Innocent Darkness

by Suzanne Lazear

  “Steven and Noli asked the queen to free Noli so she could go home,” James explained. “You must word things carefully when dealing with the Fae.”

  “I know.” Steven wanted to bang his head against a tree. “I made a list; I thought I’d covered everything.” His expression contorted as pain and regret exploded through him, threatening to tear him into a million pieces. “But I hadn’t … and stupidly I thought that, perhaps, deep down, she was still our mother.”

  James’ eyes glistened as he shook his head slowly. “Me, too. But she isn’t, is she?”

  “No.” He shifted Noli’s in his arms. “We have to get her home. Will you help me?”

  “What do you think we can do? We can’t reverse anything the high queen does.”

  “We have to do something. Noli wouldn’t want to be this way.” It was everything she fought against at that dreadful school, everything she fought against in society.

  “What did she do?” Charlotte’s eyes filled with tears as she clutched James’ arm.

  “James, what are the prettiest of the earth court Fae?” Right now he couldn’t think straight. His finger traced her ear, which held the slightest of points—not a good thing.

  “Flying figs. Is she turning green?” James examined Noli’s hand. “If she turns green, she’ll be some sort of wood nymph.”

  Wood nymphs were tied to a piece of land such as a tree, a hill, or a grove. If that were destroyed, they would be, too, and they couldn’t be gone from it long without getting ill.

  “No. No green that I can see. Probably some sort of sprite.” James sighed in dismay. “Cruel, cruel woman.”

  “I should have known better,” he whispered. His mother liked to keep sprites in her entourage as courtiers, despite their beauty, because they made her feel clever.

  “I was the one who told you to go to her; I never thought she’d do this … ” James shook his head. “Come on. Let’s get Noli home.”

  “Yes, let’s.” He planted a kiss on Noli’s cool forehead. “I’m so sorry, darling. I’ll fix this. I promise.” He wasn’t sure how much he could do, but he had to do something. Now.

  Steven held Noli in his arms, the blanket pulled over them, as he dozed, waiting for her to wake. Over the past few days he and James had worked so hard to fight the transformation and try keep Noli’s mind and spirit intact. He could deal with her having the body of a sprite. Her having the mind of one would be hard on them all.

  Not to mention, it would be difficult to return her to the mortal realm like this. He’d need to watch her constantly, take care of her, protect her. But he didn’t mind. He made this mess, and he wouldn’t abandon her. Eventually, they’d find a way to fix it, her.

  Clearly, they’d never be able to reverse the transformation. Noli’s humanity was gone. As for the rest of her … He and James tried; they’d tried so hard. But they’d only made it worse. In his attempt to amend the queen’s spell, he’d managed to keep Noli’s memories, but he wasn’t sure what else. She hadn’t been awake from the transformation long enough for him to truly tell—though they were still trying, and he refused to stop.

  If only her memories were intact, it would be beyond cruel—to remember how she’d been, but forced to act in a way that would be appalling by her own standards. Hopefully, they’d kept enough of her spirit that she’d be able to counteract those sprite instincts.

  Even then, it would be difficult for her and she’d need him.

  Sprites cared little about the past or future, living in the moment. Though not clever or intellectual, they certainly were fun and upbeat. They could also be vapid and frivolous, easily strayed by parties, dresses, and shiny things, much like the society girl Noli never wanted to be.

  Her eyes fluttered open. “Hi, V.”

  “I love you.” He gave her a kiss on her perfect nose. When she’d first woke she’d been appalled by her appearance, by her womanly curves and slender frame. Her wild curls straightened to more manageable waves and the color changed from chestnut to mahogany. She still looked like her, but incredibly beautiful in a classic sense. The biggest physical difference was the slight point on her ears, but it wasn’t very noticeable, especially if she continued to wear her hair unbound. The other differences, however …

  She giggled at his kiss. Her eyes widened.

  He pressed a finger to her lips. “I told you, we’ll figure this out. I’m going back with you; I’ll stay by your side. None of this changes how I feel about you.” He held up his hand. “By the Bright Lady, I promise.”

  The war inside her played across her eyes like a moving picture. Hopefully they’d kept enough of her, otherwise it would it be a constant battle in her mind, her longing to be who she was but helpless to change herself. A horrible, terrible fate.

  “I trust you.” She kissed him back.

  He hoped he’d prove himself worthy of her trust—and that he could keep his promise.

  Homecomings

  Kevighn didn’t know where to go. Well, there was a place, but he wasn’t certain if they’d take him back after all this time.

  First he needed to see it. It was a fool’s errand if there ever was one. His cabin, and everything in and around it, including the grove and his parent’s house, was gone, his right to have them taken away when she’d banished him.

  Still …

  When he emerged from the familiar gate, limping from his injuries the guards had inflicted when they’d cast him out, he’d expected to be greeted with pure chaos, wild magic replacing the familiar cabin.

  A sharp gasp escaped his lips. The cabin stood there, awaiting his return as always.

  Kevighn scrubbed his eyes. A trick?

  He put his hand to the door of the cabin and it opened as always. A quick tour showed everything in its proper place. Bursting into the back gardens, he saw they—and Creideamh’s grove—still remained.

  His parent’s land was gone. But that wasn’t important to him. Still … how? Why?

  As he went inside to add a few things to his rucksack, he thought long and hard about this unexpected turn of events. There was only one person who would keep his lands intact. Really, he should go to him. If anyone would take him in, exile and all, it would be them.

  But not yet.

  He walked back out the front door, favorite bow slung over his shoulder, giving his cabin a long look, heart wrenching. If only things had been different. Eventually he’d return.

  No longer did he have a job. Noli was in the arms of that whelp of a prince. Kevighn wasn’t welcome among most of his kind. For the time being he might as well go back to the mortal realm and drown his sorrows in opium and soft women.

  He knew just the place.

  “Ready, Noli?” V came up behind her and gave her a kiss on the cheek. “I think so.” Noli fidgeted in front of the mirror as she fixed her hair. The waves were much easier to braid, but part of her missed her wayward curls. She still couldn’t get over her appearance. Or what was happening to her. “What will Mama say … about me?” She wasn’t totally unrecognizable, just a much more beautiful version of herself.

  “It will be fine. You still look like you, everyone’s just going to think you finished maturing at school and that growing was, um, kind to you. It does happen, you know.”

  She grimaced. “I liked my old self better.”

  “I know. I liked your old self better, too. We’re going to find a way to fix this.” V kept saying this to her over and over, probably to reassure himself as much as to reassure her.

  Taking his offered hand, she stood. She couldn’t help but be excited to return home to her mama. Everything would be fine, just like V said. “I’m going home.”

  “That you are.” He handed her a dark green cloak.

  She adjusted the cape in the mirror and turned a little, studying her reflection. “Do you think green is my color? Blue might bring out my eyes more.”

  Her mouth clamped shut. She kept saying and doing stupid things. It was as if someone el
se had taken control of her body and all she could do was watch in horror, powerless to stop it.

  V wrapped his arms around her. “I love the way you look in green.”

  Noli shouldn’t care what anyone thought about her appearance, but her heart fluttered and she turned away. She didn’t want V to know how hard this was on her; how it took every ounce of willpower she possessed to fight from succumbing to that other girl—the one who just wanted to drown herself in frivolity, completely unaware of the bigger picture.

  Even then, it didn’t always work.

  It physically hurt, both to resist and to see what she’d become. But she’d continue to fight from completely becoming this new girl. If she didn’t, the high queen would win.

  Finally, she could go home to her mama like she’d wanted.

  Like the wish in the tree, she regretted it.

  “Please don’t.” Taking her face in his hand, he covered it in kisses. “We could still stay here if you’d like, but I know you don’t.”

  For the briefest moment, that other girl wanted to. It would be much more fun here, with balls and parties …

  Noli gave that girl a mental shove, wishing she could lock her in the attic.

  “You’ll stay with me?” Noli wanted to smack herself. She sounded so clingy, so stupid.

  V gave her another kiss. “Of course.” He took her hand. “Let’s go say goodbye to Lottie and James, but we’ll be back soon.”

  “How exactly will we do that? We have to follow societal conventions again. We can’t sneak away together without causing a scandal. Besides, we’ll be punished for ages.” It would be worth it to see her mama again. She’d try to be a better daughter, to take care of her mama, just like she’d promised Jeff.

  “I’ll figure it out. I’ll be on restriction for life, but you won’t.” He led her towards the library. “It will look like you’re being sent home from school because you’ve been cured.”

  Noli winced. In a way she had. If she wasn’t vigilant, she’d become the very girl they wanted her to be.

  “I’m sorry,” he soothed. “I should have used another word.”

  They walked into the library. Noli ran to Charlotte and hugged her. “I will miss you.”

  “I’ll miss you, too.” Charlotte smiled. “You’re coming back soon?”

  “Of course, I’m going to build you a better chair. Someone has to know how that floating chariot works … if not perhaps I can base it on the workings of a hoverboard.” She’d tried here to see what she could design, but thinking often made her head hurt. Hopefully it would be easier to think back home.

  “I can’t wait.” Charlotte gave her one final embrace.

  Noli gave James a hug. “Bye, James.”

  “Hurry back.” James grinned.

  James’ clapped his brother on the shoulder. “I don’t envy you, but I appreciate you working things out with father for the both if us.”

  “I am eldest.” V smiled. “Besides, you’re the one who has to deal with Queen Tiana regularly. I don’t envy you there.”

  The queen kept dropping by, either to try to lure Charlotte back to the palace or gloat over Noli and their bad bargain. Noli learned her lesson; she’d never bargain with the Fae again.

  Taking her hand, V looked at her. “Ready?”

  “Can we go check on the wood faeries first?” She still possessed that connection with them, with the flowers and trees. If anything, it seemed stronger.

  “Of course.” He smiled. She appreciated how he didn’t pity her. He did coddle her, but sometimes she needed it.

  They visited faerie tree in the middle of the hedge maze. They’d buried all the little wood faeries who’d died and been checking on the ones who survived as they grew stronger. The wood faeries weren’t strong enough to fly around, but they did come out from their knothole, probably hoping she had treats for them in her dress pockets.

  “I’m sorry, but I don’t have anything for you today,” she told them.

  “I do.” V took a handkerchief out of his coat pocket, little pink cake inside. “But you have to share.” He broke it up and doled out pieces to all the wood faeries, who bickered and fought over crumbs of varying sizes.

  She smiled at their antics. “Will you let wood faeries move into my tree?”

  “If it’ll make you happy.” He took her hand. “Everything’s going to work out.”

  “If you can’t fix it no one can.”

  He smiled wryly. “That’s not precisely true, but I appreciate the vote of confidence.”

  “How could I not trust you?” She fingered her necklace, a sigil he called it. “You’re my best friend … and so much more. You defied your father to rescue me—and I know your father.” Noli grinned. “You even faced the high queen.”

  His face crumpled. “I’m sorry. I’ll fix it. We’ll fix it.”

  She ran her fingers through his wayward hair. “It’s not your fault. I don’t blame you.”

  Even if she wanted to. She found it difficult to feel negative—or complex—emotions for long, another thing she hadn’t told him. He had enough to worry about.

  Capturing her fingers, he kissed the tips, sending sparks of pleasure shooting through her. All those sensations had become more intense—and harder to fight.

  “I don’t deserve you.” His voice became ragged as their fingers intertwined.

  “Funny, I feel the same,” she replied.

  His eyes gazed deep into hers. “This does nothing to affect my feelings for you. It’s merely a setback. All relationships have setbacks.”

  She thought of her parents, how her mother still pined for her father. “That’s true.”

  Fingers still intertwined, he pulled her closer. “Magnolia Montgomery Braddock, I love you, and I promise to love, cherish, and protect you always.”

  He kissed her, slowly, madly, deeply, as if trying to connect their souls. She kissed him back, trying to take everything he offered—love, comfort, stability—and drink it in.

  She broke it off before it became more, even though that other part of her thought it crazy to break off a kiss with such a handsome man, and a prince to boot.

  “I love you.” She gazed into his eyes, enjoying this last moment. As hard as it would be, they’d have to be more cautious at home where, once again, propriety ruled. Taking her hand, he smiled. She squeezed it. Home. In a few moments she’d be able to hug her mama again.

  “Can I tell you how excited I am?” Allowing excitement to take over, she grinned again.

  He kissed her. “You just did.”

  Noli linked her arm through his. “Come on, V. Let’s go home.”

  Epilogue

  Home Again

  Noli’s heart beat a rapid tattoo as she walked up the steps of her house. V squeezed her hand so she couldn’t twist them. “I like the paint, V.”

  He grinned. “I’m glad. We tried to keep the place up for you.”

  “It looks nice.” The front of the house was dark, but this time of night Mama would be in the kitchen, sewing. She put her hand on the doorknob, hesitating. “Are you sure they’re going believe this?”

  “Yes, they will. Now, go on.” His hand found the small of her back, pushing her forward.

  Stealing herself, she turned the knob. She’d wanted to come home more than anything, and here she was.

  He put his hand on top of hers, smiling. “We can do this.”

  “Yes, we can.” She smiled back. Hiding everything from Mama would be difficult, even with V’s help.

  They walked inside and made their way through the dark parlor. Flickering light came from the kitchen. Her mama sat at the table, slumped over a half-made dress, asleep.

  How many times had Noli found her like this? That was it, no matter how difficult it might be to think sometimes, she was building a steam-powered sewing machine for mother.

  “Mama?” Her voice choked with so many emotions.

  Edwina Braddock’s eyes flickered open. They blinked, several
times. “Noli?” Her voice sounded sleepy. “Noli, is that you?”

  Heart in her throat, Noli nodded, biting her lip, not bothering to hide her tears of joy. Letting go of V’s hand, she ran to her mother.

  “Noli.” Standing, her mama embraced her, pressing her face into Noli’s hair. “Oh, Noli, you’ve grown so much.”

  “I’m sorry, Mama,” she sniffed. “I’m so sorry. I’ll be a better daughter, I promise. I love you. Please don’t send me away again. I missed you so much.”

  Mama cupped her face with a pale, delicate hand, tears streaming down her pretty face. “I know. I’m sorry, too. I love you so much. I missed you. I won’t send you away again, I promise.” Her lovely face had aged a little, creased with worry and fatigue—but it radiated pure joy. “Oh, just look at you. You’ve grown up so much I barely recognize you. What a lady you’ve become. But you’re home.” She wrapped her arms around Noli. “That’s the most important thing of all.”

  Suddenly, all the difficulties, all the sacrifices, seemed worth it. Mama was happy—and she was home. At last.

  The End

  About the Author

  Suzanne Lazear (Van Nuys, CA) is a regular blogger at the Steampunk group blog, Steamed! She plays with swords, runs with bustles, and is currently trying to make a ray gun to match her ball gown. Innocent Darkness is her YA debut.