I Just Wanna Be Yours

by Lucinda John

  “You’re one sorry ass nigga I swear! I’m sick of this shit.” She cried, stomping out of the bathroom.

  “DAMN!” I yelled.

  For the first time in my life, I was stuck. I always denied everything I did, but at this very moment, I wanted to come clean about everything. I wanted to get all this shit over with so I could sleep well at night knowing I didn’t have any secrets to work my ass off trying to hide. When I walked into our bedroom, I spotted Tyreema curled up in a fetal position crying her little heart out.

  “OH GOD, WHY ME?” She cried out in pain, causing me to cringe.

  I felt like shit knowing I was the one behind her pain. I couldn’t tell her about Jordynn, Jerry, Neki, or her unborn baby. Tyreema was suffering too much tonight, and dropping this big bomb on her would scar her for good. That was something I wasn’t trying to do.

  Grabbing a pair of boxers, I pulled them on then jumped in bed behind Tyreema. At first, she kept pushing me off until she finally relaxed in my embrace. The smell of her Pink Friday perfume tickled my nostrils, as I ran my fingers up and down her bare thigh. Her cries were now silent, but I could still feel her tears running down my arms. I hated myself for this but couldn’t let her go. As selfish as it sounded, I would rather hurt her until I was capable of being the man she needed me to be instead of watching her be happy with the next nigga.

  Chapter 8

  Tyreema

  “Uhhhhhhhhh.” I heaved, as I buried my head in the toilet.

  This pregnancy was so far worse than my first one. From the moment I confirmed I was pregnant, everything I ate or smelled made me sick to my stomach. I got constant headaches and cried over everything. These hormones were nothing to play with, and I was only at the beginning stages, ready to get this whole thing over with.

  “Here, drink this.” Jerecho said, passing me a cup of ginger ale.

  For the past couple of days, he had held me captive in this house on some kissing ass type shit. I knew in my heart he was with another bitch the other night, but being blinded by his love had me wanting to move past the bullshit. I was carrying his baby, and we were about to get married; overall, I was content. I knew it was going to be a challenge getting Jerecho to change his ways, so for now, I was being patient, anticipating the day he would lay his player’s card to rest.

  I must have gulped down the ginger ale too fast, because once I was done, my head went right into the toilet bowl. When I finished, Jerecho walked me over to the sink to rinse my mouth out and wash my face, then he carried me back into our bed. The California king-sized bed, along with my body pillow had become my best friends. All I wanted to do was lay comfortably with my body pillow and sleep.

  “If you need my moms to keep Tyreek for an extra day, she can.” Jerecho said, taking his place next to me.

  “Nah, it’s cool. I miss my baby.” I replied, ready to see my son. I didn’t want him to think that I was neglecting him for the new baby.

  “You sure, because Tyreek’s a handful, and I don’t need you tryna take care of him by yourself while you in here being all sick and shit.”

  “You not going to be here?” I asked.

  “Ma, you know I got moves to make. I’m trying to get us into this new house, and fuck, money ain’t growing off trees.” He replied.

  “I got some money saved up.” I offered.

  “Nah, I ain’t even rocking like that. I’m not trying to take money from my girl to take care of shit a man is supposed to do.” He said.

  “Naria was talking to me about designing book covers and websites for different authors. I was thinking about looking into that.”

  “Why Ty? You pregnant and shit; you don’t need to be doing too much.” He sucked his teeth.

  “I talked to this graphic designer, and her prices are starting at two hundred for book covers and three hundred for the websites. I could really be out here banking on my own business-type level. I saw a few of the book covers, and baby, I can do that plus more.” I excitedly said.

  “What about your job now?” He asked.

  “I was thinking about doing both until my at-home business started popping.” I replied.

  “See, now you’re doing too much. Nah man, I don’t need you stressing out my seed.”

  “Come on, Jerecho.” I whined.

  “No man; we’ll revisit this conversation after you give birth or some shit.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes, really. I don’t want to talk about this no more. I’m going to ask Ma to keep Tyreek for another day, because I got moves that need to be made, iight?”

  “I guess.” I pouted.

  “Tuck that lip in, Ma. I’m going to always make sure we straight.”

  “That’s not the point; I want a career, not a job.” I argued.

  “Your career is being a mother to my two kids and treating your husband good.” He smiled.

  “What if my husband ain’t acting right?”

  “Here you go always wanting to start shit.” He sucked his teeth before storming towards the bathroom.

  Jerecho always had the bad habit of leaving the bathroom open while he peed so I was able to hear him as he handled his business. Once he finished, I heard the water running and ringing at the same time. While the water ran, he talked on the phone making it hard for me to eavesdrop. When he was done, he walked into the room, slipped his feet into his thot sandals, and grabbed his basketball cap.

  “Where you going?” I asked, looking at him up and down.

  He looked too casual dressed in his black baller shorts, white V-neck, and black Jordan slides with the matching black Jordan socks, to be heading to work. The only place a nigga would go dressed like that was tricking, which was why I was looking at his ass all crazy.

  “I’m heading to my ma’s house to help her with some shit, then I’mma chill with Nigel them on the block.”

  “Mmmhmm, well just don’t go over there eating no more damn ice cream. Come back with more stains in ya pants, and this time, I won’t be so understanding.” I snapped.

  “Why you always wanna be stuck in the past and shit?”

  “Just don’t try me, Jerecho.”

  “I won’t, baby. Now, get some rest so my baby won’t come out looking all ugly and shit.” He smirked, before kissing me on the lips.

  “If the baby is ugly, it’ll be because of your genes.” I joked.

  “You sleep. You know you want our bay to have this nice hair and these green eyes.” He winked at me.

  “Green-eyed monster.”

  “You love this monster dick, though.” He grabbed his crotch.

  “Sometimes.” I replied.

  “Yeah ok, check in later.”

  “Bring me a Midway sub.”

  “Yeah.” He yelled over his shoulder before walking out of the door.

  Once he was gone, I replayed season ten of Law and Order: SVU and cuddled up with my body pillow.

  The growling of my stomach woke me out of my deep slumber. Reaching for my phone, I realized it was a quarter till midnight. Unlocking my screen, I tapped on Jerecho’s name and called only to be sent to voicemail. After calling five more times and getting nothing but the voicemail, I decided to search for something to eat.

  “Ughhhhhhh!” I yelled, as I rummaged through the cabinet for something to satisfy my cravings.

  After searching high and low and coming up with nothing, I decided to drive to the corner store that sold the best subs in town. The store was 24/7 and in the hood, but I figured I would just go in and out then come straight home. I contemplated calling Naria to join me for the ride, but then I remembered she was really tired from completing five prom dresses in one day.

  Pulling a pair of sweats over my bare ass. I grabbed a Cami, and my sweater, and threw them both on. Picking up my keys and wallet, I made my way to the car. “Hey There” kept me company as I made my way to the hood for the best subs in town.

  When I arrived,
there wasn’t anything out of place. The normal dope boys were on the block minding their business while the street walkers looked for their next John for the night. Parking my car as close to the door as I possibly could, I made sure my mace, knife, money, and phone were in my pocket before tucking my purse underneath my seat.

  Making my way in the store, I headed straight to the back where the man was preparing the subs. My mouth watered as the smell of the Philly cheesesteaks filled my nostrils. I knew exactly how I wanted my sub made, and I couldn’t wait to sink my teeth into the gooey cheesy mess I was a few minutes from devouring.

  “Hey beautiful, what are you having?” The cook asked.

  “I want a foot long Philly Cheesesteak sub on white bread. I want everything on it, extra cheese, mayo on the bread, lettuce, and tomatoes please.” I smiled envisioning myself fucking this sub up.

  I watched in awe as he created my sub to perfection. He printed out my ticket with the price on it and handed me my bag. On my way to the counter, I grabbed a big container of Ginger Ale, some Toms, and some Salt and Vinegar chips.

  “Is that all for you?” The cashier asked, as he rung up my items with a smile on his face.

  “Yes, thank you.” I replied.

  “Ok, that’ll be twenty-three dollars and fifty-two cents.”

  Digging in my pocket, I pulled out a twenty and a five-dollar bill then handed it to him. When he gave me my change, I slipped it in the tip jar and made my way to my car. My mind was so focused on my sub that I paid no attention to my surroundings as I made my way to my car.

  “Ouch!” I yelled, as I felt something hit me from the back.

  “Pull her ass back to where the dumpsters at.” I heard a muffled voice say. I couldn’t make out if the voice belonged to a woman or a man, because I was such in a daze.

  “Stop!” I yelled out, as I felt my body being dragged against the pavement.

  “Shut this voice up.” I heard the muffled voice say again.

  I felt a piece a tape placed over my mouth and a blindfold cover my face. Fear rushed through my body as I began to kick and scream not wanting to be taken against my will. My body came to a stop, and I immediately felt blows being delivered to every part of my body. The amounts of kicks and punches I was receiving led me to believe it had to be at least three people jumping me.

  “Mmmmmm,” I moaned in pain as I experienced a terrible beating. Tears filled my eyes as my left hand came up to my belly trying my hardest to protect my unborn. “Uhhhhh.” I groaned as one of the intruders stomped on my wrist.

  It was as if a lightbulb went off in my head because I reached into my pocket with my left hand to grab my mace. Clutching the small can in my hand, I waited for the perfect opportunity and started to spray it in the air. When I heard a muffled scream, I reached into my pocket for my knife and held it tight in my hand.

  “This bitch maced me.” The muffled voice ranted.

  “Go in her pockets and grab everything, money, wallet, keys everything.” The other muffled voice said.

  The introducers must have been wearing some type of voice-altering masks because I couldn’t make out any of their voices. Just as one of my attackers reached in my pockets, I wildly swung my knife connecting with flesh.

  “She cut me.” I heard.

  “Knock this bitch out now.” The other voice said.

  God, please protect me and my unborn….

  * * *

  Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

  The sounds of beeping monitors woke me up out of my sleep. My body was very sore as I tried to move around. I tried to use my hands to help me sit up but the pain that shot through my wrist caused me to cry out in pain.

  “Yo, Ma, you good?” A stranger sitting next to me asked.

  I was at a loss for words as I stared into the dark brown eyes of this fine specimen. He had a deep dark chocolate skin complexion that was real smooth and delicate. His waves were deep and spun across his neatly cut hair with perfection. His perfect beard was trimmed and lined up against his handsome face. Although he was sitting down, he looked as if he stood about 6’1 or 6’2. All in all, this stranger had me forgetting about the pain in my wrist and interested in who he was and what he was doing with me at the hospital.

  “You straight?” He asked again, looking at me with his pretty eyes filled with concern.

  “Yes. What happened? What are you doing here?”

  “I found you badly beaten by the dumpsters next to the corner store, and I brought you in. You didn’t have a phone, wallet, or nothing, so I ain’t know who to call to meet up with you, so I decided to chill witcha until you woke up and was able to get somebody to come down here with you.” His deep voice replied giving me chills.

  “OH MY GOD, MY BABY.” I brought my hand to my stomach remembering the vicious attack I received. “Is my baby, ok?” I asked looking over at him for confirmation.

  The look on his face told me the bad news before his mouth could. I couldn’t do anything but cry my heart out. I knew I wasn’t ready for another kid at this point, especially with the issues me and Jerecho were still having, but I’d grown attached to my unborn. The thought of being a mother again was scary, but the end result where I would hold my sweet innocent baby in my arms made it worth it all.

  “No! No! No!” I cried, feeling worse than the beating I actually received. A part of me was gone. My baby was gone.

  “Damn, Ma, I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to be in your business or anything, but the only way the nurses were allowing me to stay here with you is if I lied and told them I was your husband. I wasn’t expecting for the doctor to come in and drop that news on me.” He explained.

  “It’s ok; thank you for helping me.” I sobbed. “OH GOD WHY ME???!”

  “It’s gonna be good. You got somebody you want me to call?” He asked.

  “Yes, my fiancé. Can I borrow your phone?” I asked still choked up. I couldn’t believe it my baby was gone, I didn’t even get a chance to feel him or her kick and now it was all over.

  “Yes.” He replied, pulling his iPhone from his waist, unlocking it, then handing it to me.

  “Thank you.” I replied as I retrieved the phone and typed in Jerecho’s number.

  My first call went straight to the voicemail. Frustrated, I hung up and called him six more times only to get the voicemail again. Typical Jerecho to be in some pussy while I had to suffer the loss of our baby alone. On the seventh time, I decided to leave him a voicemail explaining to him what happened and where he could find me.

  When I hung up the phone, the handsome stranger looked at me with a look of confusion on his face. I could tell he was wondering why my fiancé wasn’t answering my calls let alone worried about my whereabouts. He looked as if he wanted to speak on the matter but decided to bite his tongue instead.

  “Do you have anyone else you want to call?” He asked. “I really don’t feel right leaving you here alone.”

  The way he spoke with such concern in his voice had me in awe. Here I was in the hospital with a stranger who I felt like cared about me more than the man I loved.

  “Yes, my best friend.” I replied, handing him his phone so he could unlock it for me again.

  “Hello?” Naria answered the phone with sleep still evident in her voice.

  “Naria, it’s me.” I replied

  “Tyreema?” She asked.

  “Yes.” I cried.

  “Ty, what happened? Why are you calling me from an unknown number? Where you at? What the fuck did Jerecho do? Where the fuck are my keys?” She asked all in one breath.

  “I’m in the hospital.” I sobbed.

  “THE HOSPITAL?! FOR WHAT?!!!” She yelled into the phone.

  “I lost the baby Naria.”

  “Oh my God, no. Oh, Ty. Boogie, I am so sorry. I’m on my way, baby, what happened? Did you talk to the doctors yet?”

  “I got jumped and robbed.”

  “You got what?!!!! WHAT!!! TY b
aby, SPEAK UP BOO! I don’t think I’m hearing you right.” She huffed.

  “I woke up in the middle of the night hungry and decided to get a sub. On my way out of the store, I got rushed. They beat me and took my keys, money, and phone.” I explained.

  “Where was Jerecho? Why were you out this late alone?”

  “Jerecho left; he’s not even answering my calls.”

  “Why didn’t you call me?” She asked.

  “I didn’t want to bother you. When we talked, you were so exhausted from those prom dresses you were finishing up, I didn’t want to bother you.” I replied.

  “Come on, Ty. You know it wouldn’t have been a bother. I would have gotten my ass up and ate a sloppy ass sub with you. Who’s at the hospital with you now?” She asked.

  “This guy whose phone I’m using. He’s sitting here with me until someone comes.”

  “Tell him to stay put; I’m on my way.” She said, before hanging up the phone.

  “Thank you; she’s coming.” I said handing him his phone back.

  “Cool, I’ll sit here until she comes.” He replied.

  “You don’t have to do that; she like fifteen minutes away.”

  “Nah, I’ll wait.” He firmly replied.

  “Thank you; I didn’t even catch your name.”

  “Saire.”

  “Saire, that’s a nice name. Unique.”

  “Thank you, and so is yours, Tyreema.” He smiled.

  The way my name rolled off the tip of his tongue had me feeling antsy. His smile was everything, with perfectly white, straight teeth. While he studied his phone, I took the time to properly look him over. The way his body was cut looked as if he could pass for a professional football player. He was dressed in a pair of black slacks, a white dress shirt with the top few buttons undone, and a pair of perfectly shined black dress shoes with red bottoms on his feet. His black blazer laid on the back of his chair as he lounged in it looking uncomfortable.

  If it wasn’t for all the tattoos that peaked through his clothes, I would have thought he was a lawyer. He didn’t give off the vibe as the everyday typical street nigga, so I knew he held an important job occupation. I was in a deep trance studying my night and shining armor when Naria burst through the door wearing a Pink sweatsuit and a head scarf wrapped around her head.