the bathroom, my visitor on my heels as I rinsed my tear streaked face with cool water, doing my best to avoid looking in the mirror. Danton had walked away leaving love to hang in the balance. The proof in the mirror would be evidence enough; my blue glow wouldn’t be as strong today as it was yesterday. Not as strong tomorrow as it was today, and with each day that passed the glow would lessen and lessen until it was gone all together. Knowing that, I felt sick to my stomach. Breathing slowly through my nose, swallowing repeatedly to keep the rising bile under control as another wave of hurt coursed its way through my body I fought to calm the nausea churning in my belly.

  Walking into the kitchen my stomach growled pains of its own, but there was nothing that tempted me. Instead I settled for coffee, taking it and a roll of paper towels out to my hammock. The paper towels were not as soft as tissues but they worked better to mop up the waterworks, and my heartache. Passing the chest in the living room was like salt in my open wound and started the fresh round of tears that lurked just below the surface. I planned to pass the day surrounded by the comforting scent of my herb filled container garden and the heat summer had to offer. Sweat and tears, there would be no difference.

  I ignored the dull rapping knock on my front door. I knew it wouldn’t be Danton, so why should I answer it. As far as Mrs. Perceval, she could find her own teeth this morning, I was busy.

  Studiously I pushed the hammock into a swing. Avelbane standing watch from her perch on my deck railing.

  “Love, it’s Hope, you’ve got five seconds to open this door before I open it myself.”

  I didn’t budge.

  “One… two… three… five.” Keys jingled in the lock. Wait for it… “OOOf. Love come and get the chain lock off the door!”

  I stopped crying long enough to laugh. Coffee cup in tow, I went to let my sister in.

  “And to think I brought you ice cream and cookies.” Hope snarled as she sashayed through the door, throwing her empty arm around me for a quick hug. “Along with sliced cucumbers and mud masks. I knew you’d look like crap.”

  Did she really need to rub it in. “Thanks.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  Not one to be left out, our feathered friend came to greet her other charge.

  “What kind of cookies?” I asked, rooting up a pair bowls, spoons, and a single saucer while Hope unloaded the bags she carried onto the counter.

  Opening the baker’s box Hope took out the cookie in question, wafting the tempting scent under my nose. “White chocolate macadamia nut, your favorite.”

  I took the offered cookie.

  “Hello Avelbane, nice to see you again. Thank you for caring for Love during the night. Would you like a treat?”

  Avelbane bobbed her bird head in answer causing me to laugh again.

  “Faith is on her way back from Richmond, she’ll be here this afternoon. Want to talk about it?”

  I bit into the dessert, shrugged, and began to crumble pieces onto the saucer for Avelbane to enjoy. “What’s there to talk about? I told him, he couldn’t deal, end of story.”

  “I doubt that’s the end of the story.” Hope said sensibly as she dished up the ice cream.

  I hated it when she was reasonable.

  “You know as well as I do that men are just more rooted in reality than women. We’re more apt to believe in faery tales and the outlandish without blinking an eye. We three are no exception seeing as how we live it. You’ve rocked his comfortable little world Love. Give it time to settle down before you go the ‘woe is me’ routine.”

  I took the bowl she handed me and scooped up a bite, the cold soothing my sore throat, the sugar and milk calming the hurt inside. “The rejection still hurts. Knowing he might not come around, that’s tearing me apart.”

  Hope rolled her eyes. “Now you’re just moping! Pity party for one anybody? Love, try to be logical for once. How many men have you told that haven’t come around?”

  I thought for a second. “None.”

  “Okay! So what makes you think this one won’t?”

  I made a face at my ice cream. We knew all too well that just because you were destined to be with the one you loved, that didn’t mean you would be. We had learned the hard way there were no guarantees. Hope was a prime example with her stubbornness. And then there was our third life. It had been tricky for Faith to be with her Cinaed.

  “Take the time that you’re waiting for him to make up his mind to heal. If he doesn’t come around, then you’ll already be over him and it won’t hurt so much.”

  “You wouldn’t say that to Faith.” I mumbled, not liking it.

  “Faith is different and you know it. You’re not tied to Danton the same way she is to… whomever Cinaed is this
life. You have the ability to go on. Like a rock in the road, you simply walk around it. Faith on the other hand, she would pick it up and put it her pocket to carry with her.

  “And what would you do to that rock?” I asked, licking my ice cream from the spoon.

  “Pick it up and toss in away.”

  I didn’t take offense at Hope’s callous words. She’d been doing the exactly same thing for three hundred years now and it had worked for her thus far. While it wasn’t something I looked forward to doing myself, I couldn’t deny that she had a point. Why should I beat myself up over something I had no control over?

  “All right, I can see where you’ve got a point.” I conceded. Did I mention I hated it when Hope was reasonable?

  “Good than I’ll consider my work here done. Come on I brought movies.”

  Two bang-bang-shoot ’em up women empowering movies later courtesy of Angelina Jolie as the kick ass Lady Croft in Tomb Raider and Kate Beckinsale as a vampire on a mission in Underworld - because who really needed chick flicks when their heart was broken- an at home facial and one cat nap later I was in a much better mood. Hope was right, Danton just needed a little while to process what I’d revealed to him and I didn’t need to spend my days moping until I was sure he wasn’t coming back. I would handle life without him when I knew for sure that he wasn’t coming back.

  “Did you save me any ice cream?” Faith asked when she let herself into my apartment later that afternoon.

  “It was close, but we managed.” Hope slurred in a drowsy voice, cucumbers balanced on her closed eyelids.

  “Pigs.”

  I oinked a couple of times, “Well feed pigs.”

  Faith helping herself to what was left of the ice cream snagged the last of the cookies. Flopping down on the sofa, pulling Hope’s feet into her lap, she took notice of the white bird watching us from the top of my chest.

  “Hello Avelbane, it’s wonderful to see you again. How have you been?” At the bobbing nod, Faith smiled. “Good. Is this all they’ve done all day?” She asked the banshee.

  “It’s been a pretty good day.” Hope answered, trying to fall back into sleep.

  I rolled out of the hammock we’d pulled into the living room earlier, startling my feathered friend who flapped her wings in annoyance, an idea forming in my mind. I would put Hope’s advice to the test. I was ready to see if I was really one who could walk around the rock and act like nothing happened. “It’s about to get better.”

  “Why? What are we doing?” Faith asked cautiously, not liking the wild look she saw in my eyes.

  “We’re going rock climbing!”

  “Rock climbing?” Hope snorted in disbelief. “In this heat? You’re not serious are you?” She lifted a cucumber to look at me. “Oh my gosh you are!”

  “Indoor rock climbing.” I clarified, flipping through the phone book in search of a number and address. “It’s your re-payment.”

  Faith snickered into her ice cream, “Where’d you get an idea like that?”

  “It just came to me, something I remembered hearing someone talk about once. Come on it’ll be fun.”

  Hope let the round ring of vegetable fall back in place, “Damn.”

  It felt good to laugh again.

  ****

  We looked at the massive wall with equal parts trepidation and excitement. Or at least two out of the three of us did.

  “I can’t believe you’re making me do this.” Hope complained, adjusting the fit of her safety harness. “A tattoo wasn’t crazy enough for you. Now you feel the need to hang off the side of fake rocks by strings. Do you have no respect for your body, my body? What if I break a nail, or worse, a bone?”

  Same song, different dance. Ever since my moment of revelation Hope had done nothing but find various ways to repeat the same complaint. From the way she sulked, you’d think she was the one who just got dumped.

  “As long as it’s your jaw bone.” I retorted, having heard enough. “Then Faith and I won’t have to listen to your sniveling. The wires they’ll use to patch you up will give our bleeding ears a much needed break.”

  “Ladies, less mouth, more muscle.” Faith ordered as she began to pull herself up the wall, a grim look of determination in her eyes.

  “Look,” Hope started after a beat, her feet still firmly planted on solid ground. “I just think this is stupid is all. Who wants to climb the plastic side of blue wall when it’s ninety degrees outside?”

  Finding my first foot hold, I contemplated my next move. “We’re in an air conditioned building, Hope. It’s not that bad. Plus, you asked for a favor and I out of my deep and abiding love for you, granted it.” I pointed out with a grunt as my fingers found purchase.

  “And if you don’t be quiet you’ll invoke the complaining clause.” Faith pointed out, looking down on our middle sister.

  “Right,” I grinned, “Then I’ll have to think of something else for us to do. Who knows, next time it might involve jumping out of an airplane where the only thing separating us from sure death is the large sheet strapped to our backs.”

  “More like a tarp.” Faith countered, pulling herself up the next few feet.

  “Maybe I’ll decide on a piercing in a super-secret spot only your gynecologist will see.”

  Hope looked at me with a raised eyebrow. “You wouldn’t!”

  “Try me!” I challenged, my fingers gripping the plastic hold drilled into the wall. “Just think what your clients would say if they knew. Could even bring in a new level of clientele!”

  “On the bright side.” Faith puffed, pulling ahead, clearly enjoying herself. “You two have now found something else to compete in besides golf. Now that’s stupid. I see absolutely no point in following a ball around for hours. Drawback is there’s no spa here for you to wager over.”

  “I wonder why that is?” I asked her. “After a hard work out, a massage would work out the soreness in the muscles before they could tighten up. “

  “Not to mention a hot tub would be helpful.” Faith added.

  “True,” Hope drawled, a fighting light coming into her eyes. Taking her time she looked around, ignoring our errant conversation. “But there is a smoothie vendor.”

  “Were the cookies and ice cream not enough for you?” I gaped at her, my mouth hanging open, my arms shaking with the strain of staying in one place too long. My cookies were sloshing uncomfortably in my stomach.

  “Please. As many calories as we’re about to burn they’ll be long gone. By the time we’re done, we’ll need to refuel. Something with strawberries ought to taste good.”

  Pulling myself even with Faith I looked down on Hope. “First one to the top buys all three?”

  “Done,” Hope agreed, pulling her body the first few feet off the floor.

  “And my job here is done.” Faith grinned proudly, pulling ahead of us both.

  Chapter 39

  Idle Hands

  The first thing I did after our “rock” climbing foray was to take a long hot bath.

  Now, after making my way through half a pot of tea as I attempted another go round of tinkering on my thesis, I realized my muscles weren’t the only thing screaming. The silence was deafening. And the louder it got, the more oppressive my apartment became. Until all I heard were Danton’s accusations and the panic I felt threatened to swallow me whole.

  When I could no longer stand it, I made a break for it. Grabbing my purse and keys I headed for the one place I knew I was bound to be crowded in my solitude. The museum.

  Driving around to the cargo bay I let myself in to the Inventory/ Catalogue room. Flipping the lights on I set my purse and keys to the side, turning on my iPod for a little background noise. Making my way to the wall cabinets I took out a fresh pair of cotton gloves that would protect the objects from the oils and dirt on my fingers and keep fingerprints from showing up during their handling. Snagging the Inventory clipboard from its peg I scanned the top sheet, double checking what the interns had already accomplishe
d.

  Kate, a woman after my own job, had notes jotted in the corner of items she found of interest in the boxes we’d acquired from the St. Mary’s estate. Looking over them I could see where her train of thought was headed and I completely agreed with it.

  What made Art and Antiquities memorable was that there was always something new to look at. It wasn’t an oversight on the viewers’ part. We changed or rearranged a minimum of five displays a week. Sure it was time consuming, but in the end it paid off.

  After reading Kate’s notes I could see she was ready to head up a display of her own. Grabbing my blackberry I began to outline her notes in an email, adding some of my own as I saw fit. Pulling an empty cart from Storage I began to fill it with all the items she had earmarked.

  The woman’s ball gown, the soldier’s suit, the family bible, a tarnished pocket watch, jewelry box, a faded rug, various knick knacks, and any furniture I could move without help. Then I set it aside for her to work on when she came in in a few hours.

  Going back to the boxes I grabbed a crowbar, opening the newest arrival sent to us from a sister museum down south. Grabbing another cart I began checking the contents inside against the print out that accompanied the box.

  I worked my way through, rather methodically detached, until I found the small card holder buried toward the bottom.

  Pocket thin it could have been mistaken for a cigarette case. Only the lacking scent of tobacco telling its true purpose. Silver, it had been engraved with filigree that was designed to be manly verses feminine. I had given one similar to it as a gift to my last husband Boyd during our courting. He had just passed the bar exam. As a surprise I’d had business cards made up for him and had them tucked inside so that when he opened it, he would find them.

  I looked up from the case as the song on the iPod began to stutter and the lights began to flicker.

  “Penny for your thoughts?”

  Wiping the tears from my eyes, ugh I was tired of crying, I faced the banshee. “They wouldn’t be worth that much.”