Always a Kicker

by Jeff Zwagerman

  The sun was behind the trees and soon would be below the horizon. The evening would be warm because of the humidity. There was a little breeze and Marty could smell freshly cut alfalfa from some farmer’s field west of town. He always liked that smell. It reminded him of summer and baseball. He glanced up at Sara Jane and began to climb the wooden steps of the bleachers.

  By the time Marty had reached the second step, Sara Jane had stripped off her top. She wasn’t wearing a bra and her nipples were erect. They looked strange to Marty who was used to the girls who frequented the bars around the military camps. Those girls had areolas of mature sexually active women, usually a half dollar or larger in size. Sara Jane’s nipples were about the size of a dime. That had a stimulating effect on Marty. He could feel the hardness between his legs. This was a girl who knew about sex but wasn’t sexually active. He would be her first. He liked that a lot.

  He pulled off his green t-shirt and loosened his belt and was down to his green skivvies buy the time he reached her. He kissed her gently and felt her lips open and their tongues brushed softly. He pulled her close and felt her firm breasts against his bare chest. He wanted her now but knew he had to give it time so he wouldn’t scare her. He laid her gently on the blanket and slowly kissed her neck and then down to her breasts. He kissed both nipples and they were excited to see him. He sucked each one into his mouth so gently it made her shutter. Marty moved down to her stomach and kissed her navel, and then he pulled the snap apart on her shorts and pulled them down over her ankles. She wasn’t wearing panties. He thought he was going to explode. Sara Jane was sighing and breathing heavily. Gradually he moved kissing her around the hips and down the sides of her legs. He lingered on the inside of her legs and could see she was wet. He inched upward and would stall just short of her hairline. He could see that she was past any objections. Sara Jane was ready. He took her in his mouth and she could only moan. She tasted fantastic, young and fresh. He licked and sucked until her back arched and then he would back down. He brought her close to orgasm three times. The last time he wiggled out of his boxers and pulled on his condom and moved up quickly. She was tight but there was no hymen. Marty was gentle but she was so wet that he was inside her immediately. Sara Jane’s eyes were wide but she didn’t stop him. He was on her thrusting with long strokes in rhythm and then they rolled over and she was riding him. She was beautiful pushing up and down completely naked. So soft and yet firm in such a young body. Marty didn’t think there could ever be anything as fulfilling as this very moment.

  Sara Jane’s eyes finally rolled back in her head and she shook with a powerful orgasm and Marty exploded at almost the same time. It lasted what seemed like days and finally she collapsed on his chest. They lay there together until it was dark. He was inside her and they didn’t move even after he got soft.

  For Marty, it was over. He had gotten exactly what he had wanted. For Sara Jane it had just begun. She was in love. At least that’s what she thought. Young girls many times fall the hardest for the first sexual experience because it is so powerful an emotion. Marty moved to get up but she just wanted to stay forever.

  “It’s almost ten and dark. We need to go. Your parents will worry and then be looking for you,” he said without any warmth in his voice.

  “I don’t care. I want to stay right here,” Sara Jane, answered.

  “That would mean big trouble for me and I don’t need that,” he barked, “You need to go home right now.”

  “Okay. But I want to see you before you leave.”

  “The bus leaves at noon. Meet me at the station at eleven,” Marty said absently.

  They got dressed and Marty ditched the condom behind the bleachers. There had apparently been countless others here before them. There were a crazy number of used rubbers. It made Marty smile.

  Lucky bastards Marty thought. Did he say that out loud? He glanced over at Sara Jane and he could see her putting on her top over those beautiful breasts. He would take that vision with him and access it frequently.

  But Marty was already moving on. There was a bus at noon tomorrow but it was going toward Minneapolis. He was going to Omaha to catch his plane and that bus left at 7:30 a.m. He would be long gone by the time she showed up to see him off.

  “You better hide that blanket until you can wash it,” Marty warned.

  “I’ll put in it the garage and wash it the next time I lay out in the sun. I wear lots of suntan oil so I’m always washing a blanket.”

  Marty smiled. “I can just see you all oiled up with some of that coconut oil. Smells good and it would be oh so tasty.”

  Sara Jane blushed but Marty couldn’t see it. It was too dark.

  “I’ll see you tomorrow then,” Sara Jane said as she came over to give him a kiss.

  Marty grabbed her by the shoulders and gave her a light kiss on the forehead.

  “Tonight was out of sight,” was all he said and then walked off into the evening air.

  Sara Jane picked up her bike she had propped beside the bleachers and rode home. Her mind was trying to process everything that just happened. It would take a long time to figure out what she was feeling.

  Marty walked back to his home for one last night and smiled. He knew exactly what he was feeling. The really good thing was that there were no witnesses. He was almost correct in that assumption.

  *****

  Sander Van Zee was helping his father in Zee’s Hospers Radio, TV and Appliance sales and repair shop. They repaired what they sold and even repaired items that had been purchased from other retailers. Zander had a knack for finding the right tube that needed replacing in both radios and televisions. He was only thirteen and had no formal training in repair work but he was a quick study and picked up a lot from his dad. His father also did plumbing heating and electrical work in the area. When he was out on a job, Zander or his mother had to watch the shop. In the summer it was Zander’s job from eight to five. On Saturday his father tried not to be out of the shop and they were closed on Sunday.

  This was Northwest Iowa and specifically Sioux County. Sioux County was mostly a Dutch and German community. There were four churches in Hospers. The two Reformed churches were the Christian and First Reformed. They were in the North part of the town and Reformers mostly lived in that section. The Catholics had a church in the southeast part of town and that’s where they mostly lived. The Presbyterians mostly lived everywhere around town. Zander always thought it was kind of strange that everyone but the Presbyterians seemed to segregate themselves on their own. It was something he thought he should check out sometime.

  The Dutch had come over from the Netherlands to escape religious persecution from the Catholics. Mostly they were reformed from the Martin Luther Protestants. Christian Reformed, First Reformed, Hope Reformed, Dutch Reformed, Netherlands Reformed, Bethel Reformed and the list went on. Reformed from what Zander didn’t really know. The Dutch settled in Iowa in two places, one being Sioux County especially Orange City and Sioux Center communities. The other was the Pella area south and east of Des Moines. Zander thought that being reformed meant that anything that was a pleasure was a sin. On Sundays families got together to visit and have dinner. They could not go fishing, hunting, swimming, boating, shopping, attend movies, watch television (unless it was a religious program). You could, however, play any kind of ball you wanted. Basketball, football, softball, baseball were encouraged. Tennis, badminton, croquet, bocce ball, skating were sometimes allowed. The Dutch liked their sports and wanted all their kids to be stars and get scholarships. Zander tried to get this straight in his mind. He even asked his parents why he could play ball but couldn’t go swimming. His parents replied that he could only do things that didn’t make others work. When he asked how going fishing made others work, he was told it was always that way and to stop asking questions. Zander didn’t really like being reformed but he decided to keep it to himself.

  It was almost five o’clock and his mother had called to tell him to go to the mar
ket and get some hamburger and bring it home for supper. Zander’s father had returned so he went over to John and Jo’s Market across the street. It was before the concept of self service had caught on in the mid-west and you told the clerks what you wanted and they got the items for you. Zander liked that. It gave him time to look the place over and find new things that he would try someday when he had some money.

  Today John was alone in the store and Zander told him he wanted two pounds of hamburger. John went back to the meat counter to weigh and package the meat. Zander noticed a cigarette display on the counter. It was the new cigarette called Larks. Zander had heard about them advertised on the radio and seen the full-page ads in the newspaper. He liked the red package and before John came back with the hamburger, Zander had a pack down the front of his pants and resting nicely in his fruit-of-the-looms. He didn’t really like stealing things but he couldn’t buy cigarettes so the only way to get them was the five-finger discount. It was the only thing he ever stole. He told John to charge the hamburger and decided to charge a package of Juicy Fruit as well. He would use the gum to mask his breath when he tried the stogies.

  After supper, Zander got on his bike and rode to the ball diamond. He rode his bike through the walk gate and over to the back of the concession stand. It was an old wooden structure with peeling white paint just past the third base side of the field. The local kids broke into it on a regular basis. There was an old refrigerator inside his father had donated instead of giving cash. It had a chain wrapped around it with a padlock that concession workers were always in a hurry to lock up after a game and seldom got the chain tight enough. A smaller arm and hand could reach into the door shelves and usually come out with a Payday or Hersey’s Almond Chocolate bar.

  Zander always smiled when he saw the Kelvinator. It was an electric hog. He was sure that between the candy bars stolen and the electricity consumed, the stand made absolutely no money. Sometimes during a game when the refrigerator kicked on, the lights in the concession stand would go dim. His father was a smart guy. He wanted to get rid of the refrigerator that someone had traded in and he didn’t want to give any money to the city for baseball. Boom! Two things handled.

  There were two loose boards near the bottom of the stand that could be pulled over the nails and dropped to the ground leaving a small opening for a skinny kid. The nail heads had been filed down so the boards could be pushed on and off and would stay in place when the kid left. It was a great place to go and try to steal candy bars or smoke stolen packs of cigarettes, which was Zander’s goal at present.

  Zander got into the concession stand with little problem. He tried for some candy bars but the last worker had been too diligent and the chain was too tight. He reached down his pants and retrieved the Larks. He hit the filter side of the package on his wrist to pack the tobacco like he had seen the smokers at the gas station do. He opened the pack and flipped out a cigarette. He had some safety matches and lit the cigarette. He sat on a stool that he pulled from under the counter. The big wooden window that served as a counter when swung down had been locked up in place but there were cracks between the boards that allowed Zander to see out at the diamond and the bleachers.

  It was about that time Rooster showed up. Zander was afraid of him. He seemed to enjoy tormenting kids especially kids like Zander who Rooster viewed as one of the “haves”. Rooster was one of the “have not’s” which always makes for an uncomfortable co-existence. Zander decided it would be in his best interest to be quiet and stay hidden until Rooster left or it got dark.

  As it turned out, he didn’t have to wait long. He saw Sara Jane come in and climb the bleachers. He knew who she was. She only lived about four blocks from his house but she went to the Christian School so they didn’t hang out together. In Hospers, no matter where you lived, there was only a maximum of eight blocks that would separate anyone’s house. She was cute and Zander had some interest in her. It was hard for thirteen-year-old boys to have much courage around girls. They were so much more mature at that age and that brought on waves of apprehension in boys who were trying very hard to look cool.

  He saw Rooster climb the bleachers and he almost missed seeing Sara Jane take off her top. He knew it would have been a great time to escape but he couldn’t move. Zander witnessed the most amazing thing he had ever seen in his short thirteen years of life. He had the biggest moment of his life and when it was over, there were three orgasms at the ball field that particular night.

  He had seen Sara Jane completely naked. He had seen Rooster naked as well but he tried to put that out of his mind. She was beautiful. He had seen her having intercourse and what he couldn’t quite wrap his mind around was that she was the one who wanted it. It was all he could think about. When it was finally safe to get out of the park, he went home in a mind fog. He didn’t even remember to fix the boards on the concession stand. This was a girl he was going to get to know. If she could do somebody like Rooster, then he could very well also have good chances. Besides, he had heard Rooster was leaving soon. That would be good for everyone.

  4

  Hospers, Iowa—Saturday June 19,1965

  Zander woke up in the Orange City hospital four days after the explosion. The chunk of concrete had done a number on his forehead. The doctor kept him sedated to watch for any brain swelling but Zander had a very hard head. The projectile had glanced off his forehead and chewed up the skin pretty badly. He wasn’t much to look at. His head was bandaged and his eyes were both black. His cheeks had turned a pale yellow.

  After the ringing in his ears had stopped, the nurse told him they could see his skull when they brought him in. They all thought he was lucky to be alive.

  Zander felt pretty good except for a nagging headache. He had remembered more each day about what had happened. The county sheriff has stopped earlier that day and asked him a few questions concerning what he saw. Zander mentioned the black Mustang in passing but the sheriff seemed to dismiss that as incidental. They talked about smelling gas and the sheriff told Zander they suspected that it had been a faulty gas water heater that had caused the explosion and fire.

  Zander told him he didn’t know anything about any fire.

  “The entire half block burned to the ground son,” the Sheriff explained, “It was a five-alarm fire and fire departments from all over the area responded. The whole south side of Main Street would have gone but the alley between the sundry and dry goods and the meat market stopped the spread of the fire. Your father’s store is gone as well as the barbershop, and the drug store.”

  Zander hadn’t really thought about the aftermath until the sheriff said, “Thank the Lord there was only one fatality. It could have been much worse.”

  Zander could only stare at him. The sheriff looked at his notes uncomfortably and Zander could feel he was about to tell him something he didn’t want to hear.

  “Sara Jane De Graff. I understand you two were friends.”

  Zander nodded.

  “It’s my unpleasant duty to tell you that she was killed in the explosion and fire,” the sheriff said without much emotion. He stood up, put his hand on Zander’s shoulder and then left the room quickly.

  Zander’s stomach was rolling and he thought he was going to get sick. The room was spinning and all he could do was close his eyes but when he did all he could see was Sara Jane’s face. He didn’t want to talk to anyone and he didn’t want any visitors. This was the worse day of his life.

  The nurses put a “Do Not Disturb” sign on the door and people left him alone. His parents stopped by and told him more of the details of Sara Jane’s death but didn’t know what else to say and realized he needed to be alone. Zander had run that night’s events through his mind over and over. Every time he did, the black Mustang always turned up.

  Something was not right.

  On Monday, June 21, Zander was released from the hospital. Sara Jane’s funeral was held on Saturday and nobody told him because they were afraid he might decide to try
and attend. It had been a closed casket funeral. There wasn’t much left. It had been a horrible fire. It burned everything. They found her remains and a ring she wore was melted to the bone of her ring finger. Her parents had positively identified the ring.

  When Zander asked the Sheriff in a follow-up visit if the repairman had made it out, the Sheriff seemed puzzled.

  “There wasn’t any repair man, that we are aware of anyway.”

  “But Sara Jane said someone was fixing the gas leak and I heard some noise coming from the basement,” Zander said.

  The Sheriff said he would look into it but Zander never heard if anything came of it.

  His parents weren’t much for words and didn’t offer much in the way of comfort for Zander. When he started to feel better, he tried to go over to Sara Jane’s house and talk to her parents. Her mother could only cry and her father didn’t want to hear anything from Zander. He decided to keep his questions to himself and never brought up the black Mustang. As he was leaving, Sara Jane’s younger sister grabbed his hand and squeezed it hard. Zander didn’t even know her name. She couldn’t have been more than eight.

  Zander wondered why a gas leak in the cafés water heater would cause the entire block to explode and burn with such intensity. It seemed like he was the only one still puzzled by the events. Everyone else appeared to have moved on. Zander was only fifteen and no one really wanted to deal with his questions.

  So Zander tried to move on as well.

  *****

  But two great years were so very hard for Zander to let go. He had started his relationship with Sara Jane slowly. She would get off the bus and walk to the post office to get the mail. She would pass right by his dad’s shop. Zander always found a way to be out front when she did. He washed the windows and swept the entrance and always at 4:15 when she came down the street.

  At first Sara Jane would smile and say hello. Later, when she figured out what he was doing, she would stop and talk about nothing. It was a painfully slow procedure. A game of inches so Zander could build up enough nerve to be able to ask her to hang out.