by K. C. Mills
“You’re just as ignorant as the man who raised you, but that's to be expected. You can walk out of here if you want to, but I promise you’d much rather hear what I have to say.”
I chuckled. “I’m far from ignorant, old man. I can prove that to you if you want,” I said, turning to face him again.
When I laid eyes on him, he lowered his gun and placed it on the table next to him before he took his seat again. I guess that was his way of letting me know that he didn't fear me.
“I’m going to tell you something that will change everything about who you think you are. Your own father doesn't even know what I’m about to tell you, and after that, you can walk away and do whatever the fuck you want. But here’s a promise I can make you, and that’s that you will not take the life of your brother. You’ll die first, and I’ll make that happen myself.”
“My brother, the fuck you talking about?” I looked at Haas like he had lost his mind.
“I thought that might get your attention,” Haas said with a smug grin before he continued. “Senior’s empire never belonged to Nolan. In fact, Nolan started out working for Senior, which I knew was going to be a bad idea. Nolan had no intention of working under his brother. He wanted to take over, but Senior has a good heart and tried to make it work. He felt a sense of responsibility to look out for his little brother, but Nolan couldn't appreciate that. As soon as Senior found out Nolan’s true intentions, he black walled him. The only way Nolan could make a name for himself was to leave. That’s how he ended up in New York. That’s how you have what you have today.”
“That ain't what my pops told me, so why should I believe you? My pops is your dirty little secret. The child you didn't want and walked away from, so of course you would take Senior’s side. Your fucking golden child.”
Hass chuckled. “That’s what he told you, huh? Nolan is a got damn liar. I never treated him any different, in fact, I tried my best to make sure he knew he was just as important, but his mother couldn't accept the fact that I wasn't leaving my wife for her and she turned him against me. She kept him away from me to the point where I gave up. I supported him financially, but it was impossible for me to have a relationship with him. The same way he kept you away from me and the same way he kept you away from your real father.”
My head tilted to the side and I peered at this nigga, trying to figure out if he was senile or something. “The fuck you mean my real father?”
“Exactly what I said. I told you that I was going to tell you something that your own father didn't know, I wasn't talking about Nolan. I meant Senior.”
“Yo, you confused as fuck. Senior is not my got damn father.”
“He is, but you don't have to take my word for it. Just ask your mother. I know she’s the reason why you're here. I know she’s dying and she needed to get this off her chest before—”
“Yo, don’t say that shit.” I felt my body tense up and my fist clench.
Haas’ expression softened a little, but he remained serious. “Lourdes reached out to me, Laken. Only your mother and Nolan knew that Senior was your father. If things were different and she wasn't sick then she likely never would have wanted you to know, any of us to know, but she’s worried about you and she needed you to know the truth. That's why she sent you here. I wouldn't lie to you, son. I don't have a reason to, she wanted you to know, but she couldn't tell you herself. She said it hurt too much and she regrets all the years that she kept it from you.”
I just stared at this nigga, floored by what he was throwing at me. I had no words, but at the moment I needed to get the fuck out of there. Without saying anything else, I just turned and headed toward the door. Haas didn't stop me, but I assumed he knew I’d be back. For now, I needed to go see my mother and figure out what the fuck was going on.
*****
“Is it true?” I asked the second she opened her eyes, and a faint smile crossed her frail face.
I had been sitting by her bed watching her sleep for the past hour. I didn’t have the heart to wake her, so I waited and the second my words registered with her, the smile she wore faded. She looked away from me but didn't speak.
“Ma, is it true? Just tell me. I’m not mad, but I need to know if it's true.”
“I need you to understand why,” she said softly this time with her eyes on me.
I scooted closer to her bed, taking her hand in mine and held it against my face. I could tell she was struggling, so I needed her to know it was okay to let it out.
“Your father hurt me so many times, Laken.”
Hearing that caused pain in my chest. I knew it was true. He had cheated on my mother more than I cared to remember. Even as a child I knew this because he was so dirty that he would take me with him sometimes.
I hated that shit, but I wasn't going to be responsible for breaking my mother’s heart. After the first time she got cancer, my father made me promise not to tell her. He said it would break her, so I never did.
“I know, Ma. I'm sorry for that.”
“Don't be sorry, Laken. It's not your fault.” She released a short sigh and began to ramble, so I waited and listened. “I knew who Senior was. Your father obsessed over him. It was all he talked about, how Haas and Senior had ruined his life. I wanted to hurt him in the worst way possible, so I went to Senior. He had no idea who I was. To him, I was just another one of the many women he slept with.
It lasted for a while, until I ended up catching feelings. I never wanted it to go that far, but with Senior, it was hard not to. I knew then that I had to walk away, so I did. Problem was, I was already pregnant with you. I never told Senior, I couldn't because he would have forced me to tell Nolan, and I knew that one of them would die because of it.
After Senior found out that I was married to Nolan, he was furious, thinking that Nolan had set him up, that I had set him up. I did, but not in the way he was thinking. I just wanted to hurt Nolan, and what better way than to sleep with the brother that he hated.
When Senior found out why, he walked away and I never heard from him again. Nolan almost did too, until he found out about you. It was like he obsessed with the idea of raising Senior’s son. In some sick way it gave him comfort, like it was some type of victory. I knew I was wrong, but telling Senior would have cost a life, and I didn't want that blood on my hands. You had a good life and I loved you enough for both of us. I didn't see the harm in it, but now, Nolan wants you to kill your father, and your brother. I can't let you do that. I just can't, so I reached out to Haas, hoping that he could put an end to all this.”
I watch my mother’s face, tears streaming down her cheeks and my heart was breaking. I was furious about the situation, but I couldn't be mad at her. I wanted to be, but I couldn't.
I stood and wiped my mother’s tears. After a kiss on her forehead, I looked her right in the eyes. “I love you, Ma, get some rest and I’ll be back later.” I walked out of the room with her behind me calling my name, but I didn't stop. I couldn't. I had to meet Royce.
“Yo, I’ve been calling you for like the past hour. Are we still doing this shit?” Royce’s voice filled my car as I headed toward the Turnpike. I could tell he was nervous as fuck and that shit annoyed me.
“Nigga, calm the fuck down. I’m heading that way. I said I’ll be there. You really starting to piss me the fuck off. You gon’ fuck around and make me shoot your dumb ass too,” I yelled, griping my steering wheel. I already had enough shit fucking with my head. I didn't need his bitch ass making it worse. I was already struggling to stay focused.
“My bad, I’m just saying, we don't need to fuck up this opportunity. They’ll never expect you to show, and they’ll be so focused on me that it will be the perfect opportunity for you to catch them off guard. Nobody knows about this location, so I know that Siah and Jock will show up alone. It will just be the two of them. I’ve only been there once, when we had to handle somebody.”
“Nigga, just take your ass there, and try not to fuck up before I get th
ere.”
I ended the call and my phone went off again. This time it was my pops. Well fuck, I guess this nigga was now my uncle. I didn't have time to deal with him, so I ignored the call.
I didn't know what the fuck he was about to say, but I wasn't in the right mind to hear it. As for now, I needed to figure out my next move, and I didn't need his voice in my head fucking up my train of thought. I was on my own with this one.
Jock
8 PM
I read the text from Siah and then slid my phone back into my pocket. Kizzie looked at me before her eyes moved to the door again. We had been waiting on her mother for the past thirty minutes, and she was nervous as hell. She had already told me twice that we needed to reschedule. Fuck that. We were doing this shit now. If she didn’t show, that was one thing, but we weren’t bailing.
“Why the fuck you stressing, Kiz? She can't tell me shit I don't already know about you, and she can't change how I feel.” I reached across the table and covered Kizzie’s hand with mine while she looked up again.
“Then why are we here? If it doesn't matter, then what’s the point?” she asked with a slight frown on her face.
“L’Cause that shit matters. If my moms and grandma were still alive, you would have met them a long time ago. Your mom is a part of you, so that shit matters to me.”
Kizzie sighed and then leaned back against her chair looking frustrated as hell.
“Sorry, baby, it's been a crazy day and I—” Kizzie and I both looked up at the same time her mother stopped mid-sentence. The displeased look on her mother's face didn't sit well with me, but I kept that shit to myself.
I already wasn't a fan, based on what little I knew from Kizzie, but I was gon’ give this shit a chance. The only reason I really wanted to be here was because I need to feel her out. For some reason she was always in Kizzie’s head, and I knew that had a lot to do with the way Kizzie was with me. I needed to get a handle on things and that started with her mother.
“Who’s this?” she asked, peering right at me, but talking to Kizzie. I was a little annoyed because that meant that Kizzie hadn't told her that I was gonna be there, but I let it slide because I knew why.
“Jahari Mitchell.” I stood and extended a hand to her, which she looked at for a second before she accepted and loosely shook. Strike one. This bitch was disrespectful.
“I thought it was just going to be us, Kizzie.” She frowned at her daughter before peering at me again.
“I know Ma, but Jock… I mean Jahari, wanted to meet you, so…” Kizzie shrugged as her mother took a seat across from us.
I sat again, but this time moving my seat closer to Kizzie’s and then lowered my arm across the back of her chair.
“So Jock, I take it you’re dating my daughter?” She made a point of calling me Jock instead of Jahari, which I thought was funny.
“Yeah, we’re together. Have been for a minute,” I said, kissing Kizzie on the cheek and then looking at her mother with a cocky grin.
“Oh yeah, well I thought you were dating the other guy. What was his name? Red, I think,” she said, matching my grin. Strike two. I see now, she wants to play games.
“Ma, don't do that,” Kizzie said.
“Do what, baby? I was just trying to get my facts straight. I mean, I never know with the way you jump around. It's fine though, because no sense in getting tied down when you don't have to be,” She winked at her daughter and Kizzie tensed up.
“So how are you?” Kizzie asked, changing the subject.
I could feel how uncomfortable she was, and that was fucking with me. I had a good mind to shut this shit down right now, but decided to try and let it play out.
“You know me, just surviving. You look nice, though. I like that dress. Looks expensive. He buy that for you, cause he looks like the type that can afford it.”
I chuckled but lifted my menu instead of responding. I could see now why Kizzie didn't want me to meet this trick. She was ignorant as fuck.
“I bought it,” Kizzie snapped and then gave her mother a look that begged her to behave.
“Well, what’s he doing for you? I mean, I taught you better than to just give it up for free.”
“Ma, really? Can you just be a parent for once? I’m really not here for all that,” Kizzie said. I could tell she was embarrassed, and that shit struck a nerve with me.
“It's cool, Kiz,” I interjected and looked at her mom. “She don't need shit from me, but she can get everything from me, so to answer your question. I’m doing whatever she needs me to do, whenever she needs me to do it.”
Again, my eyes moved back to my menu, not even caring enough to wait for her response. If I ever wondered why Kizzie kept running from a real nigga, this trifling shit right here explained it.
Her mother laughed. “Oh, so you one of those, huh? See, Kiz, I told you there’s always one of those willing to finance you if you play your cards right, no sense in giving up the goods for free. Make him pay for it. I guess you did learn something from me.”
Is this bitch serious?
“Are we ready to order?” I looked up at the waitress who was standing next to the table and smiled. Kizzie’s mom glanced at me.
“I assume this is on you, right?” she asked before looking at her menu again.
“Umm, I’ll be right back. Just order me anything.” Kizze pulled her chair back and stood, but I caught her hand.
“You good, shorty?” I looked Kizzie right in the eyes and could see the frustration all over her face. I wasn't about to make her suffer through any more of this shit, but I needed to have a moment alone with her mother before we left.
“I’m fine. I just need to use the bathroom before we eat. You can order me anything,” she said softly before stepping back.
“Aight, I got you.” I winked at Kiz before I cut my eyes at her mother who was in her own little world, trying to figure out how much of my money she could spend based off the menu she was looking at.
“When Kizzie was far enough away, I leaned back and pulled some money out of my pocket and held it in my hand
“Yo, can you give us a minute please?” I said to the waitress. She looked right at me and then back at Kizzie’s mother before she nodded and walked away.
I stared at Kizze’s mother for a minute, taking in her features. She was an older version of Kizze, so she was beautiful, but her fucked up attitude killed that.
“Well?” she said, looking me right in my eyes, like she was annoyed. “Let's hear it. I assume you sent the waitress away so that you could tell me what you think about me, but let's be clear. I didn't really five a fuck. What you have to say is not going to change my opinion about you or what I expect my daughter to get out of this so called relationship you’re in.”
She waved her hand in the air at me, and I wanted to smack the stupid out of her. Strike Three. This bitch was out of her muthafucking mind.
I pinched the bridge of my nose and inhaled to keep my cool. “You have got to be kidding me. Where the fucking cameras at, yo? There is no way you’re really this fucked up?” I said through a laugh while looking around.
“I’m fucked up because I teach my daughter not to trust niggas like you? That she needs to get what she can, when she can, because before she can blink good the next bitch will be sitting right where she is. I know your type—”
I cut that shit off quick. “You don't know shit about me, so if you wanna be clear about something, let's be clear ’bout that. And hell yeah you’re fucked up for teaching her that shit. You basically just said you raised your daughter to be a fucking prostitute. And if that’s not fucked up enough, you’re saying that shit like you’re proud of it. What kinda shit is that? You're the reason why she scared to give a nigga like me a chance. You got her head so fucked up that she thinks that if she lets herself feel something, I’m gon’ fuck her over. Yo, you foul as fuck for that.
“I don't know what nigga you gave your pussy to and he broke your heart, but every nigga
ain't that nigga, and I damn sure ain't. I love your daughter. Shit, I'd give my life for her right muthafucking now if I needed to, so I ain't tripping off this shit. But trust me, you need to check yourself ’cause you ain't living right and that shit right there can't be good for your soul.
“But don't worry about Kizzie. I got her. It may take some time for her to one hundred percent believe in that, but trust me, she will. And if I find out even for one second that you in her head trying to fuck with that, then you gon’ have to deal with me. That’s a problem you don't want.”
I tossed two bills on the table and stood. “Your food is on me. Have a nice fucking life.”
I walked off without even looking back over my shoulder to see if she picked her damn mouth up off the floor. I headed in the direction of the bathrooms and waited for Kizzie. Fuck this bullshit. I just needed to see what I was dealing with, now that I had come face to face with the problem, I knew how to fix what she had fucked up in Kizzie.
The second Kizzie stepped out of the bathroom and laid eyes on me, she knew something wasn't right. I could see it all over her face.
“What's wrong?” she asked when she was close enough.
I closed her in my arms and hugged her tight as I could for a few minutes without saying anything. When I let her go, I kissed her on the forehead and then took her hand.
“Let’s go.” I started moving and Kizzie yanked back and stopped.
“We’re leaving?” She looked at me confused.
“I know you didn't want to do this shit, but you did it for me and I appreciate that. I’m not gon’ make you sit through any more of that bullshit, though. It's not worth it, and I love you too much to make you do that. I got what I need, so we’re good.”
I stepped to her and connected my lips with hers before I took her hand again and started walking. This time she moved with me. After we were in the car, she stared at me briefly with a look of disappointment.