by Stacy M Wray
I know they’re up to their eyeballs in debt. Knowing that they could possibly lose her and still be strapped with all of the bills nearly brings me to my knees. Money seems so unimportant compared to one’s life, but to have to deal with the loss of both sounds tragic. I know Rex would be happy about my decision.
So I figure I have enough time to explain things to Trey, maybe being gone two days at the most. I don’t know what’s going to happen with us, but I’m hoping it will all work out. I’ve got a lot to share with him and I hope he will be understanding as to why I didn’t tell him sooner.
After making my morning coffee, I decide I need to call Wade and fill him in, hoping he answers my call knowing Trey’s number will show up on his screen.
He does answer though, but I can tell he’s wondering if he should have. “This is Wade,” he says.
“Hey, it’s me.”
“Addie? Why aren’t you on your phone?” he asks me.
I laugh a little. “It’s a long story.” I hesitate and finally say, “They took Rex off of his life support two days ago, and we buried him yesterday.”
He digests all of what I just told him and said, “I’m so sorry, Addie. I wish I could have been there for you.”
“I know you do, Wade, but I made my peace quite some time ago. I’m okay.”
“Is Trey there with you?” he asks, thinking nothing of it.
“Well, that’s the thing…Trey doesn’t know yet.” I wince as I tell him this, knowing how horrible it sounds.
“What do you mean? You haven’t told him about Rex yet? Where does he think you are?” He is astonished, to say the least.
“I ended up leaving him a note, explaining I would tell him everything when I got back. Oh, Wade… I got the dates mixed up and didn’t realize they were taking him off as soon as they did. I had to rush home in the middle of the night.”
Knowing he can hear the anguish in my voice, he softens his response. “Okay, so you haven’t spoken to him at all?” He’s not grasping everything and I know I’m doing a poor job of explaining.
“I accidently grabbed his phone by mistake when I left and he has mine. He can’t get into my phone since he doesn’t know the password. It’s just as well though, I can’t tell him something like this over the phone. I’m heading back there today to tell him everything.” All of a sudden I realize I can’t be back there quick enough, and I get up and dump the rest of my coffee into the sink, heading upstairs to pack.
“I’m sure it will be okay, Addie. I have a feeling you guys will get through this. Please be careful driving.”
“I will, Wade. I’ll keep you posted, but right now I need to get on the road.”
“Be safe.”
“I will. Talk soon.” We end our call and I jump in the shower as soon as I get most packing finished.
*****
The whole drive back has my stomach twisted in knots since going two days, now three, with no communication has been dreadful, especially not knowing what he’s thinking of the note I left.
I know I handled it all poorly, and I need to make it up to him. I pray that he’ll understand.
This has turned into one of the longest three and a half hour drives of my life. I have just come upon Middlebury and know it won’t be long now. I have been white-knuckling it all the way here and mentally tell myself to relax.
Finally, I arrive in Burlington and find myself driving the familiar path to his house. I give myself a pep talk and am feeling better by the time I arrive.
When I get to his house, I notice an unfamiliar car in the drive, along with Trey’s truck.
My gut clenches and I don’t know what to make of this. I slowly get out of my car and walk up the front porch steps. I take a deep breath and walk in unannounced, immediately wishing I hadn’t.
What I see makes me sick to my stomach – Amanda has her arms wrapped around him and her back is to me. They look like they are or have been kissing. She whips her head around with a smug look on her face, and I see nothing but shock and confusion on Trey’s.
The memories of my junior year in high school come flooding back as I see them together. Fury enters my body instantaneously and I shake my head, saying with as much disgust as I can muster, “I should’ve known.” I turn to leave, a ball of emotions. But before I do, I yank my necklace from around my neck in one swift motion and throw it on the floor. I can’t get out of there fast enough. Running to my car, I whip out and head down the drive so fast that I don’t even notice Trey running after my car. I still have a hard time looking in my rearview mirror.
*****
No tears have fallen. I might just be in shock but I’m not sure. I can’t fall apart right now anyway, not on the road. I make the short trip to Northfield since it makes no sense to drive all the way back to Connecticut in the state I’m in. I can regroup and then move on.
I’m so grateful to see my mom’s car in the driveway – I don’t care how old I get, she is the one person who can comfort me with just a look, not to mention her words.
I can tell she’s extremely surprised to see me as I walk in the house, and I know she puts two and two together as soon as she sees my face. Taking me in her arms, she asks, “It didn’t go as we’d hoped?”
The anguish pours down my face in liquid form, soaking my mom’s shoulder. I just sob as she holds me, whispering words of warmth.
I break our hold when I feel like I can speak. She leads me to the couch and we sit, facing each other. She still has ahold of my hands and I tell her, “I never got a chance to explain anything. He was in Amanda’s arms when I walked in, and it looked like they had been kissing.”
My mom’s eyes widen in shock. “But why would he be with her? I clearly saw the love that man had for you when he was here whisking you away.”
Shaking my head and desperately trying to hold back the new tears that are forming, I reply, “I don’t know, Mom, but I know what I saw. How could he do that to me? He knows how I feel about her. Maybe there has been something going on this whole time, and I was just too stupid to believe him when he said there wasn’t.”
“You don’t really believe that, do you, Addie? Are you positive you saw correctly?”
I think about this for a moment. I know I should have confronted them, but I couldn’t do it with her there. She just has a way of obliterating my confidence with just a sneer and her ability to act like I don’t even exist is mind-blowing. I shrug in answer to my mom. I really don’t know what I saw for sure, but I do know I need some time to think long and hard about if there really is any future for Trey and I.
She remains quiet and lets me collect myself before asking quietly, “What are you going to do, Addie?”
I look at her while I figure it out inside my head first. “I’m going to stay for one of your awesome dinners. Then tomorrow morning I’m driving myself back home, and I’m going to pick up the pieces of my life. I need to get my life back on track.”
She looks at me, pride showing through her eyes. “Adelyn Winters, you have been through so much heartache in your short life that I wouldn’t wish upon anyone. You are one of the strongest people I know and I’m so proud of you, sweetheart.” Tears are now streaming down her face and I find myself comforting her. What a pair we are.
Just then I hear my dad come in through the back door. “Liz? Is that Addie’s car in the driveway?”
We both try to wipe our tears quickly, knowing Dad will come unglued when he finds out the source.
chapter twenty-three
LIZ
Hating to see Addie pull out of our driveway, I cling to Dutch, knowing he feels the same way. I secretly wish she would move closer to us. Now that Rex has passed, there’s nothing to keep her in Connecticut. I know it’s just my selfish thinking, but I also feel like she needs us too.
We go inside and we’re both quiet, extremely disappointed in the actions that Trey has displayed. Dutch may be ready to write him off, but there is a inkling deep inside me that tell
s me there’s more to this than meets the eye – call it mother’s intuition.
Knowing those two belong together with every fiber of my being, I decide to see what I can’t do to maybe move things in the right direction. I have no idea how, but I can’t give up on those two - I just won’t.
*****
Being that it’s Tuesday, Dutch and I load up the merchandise we’ll be selling at the farmer’s market today in the village common. It’s a lot of work setting up and tearing down, but we’ve done it for so long now that it’s not as daunting as it seems.
I’ve always enjoyed seeing all of my friends on Tuesday afternoons. Not only do you get to sell your products, but it’s a great way to catch up with what’s going on, a socializing of sorts that I always look forward to.
Sitting in my chair underneath the tent, I see Luke Masterson across the way setting up his family’s makeshift store. It’s been a couple of weeks since Addie left. I spoke with her a few days ago, and she and Trey still haven’t talked. Those two are both so stubborn. I know deep down Addie doesn’t think Trey wants to be with Amanda. We both know there’s an explanation as to what she saw. But Trey still doesn’t know about Rex and the whole reason Addie left Burlington that night. The gears are grinding in my brain, and I casually tell Dutch that I’m going to browse around.
None the wiser, he tells me to enjoy myself and that he’ll hold down the fort.
I actually do go around to all of the different booths, saying hello to those I haven’t seen in a while. I even purchase a few things along the way. I know Dutch will tease me about this when I return. He knows I always come back with something.
Then I just so happen to come across the Masterson tent. Thankfully, Luke is by himself and doesn’t have a lot of people hanging around.
“Good afternoon, Luke. It’s been a while since I’ve seen you here.”
He smiles at me, displaying that Masterson charm, and says, “It’s nice to see you again, Mrs. Winters. We don’t get here consistently as we’d like, I’m afraid.” I take in his good looks and wonder how this man hasn’t been snatched up yet.
“Please, call me Liz.” He nods politely. I gather up all the gumption I can and say, “It’s a shame what happened between Trey and Addie.”
He looks a little uncomfortable and replies, “Yes, it is.”
Not letting his comfort level be a deterrent, I continue, “I have to say we were all shocked when he ended up with Amanda.” I know I’m being meddlesome, but that’s not going to stop me in the name of love.
Now his eyes get big and he’s got a twinkle in them. “Trey’s not with Amanda, ma’am. I believe they had a falling out of sorts.”
I’m excited by his words but don’t want to let it show. “The fact he was with her in the first place is surprising, that’s all,” I say, trying to sound innocent.
Luke looks somewhat uncomfortable again and hesitantly divulges, “He was really tore up when he found out Addie was married. I’m not making excuses for him, but it’s understandable.”
Now it’s my turn to be shocked. “I didn’t realize he knew about that. How did he find out? Addie wanted to tell him herself.” I should be ashamed of myself, fishing for information this way, but I don’t care. I only have my daughter’s happiness in mind.
“He found out the hard way, ma’am, He drove to the hospital where Addie was and discovered it himself.”
Oh my! Quickly trying to gather myself after he dropped that bomb, I add, “Luke, her husband had been on life support for a year after a horrific accident, but the marriage was over before that accident took place, just not legally. Addie only stayed by his side out of respect for his family. They took him off the life support the day Addie fled from Trey’s and he has since passed. Addie wasn’t trying to trick or lie to Trey; they just hadn’t spent enough time together yet for her to tell him everything…that was her only crime. She loves him with all of her heart. You do with that information as you will.” I could tell he was shocked by my words, letting it all sink in.
Before I turn to leave, the corners of his mouth slowly turn up and he politely says, “Thank you, Liz. It’s been a pleasure.”
I smile deviously at him and state, “No, dear, the pleasure was all mine.”
I tell him to give his family my regards and make my way back to our booth, extremely pleased with myself. I’ve planted the seed and now all we can do is wait.
chapter twenty-four
TREY
It’s been two weeks now and I have no idea what to make of our situation. Addie and I have the worst timing of any two people alive. It certainly couldn’t have been worse the day she walked in on Amanda and me, not that there was anything to walk in on.
I hadn’t felt like lying around all day, so I drove over to the worksite in Shelburne to go over things. I liked walking around and making inspections in the stillness that surrounded me, without the rest of the crew there.
When I got home, I recognized Amanda’s car in my drive. This was turning out to be a shitty day after a nice start. After what happened the other night at her place, it was the last thing I wanted to rehash.
I spot her on the porch and her presence instantly irritated the hell out of me, and I had no intention of letting on otherwise.
“What do you want, Amanda?” I asked her, coming up the walk.
“I’m here to give you a chance to apologize so we can move past this,” she said, totally serious.
“You couldn’t have just called for an apology?” I growled at her.
“No, Trey. We need to talk about this – about us.” She looked like she was about to throw a fit.
I chuckled at that and said, “First of all, Amanda, there is no us. The other night should never have happened. I take full responsibility for letting it go too far, but you need to take responsibility for taking advantage of a drunk man.”
“I don’t want an apology for that, Trey. I want an apology for you calling me Addie. That really hurt.”
I was getting pissed off. “If you hadn’t have tried to seduce me from the moment you walked into Smitty’s, none of this would have happened. Don’t try to deny you had that all planned out, Amanda. Don’t insult my intelligence like that.” I walked around her and into my house. She followed.
“I’m tired of waiting for you, Trey, so I thought I would make the first move,” she said.
“Amanda, you could make ten moves and it wouldn’t make any difference. It’s not going to happen,” I told her, running my hand through my hair in exasperation.
“What happened the other night tells me differently,” she said with a smug smile forming.
“That night was nothing but drunk lust and you know it - nothing long term would ever come out of that. I made a bad decision. End of story.”
I was in the kitchen, trying to busy myself with making a sandwich and she just wouldn’t let up. When I turned to get the bread, she wrapped her arms around me and tried to kiss me at the exact moment Addie decided to make an appearance. Un-fucking-believable!
It took me a moment to realize what was going on, and when I tried to run after her, Amanda did everything in her power to slow me down. I was fuming by the time I made it outside, but Addie was already plowing down the drive in her car.
In that moment I was so pissed off at Amanda that I forgot just how pissed off I had been at Addie.
Two weeks I’ve done nothing but think about how I need to rectify our situation. I’ve done nothing but work, eat and sleep – and think about Addie. I miss her so much. That four days she was here with me was everything, but the silence she left behind is so fucking loud. I’m a better person when I’m around her, and my feelings for her haven’t changed one bit.
I just can’t seem to get around the fact that she’s married – which remains to be a huge deterrent to us moving forward. The fact that she kept that from me is something I cannot, for the love of God, wrap my head around.
But I know we need to hash all of this ou
t. I know this just by her coming back to me, but instead found Amanda here. I know deep down in my gut we should be together after all the obstacles we have overcome. Knowing Addie, she needed this time to cool off and think. It’s just that I don’t know what she’s thinking and maybe it’s time to find out.
Sitting on my back porch, I play those four days over and over in my head. I loved waking up to her, our playful conversations, and making love to that body that hasn’t left my mind after all of this time. Just as I’m making a mental picture of Addie naked in my bed, I hear a car coming down my driveway. I tense since I’m not in the mood for company, due to the fact I’ve only been home for about a half hour.
Hearing someone walk into my house tells me it must be someone I know well, hopefully. I don’t move from my chair, wondering if the well-known intruder will find me. It doesn’t take long before I hear the familiar squeak of the screen door, and I see Luke stepping onto the patio.
Surprised to see him, I say, “What the hell? You hardly ever come to see me.”
He gets a guilty look on his face and says, “Which is why I thought I should come and see you.”
Looking at the beer that’s sitting beside me, he asks, “Mind if I get one?”
Taking a long pull from the bottle, I tell him, “Nope. Help yourself.”
Before he goes back through the door, he stops and says, “You eaten yet?”
I nod and say, “Yeah, I grabbed a sandwich on the way home. You’re welcome to whatever you can find. Good luck.”
He rolls his eyes and steps inside. About ten minutes later, he comes back out with something on a paper plate and a beer.
I raise my eyebrows in question, asking him, “What the hell did you find to eat?”
“You don’t have shit, man. When was the last time you went to the grocery store?” he asks me, obviously annoyed at his lack of choices for dinner.