And this time, I’ll be sure it’s for real.
“I know your name isn’t Brothers. We both have to hide who we really are,” I whisper, finding common ground. He nods and his fingers begin to relax on the knife. “It’s hard to be alone. No one understands.”
“But you do?” He takes one step toward me.
I inch back in the hopes that he’ll step with me away from the weapons. “You’re dangerous.”
“I can be.” His eyes shine back at me in the darkness.
The chair Sanda is sitting on shifts and makes a noise. Brothers whips his head around. Grabbing for his knife, my fingers only manage to knock it out of his hand. I pounce, but his guard is up again and he responds faster than I expect.
“You’re trying to fool me?” he roars, and steps back.
“No!” I scramble to one side, trying to get close enough to reach his throat. “I’m trying to kill you!”
He swings and I duck, kicking low, going for the groin. My leg isn’t as long as his arms and I connect with his thigh instead. He grunts, but it wasn’t the impact I’d been looking for. I step close, stomping on his foot and reaching up for his throat exactly like Cam taught me.
But he reacts too fast. The side of his hammer slams down on the top of my head and I fall to the floor like discarded trash. I can’t hear, can’t see, can’t think. Every sense is eclipsed as an explosion of pain drenches me in a vibrating wave of nothingness.
31
I force my eyes open, knowing I can’t black out, not now. In the dim light, I see hazy images of Brothers chasing Lily around a table across the room. Sanda has fallen from the chair, but her arms and legs are still bound and I hear her crying as she tries to roll away from the sound of their struggle. Lily is fast, but it’s clear this fight will be over quickly.
Adrenaline helps me turn over, and I manage to silence my groan when the ground tilts oddly to one side. My eyes settle on the only thing that might save us now—the gun from Angelo’s, still sitting on the ground where I placed it. It’s halfway across the room, but it’s something. I crawl toward it, keeping my eyes on Brothers’s back. Lily scurries one way and then another, keeping the table between herself and Brothers. She decides to make a run for it and dashes toward the table with the knives. She almost gets one in her hand when Brothers slams his arm into her back and sends her crashing across the floor and into the nearest wall. He grabs a long, lethal-looking knife from the table and spins toward Sanda.
I freeze, knowing I can’t keep moving without Brothers seeing me, but I can’t reach the gun yet either. It doesn’t matter. When Brothers takes his first step in Sanda’s direction, his eyes land squarely on me. The eagerness I’d seen before is gone; all that remains now is wild fury and a lust for blood.
With a dark chuckle, he stumbles toward me, but Lily staggers to her feet with tears and blood streaming down her cheeks. She grabs a knife with one trembling hand. I can see his thoughts stamped across his face. I’d attacked him with my bare hands while she ran. She is clearly weaker, less of a threat. When he dismisses her and turns on me, I hear her voice shatter the silence.
“No! Stop. I-I won’t let you hurt her,” Lily says, as she steps closer but doesn’t strike. Even from here, I can see she is terrified. Keeping me in sight, he shifts his feet until he can see us both. I watch him sizing her up: the shaking knife, trembling shoulders, blood- and dirt-streaked face—not exactly intimidating.
“You won’t let me?” He laughs, shakes his head, and turns away from her. “Don’t worry, little mouse. You’ll be next. First, I have to handle the snake.”
My eyes take in every detail in the room. Realizing I can’t get to the gun in time, I scoot to the right, hoping to get under the nearest table for a little protection. He’s almost made it to me when he slows. His eyes widen as he sputters and turns. I see Lily right behind him and her knife sticking out of the lower left side of his back.
“I s-said to stop.” She’s no longer crying, and she stands over him as he falls to his knees. I can see it in her eyes, the emotions fighting. Horror, fear, and triumph—I’ve felt them. I wish I could’ve saved her from this.
She’ll never be the same again.
As Brothers leans forward, the gun tucked in his waistband comes loose and falls to the floor in front of me. I see the muscles on his back flex and realize what he’s doing.
“Lily, run!” I shout. My voice echoes as time screeches to a halt. I grab the gun, point, and pull the trigger back so far I’m afraid I’ve done it wrong before it finally shoots, and I’m not prepared for the blast of sound or the way it jerks my forearm up. My ears ring so I know it went off, but he’s still moving, still going for her, so I raise my other hand to brace it and stare down at the center of Brothers’s back. My heartbeat is concussive against my eardrums. It is like someone replaced my heart with a block of dry ice, and with each beat, frigid smoke rolls through my veins. I squeeze the trigger twice more, this time prepared for the recoil, before he finally begins to fall. The air settles and a burnt metallic scent fills my nose. I’m struck by the mechanical distance of it, nothing like a knife going through flesh—I don’t even have any blood on me. When he hits the ground, I see I was too late. Once again, too late to save someone.
The knife is already buried to the hilt in Lily’s stomach. Her back hunches as she falls to the floor, and I’m by her side in an instant. I grab her hand in one of mine and use the other to reach into her pocket and grab her phone.
“It’s okay, Lily. I’m calling for help.” I can barely make out my own words through my still-ringing ears as I dial 911 with shaking fingers.
Lily reaches out and takes the phone before I can speak. “I was kidnapped and stabbed. I’m bleeding … s-so much. Please come help.”
I listen, helpless, as she gives them the address. She’s right. There is so much blood; hers and Brothers’s mingle on the floor between them. The image feels so wrong.
Trying to reassure myself, I do the only thing that seems right at the moment. I check for a pulse on Brothers’s still form—nothing. I can see all three bullet holes, but the first one only grazed his shoulder. The last two got the job done. I think about moving him. He doesn’t deserve to be near Lily, even in death.
Sanda whimpers, and the room only spins a little as I rush to her side. I can hear Lily talking to the 911 operator as I undo the ropes on Sanda’s hands and untie the blindfold. The moment I remove her gag, she throws both arms around me and sobs against my shirt. I’m careful not to touch any of her new cuts as I bring her over by Lily.
“He found us, Charlotte. We’re never safe. We’ve never been safe,” Sanda chokes out between sobs. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault,” I tell her. I want to make everyone stop hurting, but I can’t. No one has that kind of power. “He can’t come for you ever again. He’s dead.”
“It’s not enough,” Sanda mutters, and cries harder. I rub her cold arms and hold her tight, knowing there is nothing else I can do to make her feel better, not here.
Lily closes the phone even though I can still hear the operator talking.
“Please help me, Charlotte.” Her voice is frantic but weakening. “It won’t stop bleeding. Should we pull out the knife?” She closes her eyes and lays her head back against the cement.
“No.” I grab a scarf from her bag and place it around the knife and against the wound. She flinches, her skin pale. “Don’t touch it. It will bleed worse if you take it out now.”
“Charlotte?” Lily’s voice is softer, and we lean forward to hear her. “I was wrong about you. I’m so sorry.”
“No, Lily. You don’t have to be sorry, ever.” My eyes are wet as I stroke her hair.
“You’ll regret saying that someday.” Her voice holds a feeble hint of humor that gives me hope.
I grin. “I’ll hold you to that.”
I lift Sanda onto my lap. She lays her head against my chest and her crying eases a little.
“I will, and so will you.” I reach down to squeeze her hand. “You keep breathing. That’s all I want.”
She nods slowly, and then her eyes fly to Sanda and back to me. Her gasps grow more ragged with every word and she closes her eyes. “You need to get her out of here, police coming.”
“Stop, Lily. You hold on. No more talking now.” I shake my head.
“Wipe the gun off on your shirt and then p-put it in my hand.” Her voice shakes, but she’s adamant.
“What?”
“Hurry. Now.”
When I do as she asks, she fires two shots into the wooden table nearby. Sanda’s crying grows louder. Lily winces, drops the gun, and closes her eyes.
“What are you doing?” I ask. My question comes out more like a yell, my ears haven’t stopped ringing yet.
“Gun powder residue,” she whispers when I lean close to hear. “I just killed him. It should be on my hands.”
An icy shiver runs through my body and I shake my head. “No, Lily. I can’t let you do that.”
“Relax. Look around you. It’s clearly self-defense.” I take in the state of the room and realize she’s right. With her injury, the table of weapons, and the obvious struggle, it’s pretty clear what happened here. At least in a TV show it would be. I hope the shows get it right.
The sirens sound like they’re almost on top of us.
“You both have to run, now. Sanda is no safer with the police than you are.”
Her words snap me into action. Of course she’s right. I get to my feet and head for the hallway as we hear the sirens come to a stop just outside.
“Go through Cam’s tech room. There’s a back exit there. No one will see you.” Lily strains to get out the last few words and I can see the pain in her face.
“Thank you.” They are the only words I can come up with as I race out of the room with Sanda’s hand tucked safely in mine.
32
We go home to shower, bandage ourselves up, and change before we head to Penn Hospital. Neither of us speaks a word.
Janice knocks on my door, and when I open it her eyes widen so much I’m afraid they might fall out. I can’t even begin to answer the millions of concerned questions she throws at me.
“I’m sorry, but we’re alive, we’re exhausted, and we need to get to the hospital to check on Cam. Can we please come by and chat tomorrow?”
“Of course, but please let me know if I can do anything. Okay?” After I nod, she gives us each a hug and closes the door after casting me a sad glance on her way out.
Every few minutes, Sanda starts crying again. If I wasn’t so drained and empty of emotion, I’d do the same. I can’t find tears to match the pain that oozes from every piece of me. Judging from the throbbing headache and occasional moments of nausea, I’m fairly certain I have a concussion, but it’s a mild one and nothing compared to Cam’s and Lily’s injuries.
Everyone I care about was in danger today. Some still might not make it. Each person who dies takes a piece of me with them that I’ll never get back. With so much of me gone, how can I be anything more than a shell without them?
We walk through the hospital doors with Sanda’s hand in mine. I can’t be certain which of us is trembling harder. When we find the ER desk, I freeze up, terrified to step forward and ask the question I’ve been dodging for hours. Did Cam make it?
I jump when a crash sounds from a room down the hall, and then Cam’s voice yells, “What do you mean hospital policy? You can’t keep me here.”
His shouting voice is the best thing I’ve heard in a long time. A grin spreads on my face as my fears are replaced with a sense of peace. It’s as though someone took my city this morning and shook it up like the massive snow globes I saw in gas stations and souvenir shops on my way across the country. All day, I’ve been careening around inside, trying to make sense of the chaos. Just hearing Cam’s voice returns gravity to my world, sense to my city. Everything is going to be all right again. Sanda stares toward Cam’s doorway with wide eyes. Her tears have calmed now. Even if she seems afraid to speak, I’m proud of her for being so brave.
We walk to his room and I can hear the doctor speaking. “The best thing for you now is rest. Please lie down before we’re forced to sedate you.”
Cam is sitting on the edge of his bed and one of the nurses is holding a bag of clothes out of his reach. I see another nurse picking up a tray from the floor. That must’ve been the crash we heard.
He hasn’t noticed us yet, and I study his face. His skin is still pale, but nothing like earlier. A frantic craving to see the warmth in the green-brown swirls of his eyes again fills me. I have to see his familiar grin before I’ll believe I succeeded in saving him when I couldn’t save Sam. We step inside the room and everyone turns to face us.
One of the nurses looks like she’s about to say something to me, but when Cam waves at us, she closes her mouth and waits.
“Hey,” Cam says, but his eyes say so much more. A million emotions I’m feeling but would never know how to express reflect back at me through his eyes. He tries to stand up, but wobbles, and the nurse presses him back on the bed.
“Hey.” I step closer, still afraid that at any moment he could be stolen away again. I’m engulfed by a tidal wave of relief with each breath I see him take. He’ll be okay. He’s really going to be okay. A huge weight evaporates from my shoulders, and suddenly the tears come. I wipe my cheek with the back of my hand and smile. “I’m so glad you’re okay.”
Cam grins back and reaches out for my hand, wrapping his fingers around mine. They are warm again, and the warmth seeps up my arm and fills my chest with an unfamiliar heat. I’m suddenly ultra-aware of the three nurses and the doctor in the room watching us.
“Tell them you’re going to be good and get some rest now,” I whisper, and he nods, sliding back in his bed until he’s leaning against his pillow with his legs tucked under the blankets.
“I’ve understood the error of my ways.” His face might crack if he grins any wider, but I can see the exhaustion behind his eyes. “No sedatives necessary.”
The doctor and nurses give him a few wary glances and shuffle out of the room, closing the door behind them.
“Where were you going?” I squeeze his fingers. “Big plans this evening?”
“I was sure trying.” His eyes drop to Sanda and his relief is obvious. “She’s safe.”
“Yeah.” I nod, knowing the rest of the story can wait until later. “We’re both safe.”
Sanda walks over to the bed, kisses her hand, and then rests it gently on Cam’s bandaged arm.
“The first time is the worst,” she states simply.
“There won’t be any more times, Sanda.” Cam covers her hand with his and stares her straight in the eye. “Not for any of us. I promise.”
She looks doubtful but doesn’t argue. It will take time to adjust to such a strange and wonderful idea, for both of us. But with Cam here and safe, it’s hard to believe there is anything that’s impossible.
I grab two chairs and pull them over next to Cam’s bed. Sanda curls up in one and rests her head on my lap. In under a minute her eyes flutter closed.
“You look like you’ve been through hell.” His eyes scrutinize me even though he seems more tired by the second.
My laughter comes out light and airy. “You’re one to talk.”
“I’m so glad you’re here and that you’re okay.” His eyes shine wet, but no tears fall. “I was so worried.”
“You were worried?” The awe in my tone brings a smile to his face. “Are you kidding? Last time I saw you … last time I saw you…” My voice chokes up and I can’t finish.
He chuckles and it’s low and sweet to my ears. “I’m fine. You saved me.”
I’m shaking my head before he even finishes, but he places one finger against my lips until I stop.
Then he pleads, “This one time, don’t argue, please? I’d be—I wouldn’t have made it without you.”
He’s right, you know.
Maybe partly, but I couldn’t save you, Sam. The agonizing truth crawls from the pit deep inside me and brings with it that same raw pain.
Did you expect me to save you?
Of course not.
Good, because I couldn’t, and neither could you. But you saved Cam, Sanda, and Lily when you could. That’s what matters.
The gaping pit crumbles a little at the words, and shrinks even smaller as I watch the color returning to Cam’s cheeks. I may have gotten him into trouble, but I got him out of it, too. That minuscule slice of redemption is like a beam of sunlight coming from inside my chest.
“An ambulance brought Lily in. She had surgery and Jessie is with her now. There was some damage to her spine, but we won’t know how much for a while.” His eyes turn cold and hard as he glares at the wall across from him. “Was it Brothers?”
I give him a grim nod. “Yes. I told her not to come, but she wouldn’t listen.”
Cam rubs his fingers gently across the back of my hand, but I can’t miss the strain in his expression when he asks, “Did you get him?”
I nod. “He’s dead. The rest of the story can wait for later.”
He sighs heavily, lifts my hand to his lips, and kisses the back of it. “Later sounds good.”
“Do you think Lily will be okay?” My voice is soft, and I hear Sanda whimper in her sleep.
“She’s a fighter. I guess you saw that tonight.” He lifts his eyes to mine, and it hurts to see the sorrow there.
“More than you know.” My mind absorbs how truly messed up his life has become since I came into it, and I wish I could fix it all. “I’m so sorry, Cam. For everything.” The words are so insufficient to make up for the way I’ve broken everything he knows. They feel feeble in my mouth.
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