Finding Strength: A Club Dark Novel

by Reagan Hollow

  “Shall we?” I look up to see Grant is holding his arm out for me and not Cory like I expected. My heart stutters a little, then promptly returns to normal, knowing on some basic level that this man is safe.

  Taking his arm, I allow him to lead me into the stadium, nerves still bundled in the pit of my stomach.

  I have a brief and sudden moment of complete and utter bliss, watching my woman with my father. It gives me a sense of hope for all of us. I watched quietly as my mother looked her over. I know it made Lacey uncomfortable, but she did amazingly. Jackie Lewis can be a force to be reckoned with and she can bring the strongest men to their knees. I was proud to see Lacey hold her own with my family, especially given everything she’s been through recently and her current state of mind.

  What did confuse me though, is the looks mom kept giving her. I noticed it almost immediately, and when she finally said something to her, it was as if she was giving her a compliment and an insult, all wrapped up in a pretty package.

  I make a mental note to question her about it later. For now, I take comfort in seeing some of Lacey’s walls start to crack, at least around my Dad. I’m not the least bit jealous, he’s just got that effect on people. Lance on the other hand, we have some words to exchange.

  Seeking my brother out, now that I know Lacey is in capable hands, I find him backstage. I’m just about to lay into him when I see him throw the yellow sash around his neck. The one that labels him as the Valedictorian.

  I couldn’t stop the surprise or pride spreading across my face if I wanted. Last Ansley and I talked, Lance was getting in and out of trouble. She never said anything about his grades, but I guess I never bothered to ask either. I’ve tried to give him some space over the years, knowing he used to blame me for our parent’s sudden departure. Not that I don’t agree with him, they did leave because of me. But they didn’t just leave me behind to pick up my broken pieces, they also left behind a troubled teenager that they could have took with them. Before he has a chance to notice me standing there, I duck out, feeling like a total jackass. I’ve been away from my family far too long; I don’t even know them anymore. Time to change that shit.

  Being left alone with Cory’s parents wasn’t so bad. Other than the fact that his mom kept shooting daggers in my direction, she wasn’t overly hostile, so I won’t complain, but it is frustrating. If she has a problem with me I wish she would just say something already.

  Not long after we take our seats, about five rows back from the stage, Al and Greta show up, arm in arm. Al, looking very dapper in a crisp black suit, complete with a black bowtie and top hat. Greta, beautiful in a plum colored dress that flows all the way to the floor. Her hair twisted up into a conservative bun.

  “What’s the deal with my staff hooking up?” Cory whispers into my ear, startling me and causing goosebumps to spread down my arms.

  I shiver against him, and it has nothing to do with being cold, though he doesn’t know this. His hands come up to rub my arms, stopping at my cast, “The doctor is supposed to remove this tomorrow. He said it’s likely that you will need a new one, but one that’ll allow a little more movement.” This is good news for me. I can’t stand having this thing on my arm. It’s sweaty and itchy and I’d give anything to be able to wash it.

  “What did you mean about your staff?”

  “Like I don’t know about Alex and Amber? Please, Lacey, I may be out of practice in the dating field, but I’m still a man.” Of course, he’s not stupid. I just hope that doesn’t get Amber into any kind of trouble. True, she flirts with Alex, and I know her feelings run deep, but the girl has some crazy serious work ethics. She’s not going to jeopardize her job for a man–her words not mine.

  The lights begin to dim as a short, stubby man makes his way onto the stage. I relax into my seat, threading my finger together with Cory’s.

  About halfway through, I get an overwhelming urge to vomit. Not able to ignore it any longer, I’m out of my seat and charging for an exit without a single word to anyone.

  I find a sign that points to the restrooms and head for it with lightning speed, I barely make it into the stall before the contents of my stomach are emptied. Sweat beads down my back and clings to my hair, pasting it to my neck and forehead. My body crashes to the floor as I feel all my energy deplete.

  “Here you go.” I jerk my eyes open, I must’ve shut them from exhaustion, to meet the greens of Mrs. Lewis. Oh God, how embarrassing.

  “Thanks.” I reach out for the wet paper towel she’s holding for me. Her eyes grow serious; she looks as if she’s weighing on a decision and I really wished she’d just spill it already.

  “How far along are you?” She blurts out.

  No words, I have absolutely no words for this woman.

  “Hello? Sweetie, you are rolling in the pregnancy glow right now. I saw it as soon as I spotted you. Surely you must feel it?”

  “I have no clue what you are talking about.” This comes out on a croak, the words trying their best to get stuck in my now abused throat.

  “Any stomach cramps? Clearly you have the nausea and vomiting, have you missed your period?” She fires out these questions, and I can’t even think straight. I mean, sure, I can say yes to all of them, but look at what I’ve been through. I’ve chalked the pain in my stomach to the abuse, and everyone knows you can miss your period from stress, big deal. With everything that has gone on, I haven’t even thought about my period.

  I can’t help but let her words sink in. Oh, God! Please don’t let this be happening. I refuse to believe I am pregnant.

  Tears roll down my cheek as another round of nausea takes over me. Throughout it all, Mrs. Lewis grabs the sides of my hair and pulls them away from my face. She whispers reassuring words into my ear. Things like, everything is going to be okay, and I have you. It was odd, yet comforting coming from her, this woman who has intimidated me since the moment I met her.

  “You didn’t know, did you?” I just quietly shake my head at her, I want so badly to deny it, to tell her it’s not true and she must be mistaken. But, somewhere deep down I fear it might be true. “When do you see the doctor again?”

  “Cory says he is set to come out tomorrow, to check on my hand.”

  BANG! BANG! BANG!

  “Is everything okay in there?” I hear Cory say from the other side of the door.

  “Clean yourself up and I’ll stall him.” She stands quickly and reaches her hand down to help me up.

  “Please don’t say anything to him about this.” I don’t want to alarm him to anything until I know for sure.

  She studies me for what feels like an eternity before she finally lets out an exasperated breath. “I don’t like keeping secrets from my son, but I suppose this is your battle. Though I’ve been through this myself,” she gestures toward my belly, “three times already, so I know what I’m seeing. I can respect the fact that you want to know for sure.”

  “Know what for sure.” My head snaps up and my eyes collide with his. His presence is dominating everything else in the small stall that is now occupied by three bodies.

  “Oh nothing, sweetie, just girl talk.” Her voice takes on a whole different tone, going from sweet and comforting, to ice and sugar. Good lord, this woman is something else. Strangely though, I like her. And I think I’m really going to like having her on my side.

  “Are you okay?” Cory directs his penetrating gaze my way. I know he thinks his mom is talking shit, but he makes no comment on it.

  “I’m better now,” I lie.

  “Are you sure? You’ve been in here a long time. The graduation is already over.” What? No way, it’s only been a few minutes.

  His mom storms out without a word.

  “Would you like to tell me what’s really going on in here?” He questions me softly. I feel so terrible for lying to him. But what if his mom is wrong, and I get him worrying for nothing. But, what if she’s right, and I am pregnant.

  Without knowing what else to say, I
cover my tracks the best way I know how, “Your mom was telling the truth, it was just girl talk. I wasn’t feeling well, food poisoning or something, and she held my hair while I got sick. She asked me what my feelings were for you, and I told her the truth, that I love you, but our situation is a bit complex now, and–” taking a deep breath, I search for the right words, realizing I’m being honest, if not for the thoughts running through my mind. “And I told her I wasn’t really sure about your feelings for me.” There, that’s out in the open. On some level, I know he loves me. But he acts as if I’m going to break. Yes, what happened to me was tragic, but he’s not giving me the opportunity to speak for myself. While I’m learning that most everyone else’s touch gives me the shivers, and not in a good way, Cory’s is like a balm. Soothing over any hurt I may feel both on the inside, and out. So I wonder, is it him that has the problem?

  I again find myself wondering if I’m tainted in his eyes.

  She guts me with her words, and the sincerity I see burning in her eyes. How could I ever let her doubt me? If anything, my love for her has only gotten stronger. I felt what it was like to be without her for just a short amount of time. That alone, almost crushed me. To go any longer or to possibly lose her forever, would end my very life, it would destroy me. I thought she knew this. Hell, I thought I knew a lot of things. Turns out, I’ve been wrong on so many accounts.

  “Never, ever doubt my love for you. I would follow you to the ends of this earth and right on into Hell if that’s what you asked me to do, so never,” I stroke my hand down the side of her face spreading my fingers out across her lower cheek, before moving down to her neck, “ever,” trailing around the back of her head, my hands bury into her soft, lush hair, bringing her face closer to mine, “EVER doubt that.” My lips crash down on hers, swallowing up her cries. Logic and reason flow completely out the door when I slam her up against the stall door, wrenching her leg around my waist. Our lips never break contact as I pick her up off the floor and she hooks her feet around my back. My erection strains to be let loose as I feel her heated core through my pants. I’m so close to taking her against this bathroom door, right here and now. I remove my lips from hers and slowly trail them down the side of her neck, tasting the sweet/salty tears that have collected themselves at the hollow in her throat.

  When a throaty moan vibrates from her mouth straight into mine, I thank God above for the single remaining thread of restraint I have left. I know I’ve got to stop this and fast, before I go against all common sense and fuck her hard and fast in the bathroom at my brother’s high school graduation.

  That thought alone is enough to have me setting her back down on her feet, righting her dress, and planting a chaste kiss to the side of her cheek. The blush that’s now there warms my heart.

  Smiling down at her, I pull her from the bathroom before I do something we both might regret later.

  My anger and disappointment is tangible as we walk out of the bathroom. There’s no room left in me to feel any shame. Not even when I look up to find several pairs of eyes staring right at Cory and I as we exit the bathroom. No telling what they must see, but I couldn’t care less at this point.

  What I wish, is that he would quit treating me like I’m fragile. I’m not some piece of porcelain that’s about to break. I’ve had plenty to struggle through in my life and what happened with Aaron is just another hurdle I will get past.

  Guess it’s about time that I show him I’m a lot stronger than he’s giving me credit for. And if he’s not man enough to make the move, then I guess I will.

  We come to a stop beside his family, his brother now amongst them.

  “There you are.” Ansley loops her arm around mine and drags me away from Cory. “We’re going to go grab a bite to eat, and we’ve voted for the women to ride together, a little... bonding time, what do you say?” My mind is screaming no, but glancing over at Cory and seeing the worried expression he’s now wearing, I say yes.

  “Are you sure about this?” He gives me a gentle squeeze before he opens the back door to his sister’s black Mercedes.

  “Yes.” No!

  “We’ll be right in front of you. And you can call me if you need to.” He slips something smooth and cold into my hand. Glancing down, I see that it’s my cell. Funny how technology can go completely out the window when you don’t even think about it.

  He gives me a gentle hug, all remnants of the passion we felt just moments before gone.

  “I’ll see you in a few minutes.” He waits for me to climb inside the car before he shuts the door and walks away.

  The anxiety of being trapped in a car alone with Cory’s mom and sister threatens to take over me, but I quickly squash it. Since when am I this anxious to be alone, in the company of others? I don’t like it. I miss my independence, dammit.

  “Ever the gentleman, my brother.” Ansley says from the driver seat, while Mrs. Lewis climbs into the seat beside her.

  “How are you feeling, dear?” She narrows her eyes at me.

  “I’m fine. Thank you.” I give her a tight smile before glancing out the window. I watch as the car pulls away from the stadium, slowly leaving behind hundreds of people that eventually looks like little ants scurrying about.

  “You don’t mind if we make a pit stop, do you?” Ansley looks at me through the rearview mirror.

  “No, not at all,” I say calmly, though I feel anything but. Relax, Lacey. These people are not your enemy. Stop being so damn paranoid.

  Willing myself to relax, I lean back in my seat and try to enjoy the ride.

  Not five minutes later, the car begins to slow as we come to a stop outside of an old Ingles Grocery Store.

  “I’ll only be a minute,” Cory’s mom states before she climbs out of the car.

  “So, you and my brother?” And, it begins. I was wondering when the, how does a girl like you end up with a guy like him, questions would begin. But, she surprises me. “Are you happy?”

  I take a second to really think about her question.

  “Cory makes me very happy. It’s not my happiness I’m worried about.”

  “Oh, sweetheart, if you mean Cory, you have nothing to worry about there.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I know my brother. I’ve never seen him so happy. Yes, I’ve seen him in love before, but never in love and happy. It’s a unique and hard combination to find.” She gives me a stern look. “I know you’ve been through a lot lately, but I wouldn’t be a very good sister if I didn’t say this, he’s been through a lot, too. More than most can deal with. Don’t break his heart.” I can tell she’s serious and that the love she carries for her brother runs deep. Which brings up my question, “What's going on between your brothers?”

  “It’s really not my story to tell, but I’ll give you this much, Lance holds Cory responsible for why our parents left.” Part of me can’t blame the kid, but the other part, well, she doesn’t sympathize. “Cory doesn’t control your parents; do they not make their own decisions?”

  “Try explaining that to a sixteen-year-old. That’s how old he was when he started to question everything around him. One mention of Cory, and the blame game began, only it never shifted. Lance is an adult now, and while I know he now understands, he’s gone so long resenting Cory, that I think he has a hard time harboring any other kind of feelings.”

  There’s a sad note to her voice that I can relate to. She’s at a loss, but adjusts the best way she knows how. I admire her strength.

  Mrs. Lewis climbs back into the car with a small grocery sack attached to her arm. “Ready?” She questions Ansley, who pulls off without a word.

  After a few more minutes, we pull up outside of an Olive Garden, and I have to say, instant relief floods me at seeing one of my favorite restaurants. I thought for sure that Cory and his family would want to eat somewhere fancy.

  We pull into a parking place, I move to make my way out of the car, when Mrs. Lewis stops me. “A word, if you don’t mind?”
Though her words are phrased as a question her tone leaves no room for debate.

  Shutting myself back inside with her, I’m instantly suspicious, even more so when Ansley climbs out, shutting the two of us in alone together.

  She turns in her seat, clutching her shopping bag between her hands.

  “I hope you don’t see this as an intrusion on your privacy, but merely as a place of concern.” She gives me a tight-lipped smile and thrusts the bag into my hand before removing herself from the vehicle.

  I’ll admit that my curiosity is piqued. But more so that she’s gone out of her way to buy me something and we’ve only just met.

  Opening the bag, I find a small, rectangular box staring back at me, the word Clear Blue written across the front. While I’ve never had to buy one of these before, I’m not naïve as to what a pregnancy test looks like. I find my anger building with a ferocious intensity at her audacity.

  Shoving the bag into my purse, I’m out of the car and in her face in two seconds flat, “How dare you?” I don’t waste any time waiting for her response. “I am more than capable of buying for myself, and frankly, I don’t find it to be any of your business.” I’m fuming and by the look of surprise she carries across that flawless face, she wasn’t expecting my anger. Well, tough shit.

  “I’ll take your stupid test, only because I’d like to know myself. But the next time you get the idea to overstep and help, DON’T. I’m not that type of girl.”

  Leaving her standing there looking speechless, I hold my head a little higher as I make my way inside in search of Cory.

  It didn’t take long to find him though, he was standing just inside the doors; opening them for me as I approached.

  “What was that all about?” He gestures with his head toward the parking lot.

  Shrugging, I give him the only answer he’s going to get for now, “That, was me informing your mom that she can’t intimidate me.” I give him a sexy, sweet smile while grabbing his hand, “Come on, I’m starving.”