by Leila James
Chapter 23
Scarlett
I’m so relieved they aren’t keeping Xander overnight that I can hardly see straight. With a wave to Beau and Micah, who’d just dropped me off at Uncle David’s garage to pick up my truck, I fire up the engine. Works fine. I shrug.
I jet home as quickly as Ruth will take me. I’m still wearing my clothes from my run earlier this afternoon—which seems like a lifetime ago at this point—and I’m pretty sure I stink. Luckily, either everyone at the hospital was too upset or worried to notice or too kind to say anything. I’d talked to Xander’s mom for quite some time while we waited for the MRI results to come back, and then Beau, Micah, and freaking Aria while they were waiting their turn to visit. It’s safe to say we’d all been pretty preoccupied.
Mild concussion. That was the verdict from Xander’s doctor. We can deal with that. I’d been so nervous when I learned he’d been unconscious, and then even more so when they’d put the neck brace on him. I’d decided in that very moment that nothing else mattered as long as he was okay.
I hurry upstairs and ditch my running gear at lightning speed. The second I step into the shower and feel the hot water beating down on my tense muscles, I let out a ragged sigh. I feel like I’ve been on edge for so many hours that my entire body is locked up and tight. After squirting some shampoo into my hands, I give my scalp a thorough massage and think about what I need to pack. I’d been utterly shocked when Xander’s mother suggested I come stay at their house tonight. Her explanation was that she wanted help dealing with her son, who is known for being a terrible patient, but she absolutely noticed the panic in my eyes when I mentioned going home. The deal had been sealed when she found out my aunt and uncle are out of town this week.
I finish up in the shower, dress, and start throwing things haphazardly into an overnight bag. It’s not like I need to think much—I need something to sleep in and one of my school uniforms. About halfway through the packing madness, my phone lights up with a text notification.
Max: What happened to Xander?
Daphne: The whole school is buzzing about it.
Daphne: Something about an accident at practice?
I feel badly that I hadn’t thought to text them sooner.
Me: Yep. Concussed on the football field.
Daphne: I know at lunch today you said you guys were not in a great place. We were a little worried.
Daphne: BTW, your life is insane right now.
Me: Don’t I know it.
Max: We wondered if you’d gone to see him.
Max: And if he was okay. Obviously.
Me: I did. Guys, he asked for me as soon as he regained consciousness.
Me: I was so scared.
Me: And I’ve decided something. Please don’t think I’m dumb.
Daphne: We’d never. Spill.
Me: He keeps saying that he’s trying to protect me.
Max: I don’t doubt that for a second, Cupcake.
Max: The question is why does he feel he has to?
Me: I don’t know. But I’m not going to worry about it anymore.
Daphne: Are you sure?
I take a deep breath. Yes. I’m sure.
Me: I told him I was.
Me: In other news: I’m staying at Xander’s tonight.
Max: Is Sebastian home?
Me: I don’t think so. He wasn’t at the hospital.
Daphne: Eeps. What if he comes home like he did last time?
Me: Well, I guess I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it.
I’ll be looking at him through new eyes, that’s for sure. I keep trying to imagine what my mom and Sebastian would have looked like together at seventeen, but there don’t seem to be any photos.
Me: I want to look into his face knowing that he’s my dad. I wish we’d found photos of the two of them.
Max: So crazy that Aria thought to look at the photos in the yearbook, too.
Max: And her aunt hiding that letter … OMG.
Max: Those two are like peas in a pod, if you ask me.
Daphne: Don’t let me forget to tell Aria she needs to bring that yearbook back to the library.
Daphne: (But that’s neither here nor there. Sorry.)
Me: LOL No worries. I’ll pass the request along to her.
I pocket my phone and head downstairs with my overnight bag and backpack, careful to check the lock on the back door before leaving now that I know my aunt and uncle aren’t especially diligent about it.
Chapter 24
Scarlett
When I pull up at Xander’s family’s home, I get a case of nerves and have to sit there for a minute or so to talk myself down. This is no big deal. You like his mother and sister. You love Xander.
Oh, shit. When did that happen? I close my eyes and count to ten. They flick back open to find a gray-haired woman standing patiently on the front steps watching me. Waiting for me? I peer at her through the windshield and wave.
She smiles and waves back.
Crap. Now I have to get out or I’ll look like a big weirdo. Gathering my things, I open the door and step down out of Ruth and slam the door shut with a giant creak. I walk quickly up the paved path to the house. The last time I was here, Xander led me in through the side door, directly into the mudroom and kitchen area, but I guess I’m about to get the full effect of Xander’s mansion-like home by going in through the front door.
I huff out a breath. “Hi. I’m Scarlett.” I hold out my hand as I approach the older woman.
“I know who you are.” She gives me a tentative smile and shakes my hand. I get the sense she wants to say more, but she doesn’t, instead introducing herself. “I’m June.”
“Oh! Right. I can’t seem to get it through my head that people live in homes like this.” Peering through the doorway at the foyer, complete with a grand staircase off to the side, I get a real appreciation for how beautiful their home is before my gaze swings back to her. “You’re responsible for the delicious snacks I had the last time I was here.”
“That’s me. Come on in, honey. Xander’s been waiting for you.” She turns and waves over her shoulder that I should follow.
Impressive. No. That’s not a good word for it. Grandiose? Maybe a little. The house is freaking amazing. I don’t know how anyone lives in it, though. It’s massive. A showpiece.
“Why don’t I get you something to drink first?” She cocks her head to the side, eyes scanning the features of my face.
“Oh. Sure, that’d be nice.”
As she leads me down a hallway, she looks over her shoulder at me. “Isabella is upstairs with Xander. She’s trying to convince him that he needs some brain rest.” We walk into the kitchen, where she seems most at home. She grabs bottled waters from the huge refrigerator, and we each sit on a stool at the island. She winces. “I heard you were there this afternoon. At the field?”
I nod, brushing a few rogue strands of hair back behind my ear, my bracelet tinkling as I move. “I was. It was really scary. I didn’t see it happen, but I was there right after.”
“I bet it was terrifying. I’m glad I wasn’t there. I would have had a heart attack, and then they would’ve had to call two ambulances.” She shakes her head, then juts her chin in the direction of my charm bracelet. “That’s awfully pretty,” she murmurs.
“Oh.” I hesitate for a fraction of a second, looking down at it. “Thank you. My mother gave it to me last Christmas, a few months before she passed away. I’ve worn it pretty much every day since.”
“Oh, honey, that’s special. I’m sorry about your mama.”
“Thank you.” I look around the kitchen, trying to think of something else to talk about. “Xander told me you’ve worked here a long time.”
“Right. Since before Xander and Isabella were in the picture, actually. The minute Sebastian had his own home, I started taking care of him again. Stole me right out from under his parents’ noses.” She chuckles, shaking her head. “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for Seba
stian.” She clears her throat. “Anyway, I’ve known Xander since he was twelve or so, and I don’t know what I’d have done if I’d seen him hurt like that.” She presses her lips together before brightening a little. “But he’ll be okay. We’ll make sure of it, won’t we?”
I smile and nod.
She keeps eyeing me. Studying me. It’s more than curiosity. It’s knowledge shining in her eyes. I’m sure of it.
It hits me all at once, and my eyes flare wide. Quietly, I ask, “You know, don’t you?”
She nods as she worries her lip with her teeth. “Since the second I laid eyes on you.”
“He’s keeping this huge secret from his wife … and you went along with it?” My heart pounds.
Slowly, she nods confirmation. “I said I’d do anything for him. I meant it. I’ve never told anyone.”
Isabella chooses that moment to breeze into the kitchen, gorgeous even though she’d spent hours with Xander at the hospital, same as I had. In contrast, I feel like I’ve been run over by a herd of stampeding elephants. “Oh, Scarlett, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you’d already arrived. I’d have come down sooner. Xander finally agreed he needs to sleep, so he’s turned in.”
I have so many questions to ask June, but it’ll have to wait for a more appropriate—and more private—time. She gives me an anxious look, and I wonder if she thinks I would blurt out the truth to Isabella.
“No problem, Mrs. Coventry. I’ll go up and see him for a minute, if that’s okay. I was just thanking June for the snacks she made the last time I was here.” I wink in her direction, hoping that serves to pacify her.
“Call me Isabella, please, and go on up.” She grits her teeth apologetically. “Just no hanky-panky. He needs rest.”
I can’t help it. I start to giggle as soon as she says hanky-panky, and my face flushes pink. I cover my mouth with my hand to stop myself.
Isabella laughs along with me. “That’s kind of an old-fashioned word—hanky-panky. It’s all that came to mind, and I didn’t know how to put it any more delicately.”
“I’m so sorry. It struck me as funny. I will absolutely be on my best behavior. No hanky-panky.” I bite my lip. “If I promise there will be none of that, is it terrible for me to ask if it’s okay that I stay in his room with him? I don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable, but after seeing him like that today …” Unexpectedly, tears spring to my eyes, unbidden. Shocked by my own reaction, my mouth opens and closes, and all of a sudden, Isabella has taken me into her arms.
“Oh, sweetie. He’s fine. He’s going to be okay. I asked you to come stay here tonight as much for you as I did for him. Maybe more for you.”
I burst into tears. I’ve tried to be strong all day for Xander, and the minute his mother’s arms encircle me, and she whispers those comforting words, I lose it. I shudder and shake in her arms.
“I-I’m so sorry. I guess it’s all catching up to me. I’m so embarrassed. And I— You—”
“Don’t apologize. Shh.” She glances over at June. “Could you put on some tea for her? Maybe some chamomile?”
My words stutter out. “You-you’re his mother, and I guess it hit me that if my mother were still alive, I probably would have lost it a lot sooner than this because she’d have been there to comfort me. I didn’t used to always have to be so strong.” I glance over at June, and she’s looking at me with wet eyes. What a convoluted mess.
When I finally calm, Isabella ushers me into a seat at the table, and June slides a mug of tea in front of me. They both sit with me, and from the way they watch me, I’d say they’re assessing my mental stability. If this isn’t awkward, I don’t know what is.
“I’m really fine.” I sip at the tea, finding comfort in its warmth.
June clicks her tongue. “Yes. And plenty strong. But even the strongest of us break sometimes.”
“If you ever want to talk, honey, we’re here.” Isabella pats my hand with a soft smile. “You know what? I know you want to get upstairs to see Xander. I imagine it will reassure you.”
“I think you’re right.” I just want to forget today ever happened.
Chapter 25
Scarlett
A few minutes later, after thanking Isabella and June for being so kind to me, I take my bags upstairs with me and quietly let myself into Xander’s room. He’s one hundred percent passed out on the bed, deep in sleep. He doesn’t awaken when I slide my hand over his forehead or when I bend down to press a kiss to his cheek. I glance around the room, remembering the last time I was here. At first, I’d felt so loved, so connected to Xander, but then … everything had gone wrong. I sure as hell hope we’re past that.
Moving quietly, I get my toiletry bag and my pajamas out of my overnight duffel and head for his bathroom. I change as quickly as I can, pulling on an oversize T-shirt and boxer shorts, then stop when I see my reflection in the mirror. Deep breaths. Tear tracks are still visible on my cheeks. I can’t believe I lost it like that in front of Isabella and June. Actually, I can—I just hadn’t wanted to. Definitely hadn’t intended to. Not that anyone really intends to have a full-on freak out in front of their boyfriend’s mother.
Wait. Where’d that come from? Is he my boyfriend? We haven’t used those terms for each other before. We’ve never broached the subject, mostly because of the on-again, off-again, push-and-pull nature of our relationship.
I splash some water over my face and hurriedly brush my teeth before returning to Xander. Trying not to disturb him, I peel back the covers on the unoccupied side of the bed and slide in next to him, curling up close to his heat. I shut my eyes and try to at least rest. I’m not sure if sleep will find me tonight or not.
“No! No, Dad! I won’t! No!”
I’m jerked out of a sound sleep by Xander’s soul-wrenching shouts as he thrashes around in the bed. I immediately recognize it for what it is. He’s in the throes of a nightmare—something so awful, wretched screams tear from his throat, full of pain, over and over again. He sounds broken.
“Xander,” I gently whisper, scooting up in the bed and trying to pat his shoulder. “Xander, you’re having a nightmare. Wake up.”
He bellows, “Noo! Don’t touch her! You’re hurting her! Stop!” His arms flail as his body twists and jerks, caught up in the sheets. His elbow grazes my cheekbone before I can get out of the way.
My hand flies to my face, covering it with a wince. Within a split second, I’m in motion, determined to help him.
Most people would probably have jumped back, given the person some space. Not me. I launch myself forward across Xander’s chest, tucking my face against his neck. I wrap my arms around his torso and hold him tightly. My breaths are exaggerated and slow, in hopes that his body will catch on and breathe with me. “I won’t let anyone hurt you, Xander. It’s okay. You’re okay,” I whisper raggedly against his warm skin.
Eventually, his breathing slows, and his strong arms encircle my waist. “Scarlett?” He sounds confused, and it breaks my heart. This whole episode has shattered it to pieces.
I nod, glad he’s at least awake and away from whatever was hurting him. “Yes. It’s me. You were having a nightmare. Do you want me to turn on the light?”
His body tenses before he exhales roughly. “Maybe for a few minutes. Just until I get my bearings.”
He loosens his hold on me as I push up to plant a soft kiss to his bare chest. I crawl to the edge of the bed and flip the lamp’s switch, illuminating the room with a soft glow.
When I turn back to him, my intention is to climb right back on top of him to comfort him, but he bolts upright, reaching for my face. “What happened to your cheek?” As soon as the words are out of his mouth, he sucks in some air and closes his eyes, pulling his hand back. “I did that. Didn’t I?”
I rake my teeth over my lower lip, not sure what purpose it would serve to lie. “It was an accident.”
“Fuck. I’m sorry.” His eyes look so wounded and full of shame, it tears me up inside. He runs his han
ds through his hair, tugging at it.
“I’ll be fine.” I try to keep my voice soothing and worry free. It’s not like I’ve forgotten why he was thrashing around. “Does that happen a lot?”
He sighs heavily. “Sometimes. It happens more if I’m stressed out. It’s been happening a lot lately.”
I look down at where I’ve folded my hands in my lap. “Maybe I should go.”
“No.” His voice is hoarse. “Please stay. Just, um. Give me a second.” He slips out of the bed and heads for the bathroom. I notice he’s got on a different style of boxer briefs than he usually wears. These are short, the legs barely extending below his muscular ass cheeks and—I suck in my breath—oh my God. The light hits the backs of his legs just the right way. Distress at what I see makes a sick knot in my stomach. Thin, translucent lines crisscross his upper thighs—too many to count—and there are a few jagged spots, too. I hadn’t noticed the scars before, and it makes my chest clench and my heart throb and bleed for him. My hands shake as they move to clutch at either side of my head, holding it as I try to process how this could have happened to him.
In my mind, I play back the day he’d told me about his father being abusive and how he’d learned to protect those he loves because of it. I hadn’t ever dreamed he’d meant to this extent. If he bears scars, that means whatever had been used on him broke the skin. His father is a repulsive, vicious torturer.