Wanting Shaw

by Terri Anne Browning

Before I could argue with her, the hostess appeared, telling us our table was ready. I clenched my jaw and linked my fingers with Shaw’s. “We’ll talk about this again later. But for now, let’s just enjoy the rest of the night. Please?”

  She nodded, a sad smile on her luscious lips. “Yeah, okay.”

  Chapter 17

  Shaw

  Our pre-dinner conversation left me feeling empty inside, but I was determined not to let that ruin the rest of our weekend. I pushed aside the ache in my chest and focused on having fun with the guy who was all mine for another twenty-four hours.

  When the hostess showed us to our table, a booth in the back that was somewhat private given how crowded the place was, I pulled Jagger down onto the bench seat beside me and cuddled up against him instead of reaching for the menu the woman offered. She placed it on the table in front of Jagger with a knowing smile and a wink before promising our waiter would be with us soon.

  As soon as she walked away, he lowered his head and brushed his lips tenderly over mine, making me gasp at the perfection of the moment. I kissed him back, wanting more of him, his taste, his hands on my body.

  “Dimples,” he groaned when he lifted his head and pressed his forehead to mine. “I still have SNL tonight. Don’t make me go on national television with a hard-on.”

  I laughed softly and put a few inches between us. “I would say sorry, but it would be a lie.”

  “Don’t be sorry.” He caught my hand and lifted it to his lips, kissing my knuckles before opening his menu. “How hungry are you, babe? Because I’m fucking starving.”

  For the next hour, we sat there and talked while we enjoyed our meal. Jagger had always been easy to be around. He put me at ease even when he was driving me crazy. Before I’d made the mistake of falling for him, he’d been one of my closest friends, second only to Violet. I had missed just spending time with him, listening to his voice, hearing his deep laugh.

  When our dessert plates were cleared away, I was reluctant to leave the small sanctuary we’d created for ourselves. “I wish we didn’t have to go home tomorrow,” I muttered, unable to mask the disappointment in my voice.

  “Me too, Dimples,” he said with a heavy sigh. But then he pasted on a grin and kissed me one more time before standing. “Come on, assistant. I have to get to the studio.”

  I didn’t like the sly look in his eyes. “What exactly is expected of me, boss man?”

  He threw back his head and laughed in that creepy supervillain way that was much too sexy for my peace of mind. “Ah, baby. I’m so glad you asked.”

  “Something tells me I’m going to regret this,” I grumbled as he opened the back door of a cab and slid in first.

  For the next four hours, I was Jagger’s “assistant.” From the moment we got to the studio, he was a diva. It wasn’t that I didn’t expect it. Between Jagger and my brother, I knew exactly how demanding they could get before a show. It was their way of coping with their nervousness. They couldn’t control how they felt, so they needed to control everything else around them until their moment in the spotlight was over.

  I didn’t think less of him for it, because I understood why he needed the control. It made him look like a spoiled brat, and yeah, there were times he seemed like a total dick because of it, but he wasn’t. At least not completely.

  I got him a coffee, but it wasn’t made exactly how he liked it. I hadn’t been watching the barista when she was making it because the coffee shop had been too busy, even at the late hour. With a dramatic sigh, I flipped him off but went back to have them redo the drink. When I returned, he was arguing with some producer guy because they wanted him to sing one song, but he’d planned on performing a different one.

  “I didn’t bring a band with me,” Jagger told him. “Just my acoustic guitar. My manager told your people this was the song I was going to do. It’s not my fault you got your wires crossed and assumed I would do whatever the fuck you wanted.”

  “I spoke to your manager personally this afternoon, and she assured me you would be cooperative,” the guy told him, sounding annoyed.

  “Seeing as she didn’t tell me the plans had changed, I know you’re full of shit.” He sat back on the little couch in the dressing room and crossed his legs in front of him. Casually, he lifted his phone to his ear while giving the man in front of him a dispassionate once-over. “Hey, did you talk to some dipshit about what song I was going to sing tonight? No? I didn’t think so.” He lifted his phone to the guy whose jaw was suddenly so tight I figured he was going to need dental work come Monday. “She wants to talk to you, dude.”

  Pressing my lips together to keep from grinning, I moved around the guy and offered Jagger the fresh coffee. He took a sip and let out a contented exhale. “Perfect. Thanks, Dimples.”

  “Yes, Mrs. Armstrong. I apologize for the trouble…” I glanced over my shoulder in time to see the producer pale. “I assure you, your client is in good hands here. I’ll see to his comfort myself.”

  Whatever Aunt Emmie said to the man had his hand shaking as he handed Jagger his phone back. “You’ll be on in twenty minutes,” he muttered before making a hasty exit.

  “Ma?” Jagger took another drink of his coffee as he listened to his mother. When he noticed my eyes were on him, he winked, and I felt myself melt. “Nah, I’m good. Shaw is acting as my assistant. Maybe I should get her to fill in for you and Dad more often. She doesn’t bitch at me like you do. Plus, she’s so damn good to look at.”

  I rolled my eyes and dropped down into the makeup chair in front of the mirror. Seeing that the artist had left her brushes and makeup lying around, I started touching up my own makeup while I waited for him to get off the phone.

  “I just needed you to deal with that idiot,” he told her after listening for a moment. “They expected me to do a song that would require a full band. If they had said something about it earlier in the day, I wouldn’t have cared because I could have gotten a band here. But twenty minutes before I’m expected to go on live television, what did they expect?”

  He talked to her for a few more minutes before saying goodbye. “I have to go, Ma. I love you too. See you tomorrow night.” He hung up and then stood. Crossing to me, he offered me his phone. “Watch this for me, will ya, Dimples?”

  I took it without even looking at the screen and stuffed it into my purse. Once it was safely out of the way, he took both my hands and pulled me to my feet. With my boots on, I was only a few inches shorter than him, so all I had to do was tilt my head back ever so slightly for him to kiss me.

  With his thumb under my chin, he angled my head the way he wanted me and then brushed his lips over mine.

  All evening, I’d been questioning myself, wondering if maybe I was overreacting to the whole Luca and Violet breakup. I’d liked being able to call Jagger mine way too much. Even when I’d been working, I’d loved that all I had to do was look at him and he was jumping up to take care of me. Dinner had been perfect, and I’d been so close to saying fuck it and just letting everything go. The fear of being hurt was the worst, though, and it was what kept my mouth shut.

  But maybe I should give this—us—a chance…

  I opened my mouth to suggest maybe…just maybe, we could try. Before I could say anything, however, someone in a headset appeared at the door and cleared their throat to get our attention. Jagger lifted his head from kissing me again and gave me a sexy wink before brushing his lips over the tip of my nose. “Be back in a few, Dimples.”

  Licking my lips, I nearly moaned when I tasted him there, and I nodded. He grabbed his acoustic guitar case and walked out with the guy wearing the headset.

  Yeah, I thought as I slowly sat once again, already missing him. Maybe I should give this a real chance. Even though it had only been a day, I liked how he’d made the ache in my heart ease. I missed him so much, and I didn’t think I could go back to ignoring him so I wasn’t tempted to—

  That thought was cut off when his phone made an angry sound f
rom my purse. Frowning, I dug it out in case it was his mom.

  When my fingers wrapped around the cool metal, I slowly turned it to see the screen. Two texts were waiting there. The first was a picture I couldn’t see unless I opened his messages, but the second one was an actual message.

  Carmen: This is waiting for you when you get back tomorrow night, Jaggie. Come see me when you get home.

  “Who the hell is Carmen?” I muttered to myself.

  I’d never even heard Jagger mention that name in passing. But with Cannon no longer hanging out with him, and Jags not spending every free second at my house like he used to, I honestly didn’t know all that much about what was going on in his life.

  I closed my eyes, telling myself not to do it, but my fingers didn’t listen. Lifting my lashes, I hoped he hadn’t changed his passcode since the last time I’d seen him use it. After the first try, I was able to unlock his screen, and I opened his texts. There was no history of texts from Carmen, so this was either the first time she’d messaged him…or he’d deleted the ones she’d sent previously. From how comfortable she was with sending him nude pictures, her arm across her bare tits and one hand covering her pussy the only things protecting her modesty, I figured it was more likely the latter.

  Carmen was beautiful, with her wild, dark curls that fell over her shoulder and her caramel skin. Seriously, I’d never seen a more beautiful chick in my entire life, and I’d been around women the world had deemed the ultimate beauties. There wasn’t a single imperfection on her gorgeous body, so I could completely understand why Jagger would enjoy getting a text from her whether it was random or not. Considering her contact information was programmed into his phone, I knew that it wasn’t random, though.

  From the first glance I’d taken of Carmen’s kick-ass body on full display on Jagger’s phone, my heart had taken a direct hit. I pressed my hand to the center of my chest, trying to rub away the pain, but with each passing second, it only grew more intense.

  This.

  This was why I’d kept my distance.

  This was why I’d refused to even think about giving Jagger a chance after everything that happened after that motherfucking party.

  This was why we couldn’t be anything more in the future.

  Tears stung the backs of my eyes, and I angrily blinked them away, so fucking thankful I hadn’t opened my mouth before his performance and stupidly told him I wanted to give us a chance. When one tear slipped free, I scrubbed it away and tossed his phone on the table scattered with makeup.

  Pissed, I picked up the tube of lipstick and left him a note on the mirror.

  Carmen can’t wait for you to get home.

  Tossing the ruined lipstick in the trash, I grabbed my coat and purse. Outside, I hailed a cab. But on the ride back to the hotel, I lost the battle against my tears, and they started to fall in earnest.

  A few blocks from my destination, my phone started ringing. Seeing it was Jagger, I sent him straight to voice mail and then texted my mom.

  Me: I’m at the hotel. Going to bed. See you in the morning.

  Mom: Jagger is looking for you…

  Me: Fuck Jagger.

  Mom: Do you need me?

  The driver pulled up in front of the hotel, and I got out on legs that trembled without bothering to send a reply. I didn’t want to run crying to my mommy, but fuck, I wanted her to hold me so damn badly right then. I didn’t tell her that, though. Instead, I went straight to my room and locked the door.

  After a long, hot shower, I fell into bed dressed in a hoodie and a pair of sweats. I turned on the TV and turned the volume up then put in my earbuds and pumped up the volume on my playlist so I couldn’t hear if anyone knocked on the door.

  My phone lit up with a new message, and I lifted my lashes enough to read it.

  Mom: I’m here. Let me in.

  Me: Is it really you, or is this Jags pretending to be you so I’ll talk to him?

  Mom: Bradshaw Harper, let me the fuck in right now!

  She was the only one who dared call me by my full name, so I figured it was her, but I wasn’t a hundred percent. Sighing, I pulled my earbuds out of my ears and stumbled to the door. I glanced through the peephole just to double-check and let out a relieved breath when I saw Mom standing in the hall. Pulling the door open, I stepped back, and Mom didn’t waste time coming inside.

  As soon as the door closed behind her, she gathered me in her arms like I was still a little girl, and I couldn’t hold on a second longer. Everything I’d been trying to keep locked away suddenly came flooding out of me, and I lost control. I crumpled and sobbed in her arms until my throat ached.

  Somehow, we made it to the bed. My head was on her stomach as she stroked her fingers through my hair and just let me cry. It gave me a weird feeling of déjà vu, reminding me of when I’d taken care of Violet much like Mom was now taking care of me. Mom didn’t try to tell me everything was going to be okay, didn’t try to shush me. She just let me cry it all out, and because it had been months in building up, there was so much of it to release.

  I’d been taking care of Violet for four months, locking away my own pain and heartache since that fucking party. But now, after having a taste of what could have been, and then being knocked on my ass yet again with something as little as a damn texted picture, I couldn’t hold it back anymore.

  Hours passed, and I must have fallen asleep, because the next thing I knew, Mom was whispering to someone on the phone. “She’s asleep now… No, it’s fine. She’d just been holding on to this shit for months now, Ax. I don’t know what happened, and unless she wants to tell me, I’m not going to push. She’s entitled to a little privacy… We already said we weren’t going to put our noses in that. Cannon did enough damage with his petty bullshit.”

  She must have sensed I was awake, because she started stroking her fingers through my hair again. “Well, just tell him to give her a little time. She’ll talk to him when she’s ready… You go back with them tomorrow. Shaw and I are going to stick around for another day or so. Do a little shopping, have some girl time.”

  Fresh tears spilled from my eyes, and I pressed my face harder into her stomach to hide them.

  My mother, she was a hard-ass at times, but fuck, she was the best mom in the world.

  Chapter 18

  Jagger

  I knew before I even saw the angry red lipstick on the mirror that she was gone. I could feel her absence all the way down to my soul, as if the life had been sucked out of the room. But then I saw the words on the mirror and had to ball my hands into fists to keep from smashing the damn thing.

  Spotting my phone on the makeup table, I grabbed it and opened my text messages. Seeing the picture that was still open, I swallowed a curse. For months now, I’d been getting texts from the girls at school. They were all seniors and apparently had been daring one another to send me nudes. Their game was to see who could tempt me into fucking them. The first one to do so was the winner.

  It had started a few weeks after the party, once Gretchen told everyone she hadn’t hooked up with me when rumors had started floating around that she had. She’d shut them down, but it had gotten the girls wondering why I hadn’t fucked the easiest girl in our school.

  I’d known Carmen since the fifth grade, and other than me texting her a few times in the past to get notes for a class I might have missed, we didn’t talk much. She was hot, I’d admit I’d always thought that. But I’d never felt anything for her, and I’d honestly thought she was smarter and more confident than to pull something like this. But now it looked like she was following every other idiot in our grade.

  I’d thought the game was stupid but kind of funny. Because there was no way any of them was going to win. I wasn’t interested in anyone but Shaw.

  After deleting the picture, I tried to call Shaw. I had to explain and hoped she would listen. Before I’d left her earlier, I’d seen something on her beautiful face and thought she was going to put us both out of our miser
y. Maybe she would put her fears aside and let me show her how good it could be between us.

  Now, unless she gave me a chance to explain that godsdamn picture and text, I knew that hope would turn to dust.

  I paced the dressing room, begging her to just pick up the fucking phone. When she sent me to voice mail, I jogged out to the side stage to see if maybe she was with the parentals. Spotting her mom and my dad, I snuck around the side and up to them. Seeing me coming, Aunt Dallas grinned at me. “Great show, kiddo.”

  “Is Shaw with Uncle Ax?” I asked, glancing around for either of them.

  “Ax is in the bathroom,” she said with a frown. “We haven’t seen Shaw since you two left for dinner earlier.”

  “Fuck,” I groaned.

  “What’s going on?” Dad demanded as he stood and took me aside, away from Aunt Dallas and the crowd.

  I scrubbed one hand over my face. “She was watching my phone while I was busy. But I got a text, and she misunderstood something. I have to find her.”

  “Is this about that stupid game those girls are playing at school?” he asked. I nodded. After the first few pictures had started blowing up my phone, I’d told my parents about them. One of the girls who had sent me a nude was only seventeen, and I didn’t want to suddenly be accused of having underage porn on my phone.

  Noticing that some people in the crowd were paying way too much attention to us, I told Dad I was going back to the dressing room. I still had one more performance to do closer to the end of the show, so I couldn’t leave yet. But I wanted to say fuck it and go after my girl then and there.

  Only a few minutes after getting back to the dressing room, Dad and Uncle Ax walked in. “Shaw’s at the hotel,” Dad told me, and I was able to relax a little. At least I knew where she was now and that she was safe. “Dallas left to talk to her.”

  “What happened?” Uncle Axton asked as he took a seat on the couch, his hazel eyes on the message his daughter had left me earlier.