Adventures of a Graveyard Girl (A Kait Lenox YA Chick Lit Mystery) (Funeral Crashing)

by Milda Harris

  I was confused, "Why?"

  "You crash funerals," the man said. "I've seen you here attending them. You need to leave."

  I frowned at him, "I know the girl who died. I was in Pep Club with her."

  The man looked at me like I was lying, "Please leave."

  I wasn't sure what the rule to funeral crashing was when the Funeral Home Director found you out. Maybe it was wear a disguise or just simply never go to that funeral home again. I wondered how he had found me out, though. I had never actually gotten caught by a guest and gotten in trouble, well, almost, once, but I ran away and it was at a different funeral home. I didn't count that time with Ariel and Leonora. That was different. And, well, Ethan caught me too, but I know that he didn't snitch on me.

  Then again, the whole school was at this funeral and I did have a weird graveyard girl, funeral crashing reputation. Someone probably just thought it would be funny to get me kicked out of Madison's funeral. Ariel's name flashed through my brain, but I didn't think she was a tattler. She was much more of a gossip.

  I looked sideways at Ethan to see how he was taking this latest development. I wasn't sure what to do. I definitely didn't want to cause a scene at a funeral, especially one that probably most of my high school was going to be attending. Yet, it was really important that I be at this funeral. How did we get out of this?

  Wow, I hadn't thought of it, but Madison's funeral was really going to be a blending of my two worlds. That was surreal. I was curious to walk further into the funeral home, but the Funeral Director was still blocking my way.

  "I do know Madison Brown," I said again. "I can show you my school ID and prove that I went to school with her."

  The Funeral Director shook his head, "Please leave before I call the police."

  "The police are here," A voice said from behind us.

  Ethan and I turned to look and found ourselves face to face with Detective Dixon. Uh-oh. The last time we had seen him at a funeral, we had to make a run for it. This was not going to be good, even if he had paid me a compliment a couple of days ago.

  "Detective Dixon, you have to listen to us, we are seriously here to mourn Madison Brown," I said, rambling.

  "I know," Detective Dixon said, looking between Ethan and me, "And, I expect that's all you'll be doing. Right?"

  "Yes, sir," Ethan said.

  I nodded my agreement. It was a lie. I mean, I'd keep it on the down low and everything, but I couldn't promise not to pay attention and try to discover more clues if the opportunity arose. Other people were going to be talking about the murder. It's not like I couldn't partake. It was a free country. Still, Detective Dixon didn't need to know that and Ethan and I were really there to mourn Madison. I was genuinely sad to be at her funeral.

  The Funeral Director was looking at Detective Dixon like he'd grown horns and joined a cult. I didn't blame him. It wasn't often a policeman took the side of some meddling teenagers.

  The Funeral Director frowned at us, "Just be sure you do."

  Yeah, I wasn't going to be hitting up this funeral home anytime soon unless I dyed my hair and wore a disguise. I hadn't even done anything wrong by attending those other funerals. I mean, I hadn't known the deceased, but it wasn't like I'd wreaked havoc on the funeral or wake or anything. I'd have to start being more careful. Maybe disguises were a good idea, actually. It might be fun to play a different part every time.

  Ethan took my hand and brought me out of my thoughts as he said, "We're going to go into the viewing room now."

  Ethan led me away from Detective Dixon and the Funeral Director, who turned to look at each other. I was sure they were going to have a conversation that I didn't want to hear. I was sure it was all about me.

  "That was close," I said as we walked down the hallway to the viewing room.

  The walk was a little surreal being that the hallway was littered with people from high school. It was like walking down a high school corridor, but in a funeral home. Everyone was staring you down, sizing you up, and yet, half of them had tissues and were dabbing their eyes. Overall, it was a very strange moment for me.

  "You need to be more careful," Ethan warned, bringing me out of my thoughts.

  "I know," I said. "I'm thinking costumes and disguises."

  Ethan looked at me, amused, "Really?"

  "Yeah," I shrugged, "Really. I mean, it's a free country and I'm not disturbing anything. I just need to make sure I don't get caught and arrested or anything, though. My dad would kill me."

  Ethan shook his head, "I can't believe I'm dating a girl who likes funerals so much that she's willing to invent disguises."

  I knew it was a weird trait on my part, so Ethan's statement didn't bother me. He was getting used to it. What was bothering me more was that Ethan had said the word dating. I focused on that word in the sentence. What did it mean? Was that the telltale sign that we were now boyfriend and girlfriend? Or, did dating in this connotation just mean hanging out? It really shouldn't have been this confusing. It was driving me nuts trying to figure this out. Maybe I could help the answer along...

  I had to reply to Ethan's statement with something witty and light and about dating, "Well, at least you know that dating a funeral crasher won't be boring."

  I looked at Ethan to see if he would flinch at the word dating. He didn't. So, why didn't he say the word girlfriend? It would really help my brain out.

  "It's definitely not boring," Ethan grinned and I smiled back at him. He was so cute.

  Then Ethan's smile faded and he squeezed my hand. We were entering the viewing room for Madison Brown and the air was heavy with mourning. I felt my smile die too and my heart went out to Madison and her family.

  Chapter 17: Eulogy Giving

  Madison Brown was more popular for having died than she ever would have been in high school, including her time as Pep Club president. She had a little over three hundred friends on Facebook and the viewing room was packed. Every one of those friends was there, plus more. This was only the start of the night. People would come in and out all night. Girls were crying. I sort of wondered if some of them even knew Madison or were putting on a show for their friends. Was it heartless of me to think that? I didn't think so. If you've ever been a girl in high school, you know that sometimes people just play a part. There sure were a lot of girls pressing tissues to their teary eyes and looking up into handsome boy's eyes to see the effect. And, hey, Ethan and I officially connected at a funeral, so I won't say it doesn't work, but I didn't go to that funeral trying to pick up guys. Just saying.

  Looking around the room, I started to think that maybe our promise to Detective Dixon would end up being true. There were so many people at the funeral that it would be hard to investigate it. Somehow I didn't think the murderer was going to stand up at the front of the room and give a eulogy or anything. What would they start with? Something like - You're all here today because of me?

  Ethan and I walked up to the casket. I hadn't seen Madison since that long ago day at the school year's first Pep Club meeting, but I was amazed at how much she looked like she was sleeping. I felt a wave of sadness pass through me. We had to move on, but I just wanted to stay there and look at her for a little longer. I felt Ethan pull my hand. I took one last look and we walked toward the back of the room and blended in with the other high school students that were milling around.

  It really felt like the whole school had shown up for the funeral. It was completely possible that Madison's murderer was present, pretending to mourn her too. Ethan and I were surrounded by people from school. Some of them were seniors and looked familiar, but I didn't know them. We waded our way into the crowd of people, slowly, listening to conversations as we passed. Some people were whispering about the murder, afraid to talk too loudly in case someone who really knew Madison got upset about it. Other people were truly upset and crying, with friends consoling them. And other people weren't talking about Madison at all, but about high school stuff like: "Oh my gosh. Jason Gregor
y is so cute. Do you think he'll talk to me?" I sort of wanted to listen in on that one because it made me wonder who Jason was and if he would talk to the girl in question, but Ethan kept moving forward. I followed him. We were on a mission. We had more important conversations to eavesdrop on.

  I stopped short as a super cute little girl with short brown curly hair ran in front of me, all dressed in black. I almost stepped on her. Then she turned to look at me and my breath caught. She was smiling and she looked so much like a little version of Madison that it scared me for a moment. This little girl had her same catchy grin. She had to be Madison's little sister, Lana. The obituary had mentioned her. I guessed her to be about three or four. She was positively adorable. Poor kid. I didn't have any siblings, but no child should have to deal with their big sister dying. I thought of Ethan's little sister, Lilly. We hadn't officially met yet because I hadn't been to Ethan's house to meet anyone officially, but Lilly had lost a sibling at a young age too. She and Lana had something really sad in common. Still, kids were resilient. I hoped Lana would be okay.

  I saw that Lana was chasing a little boy and playing. She had darted in front of me, to catch him in a game of tag. I was sure that there had been a lot of tears shed for her sister, but Lana had moved on and was able to play. Tonight, when Lana got home, I was sure there would be more tears as Lana realized that her sister wasn't coming home from the funeral. I didn't beget Lana playing. She was dealing with death in her own way, as a kid. I was glad that kids had that resiliency. It really protected them. I knew her sister's death would affect Lana all of her life, but at least for now she could still play.

  "You're it!" Lana yelled after tagging the little boy.

  Everyone near Lana turned to look at her, scolding in their eyes, but her parents were at the front mourning their daughter. Nobody dared say anything. You could see who she was if you knew Madison or even if you had just looked in the coffin. I wanted little Lana to play on. I hoped nobody would say anything. The little boy turned and ran after Lana and they ran out of the room, continuing their game of tag.

  "I'm hungry," I whispered to Ethan. Besides, I was starting to feel really sad about Madison and her little sister.

  "Okay," Ethan said. "Let's go get some cookies."

  Ethan and I went into the kitchen to see if there were any snacks. Nine times out of ten, people brought something for guests to munch on. I hadn't eaten anything after getting home from school because I had to get ready and put on makeup, so I was sort of starving. Thank goodness someone had brought a ton of cookies. The last funeral Ethan and I had been to had cookies too, but sometimes there wasn't anything to eat. That happened too. This time there was a smorgasbord - besides the cookies there were tons of chips, veggies and dip, and cheese and crackers too. Someone had gone all out at the grocery store in the snacks section. They expected the high school kids to eat, obviously.

  I reached for a chocolate chip cookie and bumped into someone. It was Noah Robertson, of course.

  "Are you serious?" Noah looked down at me and said.

  I looked at him with the exact same incredulous expression that he had on his face, "I'm sorry. I didn't do it on purpose. I just wanted a cookie."

  Noah frowned at me, grabbed five cookies and limped away. I felt annoyed and then puzzled. His cast was on the wrong foot. Or had I remembered it wrong? I stared at him until he disappeared. Was Noah lying about his foot? Maybe I was mistaken. I thought back to running into him earlier in the week. Which foot had the cast been on? Or was I just looking for something, anything, to catch the killer? Maybe my brain was just starting to make stuff up. Still...

  "What was that about?" Ethan asked from behind me.

  "You don't want to know," I shook my head and scooped up a few chocolate chip cookies, resolving to keep an eye on Noah's feet.

  Ethan and I went into the lounge with our snacks. I wondered if I was going to get a stomachache from the cookies and coffee I was having for my after school lunch slash dinner. Ethan was eating the same linner, except that he had a couple more peanut butter cookies than I did. Those looked good, actually, but I stopped myself from going to get more. Maybe we could stop and get some fast food on our way home.

  There were a lot of people in the lounge and it was proving to be a good location for people watching. I caught a glimpse of Ariel, but then she was gone into the viewing room.

  For a while I watched Sebastian Zane talking to some of his friends in a corner, like he was holding court. He and Jenny Kendall were vying for the most people talking to them. I recognized a lot of people in both of their groups from the Pep Club meeting. I wondered if they were still campaigning for Pep Club president. Or, maybe they were forming Anti-Ariel sects of the club. I just couldn't believe that they were doing it at Madison Brown's funeral. Maybe they were hoping for some sort of posthumous support from Madison, like a seal of approval from the casket. I wondered what they had planned for Julia's funeral.

  "Hey, you two," Logan Collins said, sitting down beside us.

  This was weird. I was sitting between two of the hottest guys at my school - one from the senior class and one from the junior class - at a funeral. I felt like I had entered The Twilight Zone. I was almost waiting for the music from the old TV show to start playing in the funeral home. Why was Logan sitting with us? Sure, Ethan was popular, but I wasn't and Ethan and I were both juniors, while Logan was a senior and...

  "Have you found any more clues in Madison and Julia's deaths?" Logan asked.

  Ethan and I looked at each other. This was the first time anyone outside of our group seemed to genuinely want to hear about our investigation. It was actually kind of cool, like we were really on the case! I didn't count Julia, of course, because that whole conversation was weird and who knew what her ulterior motives were. I would probably never get a chance to understand her either, since she was dead and all.

  I tried not to stare at Logan and concentrated on speaking. I was nonchalant, not sure what I should give away just in case Logan was a gossiper, "Same old, same old. You don't by any chance know Ray Newton, do you?"

  I actually felt a little like Detective Dixon, being so vague. Funny. I would not under any circumstances, though, start using Styrofoam cups.

  Logan frowned, "He's a senior...right?"

  "Yeah," I said. "Supposedly he dated both Madison and Julia."

  "I don't really know him," Logan said.

  "It was worth a shot," I said.

  I wondered if Ray would show up at the funeral. I still wanted to talk to Ariel about him. Regardless, he was the only suspect I hadn't actually spoken to yet.

  "Hey, guys," Suzie said, walking up, holding Kyle's hand.

  Kyle looked wearily at Logan, but didn't say anything. Suzie must have reassured Kyle that despite Logan's hotness, he was no match for Kyle's brains. Or, well, that was the one compliment I could think of, at least, that was true.

  Then Kyle and Suzie were suddenly sitting with us and Ethan's friends Dave and Mike came over and just like at the Homecoming Dance, I felt like we were forming a weird clique of popular/unpopular that was totally against all the rules of high school. Plus we were at a funeral. Silence descended over everyone. It was awkward. Thank goodness the memorial service was going to begin within the hour so we wouldn't have to deal with the weirdness for very long. Maybe Ethan and I could go for more cookies.

  It was almost seven o'clock when the service began. Ethan and I managed to garner a seat in the packed room, which was lucky. I had feigned having to go to the bathroom and we had escaped the others after ten minutes of awkward conversation. My feet were killing me. We had already been at the funeral a long time and I was wearing heels, so I was glad for the seat. There were more people standing outside. I saw Detective Dixon near the back, trying to blend into the masse of high school students who were in attendance. They easily outnumbered the amount of relatives. Everyone who was anyone was at this funeral. I saw Ariel standing along another wall with Troy. It was swe
et of him to come with her.

  A priest said some religious words, the room shrouded in silence. Then the eulogies began. It was the most heartbreaking, touching, amazing part of the wake or funeral for me. I loved hearing people's memories. It was the one thing that kept the dead, alive, eternally.

  When my mom died, a bunch of people gave eulogies. I was in super depressed mode and I didn't want to write one for her or speak in front of everyone. It was cool to hear what everyone else had to say, though, to see what they thought about my mom. I really appreciated the memories I didn't have of her told to me. Still, I wish I had spoken. There was a lot I had to say about my mom. The problem was that now, when I wanted to say them and talk about my memories, there was usually nobody around with whom to share the memories. The people who really knew my mom had been at the funeral and I didn't see them all that often. It would have been nice to share my memories with them.

  Madison's dad was the first one to speak. He barely got through a minute talking about what a wonderful girl Madison had grown up to be and how he had been so very proud of her. He opened up the floor to anyone who wanted to speak about Madison and got away from the podium before he burst into tears. My heart almost broke watching him speak about his daughter. There wasn't a dry eye in the room.

  Next was Madison's little sister, Lana. A relative led her up to the podium and stood next to her. You could tell that she was a little scared to be facing all of the people that had come to her big sister's funeral, but she was determined.

  "I loved my sister a lot. I'll miss her times a billion," Lana said quickly, but with such emphasis, my heart twisted at her words.

  Then I noticed that Lana had something in her hand, a piece of paper. It looked like a hand drawn card, although I couldn't see what she had drawn clearly. Lana walked from the podium to the casket and placed the card in it, next to her sister. Then she ran back to her parents and buried her face in her mom's shirt.