Always a Kicker

by Jeff Zwagerman

  Lilly’s head didn’t hurt much and the small cut just above her ear had healed quite well and her hair covered it anyway.

  This was a nice place. Lilly thought she would like to come back here someday. She was sure there was something she could do at Crested Butte up the road. It was a great ski area and those places always needed help.

  But for now, she needed to figure out what she should do next.

  There was still a bottle of red wine left and she decided to have a glass. She went in and brought out the opened bottle and her glass and set them both on the little table next to her chair. After pouring a glass, she sat back and sipped it slowly.

  Lilly had decided to go into Montrose and look up her old friend and maybe ask for her advice. She hadn’t seen Dee Dee Kupp in a very long time. That made her smile. Who named their kid Dee Dee Kupp anyway? In school, the boys were relentless calling her Double D Cup. Nothing could have been further from the truth. Dee Dee was thin and small on top. But Dee Dee was one of those persons who had the ability to take any situation and see the humor in it. She could disarm most people with just her smile. People liked being around her and so they teased her, not out of meanness but because they wanted to be recognized as her friend.

  Lilly was completely opposite but they ended up being best friends. They had stayed in contact over the years even though they were poles apart in lifestyle. Dee Dee went on to college after high school and majored in education. She was a third grade teacher now. Lilly had dropped out of school at sixteen. She had no father, whom she knew about, and a drunk that called herself Lilly’s mother. Lilly had to raise herself and soon was living on the streets before Van found her. They had talked on the phone weekly but Lilly hadn’t seen Dee Dee face-to-face since her twenty-first birthday. The phone calls had dwindled to one a month for a while and then became sporadic. The last time the two had spoken was almost a year ago.

  When they did talk, it was if no time had passed between them at all. They would laugh and jabber for hours. Lilly wasn’t sure Dee Dee knew what she had become because they never spoke about it. Lilly was excellent at diverting the conversation back to Dee Dee. Everyone thought she was a good listener but it was really just a ploy at self-preservation.

  Lilly sat enjoying the sun and her memories until one-thirty. She went back into the cabin and toasted another bagel for lunch. She took her time packing her things. About 2:30, she was ready to leave. She loaded the car and drove to the lodge and checked out. Then she decided to drive north to Crested Butte and look over the area. The drive took almost a half-hour and the scenery was breathtaking. The aspens were yellow and looked striking against the green pines.

  Crested Butte was just a small town but the ski area just north of the town looked like something right out of a picture of the Alps. Lilly was happy to have made the detour.

  She stopped for gas back in town, paying cash. It would be almost two hours to Montrose and she would try to time it so Dee Dee would be finished with school and back home.

  Lilly had never visited but had the address and from the conversations, and she felt she knew what it looked like both inside and out. She even knew the colors of the rooms and wondered why that was.

  When Lilly finally pulled up to the house, Dee Dee’s Pontiac was already parked in front of her single car garage. Lilly parked out front and hopped out of the car and up to the door. She could hardly keep her excitement contained. She rang the bell and Dee Dee came to the door munching on an apple.

  “Oh my god. Lilly!” she cried as she flung open the door grabbing Lilly and hugging her around the neck.

  “Hey there, girlfriend,” Lilly said hugging her back just as hard.

  “You haven’t changed a bit,” Dee Dee said not letting her go.

  “Okay, but you could release the choke hold,” Lilly said laughing.

  Dee Dee let her go and they both looked at each other. Lilly wanted to tell her she hadn’t changed either, but she had. She was no longer the skinny kid she had known in high school. Dee Dee had filled out. She wasn’t what anyone would call fat but she was thick. She still had the same smile though and soon the physical changes became meaningless.

  The two talked continually for an hour about nothing, which was necessary for two old girlfriends to reconnect. Before Lilly could bring herself to tell Dee Dee the reason she was there, Dee Dee told her she had to leave at 6:00 for parent-teacher conferences but she would be back a little after 8:00.

  “Well that should give me some time to find a place to stay. Any recommendations for a weary traveler?” Lilly asked.

  “Don’t even think about it. You are staying right here. I’ve got a guest room just going to waste.”

  “Are you sure? I don’t want to put you out especially just showing up cold like this.” For some reason the word “cold” made Lilly shutter. It might have been a bad choice of words.

  “Don’t be silly. This will be like a big slumber party for just the two of us. It will be like old times.”

  They talked until it was time for Dee Dee to go. She told Lilly to find something to eat but Lilly had already decided to go out and explore Montrose and maybe find someplace for dinner.

  The sign at the outskirts of town said the population was 15,000. Lilly thought it was the kind of town where one could get lost in, if that’s what one wanted. She just wanted to look around. She found a parking spot downtown and walked the business district. It was a quaint western town and just a bit funky. There were a few shops still open and she was able to make a few clothing purchases. At one shop she asked for recommendations for dinner. She was diverted to a local pub that had what was described as terrific bar food. She wasn’t sure what that meant exactly but it sounded like it would be worth a try.

  The moment she walked in, she knew it was a happy place. Some suits were having after work drinks at the bar. There were a number of tables of business dressed women having pitchers of Margaritas. Some of the suits were co-mingling with the tables of women and they didn’t seem to mind.

  Lilly sat on a vacant bar stool at the end of the bar out of the way of the fray. The bartender came over with a menu and she ordered a tap beer. She saw they had a beer from the Breckenridge Brewery and that sounded good somehow. It made her think of Zander. She rummaged through her bag and found the card he had given her. She was unsure if it was wise to call him.

  Her beer came and the bartender listed the evening’s specials. Lilly decided on the prime rib sandwich and asked where the phone was located. The bartender pointed out the bank of phones on the wall between the men and women’s rest rooms.

  She made sure she had enough change to complete the call and dialed the number. The operator came on and told her how much to insert while the number was being connected. The phone rang three times and it was automatically picked up. It was an answering service and that threw Lilly off-balanced for a second or two. Finally she explained that she was trying to get in touch with someone called Zander.

  The voice on the other end calmly told her to state the phone number where she could be reached and she would pass on the information just as soon as he called in. Lilly told her that she would not be at that number until after 9:00 and he could call anytime after that.

  Lilly hung up the phone and thought it would be good if he called later so she could explain the circumstances to Dee Dee.

  She sat back down at the bar and sipped her beer. It was very cold and tasted better than she remembered. One of the suits walked over and offered to buy her another beer. Lilly thanked him but told him she was eating and then leaving to meet a friend.

  “Maybe next time?” the guy asked.

  He smiled and seemed quite charming. Lilly smiled back at him.

  “I’d like that.”

  Could be she would come back here and see what mischief she could get herself into. She was thinking of the possibilities when her sandwich came. Lilly could not believe her eyes. It wasn’t a sandwich all. It was a two-inch thick piece
of beef that fell over the edges of the plate. She could see two little pieces of toast sticking out from underneath. The fries came on a second dinner plate. Who put fries on a dinner plate? The serving was absolutely huge.

  Lilly looked up at the bartender with wide eyes and mouth open. The bartender laughed loudly.

  “Another confounded customer. We are called the “Pub” with terrific bar food for a good reason.”

  “There’s so much,” Lilly said while glancing at the mountain of food.

  “Enjoy,” the bartender said as he left chuckling.

  Lilly ate a few bites of the prime rib. It was excellent. She thought it might be the best she ever had. She loved fries and ate two or three. They were the crinkle kind. She had few more bites of the beef, and she was finished. This was enough food to feed the entire bar.

  She finished the last of her beer and called the bartender over for a to-go box and the check. She needed a nap but there was no time for that. It was almost 8:00 and Dee Dee would be home by the time she got there.

  *****

  It looked like she just got home. Lilly pulled into the parking area just right of the garage. She sat in the car for a few minutes and knew it was time to come clean. Dee Dee deserved to know the truth.

  Lilly walked into the house and put her to-go box into the refrigerator.

  “Looks like you found the “Pub” with terrific bar food.” Dee Dee laughed.

  Lilly said nothing but took her hand and lead her to the couch and before Dee Dee could say anything more, Lilly poured out her story. She told her what had happened since they parted ways in high school. She told her about Jayne and Van. She told her what she had done for a living and what she was doing now. Then she told her why she was almost killed the day before. When she was finished, she looked at Dee Dee.

  “I know this is a lot to process and I’m sorry to lay this on you but I had no where else to go.”

  Dee Dee said nothing.

  “Look if you want me to leave I would be the first one to agree.”

  Dee Dee finally looked over at Lilly.

  “Are we in danger?”

  “No. At least I don’t think so. They think I’m dead. Dee Dee, do you want me to go?”

  “Don’t be so damn stupid. You need help. We need to decide how to proceed.”

  “I can’t help wondering what you really think of me after hearing all this.”

  “I think you are my friend. I think you did what you thought you had to under the circumstances. I’m not your judge but I am here for you.”

  “You are the best,” Lilly said as her eyes welled up.

  “I know,” Dee Dee said and put arms around Lilly.

  They stayed that way, just holding each other and rocking back and forth for five minutes. Then Dee Dee broke the silence.

  “Now lets go into the kitchen and sit at the table and figure this thing out. But first lets get something to drink. I’ve got a premixed bottle of long island iced tea in the fridge and we’re going to drink the whole thing and if we get shit faced, well, so be it.”

  They talked and drank for nearly three hours. It was a serious discussion but also filled with laughter fueled by the alcohol. Shortly after 11:00, the phone rang. It stopped them both short. Then Lilly remembered the phone call from the bar.

  “Dee Dee, if that’s someone called Zander, I’ll need to talk to him. If it’s anyone else, well you know what to do.”

  She answered the phone with wide eyes but Lilly saw relief in them as she listened to the voice on the other end. Finally she looked of at Lilly and nodded her head positively.

  “Just a moment please” She handed the phone over. “It’s him.

  16

  Almont, Colorado--Monday, September 2, 1985

  Zander was driving his white van on the way to meet Lilly at a resort in Almont. He had never been there before but he knew the road. He had spent some time at the Blue Mesa reservoir just south and west of Gunnison over the past three summers. He and a few of his friends had rented wave runners from a marina on the water. It was nice country and he thought he should introduce Fats to it next summer.

  He really wanted to drive his T-Bird over the mountain passes but Lilly’s voice told him he shouldn’t be drawing any unnecessary attention to himself. Traveling on his day off was the last thing Zander wanted to do, especially since he hadn’t had any time off the last few weeks and in addition to all of that, it was Labor Day. This however, was more important and he did enjoy driving in the mountains and high desert.

  Lilly had given him the name of the resort and told him to look for her car parked at one of the little cabins. When Zander explained that he had no idea what she was driving, she told him it was a bright blue V.W. Bug. Zander always assumed that people who drove V.W’s leaned more toward the hippie vein. Lilly certainly didn’t fit that type.

  Radio reception was almost impossible going through the mountains passes so Zander looked through his cassettes and settled on one he mixed himself. It had many of his favorite mid-sixties songs in no particular order. He liked the oldies. They were from his time and brought back many memories, most of them good.

  A group called The Cyrkle started singing their hit, “Red Rubber Ball”. Zander sang along. He enjoyed singing with the song because it fit his baritone/second tenor range better than most. It was about breaking up with a woman but the song itself was upbeat and the lyric about the sun shinning in the morning like a red rubber ball always made Zander smile.

  He sang with the song until the last verse. Then he stopped. They were singing about giving up the past and getting off the roller coaster because the ticket was paid for with the guy’s tears and there was nothing left to spend.

  The song should have been called “Lead Balloon” because that’s how it hit him.

  His whole adult life was connected to that one event that happened to him when he was fifteen. The whole damn song was written just for him. He must have listened to it hundreds of times and he was just singing the song and not paying attention to the words.

  Was he wasting his life on the loss of something he never really possessed in the first place? The infatuation he had experienced in his youth had polluted his whole adult life.

  So if Sara Jane was alive, so be it. He would find out because the worst was over now.

  First things first however, he needed to try and help Lilly. He had some ideas, but it seemed like she and her friend had come up with a plan. Zander assumed she needed a fresh set of eyes and ears. He would be happy to help and he wouldn’t even charge her. He smiled to himself; he wouldn’t expect money anyway.

  *****

  Lilly drove up to the lodge where she checked into her cabin previously. The gentleman recognized her immediately.

  “Look mother, that pretty young lady is back.”

  His wife came out of their residence that adjoined the lobby.

  “Hello dear. Are you back to spend some more time with us?”

  Lilly smiled and nodded.

  “Well let’s see what is available. We’re awfully busy this time of year you know,” the man said and his wife gave him a good-natured poke in the ribs.

  “Do you suppose I could have the same room as last time?” Lilly asked.

  “I don’t see why not,” the man said reaching for the key.

  “Now dear, it’s lunch time and I’m asking you to join us,” the woman said and took Lilly by the hand.

  “Oh I don’t want to impose,” Lilly replied.

  “Nonsense, I won’t hear another word about it,” she said

  “Besides, it will be nice to look at a pretty face over lunch for a change,” the man said and moved out of the way of his wife.

  Everyone smiled. Lilly could tell they loved each other by the good- natured patter that so many older couples used to help spice up their lives. Lilly wondered if she would ever be lucky enough to find something so wonderful.

  It was a light lunch with BLT’s and a piece of peach pie
for dessert. Afterwards, the three sat over mugs of hot coffee. It was strong and hot and the day was cool.

  Lilly decided to tell the couple about some of her troubles in hopes she could count on them to back up the story she and Dee Dee had concocted. She stretched the truth a bit and told them she was meeting someone who was going to help her escape an abusive relationship.

  Soon Lilly was calling the two Ma and Pop and they appeared to enjoy the labels. They, of course, were interested in what Lilly had told them and wondered what they might be able to do to help out. Lilly was prepared. She handed them a hand written note with all the information they would need. The note listed Dee Dee’s name, and the day and time they would have called to let Dee Dee know that her friend had disappeared and her car and belonging were still at the resort. Ma and pop needed the room, according to the information, and would Dee Dee please come and get her car and things. If asked, they were supposed to tell whomever that they found Dee Dee’s name and number from an address book in Lilly’s purse. It was the only name listed in the “friends” section.

  Ma and Pop loved the cloak and dagger stuff. They told Lilly they were active in the community theatre and loved the chance to do some real life acting. Pop got into his role immediately.

  “What woman just picks up and leaves without her purse, something bad must have happened,” he said seriously and then winked at Lilly.

  “You probably won’t even have to use any of this stuff, but if someone comes poking around asking about me, put it in motion.”

  Lilly reached for her purse.

  “How long will you be staying?” pop asked.

  “Just tonight.”

  “Well you just put that purse away. This will be on us.”