by Toni Aleo
She smiles against my lips, and I cup her ass, needing her close to me. She kisses my top lip and whispers, “When do you have to leave?”
“I told my neighbor I’d get Celeste at three.”
She nods against my lips. “Well, I just decided I’m not going back to work.”
“No?”
“No,” she says, her eyes burning into mine. “So, want to stay here until you have to go?”
My lips slowly turn up, and I cup her neck ever so gently. “You couldn’t get rid of me if you tried.”
She beams. “And then, we can go get Celeste? Maybe get some dinner before I leave?”
My heart throbs in my chest. “I really like that idea.”
“Me too,” she agrees, her eyes searching mine as she swallows. I know she wants to say something, and while I don’t know what it is, I wait. I search her eyes too, yet she doesn’t say anything. Instead, her lips meet mine. As I get lost in her kiss, I can’t kick the feeling she had something to say. My insecurities try to rear their ugly head, but I don’t allow it. I can’t when I’m on the receiving end of Jaylin’s kisses.
Chapter Fifteen
Jaylin
* * *
I’m aware that I’m over thirty, but I enjoy very much doing TikToks with Callie.
It’s a long drive to Nashville, so to fill the time, we TikTok like I’m only eighteen and heading to college to start my new future. Not like I just spent the most amazing day in bed with one hell of a gorgeous man and then the afternoon with a beautiful father and daughter duo. I want to say I want to go back to my college days and relive them all with Callie, but I also don’t want to miss a moment with Kirby and Celeste. I hate that time was stolen from us, that we didn’t get to explore what could have been. Now that I have that chance, I can’t—hell, I won’t—give it up.
Yes, I am terrified by all these thoughts and feelings. In no way am I saying I’m falling in love. I adore him. I do. And I’m extremely attracted to him, but I’ve never had a relationship, so I need to pace myself. I can’t ruin this. I can’t overthink it. So instead, I’m going to do TikToks with Callie and try not to think of Kirby or Celeste.
It’s tremendously hard.
Especially when he is sending me pictures of Celeste.
“Aw, Kirby’s baby is so cute,” Callie says as she leans on me, looking at my phone. Celeste is in her high chair, with oatmeal all over her face. Her sweet blue eyes are shining with such happiness, and my stomach sinks at the thought of him not getting full custody. His court date is tomorrow, and I hope his ex shows up. This shouldn’t be prolonged. It’s cut-and-dried; she needs to let go. Though, I don’t think he believes she will. It makes me nervous. We didn’t talk about the court case at all today. Instead, we enjoyed Celeste and each other.
“She is,” I gush, grinning as I type how cute she is.
Aviva turns in her seat to see the picture and grins. “I just love her sweet little face. So, you spent the whole day with them?”
“Yup. I skipped work and hung with them. It was fun. Kirby is convinced she is going to be walking soon, but I don’t think so,” I giggle as Aviva beams at me. “She’s got some fatty legs.”
Aviva and Callie laugh, but Nico, he’s been quiet since I got in the car. I’m unsure if it’s the endless laughter or the TikToks that has him upset, but it’s easy to tell by the set of his shoulders that he is unhappy. “I love her little squishy self,” Aviva gushes.
“Me too. I had a blast today,” I admit, and Aviva grins.
“Good, I’m glad that you two are getting a chance at this.”
“For sure,” I agree, and Callie leans on me again.
“So, is he your boyfriend? ’Cause you’ve never had a boyfriend.”
I give her a dry look. “I’ve had boyfriends.”
She scoffs. “I may not have had time to date or even care about relationship stuff, but I know for a fact there is a difference between consistent hookups and boyfriends.”
Aviva and I gawk at our sweet Callie. “I don’t know what to say.”
Aviva shrugs. “She does that. Hits me with things I’m not ready to handle,” she says with a sigh, and Callie grins. “She may be growing up.”
Callie wiggles her shoulders in a cute, excited way. “It’s true.” We all giggle as she leans more into me, her chin on my shoulder. “Seriously, I’m excited. I love Kirby. He is so sweet, and it’s obvious you’re digging him,” she says then, her intrusive eyes making me feel a certain way.
Am I that obvious?
“I am, but you know.”
Aviva eyes me. “Know what?”
“That she isn’t the settle-down type,” Nico says then, his voice carrying through the SUV.
I make a face. “I was going to say, I don’t want to get my hopes up.”
“Don’t you mean, he shouldn’t get his?”
Callie and Aviva become very uncomfortable as I gaze at the side of Nico’s face. “Whoa, that’s harsh.”
He shrugs. “Just telling the truth. You don’t do relationships, and now you’re stringing my best friend—who is dealing with kid stuff—along. I feel like you need to walk away because he won’t.”
Aviva moves her hand onto his forearm. “Nico,” she warns, but I hold up my hand.
“No, please. Tell me how you really feel, Nico,” I say with more sass than needed, but shit, he’s offended me. “Because really, you don’t know me, so I feel I should know what you’re thinking so I can correct your thoughts.”
He blows out a breath, and when his eyes meet mine in the rearview mirror, his gaze is stone-cold. Wait, I thought he liked me? “I have known you for over a year now, and in that time, you have dated countless men and haven’t settled down. My best friend has been through the wringer with his baby momma and is now taking full custody of his daughter. The last thing he needs is someone who just plays with his heart.”
I blink. “Who says I want to play with his heart? I like him, Nico.”
“Not enough to leave a note or stay the night, though.”
“Wow,” I sing, shaking my head. “I’ve already explained this to Aviva, but—”
“But nothing. You had no intention of staying. You don’t sleep at men’s houses.”
Aviva hides her face as I glare. I can’t believe she told him that. “That may not be true anymore.”
“Then why didn’t you stay? Do you plan on staying?”
I don’t answer him because I don’t know. I’m very particular about my bed. About someone touching me when I sleep. Shit. Do I plan on staying with him or him with me? Why am I questioning this now? Stupid Nico. “I don’t have to answer that,” I say very firmly. “And I’d appreciate it if you don’t just assume things about me. I told my mom about him. Obviously I’m serious about him.”
Aviva’s eyes widen as she looks back at me. “You told your mom?”
“Yeah, I told her to stop setting me up because I’m exploring this.”
“You can explore all you want, but if you have no plans to make something of it, walk away,” Nico snaps, and I hold out my hands in confusion.
“Why are you attacking me right now? It’s very new between Kirby and me. Give us a second.”
“For real, Nico. Back off. They’re grown-ups,” Aviva says finally.
“Wow, thanks,” I say dryly, and she rolls her eyes.
“True. But Kirby has never had anyone on his side. I’m just looking out for my best friend. I don’t want anyone hurting him,” he says then, and I know he’s coming from a good place. A loving place. The same place I would be in if it were Aviva. But I still don’t like that he judges me like that, even though I’m glad he and Kirby are now best friends like Aviva and me.
“I get that I haven’t had the best track record, and I don’t want to get ahead of myself, but honestly, Nico, I truly like Kirby, and this could be something. I know I may not know how to be in a relationship and I know he has a lot going on, but I want to learn. I want more.
I do. I want what you two have.”
Aviva grins while Callie squeezes my forearm, but Nico isn’t convinced. “Well, I hope you aren’t blinded by what Aviva and I have and wanting that when you’re not capable of it. Some people just aren’t meant to be in relationships.”
My first instinct is to cuss him out, but Aviva is right there. “That’s enough. Don’t talk to my best friend like that. I get that you are worried for Kirby and Celeste, but like I said, he’s a big boy.”
“For real, Nico. Jay is a wonderful person,” Callie says confidently.
“I don’t doubt that at all. I just don’t think she is a relationship person,” he says simply and with no cares in the world. How can he be so cold?
“I think she is,” Callie says then, but I can’t even appreciate her.
“Nico, I think you’re truly being unfair. I may never have been in a monogamous relationship with a man, but I have been in one with Aviva and Callie. I have loved and been there for them for almost my whole life.” Callie grins at me as Aviva nods. “If I remember correctly, you weren’t a relationship person before Aviva either,” I point out. “You wanted to be, but no one was ever enough until Aviva. Why can’t that be the case for Kirby and me? Why are you already doubting me when it’s just starting?”
He doesn’t answer right away, and Callie shakes her head. “Don’t let him get to you. He’s in a mood ’cause I’m going to college and we have a shoot with his ex, Shelli Adler.”
“Exactly. He’s being an ass,” Aviva says, rolling her eyes. He still doesn’t answer. Instead, he just drives, his shoulders taut. I want to yell at him, I want to hate him for his words, but it’s hard to when he loves Aviva and Callie so much. When I know he’s a good man, just looking out for his friend.
I don’t want to hurt Kirby, and I don’t know if I can be the woman he deserves, that Celeste deserves. But deep inside, I want to try.
Problem is, Nico’s accusations are my fears.
I’ve always loved Nashville.
It’s a great city and very gorgeous, but I swear, I have never seen a college like Bellevue University. It like a mini town with its own shops and things for the students to do. Callie’s dorm is basically a huge mansion that holds all twenty girls on her team. Her room is spacious with a big window, and of course, we decorated it to the nines with all kinds of boho stuff and pictures of us together. I may have gone overboard on decorating, but I wanted to make her room a home away from home. In my opinion, it’s incredible.
Her roommate, Chelsea Randy, is a freshman too and the tiniest little girl I’ve ever seen. I thought Callie was short, but this girl is an itty-bitty pack of muscles with bright blond hair and dazzling green eyes. Callie has been super excited to meet her because they’ve been in contact with each other since they learned they would be roommates. They have actually become really good friends. I like Chelsea; she’s driven and funny. I hope she becomes what Aviva is to me, a lifelong soul sister.
After setting up the room in a timely matter, we head to the sports complex. Nico is already there since he agreed to do a goalie clinic with the Bellevue Bullies’ hockey team. He’s been there most of the day, which is good because we wanted to make sure Callie’s room was perfection. He gets bored easily, and Aviva didn’t want him rushing us. I decided to stay with Callie when it was time to head to the gym, while Aviva went back to the hotel for a nap. Pregnancy is kicking her sweet ass. Callie has her parents’ introduction with the gymnastics team tonight, and while I could just wait till then to watch and hang with her, I don’t want to lose any time with her.
I’m going to miss her like crazy.
“So, excited to date?” I joke, and she grins, tucking her hands in the pockets of her team jacket. It’s hot as shit, but she loves her Bellevue jacket.
“I don’t know. With training and school, I don’t want to ruin what I’ve got. I mean, if I meet someone, then it’s cool. But I won’t be going out of my way.”
“Smart, but have fun.”
“I will,” she agrees as we walk through the beautiful park area. This campus is amazing, and if I had known about this school, I would have come here. “I can’t believe I’m here.”
“It’s pretty damn awesome.”
“Yeah,” she says softly, and I can tell she’s nervous. It’s always been her, Aviva, and me. Now it’s about to be only her.
“You can call me anytime.” She nods as she smiles. “I will always be there for you.”
“I know.”
“And no matter what, I’ve got your back.”
“I know you do,” she says, wrapping her arms around my arm. “I just worry about Aviva.”
“I’ve got her,” I promise, but she isn’t convinced.
“You’re about to go down the road of love,” she sings sweetly. “You’re going to be so involved with Kirby and Celeste—”
“You two are my family. I love you—”
“But this is the chance for you to start your own family,” she interjects. “This is what Nico is afraid of. I don’t think you realize what could be in your future, or maybe you’re ignoring it.”
I gawk at her. “Who are you?”
“The product of my sister and my aunt Jaylin,” she says proudly, her face bright and so full of life. “I want you to be happy. For the longest time, I thought your career made you happy, but lately, I’ve noticed you need more.”
How does an eighteen-year-old know more about me than me?
“I want more,” I admit, leaning into her. And apparently, I’m all about spewing my feelings today. “I feel sometimes like Aviva has replaced me with Nico.”
She shakes her head gently. “She didn’t. She added. Just as you could add someone to your life.”
We share a smile as her words wiggle into my soul. She’s right. I’ve fought so hard just to be me, to be successful, and now…now, I want more. While I have fears that I could hurt Kirby, I also carry the fear he could hurt me. I could not be enough, which I suspect is why I have never put myself out there.
I go to agree with her just as my phone dings with a text. I pull it out of my back pocket to see the text is from Kirby. When I open it, it’s a picture of my Three Musketeers and Celeste on the beach.
As much as they get on my nerves, they’re good with Celeste. Hope you’re having fun. I can’t wait for you to get back.
My face breaks into a grin as Callie shakes her head. “Man, those dudes are hot.”
I nod. “That they are, my sweet girl. I really like D’Artagnan.”
She nods. “Owen is so, so, so hot. But Evan, man…he’s all silent and sexy.”
“Yeah, I like him a lot. They’re good kids.”
“Hot.”
“Yes, hot,” I agree as I shake my head at her. “Too bad Nico wouldn’t let you have fun.”
She shrugs. “Eh, I’m okay with it. He deals with enough, and when he’s passionate about something, it’s hard to get him off it.”
“I’ve noticed,” I deadpan as she looks up at me.
“He didn’t mean it to be ugly. He’s just truly concerned for Kirby,” she says protectively.
“I know,” I reply. “He just had me in my feelings.”
“He does that. He has no filter whatsoever.”
“That he doesn’t,” I agree as we head to the sports complex. “But it’s okay. He loves you two. That’s all that matters to me.”
“He does,” she says softly, and it’s like she has more to say. “Just don’t hate him, okay? He’s a great guy, and he only loves hard.”
I gaze into her eyes. “I know, Callie. I promise.”
“I know he can be difficult to deal with. He’s just…” Her words trail off, and I wrap her up in my arms.
“It’s fine,” I promise. “I’m a big girl. I’ve been called everything under the moon and have been doubted my whole life. All his words did was fuel me to prove him wrong. Don’t worry.”
She swallows hard as she nods. “I’m the same wa
y. You gifted me that trait.”
My heart sings. “And I couldn’t be prouder.”
She wraps her arms around me, and we walk, holding each other. Sometimes I forget who I have watching me and looking up to me. I may be terrified of Kirby, of the feelings I have for him, but knowing that not only is Callie watching but Celeste, there is only one thing I can do.
I need to find my happiness so they know they can find theirs.
Chapter Sixteen
Kirby
* * *
Jean moves through the kitchen, cleaning up after CC as I stand there like a bump on a log. CC giggles and slaps the tray of her high chair as Jean makes a face at her while she does the dishes. She’s very quick, very efficient, and somehow, she keeps CC engaged as she cleans. Jean’s hair is up in a high bun, and she’s wearing a flowy green baseball tee and some fitted pants. As always, that smile of hers is unstoppable. With the preseason about the start, we’ve upped her hours so CC can get used to being with just her. She still cries for me, which, if I’m honest, makes me feel good. But then I also feel like shit, because I’m unsure how she’ll handle me being gone for days and weeks at a time. It makes me nervous, but Jean is very confident everything will work out.
While this arrangement may work out, the custody issue with Lilly is a whole other ball game. She didn’t show up for court this morning like I knew she wouldn’t, and I am so fucking annoyed I could spit. I tried calling her, but she ignored my call. Willa told me not to try to contact her, to let it be, but I’m so mad. I think that’s why Jean is so diligent about getting everything done before she heads out. To ease my worries and my load.
She’s a damn good girl.
“You got plans this afternoon?”
She beams over at me and nods. “I do. I’m going to go see my dad.”
“That’s nice. He’s over at West Side?” It’s a retirement home the IceCats have visited before.
“Yeah. His mind is gone, real bad dementia. He doesn’t remember me at all, so I only go once a month so I don’t overwhelm him.”