Jaxon

by Maryann Jordan

  He stepped closer and said, “Maybe we were destined to be together.” He looked around at the pool and added, “Perhaps I will learn to swim better so that I’ll be able to join you in the pool more often.”

  Her smile warmed his heart and she moved around in the water, still protecting her arm. “I did some teaching a few years ago. I worked for a pool and taught classes for little kids, and then some water exercises for some elderly as well. I really liked it.”

  “Why’d you give it up?”

  “Oh, Dad had me on a regiment of serious training and I didn’t have the time.”

  He moved closer to her until he was standing right in front of her, his gaze warm upon her face. “Maybe this isn’t the right time to say this, and who knows what the future holds but, maybe sometime, you can teach again.” Shrugging, he admitted, “I know it’s not like the Olympics, but…”

  She tried to ignore the pain that shot through her heart, knowing his words were meant to be positive, but the idea of such a life change was still so foreign to her. Nodding her head in a jerky fashion, she simply said, “Sure.”

  He settled next to her and, as they kicked their legs together, she eventually relaxed once again. It wasn’t full emersion but, she had to admit, the water felt wonderful.

  “I need to know the specifics of the accident,” Sam said, talking into his phone while Pamela walked around him in their kitchen, fixing lunch. “The automobile insurance company wants the police report so that her claim can be attended to. My daughter’s car was totaled and, while we have the driver of the truck’s insurance information, they need the police report to make sure it wasn’t her fault.”

  His words were biting and he grimaced as he ran into one obstacle after another. “Yes, yes. Here’s my email to send it electronically.” He rattled off the email address before disconnecting.

  Looking at his wife, he shook his head. “I swear, trying to get anything done is like ramming my head into a brick wall.”

  She walked over and wrapped her arms around his waist. “I know you’re frustrated, Sam. This is an untenable situation for all of us, but you’ve got to let go of your anger when you’re around Morgan. She doesn’t need your emotions on top of hers.”

  “I know…you keep reminding me.” He heaved a sigh and said, “I just can’t believe that everything we’ve worked for, sacrificed for, lived for, is all gone in one horrendous accident.” He looked down at his wife, and added, “And don’t say it was just my dream. She wanted it too.”

  Pamela leaned back and held her husband’s gaze. He had a hard exterior, but she knew, underneath, he cared about those he loved. “You’re right. She did want it. I often wondered if she had the intensity that you had, but I know it was her goal too.” Squeezing his waist, she added, “But Sam, that’s gone, and we need to help her find her way now.”

  Walking back to the counter, she finished preparing lunch and said, “And I, for one, want to formally meet her new boyfriend.”

  Placated, Sam disappeared into his office, checking his email to see if the police report from the accident came through. It had. Clicking on it, he read the detailed report, including the illustrations depicting the accident. As he read, his anger renewed.

  26

  Pulling up outside of Miss Ethel’s house, Jaxon grinned, seeing Jayden’s bike there as well. Jogging up the steps, he knocked before entering, hearing voices in the back.

  “Miss Ethel,” he called out, his feet already taking him to the kitchen. He entered as she was turning from the counter, a slice of pie in her hands.

  “Oh, Jaxon,” she greeted, her smile wide. “What a lucky day for me to have both of you here.”

  He clapped Jayden on the shoulder and then sniffed in appreciation. “Peach pie? I did come just in time.”

  Soon, they were settled with pieces of pie in front of them and the conversation flowed easily as she asked about their jobs and told them what she had been doing.

  “So, how is Morgan?” she finally asked.

  Swallowing his last bite, he said, “She’s doing really good. I took her to the YMCA this morning before I had a shift and she got in the water. She can’t swim or even use her left arm in the water now, but she was able to kick her legs and do some walking.” He added, “She told me that you came to the hospital, that you know her grandmother.”

  “Oh, yes, she and I are old friends. I went by the nursing home in a cab and took her to the hospital. I knew she wanted to see Morgan.”

  Jayden pushed his plate away and leaned back in his seat. “Things gettin’ serious between you and Morgan?”

  Leaning back, he looked at his twin, unspoken words flowing between them.

  “Okay, you two. I might have been able to tell you apart from the beginning, but the silent twin-language was not something I mastered,” Miss Ethel joked. “I’d like to know the answer to that as well.”

  Grinning, he nodded, holding her gaze. “I really like her. I felt something the first time I was around her, but figured we would never have a chance. Now, she’s told me that, realistically, she won’t be an Olympian, so I know she needs time to figure all that out. She knows better than I do what her chances are of making a comeback, so I’m just trying to be there for her while she works through it. I’m sure of my feelings and I know she cares for me too…I just hope she wants this to go the same place I want it to.”

  “Does she have any idea what she wants to do?” Jayden asked.

  Shaking his head, he replied, “No, and all I want for her right now is to heal.”

  “Does she remember anything about the accident?” Miss Ethel questioned.

  “Not really. She remembers me helping her after being hit by the truck, but that’s all. We don’t talk about that day.” She raised her eyebrow and he hastened to add, “What good would it be for me to go over the entire episode with her? It would just bring up a time that she’d rather forget.”

  “Oscar Wilde once wrote, ‘The truth is rarely pure and never simple.’ He was so right,” she responded, standing to take the plates back to the sink. Looking over her shoulder, she said, “Sometimes in life there is no clear right or wrong, simply choices.”

  “Then how do we know what to do?”

  “Instinct will often give you the answers. What does your heart tell you to do with Morgan?”

  She smiled and reminded, “I have told each of your brothers this at different times. The true measure of a man is not in the mistakes he makes but in how he handles those mistakes.”

  Shaking his head, he remained silent, his mind churning. Soon, he and his brother said their goodbyes and walked out of the house toward their motorcycles.

  “You decide?” Jayden asked, his helmet in his hand.

  He stared at his twin, knowing what was in his mind and that he was asking about Morgan. Nodding slowly, he replied, “Yeah.”

  Jayden grinned widely. “Good. Talk to you soon.” Swinging his leg over his bike, he headed down the road, leaving him still standing in the driveway.

  Hands on his hips, he stared into the neighborhood, his mind traveling back to his childhood and the lessons Miss Ethel taught. Things seemed so much easier back then. As he pondered that thought, he realized it was because Miss Ethel was what he described—a soft place to land.

  As he drove home, he decided he would talk to Morgan about the day of the accident. That way there are no secrets.

  Morgan set her bag down on the inside of her apartment, the smallness of it stark after spending time at Jaxon’s home. Her arm did not hurt as much, and she had no more fears of banging it on a counter or cabinet, or even the tiny-ass shower walls.

  Her heart heavy, she flipped on the light switch and walked into her kitchen. Opening the freezer, she was glad that her mother’s pre-cooked meals were still there. A peek into the refrigerator made it obvious that she needed to make a trip to the grocery store. Glad there was one within walking distance, she was concerned with how difficult it would be to do it a
ll one-handed. Blowing out a big breath, she wondered if coming back was the right thing to do.

  Walking into the living room, she sunk onto the old sofa, noting instantly that the cushions were not nearly as comfortable as Jaxon’s.

  Her dad’s recent visit stayed with her, his words ringing in her ears. Closing her eyes, she felt a tear slide down her cheek and she leaned her head way back, exhausted.

  “He was part of the accident report, Morgan. You slowed down because of his ambulance. It was because of him that your car was out where the truck could hit it. He hasn’t told you because he probably feels guilty. It’s partially his fault that your world’s been ripped apart. All our dreams have gone away forever because of him.”

  Her father had come to Jaxon’s apartment earlier to show her the police report. She read it carefully and, while it placed no blame upon anyone other than the driver of the truck, it was there in black and white that Jaxon Chapman was in the ambulance that was attempting to move through the intersection when she was hit. He was a witness. Why didn’t he tell me? Why pretend he was just there to save me?

  Unable to come up with the answers, she told her dad that she was still not coming home with him but would be returning to her apartment. He waited as she packed her bag and drove her over after she insisted that it was time for her to take care of herself now.

  She sat until the sun set behind the building across the street and her room was cast in shadows. All cried out, she fell asleep on the sofa, her arm not propped up and her head bent to the side.

  Several hours later, a pounding on the door woke her up. Jerking awake, she groaned as her neck protested and her arm throbbed. Looking down, she realized she had missed three texts and four calls from Jaxon. Knowing he must be the one pounding down her door, she stood, wobbling slightly as she walked over.

  Jaxon leaned his head against the door and lifted his fist, knocking again. When he had come home and found her gone, he had been confused. He called and texted repeatedly, but never received a response. Her stuff was gone from his apartment and he had no idea what had happened. Had she left him? Was this it? For a moment, he had thought back to his aunt leaving he and Jayden without a second thought and his stomach had twisted. Jayden told him that he thought Jaxon had never been in a serious relationship before because he harbored subconscious fears of abandonment, but he had never thought that could be true—not until now. He had to talk to her.

  “Morgan!” The door suddenly opened and there she stood, her eyes red-rimmed, her right hand massaging her neck and her left hand balanced against her waist as she flexed her fingers.

  “What’s going on, babe?” he asked, his frustration peaking. As she stood mute, her eyes pinned on his, he felt a snake of fear slither over him. “Babe?”

  “Anything you want to tell me about the day of the accident, Jaxon?” she asked, her voice strangely cold.

  He sucked in a quick inhalation and cocked his head, but remained quiet.

  “Like how I had slowed down and moved into another lane to get out of the way of an ambulance, and doing so placed myself in the path of an oncoming truck?”

  His breath left him in a rush and his shoulders slumped. He lifted his hands and said, “Morgan—”

  “What I can’t understand is why you didn’t tell me. I read the accident report, my dad brought it to me. I know the fault lies totally on the driver of the pickup truck. But why, Jaxon, did you not tell me yourself? My dad’s theory is that you have a hero complex and need to be seen as the savior. Is that it?”

  “A hero complex? Seriously, Morgan? You know me—”

  “I thought I did,” she threw back, her eyes flashing.

  “You did—you do,” he bit out, leaning forward. “Why would I tell you more about that day than you remembered? It was a horrible day for both of us and I know, for you, it represents the day your life changed. I know what that day is to you. Why the hell would I want to drag you through it, giving you a play by play?”

  “I don’t know!” she cried, her shoulders slumping. “It just feels like I was lied to. You kept something from me about a day that changed my life.”

  “I never lied to you,” he said, his heart aching for her tears. “If you let me come in, I’ll talk to you. I’ll tell you whatever you want to know.”

  She stood unmoving for a moment, something working behind her eyes. Finally, with a shuddering breath, she stepped back. Taking the opportunity, he quickly moved past her and into her apartment, being reminded of how small it was.

  Turning around, he said, “Can we sit?”

  “Sure,” she said, her voice no longer laced with anger, but with resigned sadness. She led him to the sofa but sat in the chair.

  He looked around and stalked back toward her bedroom, leaving her sitting alone, her brow crinkled in question. Returning with a pillow in his hand, he leaned over and lifted her arm so that it was propped up.

  She said nothing, biting her lip as her gaze lifted to his.

  He sat down on the sofa, leaning his forearms on his knees. Holding her gaze, he prompted, “What do you want to know?”

  Morgan opened her mouth several times, suddenly unsure of her questions now that he was here in front of her.

  “How about I tell you what I saw that day?” he asked. She nodded, her gaze dropping to her lap as she wiped her sweaty right hand on her knee.

  “We were coming back from a call, heading to the station, when another call came in. I was the usual driver, but we had someone with us who needed to get more hours driving in. Bob was qualified and capable. I was sitting next to him as the call came in and we headed to the new location. He put on the siren and we began to move through traffic as it cleared for us. As we approached the busy intersection, several cars pulled forward, so they could move to the side. Cars on the opposite side of the road, coming toward us, were stopping as well, since we needed to turn. You were one of those cars.”

  Jaxon observed as her forehead creased but her eyes gave no indication that she remembered. Good. No matter what she thought of him, he did not want her to relive the horror of the impact.

  “I…I can’t…nothing,” she mumbled, still staring at him.

  “I’m glad, babe. I still have nightmares thinking about it.”

  She gasped, her eyes widening. “Oh. Not knowing you were there, I hadn’t even thought that you would have seen it…heard it.”

  Nodding, he leaned forward and held her hand, rubbing her fingers. “I had looked back for a second to check on Mary, the paramedic, and heard Bob yell. He saw the truck run the red light. I jerked around and saw the truck hit you, traveling so fast, he pushed you halfway across the intersection.”

  “When did you know it was me?” she asked, her voice soft and low.

  “I jumped out and got to the truck first. The driver’s airbag deployed and he was shaken up, but awake and coherent. I ran to your car next and crawled into the passenger side. It wasn’t until I moved to get in front of you and leaned your head back that I saw your face.”

  He closed his eyes for a few seconds, the memory jolting his heartbeat. Letting out a long breath, he opened his eyes and said, “That’s the only thing you didn’t know, Morgan. I promise. Yes, I was there, and I’ve played it over and over in my mind, but I can’t see that there was anything we did that was wrong.”

  She dropped her gaze and nodded slowly. “I know, I just…I just don’t understand why you didn’t tell me that your ambulance was involved, or at least, there.”

  Scrubbing his hand over the back of his neck, he said, “I didn’t think it mattered. You had no memory of the accident and I just wanted to make sure you were all right.”

  She sat quietly, her head down, staring at her arm.

  “Morgan, I felt something for you the first time we danced, but our lives? Damn, we were not in the same place. After the accident, yes, I wanted to take care of you because you meant something to me and, then, my feelings grew.”

  He looked a
round her apartment before bringing his eyes back to her. “So, why are you here? If you don’t trust me, why not go home to your parents so they can look after you?”

  “I don’t want to be there. As much as I’m having a hard time with the curve life has thrown at me, my dad is also struggling. I think the two of us in one house would be the death of my mom.”

  He snorted ruefully before taking her hand again. “Am I forgiven? I never meant to deceive you. I just wanted to protect you.”

  She sighed and turned her hand over so that they could link fingers. Nodding, she said, “Yes, you’re forgiven. I’m sorry for just leaving and not giving you a chance to explain.”

  He leaned forward and kissed her lightly. “I’m sorry as well. Can we go back?” Standing, he reached out his hand to assist her out of the chair.

  Biting her lip, Morgan replied, “I’m sorry but, no, Jaxon. I really think I should stay here for a while.”

  He reared back, surprise written in his wide eyes. Plopping back into the chair, he opened his mouth but before he had a chance to argue, she jumped in.

  “I need some me time. I’ve never had that and I’m just now figuring out that’s what I need.” She held on to his hand and explained, “From the time I was small, my dad became my coach and turned my love of being in the water into a goal of becoming an Olympian. I don’t want to say it wasn’t my goal also, but now that I’ve had time out of the water to think about it, I can say that there are things I’ve given up for that. My weekends were spent in swim practices and competitions, not having fun with friends. My college major was about getting into a sports-related field but, honestly? I can’t say that was my career goal.”

  Jaxon sat still, his heart aching for the things she gave up, and also afraid she was breaking up with him. He stared at her face, the tiny freckles beckoning, and fought the desire to pull her into his lap, promising to make all her troubles go away.