by Leila James
Vomit rises at the back of my throat as I imagine a young Xander being beaten with something that would scar him like that. Tears well, and I close my eyes, trying to force them back as I hear the toilet flush and the water run.
Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God … My heart beats wildly, my head pounding with the newfound knowledge.
I try as best I can to wipe the horror from my face when he comes back to bed.
“What’s wrong?” He sits on the edge of the bed, cupping my face and sweeping his thumb over my tender cheekbone. “I could get you some ice.”
I shake my head. “I’ll get some later if I need it.” I clear my throat and look into his eyes. “I-I saw your scars.” My gaze drops to the bed sheets between us. “How old— How old were you when he did that to you?”
“The first time?”
My eyes widen. Not just once. I nod anyway, needing to know.
“Five. I think I was five.”
I inhale sharply, so painfully sad for that little boy. I whisper, “And when did it stop?”
“The day Mom and I moved out when she left him. So, I was around ten.”
“Was it always that bad? That it left marks?”
He nods, peering at me from the side of his eye. “It was worse if I cried, so I learned not to.”
“Oh God, Xander.” My breath stutters, the mental image almost too much for me to handle. I’m unable to stop the jerking motions of my chest as I try to keep myself from crying for him. For that innocent child living in a big, expensive house, who supposedly had it all—but all he knew was fear and pain doled out from one of the people who was supposed to love him most. I ache for that little boy. I ache for the man in front of me. But I’m so touched to know who he really is—that he’s sharing this part of himself with me. I edge toward him, then finally kneel and wrap my arms around his neck.
My lips find his neck, his jaw, and finally, his masculine lips. I kiss him softly until his arms curl around me in return, hauling me fully against him before he lies back on the bed. He groans as he takes my head between his palms, tilting my head just so, his tongue delving inside my mouth. It tangles with mine, and with every stroke, he kisses me more deeply, like he can’t get enough.
His voice is gravel and grit when he whispers, “Do you remember what you said to me the other night? Make me forget, Scarlett. Help me.”
Our bodies strain toward each other, and the hard ridge of his erection presses into my belly. I straddle him and slowly rock back and forth as we continue to kiss. Passion rises like a tsunami, threatening to crash down over us. And instead of running in the other direction, we run toward it. He lifts his ass off the mattress to shove down his boxers while I shimmy out of my panties and pajama shorts, all while our mouths are still fused together. We’re both panting when I take his erection in my hand and guide him to my sex, sinking down onto his cock without a second thought.
We hesitate at the sensation of skin meeting skin. It feels beautiful and oh-so right.
“Scarlett,” he rasps, sliding his rough hands around to cup my ass cheeks. He squeezes, kneading at my skin. “Are you sure you want to do this?”
I sit up long enough to whip my T-shirt over my head before I lie back down on his chest. “I need to.” I need the closeness, need for every inch of me to touch every inch of him.
Together we begin to move, slow and sweet and hot. His hands run over my body, setting me on fire until I have no choice but to speed up, to chase the release we both need. The feeling of him bare inside of me is like nothing I’ve ever felt before, and I can’t get enough of how good it is each time he slides in and out of my body.
“Fuck. Scarlett. You’re amazing, baby. You’re so tight and wet.”
I smile, feeling his heart beating frantically against my chest, and I wind my fingers into the hair at the back of his head.
My mouth slants over his as I ride his cock, showing him everything I can’t say, loving every nip of his lips and the heat between us. We’re both sweating, sliding against each other, and I can’t think of anything better.
My emotional state is fragile at best, so when he rolls us over and stares down into my eyes with such blatant adoration, tears trickle from the corners. He kisses every single one away. When he covers my mouth with his, I taste my tears on his lips and a dam bursts somewhere inside of me, setting me off. My body pulses around his, squeezing his cock rhythmically, all while lights flicker behind my eyelids. His name falls from my lips in a shuddering moan as he continues to rock into me.
Xander groans in pleasure as he strokes into me a few times more and then he lets go.
He touches his fingers to my face, tracing where a few tears found their way into my hair. His dark eyes connect with mine. “I’m falling for you, Scarlett.” He drags his lips over my cheek and then back to my mouth. “I’m falling so hard.”
I inhale steadily, unable to hold back what I know he needs to hear. “Me too, Xander.”
“You are?”
I nod, my eyes going wet again. “You scared me so badly today.” He starts to say something, but I put my finger on his lips to stall him. “I knew what I was feeling for you was different than anything I’d ever experienced before—a deeper connection. I wasn’t sure how to tell you. And everything had gotten a little messed up. Again.” I swallow. “Thank you for telling me about what happened to you.” My lips tremble. “I know that was hard for you.”
He eases out of my body and rolls to the side, pulling me with him. “No one but my mom knows it was that bad. Aria knows what he did to me, but I’ve never let her see it.”
“Beau and Micah?”
“They don’t know much—just that he was abusive to me and my mom. I didn’t tell them about it until Mom had already divorced him. I don’t know if they’ve ever noticed like when we’re in the locker room or whatever, but most dudes don’t make it a practice of staring at each other. If they’ve seen the scars, they’ve never said anything.”
I press a kiss to his chest, realizing I totally went back on my word to his mom. My nose wrinkling, I duck my head a little. “Yeah, so I wasn’t supposed to let any hanky-panky happen up here. How’s your head?” My brow furrows in concern.
Xander barks out a laugh. “Lemme guess—Mom?” When I nod, he grins. “Sounds like her. Don’t worry about it. It’s not like they can tell. And my head’s okay, pounding a bit. You, here with me? That’s the best medicine right now.” He slides his hand over the curve of my hip. “I know you said you were okay with what we just did, without—”
“I’m on birth control. Do you think I wouldn’t be after what happened to my mom? She took me to the doctor herself the minute I hinted at interest in a boy.”
“Oh.” He nods, running the pad of his thumb over his lower lip. “Yeah, that kind of makes sense, I guess.”
I come up on my elbow so I can kiss him again. “Speaking of, I’m going to clean up a bit. I’ll be right back.”
I scoot out of the bed, grabbing my pajamas along the way, and walk quickly to the bathroom. Just as I’m about there, I hear Xander roll over. When I glance back, his eyes are locked on me. “Damn, Red. You are so fucking hot. I can’t believe you’re mine.”
With a wink, I toss over my shoulder, “You’re pretty hot yourself. I’m a lucky girl, Xander.”
By the time I get back to the bed, Xander is out cold again, lightly snoring. I dig around in my bag for a second and come up with a hair elastic. I quickly tie my hair back, then hurry from the room. I didn’t want to worry Xander, but my cheek hurts like a bitch. I move down the stairs as quietly as I can and sneak, in the dark, down the hallway to the kitchen for some ice.
I skid to a halt at the entryway; a few under-cabinet lights illuminate the room. Isabella sits at the counter, flipping through a magazine. “Oh.”
She glances up at me, surprised at my sudden appearance. I wonder if she can tell I’d been riding her son like a cowgirl. I grimace inwardly.
“Everythin
g o—” She blinks and stands up from the stool, circling the island. Her eyes have zeroed in on my cheek, and I suddenly regret coming downstairs.
She puts a few fingers under my chin and gently tilts my face to the side. Her jaw stiffens. “He didn’t—”
My eyes widen as I realize she thinks Xander hit me on purpose. Beat me. Like his dad did to her. “No. No, no. Not at all. Nothing like that.” I shake my head quickly. “He—he had a nightmare. I was trying to wake him, and he caught me with his elbow.”
“You’re sure.” It doesn’t come out as a question. “You promise me you’d tell me if he was—”
“I would. He didn’t. He wasn’t even awake. He was crying out and shouting a bunch of stuff. I was stupid to get close, but I thought maybe—”
Her eyes close for a second before she lets go of my chin and swivels on her heel, marching straight over to the freezer. She digs around a bit and finds a bag of peas. “Here, honey. Hold these on your cheek. Can I get you another cup of tea? Or something stronger?” She mumbles under her breath, “What a freaking day.”
“Um. Tea would be fine. Maybe some peppermint this time, if you have it?”
“Of course.” She opens the same cabinet June had earlier, where the stash of tea is kept. For a few moments, I watch as she sets about heating some water.
“Peppermint …” I swallow past the lump in my throat. “It was my mom’s favorite. We’d drink it together whenever one of us had a bad day.”
“Sit, honey.” She heaves out a sigh. “I’d be honored if you’d allow me to have a cup with you now.”
I give her a small smile and nod. “I’d like that.”
“Shitty day, huh?”
“You can say that again.” I prop my elbow on the table and hold the peas to my sore cheek.
Once we have steaming mugs of tea in front of us, I take a sip and bolster up my courage. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t feel comfortable.” I meet Isabella’s steady, questioning gaze. “How often does he have these nightmares? Do you know?”
She blows on her tea before placing the mug down in front of her. “It makes my heart ache to say this, but I’m pretty sure he has them quite often. He tries to hide it from me.” She gives me a sad, tortured smile. “He’s been having them since the first time Joseph took his belt to him. He was just a little guy. I-I couldn’t stop it.”
Chapter 26
Xander
Waking up with Scarlett curled around my body makes me really fucking happy. A sweeping contentment rolls through me, leaving me feeling whole. The truth of it bursts through me like a lightning strike—I’m not falling. I’ve already fallen. It’s done. I brush my lips over her forehead, and she mumbles in her sleep and cuddles closer to me. She’s mine.
And there’s nothing—not a damn thing—that will stop me from protecting what’s mine.
She shifts closer to me as she wakes and looks up at me from where her head rests on my chest. “Good morning.”
“Morning.” I drag in a deep breath and kiss the top of her head. “I guess you’re going to school, huh?”
She nods. “Yeah. You’re staying home?”
“The doctor told Mom to watch me today and if I was feeling better, I could try going tomorrow.”
“Don’t push it, Xander. We’re lucky it turned out to be pretty minor. How’s that thick skull of yours doing today?”
I trace my fingertips up and down her arm “I don’t know what it’ll be like if I get up and move around, but I’m okay right now.” Hesitation never got anyone anywhere, so I rush on. “I love waking up with you.”
“Mm. I can’t complain. I like being able to touch you whenever I want.” She wets her lips, drawing my eyes to them.
I lightly touch my lips to hers, then tilt her face to the side, my eyes scanning her cheek. “This doesn’t look too bad.”
She presses her lips together. “That’s because your mom gave me a bag of frozen peas to bring the swelling down.”
“Oh, man.” I squeeze my eyes shut. “Did she freak?”
“A little at first. Everything’s fine. Don’t worry about it.”
I can only imagine what my mother thought when my girlfriend appeared with a bruise raising on her cheek. It sets off internal panic that anyone would think I hit her on purpose. “I’ll worry because it’s you and I don’t ever want to hurt you. Never again.” I feather a kiss over the sore spot. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t. It’s not your fault.” Scarlett’s blue eyes flash brilliantly at me. Defiantly. “I don’t want you apologizing for that.” A tiny little smirk slides across her face. “Now, if you want to repeat that thing you did with your tongue last night, that’d be okay.”
“You little minx.” I laugh and pin her under me, running my fingers over her ribs, tickling. She squirms and giggles as she tries to get away. “If you’re not careful, I’ll make you late for class, Red.”
She nips at my earlobe. “How are you going to do that?” One of her eyebrows twitches up in challenge as she eases back to look into my eyes.
“I’ll eat your pussy for breakfast and make you come so hard you’ll still be feeling it while you sit in the middle of English listening to Mrs. Harden drone on about some long-dead poet.”
“I dare you to try.”
Challenge accepted. I kneel over her, slide her sleep shorts off, and dive between her legs, my face the closest place to heaven that I can think of. I take my time kissing her sweet, pink pussy, flicking my tongue over her clit, and making her writhe under my touch. She tastes salty and tart and sweet all at the same time. I could spend the whole morning like this, but we’ve got a limited amount of time if she is going to get to school before the first bell.
I glance up to find her face all flushed and rosy, the impending orgasm clear from her expression. She’s panting, her lips slightly parted, her eyes glazed over. I swipe my tongue over her from back to front, groaning as I do. The sounds she’s making are incredibly sexy. I spread her legs wider with my hands, dipping my tongue into her hot, wet core, doing “that thing” that she likes. She cries out, breathless, rocking her pussy against my face as her orgasm overwhelms her.
When she finally comes down, she covers her face, mumbling between her fingers, “God, that was good.”
I roll her to the side and swat her behind. “Good, then my job is done. Now get your cute little ass out of the bed and into that schoolgirl uniform before you really are late. And have fun thinking of me in English.”
A while later, I finally decide it’s time to wander down to the kitchen in search of food. Scarlett left for school over an hour ago. Her naked body in my bed is exactly what my concussed head needed last night—my hard dick in her pussy, making her twitch and moan. I’m convinced Red makes everything better. And I can’t forget how she’d looked when I told her I’m falling for her. My heart had almost burst wide open with the pure emotion of it. I’ve never felt like this before. Never.
The sounds of cooking drift to me as I come down the hallway, and when I enter, Sebastian is seated at the kitchen island and June is sliding an omelet onto his plate for him.
Sebastian looks up, surprised, one brow lifting. Yeah, me too, buddy. I didn’t expect to see him back already. Did he just get in, or had Scarlett run into him this morning? “I heard you did some time in the hospital yesterday afternoon.” He studies me over his coffee cup. “Feeling okay today? I had to stop your mother from going up to check on you this morning.”
“Yeah.” I rake my hand through my hair. “I’m good, I think. Just going to take it easy today.”
When I make like I’m going to get myself coffee, June fusses. “Go sit down, Xander. I’ve got it. I’ll whip you up something to eat, too.”
For a few minutes, the room is quiet as Sebastian eats his omelet, and I sip on my coffee while June gets busy at the cooktop.
Sebastian clears his throat and wipes his mouth with a napkin, setting it down on his plate before turning to me. “I
thought you’d broken things off with Scarlett.”
“Sebastian …” June’s eyes get big as she sets my omelet down in front of me.
I suck in a breath, ignoring his question. “Did you see her this morning?”
He assesses me carefully before answering. “I did. We didn’t speak, though.”
My jaw locks as I stare back at him. “I know she’s yours.” I fling my hand across the island. “It’s obvious from June’s face that she knows, too. Probably knew the second she met her. I’d be willing to bet that June’s known there was a child out there for years.” My angry gaze flicks to June for a second before it comes right back to Sebastian. “This secret isn’t going to keep much longer. I’ve seen the photo—more importantly, I’ve seen what’s written on the back of it. You worried? Because I think maybe you should be.” I let that bomb drop heavily between us, ready to explode. I slap my hand on the counter. “I tried to help you. I tried to get rid of her. I thought it would be better for your wife if Scarlett dropped out of Rosehaven and left. What the fuck were you even thinking paying for her to come to school here? You had to know this would get out.” I study him for several seconds, only to be met with silence. I grind my teeth together, jaw twitching. “Dammit, Sebastian, I’ve put everyone’s needs before my own. I broke up with her. I hurt her so badly that she never should have forgiven me.”
He shakes his head slowly, narrowing his eyes at me. “What the fuck happened, then?”
“I fucking fell for her, okay? I’m in love with her. I regret every second I wasn’t with her—every awful thing I did to try to make her hate me.” I shake my head. “And somehow, she’s forgiven me. I won’t push her away again. So, whatever you did, you’re going to have to fucking realize that it might come out. I hope you’re ready.”
Through his teeth, he grits out, “You little shit.”
“The worst part is you know what Mom went through with my dad. I swear if you hurt her or Janie with this, I will never forgive you.”