“So? Are you? Staying,” I insisted.
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“Does that mean you don’t want me here?”
I clenched my fists so hard the nails bit into my skin.
“That’s right. I don’t want you here!” I confirmed and he smiled, looking amused.
“Interesting. And I’m sorry to disappoint you. But I can’t stay anywhere else.”
“Why? Because ... of the Contract? Are you afraid I might run or something?” I tried to guess and he raised a thin eyebrow.
“Run? You couldn’t even if you tried. I’ll always find you,” he replied in his smooth tone and I couldn’t help shivering, the air around me growing colder. That was the voice of the monster, different from the voice he normally used with Rachel or with my friends at school.
“Then why?” I insisted once again and his smile became more intense.
“You really do want me out of here.” He acted like that was the funniest part, and I frowned, annoyed at the certainty that he was mocking me. “I can’t. Not now, anyway. Why?” He anticipated my question and I closed my mouth as he went on. “Because the Circle is here. Yes, the Circle you raised.”
“But ... it was destroyed,” I argued and he took a deep breath leaning backwards.
“Just because you can’t see it doesn’t mean it isn’t there,” he pointed out and I remembered that, in the beginning, others also hadn’t been able to see him, although he’d definitely been there tormenting me! “Any more questions?” he asked, looking at me sideways and I looked away.
“Yes, but you won’t answer them.”
“If it’s about the Contract, the only thing you need to know is what we both agreed upon,” he stated dryly and the harshness of his voice made me take a step back.
Everything was silent, for a moment, until I decided to take that chance — since I was still able to think clearly — to ask him some of the questions that had been tumbling around in my head for the last few days.
“Do you ... do you really need to eat?” I stammered and his black eyes opened wide as he stared at me in complete disbelief. Then his laughter filled the room, making me jump. Like before, it was a laugh I hadn’t heard him make and I couldn’t help noticing it was the first time I really heard him laugh. The sound was deep and rich, making my eardrums vibrate and all thought escaped my mind for an instant.
He looked at me, noticing that I remained serious and unmoving, and took a deep breath, running a hand over his face.
“All right,” he said, sounding as if he’d just conceded to some silent agreement, and rested his head on his hand once again, seeming to gather enough patience to give me a reply. “To tell you the truth, no.” My mind took its time to notice he’d just answered me. “But it’s something ... interesting to do,” he added and I asked myself what ‘interesting’ meant to him, since it was a word he seemed to use quite often. But, as usual, I still couldn’t ask it out loud, fearing his answer. Sure, I was happy with the small tolerance to his presence that I’d been able to develop. But I didn’t want to push it beyond my limited ability to deal with that sort of thing.
“And to sleep?”
“Not always. In other words, not as frequently as you need. But I’d have the say, yes, I do need to sleep,” he clarified with a cold smile. I breathed in and out a few times to focus my mind on what was important and ignore the fear that grew inside me like a dark wave I couldn’t control.
“My mother? My friends?” I muttered and he watched me for an instant, trying to decipher my question.
“Oh, nothing much. I just manipulated their memories a little bit,” he explained away so matter-of-factly it made me sick. “I’ll put everything as it were once our business is finished.”
I nodded. That much I’d already gathered and went on to my next question.
“And you, now? Illusions?”
“Me?” he inquired looking at his own hand as if it could hold the answer. “Ah, you mean to ask if the me you see right now is an illusion?” I nodded. “No. What you see is real.”
“But ... you’re... different.”
“I see.” He stood up, making me step backwards as fast as I could until I hit the doorframe. “It’s not an illusion. This just isn’t my true form.” He remained completely at ease and closed his eyes. And right before my perplexed gaze, his hair began to move, similar to a breeze rippling over it, and started to slowly grow, as if it had been tied and folded all that time. The shiny strands fell softly over his shoulders, sliding like dark water down his chest and back, and over his waist line. And, when he opened his eyes again, they weren’t black any longer, but crystal violet instead.
My legs shook uncontrollably and my knees buckled. Before I could understand what had happened, I was already on the floor, staring at him in pure terror, as he smiled softly, running a hand across his long hair.
“I better not bring out my wings. I’m not in the mood to rebuild your living room.” His look suggested it was the furniture’s fault for being of such poor quality, and I noticed I’d stopped breathing. He looked at me for a moment and seemed slightly annoyed. “Tsk. Had I known you’d be left in that deplorable state, I wouldn’t have shown you any of this,” he remarked like someone had just stolen his favorite toy, and sat back on the armchair, looking outside once again, as if those treetops had suddenly more interest than me.
For a while, after he went quiet, all I could hear was the crazed beating of my own heart. Then, as the raging thunder started to slow down, all that was left was my heavy breathing. I made myself count as I breathed in and out repeatedly, and gathered enough autonomy to look away from the nothingness I was staring into to look back at him.
He sat on the armchair completely unmoving, that perfect statue once again. His violet eyes had a slight glow about them, reflecting the light coming from the window, bringing life to that inhumanly beautiful face. This was the image I recalled from that horrific night. The hand in which he rested his head was the same that had almost choked me to death. But, even though his hair had grown longer and his eyes had changed color, he was still the same. The same creature I’d been able to talk to just until a moment ago. The same that had shaken hands with half the girls at school and had just kissed my mother’s cheek.
I frowned. Why should I be more afraid of him now? Just because of two insignificant changes? There were still things I wanted to ask him!
“Where ...?” I wanted to ask, but my lips moved silently without uttering a single word. I pressed them together and swallowed, and took a deep breath to try again. “Where ... did you come from?” I managed to whisper and his unmoving face was once again taken by surprise. Maybe he’d thought I wouldn’t be able to speak again, and that I would just sit there like a broken doll.
“Because you want to send me back?” he responded coldly and I couldn’t help shivering. In truth I wanted that more than anything. And who could blame me? However, that hadn’t been the reason behind my question.
“Um ...” I cleared my throat and tried to explain myself as best as I could. “The ... book,” I tried, making use of all my self-control, but the fear that he might get angry was like a rope tied around my neck.
He sat silent as before, trying to understand what I’d meant with my few mumbled words, and I thought I saw him frown.
“If you’re asking me if I came from the book, the answer is no. That book is just a bunch of paper like all the other books lying around,” he answered dryly.
“But what then?” I insisted, wondering if it was a good idea trying to pursue that matter.
“The spoken word has a great power. One that most of you foolish Humans ignore.” I tried as hard as I could to make sense of what he’d just told me.
“Are you saying that even without the book ...”
“In your case you can even say that that book saved your life. If not for that Protection Circle, you’d most likely be torn apart by the strength of the words, sin
ce you’re not even a Magic User,” he added with some despise.
I didn’t quite understand, except for the fact that the Circle that, until then, I’d thought completely useless, had actually saved my life.
I hesitated before voicing my next question. I dreaded him liking it even less, getting angry, maybe ending up destroying the living room after all or worse, the whole house. But not me. He couldn’t harm me, right? I repeated that same idea a few times in my head as if it were some Magic Spell.
“And die? Can you?”
He half closed his eyes until they were nothing but two thin slits and, if he had been angry, he managed to restrain it. Unlike the fierce blazing violence that emanated from him every time he was angry, the air around me seemed to grow colder.
“I can,” he answered in his deep voice and for a moment those words filled the room. “However, it’s not something that none of you Humans can hope to accomplish before I tear you to pieces.” This time it was a clear threat and I was sure I would have fallen down if I hadn’t already been on the floor. He stood up with a frightening fast movement that made my heart jump and start beating wildly, and I cowered against the doorframe. “And enough of this game. I’m going out.” Before I could say anything, he disappeared right in front of me, leaving in his place a soft rain of shiny dark dust.
When I returned to my senses, I dragged myself to the kitchen and put two frozen pizzas in the oven. I didn’t feel like cooking, a strange emptiness filling me inside, leaving my mind in blessed silence. I sat on a chair, arms on the table, and waited.
I’d learned a few important things, and as much about him as about myself. Above all I came to understand I’d never be able to get rid of him all on my own. He was not some spirit one might exorcise. He was flesh and blood, able of the most basic human activities, including dying. And yet, he was far from being Human. That last fact had become especially clear in my mind. Since the night I’d evoked him, he’d become my cousin Gabriel. And the ease with which he had mingled in with the Human world had almost diluted the truth. He was, nevertheless, the same from that night. The same creature with dark, long hair, violet eyes and wings of destruction.
At that moment I had only one last idea of how to find a solution to my problem — I’d have to go back to that store, hoping to meet that old woman again. With some luck she’d be able to tell me a bit more about the matter.
It was only after the pizzas were ready that I noticed I had made lunch for two.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Like at lunch, I had dinner all by myself, grateful for the silence and peace that, just a few days ago, would have left me kind of depressed. After tidying up the kitchen, I decided to choose which book I’d lend Michael next; a decision too important to be made lightly and without proper consideration.
I was sitting on the ground, surrounded by some of my favorite books, when the sound of small bell echoed in the room. I jumped, startled, reflexively trying to run away, and hit the bookshelf. My frightened gaze went through everything around me, as panic threatened to overcome me, until I finally found its origins. Sitting on my bed, watching me with huge silver eyes, was a small black cat. Around its neck was a thin, red-velvet ribbon from which a small golden bell hung.
I took a deep breath, trying to calm down, and released the tension that immediately had taken over my body.
“God, you scared me,” I confessed and smiled since he was still staring at me. “Where did you come from? I believe I closed the kitchen window,” I muttered, trying to think backwards. I remembered opening it in the morning. I kneeled on the floor and reached out, trying not to scare him. “Come here, little one,” I said, invitingly, and he tilted his head, moving his pointy ears. I smiled, noticing that he was listening and approached him slowly. “I won’t hurt you,” I reassured him, allowing him to smell my hand and, as he didn’t get scared, ran a hand over his black head. His fur was thin and soft, common among young cats, and I couldn’t help smiling when he closed his bright eyes, rubbing his muzzle against my hand. “Oh, you’re so cute!” I noted and held its golden bell, looking carefully for any mark, name or phone number that might tell me who his owner was. “I’m sure you have someone you belong to. Someone that is probably looking for you.”
The kitten jumped from the bed, nimbly landing on my legs, and rubbed its lean body against my belly, purring. I laughed as I understood his obvious request for some petting and picked him up, noticing how light and soft he was.
“Are you hungry?” I asked standing up and it cuddled his head between my arms, closing his eyes contented. “Let’s see what I can find downstairs.”
I happily went back to the kitchen as the small cat purred in my arms, but as soon as I reached the base of the stairs, another sound made me stop — footsteps!
He was back, I thought as my heart jumped into another crazy run and my smile faded away. Tension filled my muscles and, as if he had also felt it, the small cat stopped purring, watching me closely with his large silver eyes.
“Everything is fine,” I said with a smile, trying to reassure him, and walked over to the living room.
I stopped by the door and couldn’t help staring inside completely stunned. He was standing by the window, watching the night sky, black hair falling down his back over a garnet shirt. He looked at me with his disturbing violet gaze and fixed the small animal curled up in my arms with an intrigued expression. Reflexively, I held him even closer to my chest, as if that would be enough to protect him, and tried to divert his attention.
“What’s all this?” I asked, looking at the bags filling the room, scattered all over the place, and he faced me once again.
“Your new wardrobe,” he replied in his usual deep and complacent tone.
“My what?”
“Your new ward ...”
“I heard what you said!” I cut off, slightly raising my voice. I clearly felt anger gather inside me and allowed it to take over, knowing it was the only time I was able to tell him what I really thought.
He looked surprised, for a few seconds, but then seemed to lose all interest in our talk and, taking two bags off the armchair, sat down.
“I’m not wearing any of this!” I stated in my most authoritarian tone and he shrugged, indifferently.
“Then you can go out naked. It’ll be quite interesting,” he added with a light smile that only made me angrier.
“I have a wardrobe full of clothes.”
“Not anymore, you don’t.” I opened my mouth in disbelief, but it didn’t even occur to me to doubt him.
“What!”
“Did you not hear me?” he asked me, sarcastically, and I didn’t know what to answer. “It’s rather simple. If you want to seduce a man, be a woman,” he said as if stating the obvious, and I kept standing there, gaping, my ability to think clearly escaping me completely. “And now that that nuisance is gone, we can finally start working towards fulfilling this Contract.”
“Nuisance?” I repeated aghast. “My mother? Was that your ...?” He smiled, looking proud of himself, and took a deep breath.
“It was becoming tiresome, having to restrain myself for such long periods of time. Having to do it at school is quite enough,” he confessed. “Besides, now I’ll have more room to move. And, anyway, she obviously went happily, even if it meant leaving you behind.”
“How?” I asked, more to myself than really expecting an answer. I couldn’t help wonder if his powers had no limit!
“It really wasn’t all that hard. Your mother is, in fact, quite talented. All I had to do was place the right people at the right place. A small suggestion and everything was solved,” he explained with frightening simplicity.
I felt lost. He was manipulating everything and everyone around me. All because of that stupid Contract!
The small cat resting in my arms jumped to the ground, landing gracefully, and the sound of its small bell filled the room as it ran towards Gabriel. I wished I could stop it, afraid of wh
at he might do to him, but all I could do was reach out my hand, unable to take a single step to help him. With a nimble jump he landed on Gabriel’s lap, purring as he lay his head on his front paws, his thin tail curled around his small body. I froze in place when I saw Gabriel raise his pale hand over the little kitten, but he gently caressed his soft black fur. The kitten purred even louder and he smiled, leaving me breathless. I’d never seen him smile like that. Worse, I’d never even thought possible that he might be able to smile like that! And the absence of the choking feeling of panic and the sudden disappearance of the anger I normally felt towards him was even scarier. Not wanting to think about that any longer, I turned away and ran upstairs to the safety of my room.
I looked at the books scattered around the floor and knew that now I’d never be able to choose one to lend Michael. Refusing to open my wardrobe to verify his claims, I decided to go to bed and try to forget all about it, even if just for a few hours.
Chapter Five
DES
– The Slave-Gods superseded.
The Vision of the Stl of Revealing,
abolishing the Aeon of the Slave-Gods. 1 –
“I smile ironically before my own lie.
I look at the world around me searching for someone that will be able to see beyond my make-believe act.
But no one sees me... no one listens... no one feels me...
and so, in a mute scream, I fall in this dark precipice... and I go insane.”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * *
W
hen the alarm clock rang, just the thought of what awaited me outside made me wish I’d never have to wake up again.
I sighed, sitting up, and looked at the small black fur ball curled beside my pillow.
“Hey, how did you get here?” I asked, petting him between his ears, and the little kitten opened his silver eyes, stretching and yawning as he showed a perfect line of small sharp teeth. Purring soundly, he rubbed his muzzle against my hand and I couldn’t help smiling. “No time to play with you now,” I said, gently placing him on the floor, and stood up to open the curtains for another gray day.
Blood of the Pure (Gaea) Page 11