How to Flirt with a Naked Werewolf

by Молли Харпер

  “Aw, damn it, Mo.” He pushed through the trees at a slower pace. He seemed to have recovered his usual bland demeanor. “I wish I’d known. I wouldn’t have let you come. You shouldn’t see this. This shouldn’t be the way you remember Cooper.”

  “It might not be Cooper,” I insisted again, getting annoyed that Eli seemed hell-bent on the worst-case scenario. He took my elbow and assisted me a bit more gallantly during the last mile. We finally reached the edge of the trees, just in time to see the hunting party walking toward their trucks, slapping one another’s back in that “manly men together” manner. I heard several voices call, “Meet you at the Glacier. You’re buying!” Alan was the last to drive away after locking the barn up tight. He pocketed the key.

  Eli and I ran for the barn. Eli grabbed a rusty pipe wrench lying near the concrete pad and bashed the padlock off the door. I blinked into the dim light of the barn, assailed by dust and the faint smell of motor oil. Eli tossed the wrench onto a workbench. I squinted, my eyes adjusting enough to take in the blanket-covered form on the wooden trestle table. I stumbled toward it. Eli pulled back the blanket, and I cried out, wanting to shield my eyes but unable to look away.

  I covered my face with my hands, muttering something like “Thank you, thank you, thank you.” The fur was too light, the body too lean. It wasn’t Cooper.

  I was flooded with simultaneous waves of relief, confusion, and embarrassment at dragging Eli all this way. I wiped at my eyes, wondering again where Cooper was and whether he was OK.

  Eli stared down at the body, his pupils tight little pinpricks in eyes that were growing increasingly golden. His mouth was set in a grim, unhappy line.

  “Is it anyone you know?” I asked, instantly ashamed of my insensitive reaction. “Is it a werewolf?”

  “No, it’s just your normal, run-of-the-mill wolf,” Eli said, his voice flat and unaffected.

  “Eli?”

  “Sonofabitch!” he screamed, tossing the trestle table over. The wolf’s carcass fell to the ground with a soft thud.

  “Eli, what are you—”

  “If you want something done, you can’t trust anyone to do it for you!” he raged, his face flushing purple. “Do you have any idea how long it’s taken me to set this up? And these dumb fucking roughnecks kill a real wolf?”

  Eli’s eyes were now completely yellow, his cheekbones protruding sharply. He was starting to change, a shadow creeping over his skin instead of the light of transformation I was used to from Cooper. This was something primal and scary. And as I finally processed what Eli was saying, I realized I was in deep, deep shit.

  Eli drew back and slapped me with an increasingly pawlike hand, sending me flying across the room and into a tool chest.

  Jennifer Garner totally would have seen that coming.

  I sat up carefully, my hand curving protectively around my belly. “Why, Eli? Why are you doing this?”

  Eli rolled his neck, stretching his body in a long, lean line, willing the change to withdraw as he shrugged out of his clothes—which was, I will admit, disturbing. He was fully human again, his eyes a bitter chocolate color. He smirked. “Would you believe . . . I just enjoy screwing around with short-order cooks?”

  He sat down in front of me. My only comfort at this point was that the concrete had to be extremely rough on his bare ass cheeks.

  “Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for this?” he demanded. I tried to look away, because of the nudity issue, but he grabbed my jaw and forced me to keep eye contact. “I’ve worked for years to get where I am today. Cooper was weak. He was too worried about being fair and equal when what we needed was strength. I’m a leader, Mo. I was born to lead my pack. And they’re too damn stubborn, too stuck in the Dark Ages to realize it. Do you know what it’s like to know your potential and have no one else recognize it? Because of Cooper. As long as Cooper was around, I would only be the second best, the substitute.”

  Just over Eli’s shoulder, on the opposite wall, I spotted a tranquilizer gun. There was no way to make a direct grab for it. My only hope was that Eli would keep talking, allowing me to shift positions and get to it.

  “That rival pack was strong, though, as it turned out, not especially subtle,” he said, looking annoyed. “They bungled the whole thing, after I’d been sending them information for months! I mean, really, if you can’t trust the people you’re staging a coup with, who can you trust? That turned into a total fiasco, and I had to act just as surprised and shocked as everybody else.

  “But it did get rid of Cooper, which was the point. I stepped in. I comforted my people. I was the reluctant hero. I was a brother to that little pain in the ass Maggie. I fed her everything she wanted to hear about what a horrible person Cooper was, how I’d always be there for her, never abandon her like Cooper. God, it was so freaking tedious listening to her all the damn time! Her stupid, petty little teenage problems, on and on and on.”

  He sighed. “I thought, with him gone, I would finally receive the respect I deserve, but the pack just keeps waiting for him to come back. I’m strong enough to lead, Mo. I’ve shown that over and over again, but what do I get from them? Prayers for Cooper’s return. So, I had to come up with a more permanent means of getting rid of him. I tried to get Maggie riled up enough to take him out for me, but she turned out to be almost as sappy and sentimental as he is. The whole damn family is a waste of good genes. I thought I could get one of your neighbors to gun him down. So I may have created the impression that wolves were gobbling up the locals. I’ve always had more control in my wolf state, a better recall of my wolf memories, than Cooper, who has always been so damned whiny and conflicted about our nature.

  “Targeting a few humans wasn’t a problem. A hiker here, an old woman there. Hell, I followed you on your little camping trip, thinking maybe I could make a grab for you, but he never leaves your side, does he? Stumbling across that old man so close to you was just plain good luck. Your friend Abner put up a good fight for an old man, but he was only human, after all. You’re all so damned fragile. I was afraid Cooper might smell me that time, but he was so quick to blame himself. It didn’t matter what his instincts told him.”

  My lip trembled. I swiped at the tear that threatened to spill down my cheek. Eli had hurt Susie Q. He’d torn those poor hikers away from their campsite and scattered their bones like discarded toys. My head snapped up. He’d killed Abner.

  “You sonofabitch!” I snarled. Without thinking, I flew at him, my fingers curled into talons and aimed at his eyes. He caught me by my throat, holding me off the ground, my feet scraping against the dirt floor. Coughing and gasping, I clawed at his hands, finally managing to kick him in the gut. I don’t think it hurt him much, but it annoyed him enough to make him drop me on my ass. I kicked at his feet, hoping to trip him up. He growled and backhanded me, banging my head into a cabinet. The impact knocked the wrench off the utility bench and had bright red stars dancing behind my eyes.

  Note to self: Stop picking fights with werewolves. It couldn’t be good for the baby.

  I cupped my throbbing head in my hands. “Why not just attack Cooper directly?”

  “I can’t hurt the alpha myself. It’s a biological imperative.” He sneered. “Cooper’s never stopped Samson or Maggie from going after him, but I can’t touch him unless he attacks me first.

  “But I can make things extremely difficult for Cooper; there’s no rule against that. I didn’t count on your local game warden being such a damned bleeding-heart incompetent. Or your neighbors being such pitiful shots. Honestly, what does it take to get an effective angry wolf-hunting mob going in this town? I hoped maybe he would love you enough to want to protect you from the big bad monster that he is.” Eli rolled his eyes. “But he just can’t seem to stay away, can he? And now he’ll never leave you, especially now that you’re having his pup. You’ve forced my hand, Mo.”

  He grinned at me suddenly, his eyes glassy and bright. He trailed a finger along my cheek, swiping throu
gh a trail of blood streaming from my temple. He brought the blood to his lips and inhaled, as if he were enjoying the bouquet of old wine. “You know, it’s actually pretty nice to be able to talk to you about this. I mean, I’ve never told a soul. Cooper’s right, there’s something about you, Mo, something that just makes a wolf want to . . . mmmm.” He licked at his bloodied fingertips. I shrank back from him as he leaned closer and sniffed at my neck. “If you weren’t already knocked up, who knows? Maybe I’d take you for my own mate.” He smiled at me, showing long, white teeth. I stealthily curled my fingers around the fallen wrench.

  “Ah-ah-ah!” he exclaimed, slapping the wrench out of my hands, catching the tips of my fingers, and grinding them against the concrete floor.

  I hissed, pulling them close to my chest. “Asshole.”

  “Language, Mo, language. I thought you Southern girls were supposed to have better manners than to try to brain a family friend with a wrench.”

  “Obviously, you haven’t met many Southern women,” I retorted.

  Eli smirked. But I grabbed the wrench and brought it crashing down on the crown of his head. Eli howled with rage and punched me in the jaw. I staggered back, sure that my entire face would shatter. A coppery swell of my own blood pooled in my mouth. Between the smell and the taste, my stomach pitched into my throat, and I couldn’t hold it in. I leaned against Alan’s work table and vomited.

  Eli looked at me, distaste curling his lip. “You know, this might work out better than I’d hoped. Killing you is probably going to push Cooper right over the edge. He won’t want to live without you and the baby, after all.”

  Eli’s features stretched obscenely as the transformation began. His body shifted to all fours, blocking me from the exit. I clutched the wrench in front of me and prayed that it would be enough. Eli pulled his lips back, revealing his fangs, and lunged for me.

  I heard a howl from over my shoulder, the most beautiful music ever to reach my ears. Cooper barreled into the barn on all fours, shouldering Eli out of the way and crouching in front of me in a defensive stance. Maggie, speedy and savage, was hot on his heels, leaping onto Eli’s back and sinking her teeth into his neck. The sound of ripping flesh made my stomach flip-flop again. Eli shook violently, throwing Maggie off, sending her crashing into a wall. She yelped but struggled to her paws, taking a place at Cooper’s side.

  “Cooper. You have the worst timing,” Eli said, sighing, shifting back into human form as he rolled to his feet.

  Cooper phased to human while Maggie stayed a wolf. The fur on her back bristled as she stepped between Cooper and Eli.

  Cooper was a little calmer; pushing me behind him, he raised his hands in a gesture of surrender. “Don’t touch her, Eli. Your problem is with me, not her.”

  Eli snarled. “Oh, it’s one and the same. As long as you’re around, they won’t follow me. You had the lead position, and you just wasted it. Well, no one handed anything to me. I took it.”

  Eli smirked, circling dangerously close to me. Maggie followed him step for step. Cooper growled and feinted, angling him away. This rotation brought me closer to my goal, the tranq gun. With no one looking at me, I grabbed the gun, aimed at the back of Eli’s neck, and squeezed the trigger. Hiss-pop. Nothing.

  The damn canister was empty. I waved it like a club and smacked Eli over the head with it. Or I would have, if he hadn’t turned on me and phased on the fly, lunging at me. Cooper snarled, phasing mid-leap as he jumped between me and Eli.

  “Damn it,” I grumbled as Maggie butt-checked me into a safe corner.

  She stood there, fur on end, fangs exposed, watching as the two other wolves circled. Eli and Cooper scanned each other, alert for openings, weaknesses. Losing patience, Cooper snarled and charged. Eli lunged for Cooper’s leg. Cooper dodged out of the way, turning to claw at Eli’s back. Eli snapped, catching Cooper’s left rear haunch and dragging him across the floor. Cooper yowled, jerked out of Eli’s grasp, and butted his head into Eli’s stomach.

  Cooper was shoving him farther and farther out of the barn, away from me. He fought with deadly concentration, until Eli made a move toward me or Maggie. Eli picked up on that, used it to distract and disorient Cooper. Maggie apparently didn’t like being used this way. Huffing impatiently, she leaped over Cooper’s back and pounced on Eli, digging teeth and claws into places Eli would definitely feel later. He yowled, reached over his shoulder, and clamped his jaws over the back of her neck, throwing her off. Cooper barked, a warning to his little sister to back off, but Maggie just kept rushing Eli until he threw all of his weight on her. Eli looked up at Cooper, speculation evident in his golden animal eyes, and lunged at Maggie’s pinned form. Cooper crouched low and sprang, knocking Eli away from his sister and forcing him to the ground. Cooper’s jaws closed over Eli’s neck, ripping into the flesh viciously.

  Eli’s last whine was cut short, and a large red pool spread onto the grass. Seeing that the struggle was over, Cooper detached and circled, putting himself between me and the dying creature. Maggie whimpered and ducked her head into Cooper’s side. Cooper licked the top of her head.

  As Eli wheezed his last breath, Cooper sank to the ground, resting his chin on his paws. With a deep breath, he phased back to his human form, blood spattered across his face and neck. Maggie followed, rising unsteadily to her feet and offering me an awkward little wave.

  Cooper stumbled toward me. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pressed his face against my stomach. I stroked his back and murmured, “I know this is a bad time for ‘I told you so’ . . .”

  “Yeah, yeah,” he grumbled. “You were right. I wasn’t homicidal. I was wrong.”

  “Let us hope that all of our arguments end this way,” I said, rubbing soothing hands down his still-tense muscles.

  Maggie snickered, cradling her arm to keep the weight off her injured shoulder. Still, I could see the bite mark fading. Her skin was reknitting itself before my eyes.

  “I’m glad to see you,” I told her. I took off my jacket and wrapped it around her shoulders.

  “Never thought you’d say that, huh?” she asked, grinning cheekily.

  I shook my head. “No.”

  “Maggie tracked my hunting party down. And after she made it clear that she wasn’t planning on doing me any long-term damage, we had a long—”

  “Incredibly long,” Maggie muttered.

  “—talk,” Cooper finished dryly. “And we straightened some things out.”

  Maggie said, “I wanted to believe the worst about Cooper, because it was a lot easier than seeing how I might have hurt him. And Eli saw it, fed right into it. I let Eli blow so much smoke up my skirt I’m surprised I don’t have ass cancer.”

  “Eloquent.” I snorted.

  “And I didn’t exactly man up and stick around to explain myself,” Cooper admitted. “I used Maggie as an excuse to stay away.”

  “And you didn’t answer your phone during this long heart-to-heart. Why?” I asked.

  Cooper winced. “I left my cell phone at the camp. I didn’t get any of your calls.”

  “We started putting the pieces together, all the times Eli played me like a cheap violin,” Maggie said, blushing slightly. “And we wondered why. If he was as reluctant to lead as he said he was, why was he finding ways to keep Cooper away? We started talking about you, Pops’s heart attack, the attacks in Grundy, and it all just started clicking. Eli taking little trips into Dearly, the timing of the attacks—it all matched up. Cooper went back to the camp to let his clients know he was leaving. And he heard your messages. When Cooper realized you were here alone with Eli, he just about lost it. It’s the first time he’s ever outrun me.”

  “I’m glad you finally beat her at something,” I told him.

  Maggie sighed dramatically. “He’s going to be impossible from now on, you watch.”

  “What do we do about this?” I asked, nodding toward the prone gray form. “How do we explain?”

  “He’ll stay in his wolf ski
n,” Cooper said. “I’ll take him back to the pack, tell them what he’s done. They’ll give him a proper burial. I’ll be as kind as possible. They don’t need to know every detail, just what he tried to do to you, to the baby. For that alone, I had a right to kill him.”

  “What about his family?” I asked.

  “Eli’s sort of the last of his line,” Maggie said. “His dad died when we were in high school. He takes care of his mom, our Aunt Billie. She’s been really sick lately. Alzheimer’s. The pack will take over for him there. We take care of our own.”

  “No regrets,” I told Cooper when I found him staring at the ground. “No torturing yourself. No guilt.”

  “None,” he agreed, wrapping his arms around me. “I guess I’m going to have to marry you now,” he muttered, his chin tucked over my shoulder.

  “My parents aren’t even married,” I scoffed.

  His warm hand closed over mine, skimming it over the belly that would be full and round in just a few weeks. He sighed, snuffling at my neck. “Please marry me, Mo. Raise our baby with me.”

  I leaned into him, nuzzling his neck. “I have one condition.”

  He sighed again, much more content this time. “Shoot.”

  “We pick a normal, traditional name for this kid. The baby is going to have enough to deal with, what with the whole half-werewolf deal. So, no flower names, no tree names, no gemstones, no names of musicians who asphyxiated on their own vomit, no intellectual ideals as middle names—”

  “How about Noah for a boy and Eva for a girl?” he suggested, his hands up in a surrendering gesture.

  “I agree,” I said, thinking of how happy Evie would be.

  “What, we’re not naming the baby after a favorite aunt?” Maggie demanded testily. When I arched a brow at her, she rolled her eyes. “All right, too soon. You could at least put me in the running for the middle name.”

  “We are not naming my son Noah Margaret,” Cooper told her.