Be My Prince

by Julianne MacLean

  Nicholas inclined his head curiously. “How can you be devoted to someone you only just met?”

  She returned her attention to those captivating blue eyes that were such a torment to her in every way. “I could say the same to you, sir. You hardly know me, yet you declared yourself after three short minutes in a gallery. And from what I know of your reputation, you are notorious for leading unsuspecting ladies down a pretty but perilous garden path.”

  He studied her face carefully. “So it is my reputation that has ruined your opinion of me.”

  “Yes, but does it matter either way? The result is the same.”

  “It matters to me,” he replied, “for I would also like us to be friends.”

  Lucille returned to join them. “It is quite crowded here today, is it not? I wonder if Prince Randolph is nearby.” Rising up on her toes, Lucille raised a hand to shade her eyes from the sun. “I do not see him. Do you see him, Alexandra?”

  “No, Mama,” she replied. “Not yet.”

  “Shall we walk then?”

  Nicholas clasped his hands behind his back and strolled casually beside Alexandra.

  “It is quite a large park,” she coolly mentioned. “We might not encounter him at all.”

  Knowing this man’s motives, Alexandra realized he could easily have lied about his brother even being here. He might say anything to lead her astray and tempt her away from her goals.

  “We will search every corner,” he helpfully replied.

  They chatted about the weather for a while. Then Lucille cried out, “Oh look, there he is!”

  Alexandra turned. Indeed. It appeared that Nicholas had not been toying with her after all. His brother had graced the park with his presence—but was presently kissing the gloved hand of a blushing young lady in a bright blue dress.

  Lucille quickened her pace and kicked up a bit of dust as she left Alexandra and Nicholas behind.

  “I believe my stepmother is awestruck,” Alexandra said.

  “Then perhaps she should marry Randolph.”

  It was a rather tempting suggestion, Alex thought, but it wouldn’t give her what she wanted.

  They approached the squealing pack of young women, who all appeared ravenous for a single taste of handsome royal meat. They seemed perfectly prepared to fight to the death for it.

  “My word,” Alexandra said. “I’ll never get within fifty paces without being torn to shreds.”

  Nicholas watched the spectacle with dark disdain. “That’s always the way of it, and it pains me to say that I’ve become immune. It has been like this in Petersbourg for years. It doesn’t shock me in the least. Not any longer.”

  “I cannot imagine ever becoming immune to something like that.” They watched the appalling spectacle for a few minutes more. “No wonder he came to England,” she said with a sigh. “Though I suspect he must be disappointed to encounter the same thing here, when he had only hoped to escape it.”

  “My thoughts exactly.”

  She turned to him. “I must assure you, sir, that I am nothing like those women, and if you will permit me, I wish to apologize for their behavior. They do not represent the majority.”

  He regarded her intently. “Apology accepted, but I beg to disagree. I believe they do represent most women—at least the ones who are seeking a proposal of marriage from Randolph. Except for you. As you say, you are not like them. Why is that?”

  She sensed he wanted to know it for himself, not for his brother, but she would answer the question regardless, for it was information that could improve her chances with Randolph, and she genuinely hoped that Nicholas would eventually give up his pursuit when he realized it was futile.

  Which it was. She would not let it progress any other way.

  “I suppose I am different because I have been living outside of society most of my life,” she explained. “After my uncle sent us away, we gave up our hopes for grand marriages. Or perhaps I am jaded.”

  He stared at her in a way that made her feel apprehensive.

  “Aren’t we all?” he replied.

  A fast breeze blew through the treetops. She laid a gloved hand on her bonnet to keep it from flying off and looked up at the sky. “Where did that come from?”

  Nicholas looked up as well. “Life is a mystery, is it not? Do you wish to be escorted to my brother now?”

  She wanted to say, “No, not yet,” but it was a thoughtless impulse. Mr. Carmichael had invested a great deal of money with the understanding that Alex would do whatever it took to secure the Petersbourg throne—even push and shove her way through a crowd of silly young females. There had even been some suggestion that she should entrap Randolph in the worst possible way, but she was determined not to let it come to that.

  “Will you help me?” she said to Nicholas. “If you truly believe I am not like the others, can you not find it in your heart to talk to your brother on my behalf so that I might avoid this sort of thing?”

  He glanced at his brother. “But why do you want to marry him? And please do not insult me by telling me you are in love with him, because I know that is not true.”

  She sighed. “I’ve already told you of my situation, and I will not lie. I am ambitious. I wish to do something meaningful with my life.” At that, she looked up at him. “Have you ever been knocked down by someone, Nicholas? Have you been treated unfairly? If so, then you will understand how it has a way of rousing you to struggle to your feet and fight back harder than ever before.”

  He considered that for a moment. “So there is a hint of vengeance in your scheme,” he bluntly suggested.

  Vengeance? If he only knew how close he was to the truth.

  “I would not call it that,” she cautiously replied. “I simply have something to prove, that is all, and I am proud. I want the very best for my sisters and me. They deserve happiness, and so do I. I make no apologies for that.”

  “Nor should you.”

  “I believe people should have the freedom to improve their situation if they so desire,” she continued, “and to embrace their destiny, and to follow their hearts, no matter how difficult a road it might be to achieve a certain thing.”

  His eyebrows lifted. “Those are inspiring words, Lady Alexandra.”

  They both looked at his brother, who was now strolling toward the river. Lucille was following the crowd, but she turned and waved at them to follow.

  Nicholas offered his arm and Alex accepted it, but they did not hurry to catch up. In all honesty, she was not ready to end this conversation, which came as a surprise considering how she felt about this man.

  “I must warn you,” he said. “It is not easy to be a royal.”

  I know. Otherwise my family would still be alive.

  But of course, she did not speak those morbid words. Instead she grinned lightheartedly at Nicholas and gestured toward the crowd of women. “Oh, yes. Clearly your brother looks miserable at the moment.”

  Randolph had just taken the hand of a young girl, no more than twelve years old, and he was waltzing across the grass with her while everyone laughed and applauded.

  “I’m afraid he is a bit of a flirt,” Nicholas said.

  “I’ve noticed.”

  They reached the crowd of onlookers and joined in the applause.

  Randolph spotted them at last and bowed chivalrously to his dancing partner, who blushed and giggled. He excused himself from his admirers and came striding with good cheer toward them.

  Alex leaned close to Nicholas. “Will you help me, then? I would be forever grateful.”

  He looked her fondly in the eye. “I cannot say no to you, my lady. Your happiness is mine, so I suppose I have no choice in the matter.”

  Her heart turned over in response to those words. No one had ever said anything like that to her before. It caught her off guard and she felt suddenly flustered.

  “Good afternoon, Lady Alexandra!” Randolph said as he reached them. Lucille came trotting along behind him. “I am delighted that N
ick could convince you to visit the park today.” He held out his arm. “Would you care to take a stroll with me down to the water?” He turned to Lucille. “With your permission of course, madam.”

  “Permission granted,” she cheerfully replied.

  Alex let go of one prince’s arm and did not look back as she walked off with the other. But in the privacy of her own mind she wished overwhelmingly that Nicholas was the one who would wear the crown, because he was the one she desired.

  * * *

  Nearly a half hour later, Prince Randolph escorted Alex back to Lucille, who was waiting under the shade of an oak tree with Nicholas.

  “What a lovely afternoon for a stroll,” Lucille said. “Did you enjoy yourselves? What do you think of our park, sir?”

  “It is almost as delightful as the pleasure of Lady Alexandra’s company,” Randolph replied. “I have sent for the coach, which should be along at any moment. I do hope you will both attend the play at Covent Garden on Tuesday. Do you have tickets?”

  “We do indeed,” Lucille replied.

  “Very good then. Ah, look. Here is your driver. Nicholas, will you see the ladies safely home?”

  “It would be my pleasure to do so.”

  The coach pulled to a halt on the lane, and the ladies bid the prince farewell before allowing the footman to escort them into the vehicle. Alexandra seated herself on the elegant blue leather upholstery and took a deep breath.

  She was relieved that was over. There were far too many moments when she’d found it difficult to manage a sincere smile because she felt no spark of attraction whatsoever for Prince Randolph. Not that she’d expected to fall in love with him. In fact, she’d expected to fight a long-standing battle with her contempt for him.

  When it came to his roguish younger brother, however, her blood rushed with excitement and no amount of self-restraint seemed to make any difference.

  She could not bear it. It was going to drive her mad.

  “How was it?” Lucille asked. “He seemed quite enraptured. He must have been if he was willing to leave all those other young ladies behind. You were the only one he singled out to escort along the path.”

  “He was very charming,” she flatly said.

  “Charming? That is all you have to say about it?”

  Alex was not in the mood for Lucille’s blunt interrogation. There was a sickening knot in her stomach the size of a turnip, and she just wanted to sit quietly for a moment. “He was charming and gentlemanly and everything else, but please don’t speak now. Nicholas will be here shortly.”

  Just then, his large form loomed in the open doorway of the coach. He gripped the handrail and swung inside.

  “You are so kind to see us home,” Lucille said to him.

  He smiled at her. “I trust it was a pleasant afternoon for you?”

  “Oh, it was much more than pleasant! We are both so grateful that you decided to pay a call today. Perhaps tomorrow you will knock on our door again and there will be some other grand adventure awaiting us!”

  Lucille looked out the window while Alex cautiously locked eyes with Nicholas.

  As the coach rolled along, they watched each other but did not say a word. The tension, however, was palpable, for she knew his feelings. He had made them excruciatingly clear.

  She, on the other hand, must keep her traitorous feelings secret from everyone. She could not reveal even the smallest measure of her heart.

  As the coach pulled to a halt in front of the house, he stepped out first and assisted Lucille out of the vehicle.

  “Thank you again,” she said. “We enjoyed ourselves immensely. And please tell Randolph that we will look forward to seeing him at Covent Garden.”

  “I will deliver the message,” he replied.

  Without looking back, Lucille sauntered to the front door and waited while Alex took hold of Nicholas’s gloved hand. As she stepped down, however, he did not let go. He clung to her fingers and she had to pull them firmly from his grasp.

  “When I watched you go off with my brother,” he said in a low, gruff voice, “I didn’t like it. I was jealous. I am still jealous.”

  Startled by his unexpected confession, Alexandra wet her trembling lips. “I beg your pardon?”

  He glanced up at the front of the house to ensure that Lucille could not hear what he was about to say. “I know I said I would help you, and I will because I want you to have what you desire. But I believe you are mistaken about what you think you want, Alexandra, because I believe you desire me.”

  Her heart began to beat very fast. “I don’t know what you are talking about.”

  “Yes, you do.” There was a dangerous, almost angry level of persistence in his voice.

  Meanwhile, she couldn’t seem to make her feet work in order to walk away from him.

  “We’ve only just met,” she argued, as if she did not feel the same way … as if she could convince him that whatever attraction he felt was no deeper than paper when, in reality, a wild fever had stirred her blood as well. Even now, here on the street, the intensity of it struck her like a firestorm. “Surely whatever you are feeling will pass soon enough,” she added. “You will find some other woman to dally with.”

  “Dally?” He frowned. “Again, you judge me by my reputation. You think I am not capable of commitment.”

  His indignation both surprised and intrigued her. “Well? Are you?”

  “Of course I am. I have loved before, and contrary to what the world thinks of me, I wish to love again.”

  She darted a glance at the house and expected her stepmother to call her in at any moment, but Lucille continued to wait.

  “What happened to this woman you loved?” Alex asked before she could stop herself. “I am hesitant to ask where she is now. Not ruined, I hope.”

  A muscle clenched at his jaw. “Did you ever stop to consider the possibility that I was the one who was jilted and left for another?” He looked down at her lips, then shook his head, as if he did not wish to reveal any more ugly details. “Let us simply say that I am not cavalier about matters of the heart. I know how it feels to want something and to be ultimately disappointed.”

  Oh, what was it about this man that aroused her so? Each time he spoke, she was captivated. Whenever she looked at him, she shivered with desire. She had felt nothing close to this while walking in the park with his brother. That had been proper and polite. Artificial. Deceitful, even. Most definitely a chore.

  She had not known that an attraction like this could even exist.

  “Perhaps one day,” she said, still determined not to become reckless of mind, “you will find another special woman to love, but I am afraid it cannot be me. I believe you are mistaken in your impression of my feelings. You do not know me at all. You are laying your affections in the wrong place.”

  But heaven help her, she was plagued by her feelings as well, and he was not wrong about that. He saw her exactly as she was, and she had lied to him just now.

  One giant, heartbreaking lie on top of so many others.

  “I must go,” she said.

  He reached out to stop her. “Wait.”

  The raw command in his voice caused her to halt in her footsteps, but she did not dare turn around.

  “I will bring the coach around to escort you and your stepmother to the theater on Tuesday,” he said. “Be ready for me at seven o’clock.”

  She was furious with him for ordering her about in such a manner and for igniting her passions when she did not wish for them to be ignited, yet she could not bring herself to refuse.

  “Very well. Do not be late,” she replied with an equal force of command, though she hated herself for her surrender as she hurried to the door.

  Chapter Seven

  The following day, the St. James’s Palace coach pulled up in front of the house on Grosvenor Square, but this time Nicholas did not step out.

  Instead, Alex found herself watching with stark disappointment—which vexed her terribly—as a
servant knocked on the door, delivered what appeared to be a letter, returned to the coach, and drove off.

  Was it a note from Nicholas, or was it an official communication from the palace?

  It was not easy to maintain an appearance of calm, but Alex managed to gain a stranglehold on her emotions, for she could not possibly let anyone learn of her foolish infatuation with the future king’s younger brother. She must work harder to smother it.

  “A letter from the palace, Your Grace,” the footman said as he entered the room.

  Despite all her best intentions to remain indifferent, Alexandra’s heart sank with disappointment as she watched the footman deliver the letter to Lucille, who picked it up off the silver salver.

  “Oh look, there is something here for you, too, Alexandra. Not one but two letters from the palace.” She held out the second letter, which Alex accepted with the pretense of disinterest.

  “Come, come, what does yours say?” Lucille broke the seal on her own. “Mine is an invitation for us both to join Prince Randolph on Thursday for a tour of the Egyptian Hall.”

  Alexandra turned her back, broke the seal, and stared at the letter briefly while her heart began to pound out of control. “That is what mine says, too.”

  Then she politely excused herself and hurried to her room—in order to read Prince Nicholas’s personal letter in private.

  My dear Lady Alexandra,

  Please accept my most sincere apologies for my behavior when we walked in the park together and later parted ways at your door. It is not my custom to allow my passions to overtake my good sense, and I am still struggling to come to terms with how I behaved and what I must accept—that your ambitions are engaged elsewhere.

  For that reason, I must honor your wishes by bowing out of the race.

  I also believe that I would be doing a disservice to my country if I deprived the people of Petersbourg of such a strong and beautiful queen.

  I will therefore offer my assistance to you, for I am nothing if not your devoted servant in all ways. I will advise my brother to recognize your superior qualities, and I will dedicate myself completely to the task of helping you achieve all that you desire.