The Gifted Child

by Penny Kline

  ‘No, separated, but when it goes to court his father’s not going to make a fuss because he only lives just round the corner so he can see Marcus whenever he likes.’

  ‘That’s good.’ She wanted to ask if Theo would have felt better if she lived just round the corner, but she was afraid of the answer, afraid it was William he missed, not her.

  ‘Why did I stay with Dad?’ he asked again. ‘It’s all right, you don’t have to pretend. I just want to know the truth.’

  ‘Sometimes people who live together stop loving each other.’ She was falling back on the usual mindless platitudes because she couldn’t think of anything better. ‘But that doesn’t mean your mum stopped loving you. I expect she thought you’d be more settled with Dad, because of her work, because she’s an actress.’

  ‘She doesn’t like the word “actress”.’ He had a sneer in his voice. ‘She says ladies are called actors these days. I thought she was going to marry John but I don’t think she is. He’s all right but he doesn’t know anything about football and he calls me “Sonny Jim”.’ He began to giggle, then the giggling turned to laughter that brought tears to his eyes. ‘Sometimes John stays the night,’ he squealed, ‘but in the morning he’s so horrible Mum says she doesn’t want to see him any more, only she always does. He eats lots and lots of pills, not drugs, I don’t mean drugs. He gets them from the health food shop and he wants her to have them too. What a prick!’

  Determined not to make a single adverse comment that could be reported back to Ros, Kristen said nothing, just turned her head to smile at him. But his mood had changed again and he was breathing hard.

  ‘If I ask you something,’ he opened the glove compartment and clicked it shut again, fiddling with the catch on his seat belt, ‘will you promise not to tell her?’

  ‘Yes, of course.’ It was never possible to make such an absolute promise to a child but if it was humanly possible …

  ‘I heard her talking to some of her friends,’ he said. ‘She thought I wasn’t listening. She thought I was watching a programme about newts. They were laughing and drinking wine and stuff and she said Dad was a bit of a headcase.’

  How could Ros be so stupid, talking about William in front of him, imagining he would fail to pick up such a comment, thinking it was all right to make jokes, even though Theo had been devastated by his father’s death?

  ‘I don’t suppose she meant anything, Theo. When people have been married and they’ve split up, they often say things about each other.’

  He shook his head. ‘Headcase means mad.’

  ‘I expect she just meant Dad liked to enjoy himself, have fun. Rock climbing, and that time he did a bungee jump. What he’d really have liked was a round the world trip in a balloon.’

  ‘Is that why someone murdered him?’

  ‘No, of course not.’ She was shocked. Had Ros said something else? ‘It was an accident, a terrible accident. The man who did it …’ But he wouldn’t let her finish.

  ‘Mum doesn’t think it was an accident.’

  ‘Yes she does. She’d been drinking. You know what people are like when they’ve had a few drinks. Listen, I forgot to tell you, Matthew’s father came round. Matthew’s been missing you a lot. Next time you come down I’ll arrange for the two of you to have a kickabout on the Downs.’

  ‘When?’ He sounded puzzled. ‘When did Matthew’s father come?’

  ‘I wasn’t there. A few days ago. Mrs Letts told me.’

  ‘That’s funny.’ He was silent for a few moments, glancing at her then looking away. ‘I had a postcard from Matt yesterday. He and his mum and dad and his sister are on holiday in a place called Menorca. They’re not coming back till the end of next week.’

  Not Matt's father? So who was it? Don't think about it, not now. Later she would ask Mrs Letts what he looked like, although the woman was unlikely to remember accurately and might even make it up.

  When they reached Cardiff, the car park Kristen remembered was full and they had to search for a space then walk back to the shops. She had decided to buy Theo whatever game or toy caught his eye, regardless of what Ros might think. But was that how he wanted to spend the afternoon? How much did Ros allow him to talk about William? Don’t think about it, darling, it’ll only upset you. Think about something nice instead. They passed McDonald’s but Theo said he wasn’t hungry, and muttered something under his breath.

  ‘Sorry,’ Kristen said, ‘I missed that.’

  He sighed. ‘I said I have to make a new life for myself.’

  ‘Oh, Theo.’ She could feel a tight, hard knot in her chest. ‘Is that what Ros … Is that what Mum said?’

  ‘No, I read it in a book. A girl’s mother and father died, like in The Secret Garden except she didn’t live in India, it was a place called Inverness.’

  ‘Let’s go in here.’ Kristen steered him into a coffee shop. ‘Even if you’re not hungry you can have a drink.’

  As soon as they sat down, he noticed a mark on his new trousers and licked his finger, rubbing at it then swearing under his breath when the rubbing had no effect. ‘There was a girl at my old school whose mother and father got divorced. After that she only saw her father on Sundays and she couldn’t think of anything to say to him.’

  ‘Is that how you’re feeling now?’

  ‘No!’ He was shouting, ‘I can think of masses of things, only there won’t be enough time so what’s the good?’

  Kristen ordered coffee, cola, and a plate of cakes. ‘Tell me about all the places you’ve been to in London.’

  He began reeling off the names of the various museums and parks, first in a deliberately flat voice as if he was afraid she might think he had enjoyed himself, although when he reached the Science Museum his face lit up as he described the exhibits.

  ‘I wish you lived in London,’ he said at last. ‘Mum’s out a lot and I have to stay with Kimberly.’

  ‘Don’t you like her?’

  He shrugged. ‘She’s only seventeen. Mum pays her. Well, she wouldn’t do it for nothing, would she, except she’s always taking stuff from the fridge so I suppose she might come round to get food. If you lived in London I could see you and Mum. That would be fairer, wouldn’t it, don’t you think it would?’

  Kristen leaned across to give him a hug and he didn’t protest or pull away as he might have done a few months ago. ‘It’ll be all right,’ she said, ‘you’ll see. Now tell me about your new school. You’ve been to visit it, have you? Is it close to where you live?’

  He wasn’t listening. The plate of cakes arrived but he took no notice, keeping his head down. ‘Dad used to phone her,’ he said.

  Kristen felt a twinge of fear. ‘Phone your mum? Yes, of course he did, to arrange for you to visit.’

  ‘No, other times, nothing to do with me. Sometimes they went out to dinner.’

  ‘That’s what she told you?’ Her thoughts were rushing ahead, remembering the times William had gone up to London in connection with his work then phoned to explain how he had been unable to get everything sorted in a day so had decided to stay the night with a friend.

  The coffee shop was filling up. A woman with a double buggy struggled through the swing door, searched for somewhere to leave it, then gave up and struggled out again with one of the children shrieking its head off. Theo selected a chocolate éclair, turning it over, and returning it to the plate, wiping his fingers on a paper napkin.

  ‘I thought by now the police would have found the man who did it,’ he said. ‘Do you think there were things Dad didn’t tell us about? Do you think he’d done something bad? Mum and John keep whispering. I don’t think John ever met Dad but he knows all about him. He called him a selfish bastard. He said he had it coming.’

  The rest of the afternoon was spent searching for a present. Theo wanted a radio-controlled car but it had to be a particular kind. Kristen knew it would have been easier to give him the money and let him buy it in London but it became a point of honour that he take the presen
t back with him, and Theo seemed equally determined. Finally, after consulting with a group of teenage boys, they had located the right car in a small arcade away from the main shopping centre.

  Back in Bristol, she had suggested they to go to the park and try it out, but Theo had insisted it must be kept in its box to take back to London. Neither of them mentioned the fact that Kristen would miss seeing it in action, and when he climbed into John’s car at half past six his face was expressionless. As they started down the hill he turned his head and waved but didn’t smile. He had been pleased to see her but the small hope she had clung to – that he would deliberately “fail to thrive” as a way of forcing Ros to return him to Bristol – had faded. Like any child his age he had accepted the inevitable and had only complained about Ros because he thought that was what Kristen would want to hear. Once the car was out of sight he would cheer up immediately, give them a brief description of the trip to Cardiff, and push her out of his mind until Ros suggested he write a letter, or it was time for another visit.

  During the two hours since he left, Kristen had packed William’s clothes into bin bags, ready to take to the charity shop, and put the rest of his stuff in boxes under the bed. There were one or two things Theo might want one day – a Swiss army penknife, a chess set, a pair of binoculars – but not yet. Or was she thinking of herself rather than Theo? Did keeping some of William’s possessions make her feel she had more of a hold on him, on Theo? Quite soon she would have to start looking for somewhere cheaper to live. When they went to America she had left eighteen hundred pounds in her building society, money she had saved over the past year or so, something William had not known about. Why had she done it? Had she doubted all along that he would be able to settle in Ohio? Had William been so irresponsible that she had felt it necessary to provide herself with a small ‘insurance policy’?

  Someone was coming down the basement steps then a face appeared at the window. It was Cameron.

  ‘Don’t worry,’ he said, almost before she had pulled open the door, ‘I know you’re busy, just came to give you this, it’s a present from Vi.’

  Kristen took the unframed drawing of a rabbit in a hutch. ‘You’ve been back to her studio?’

  ‘To pack things up to take to London. By the way, I forgot to ask before, what’s the problem with that girl you’ve been teaching?’

  She had to think for a moment what he was talking about. ‘Oh, you mean Shannon. Neville gives her extra tuition, she’s exceptionally good at maths.’

  ‘So what’s a problem?’

  ‘No problem. She missed her bus so I gave her a lift home. She lives off Fishponds Road.’

  He looked at her as if he thought she was being evasive. ‘Anyway, I just thought I’d drop by with the drawing. If you like I could have it framed. No, don’t decide now, you’ve got Theo with you.’

  ‘He’s gone.’

  ‘Gone?’

  ‘They had to get back to London. His mother’s boyfriend drove them down. He has to see his children tomorrow morning.’

  Cameron looked over her shoulder into the empty flat. ‘How was he?’

  ‘Fine.’

  ‘But you’re feeling pissed off. Don’t blame you. Want to go out for a drink?’

  She shook her head. ‘Not just now.’

  ‘I had an idea for your thesis.’ And when she made no comment, ‘You know the trouble with you, you think you’ve a monopoly on…’

  ‘On what?’ But she was weakening, could do with some company. ‘If you’ve had an idea for my thesis I suppose you’d better come in.’

  He reacted with exaggerated surprise and she managed a weak smile. Then suddenly, without warning, she started to cry. Silent tears ran down her face and neck, and turned into choking sobs.

  ‘Oh God.’ Cameron followed her into the flat. ‘What can I say?’ He put his hands on her shoulders and pulled her towards him. ‘How long was Theo here for? What did you do?’

  ‘Drove to Cardiff, walked round the shops. He wanted a radio-controlled car.’

  He let her go. ‘You could have bought one here in Bristol.’

  ‘I know. Theo always enjoys crossing the bridge. What was your idea for my thesis?’

  ‘I forget. It’ll come to me in a minute. Something about the effect on the other kids in the family of having a gifted brother or sister. I knew someone once who was the only academic one in her family, and her two brothers gave her hell, and even her mother seemed to resent her.’

  I knew someone once. Why did she feel so certain he was talking about someone he still knew, someone who was important to him?

  ‘What’s Theo’s mother like?’ He sat down on the broken sofa. ‘Do you hate her?’

  ‘She’s tall, good-looking, worries about getting old. No, that’s something William once told me. Apparently she once threatened to commit suicide rather than reach forty.’

  ‘Sounds like a fucking moron.’

  The degree of venom in his voice surprised her. ‘I don’t suppose she meant it. Actresses are always terrified of losing their looks. She’s obsessed with keeping her metabolism in balance. Something like that.’

  ‘Sounds half-witted.’ He patted the space next to him but kept his eyes focussed on William’s print on the opposite wall. ‘Jugglers with poker faces. I like the little dog leaping up to catch the ball. That print and the one above the mantelpiece are worth a bit.’

  She joined him on the sofa and they sat together in silence, pretending to study the print.

  ‘I’d better go,’ he said but neither of them moved. ‘Oh, Kristen.’ His voice was so full of anguish she instinctively put out a hand to touch him, and he responded by drawing her close.

  Out in the street a car had drawn up. Doors slammed and the occupants started talking in loud voices, discussing who was going to pick someone up from a house in Bedminster. Cameron’s eyes were closed. He could have been asleep. She was sharply aware of what was going on, every sensation, every sound, the way her body, for the first time in months, had lost its tension but at the same time come back to life. She could smell his skin, his hair, then he murmured something she couldn’t hear and the two of them slid to the ground, speaking each other’s names. He fumbled in his pocket and she thought: you’ve come prepared, or more likely you’re always prepared, and she didn’t care because it didn’t matter, nothing mattered. She wasn’t drunk. Later, it would be no use pretending she had been. Silently, urgently, they moved against each other, too fast, but barely fast enough…

  When it was over she sat with her back against a chair.

  ‘Shit.’ Cameron hauled himself onto the sofa. ‘I’m sorry, that was a stupid thing to do. Now you’ll think I deliberately took advantage of the way you were feeling.’

  ‘Oh, for God’s sake.’ How dare he make out the decision had been his, and she had gone along with it because she was feeling so weak and sorry for herself.

  He stood up and smoothed back his hair. ‘No, don’t say anything. Not now.’ He paused and she thought he was going to apologise again but already his hand was reaching for the door. And a moment later she heard him running up the steps to the street.

  23

  The children had left and Kristen was alone in the classroom. She had been surprised when Brigid put her head round the door, and alarmed when she raised the subject of Shannon. Had Neville said something?

  ‘She’s a bit young by our standards,’ Brigid was saying, ‘but not these days. If it’s not boyfriend trouble, perhaps it’s a best friend who’s let her down. In any case, we’re not counsellors. I always think it’s best to stick to teaching.’

  ‘I’m sure you’re right.’

  ‘Good.’ Brigid gave her a reassuring smile. ‘By the way, bit short notice but can you come to dinner tonight – to meet the man Alex told you about?’

  ‘The academic who’s written a book on “genius”?’

  ‘That’s the one. Any time after half seven, earlier if you like although you might have
to watch Rebecca having her bath.’

  ‘Thanks.’

  ‘Good. Now tell me about your day with Theo. It was very unfair of Ros, telling you he could come for the weekend then not letting him stay the night. Still, she’ll probably feel bad about it and he’ll come down again in a week or two.’

  Kristen was thinking about the conversation Theo had overheard. Ros and John discussing his father, making derogatory remarks. Theo’s remark about William and Ros meeting each other in London. Brigid was being so sympathetic she was tempted to confide in her, but not now, not when Brigid would have to rush off home in time for Rebecca’s feed.

  After Brigid left, Kristen began tidying up the mess the children had left behind. Because there was only one more morning to go she had let them choose what they wanted to do, but it had led to an argument and in the end she had been obliged to find a different task for each child, creating more work for herself rather than less.

  Shannon had written a story set on a farm, the kind that no longer exists, with two cows, two sheep, and a pig. The story had nothing in particular to commend it and Kristen suspected she had deliberately made as little effort as possible. Certainly Theo could have done better, but then Shannon had an analytical brain. Theo’s was more imaginative.

  The previous evening, Ros had phoned to say how much Theo had enjoyed his trip to Cardiff. There was no need. All the call had achieved was to underline the fact that Ros was his mother and she, Kristen … Or was she being paranoid? Ros was only trying to be as co-operative as possible, although before she rang off she couldn’t resist mentioning Theo’s birthday in September and how John, who had a friend who made television documentaries, had arranged for Theo to go behind the scenes at London Zoo. Lucky Theo, Kristen said, and Ros had given one of her tinkly laughs. I know it’s a huge change for him, coming to live in Putney but we’re doing our best and he really seems to have taken to John, although I wouldn’t want him to get too attached if you know what I mean.

  While she was unlocking her car, Kristen paused for a moment, looking back at the building. It only took a few seconds and the man was by her side, a skinny, scruffy creature, sweating profusely.