In Too Deep (Doing Bad Things Book 2)

by Jordan Marie

  “Then I guess I better start acting like it.”

  “That’s the spirit,” Aunt Ida says with a grin. “Let me ask you a question,” she says, and when Ida Sue grins like that, you should worry.

  “What’s that?” I ask cautiously.

  “Have you ever thought of getting a pet for the motel? He could be a mascot, cause my Hamburger is getting ready to drop the prettiest little calf…

  Oh boy.

  52

  Aden

  “All of Hollywood is a buzz with word of what came down today. Aden McIntyre has signed a record deal to direct a new movie which he co-wrote with Ajay Boston. This will be Aden’s first venture into writing and directing, but you may know Ajay from last fall’s blockbuster motorcycle fueled drama, Breaking Dragon, which was based loosely on real life events involving his in-laws.”

  I listen to the reporter on the Hollywood news channel rattle on. I should feel satisfied, but I don’t. My professional career might be back on track, but everything else is a fucking mess.

  “Aden has had his share of bad press lately, when just a little over a month ago he was discovered in a small town in Clancy, Idaho…”

  I turn the television off at that point. I know what comes next. Pictures of Hope. I don’t need to see pictures of her. She haunts me every night in my dreams. I miss everything about her. I miss her smell, her taste, her smile, her laugh and as fucking crazy as it sounds… I truly miss that frown that would show up on her forehead when she was confused or thinking about something. There are times my finger literally itches to smooth it out again.

  I’ve picked up the phone to call her once or twice. I even let it ring through once. Hearing her voice was a big mistake. It felt like I had been sucker punched in the stomach. I hung up without speaking, because in the end I had no idea what I would say.

  “You know what they say about watching the news to hear about yourself from other people.”

  I hear his voice and bite down the urge to tell him to fucking turn around and leave. It’s not fucking easy.

  “What do you want?”

  “I wanted to check on you,” White answers. I turn around to look at him. It’s been over a month, so I can’t see where I hit him now, but I still like to imagine his jaw swollen and bleeding. Maybe I should hit him again.

  “Wanted to see for yourself if your cousin had destroyed me? Sorry. I’m still standing and I’m fine. I’ve been fucked over by women much better at that shit than she was—and they actually meant something to me. You can tell her that too, if you want.”

  “If you want her to know something, maybe you should tell her yourself.”

  “She’s not worth the trouble.”

  “So you’re entirely over her?”

  “There was nothing to get over,” I lie with a careful shrug, while avoiding looking at him. Instead I finish throwing my clothes in my suitcase. I head out on location tomorrow to begin preliminaries on bringing my new project to life. I’m looking forward to it. Maybe working night and day will keep me from dreaming about the one woman I can’t have.

  “I think you’re a fucking liar.”

  “Luckily I don’t really give a damn what you think White,” I answer.

  “Hope’s hurting, man.”

  “That’s on her,” I shrug, but I’m glad she’s hurting. I want her to hurt, I want her to hurt like I am.

  “So, it’s like that? You don’t give a damn about her. It doesn’t bother you at all that she loves you and that her and her son both miss you?”

  “She should be on her knees thanking me that she still has her son,” I growl. White has to know he hit the target that time. I sling the last of my items in my suit case, push the top down on it and zip it closed.

  “I was wrong about you,” White says. I turn to look at him, he’s leaning against the wall by my bedroom door. His arms are folded at his chest and he’s definitely wearing a pissed off vibe, so loudly it’s broadcasted across the room. It’s still not as bad as me, however. I’ve been pissed off since the day I stormed out of the courthouse and walked to a garage to call a cab, leaving that fucking town behind me. I got back, only to discover my truck had been impounded. I had to pay to get it out and send someone after it—because there was no way I was stepping foot back in Clancy, Idaho ever again.

  “Wouldn’t be the first time,” I tell him. “If you’re done with your cryptic visit maybe you can show yourself out. I’m going to be late for my plane.”

  “I thought you’d appreciate a good woman, but obviously I was wrong.”

  “Haven’t ever met one.”

  “Hope made mistakes, I know, but man—”

  “Mistakes… that’s rich. She took almost two months of my life away. She made me believe I was this fucking asshole with a limp dick who wouldn’t support my family. She made me believe I had fathered a child! That I be—”

  I break off because I started to say that she made me feel like I belonged. That’s revealing too damn much and makes me sound more pathetic than I already do.

  “Fine, I’m gone. But, if that’s really what you think at least Hope got one thing right,” White snarls turning to go.

  “What’s that?” I ask out of morbid curiosity.

  “You are a fucking asshole,” he says, and once he delivers his parting shot he leaves. I watch him walk away and sit down on the bed by my suitcase, hold my head down in my hands and wait for the pain in my heart to ease.

  53

  Hope

  “I wish you didn’t have to go,” I tell Ida Sue and I mean it. She’s helped pull me out of my misery and kept me going. It was almost like having my father back. I had forgotten how wonderful my aunt is.

  “I’ve been here too long. Jansen’s starting to get lonely. Besides baby, you don’t need me anymore. You know what you have to do.”

  “He won’t see me, there’s really no point in it,” I tell her.

  I’m still nervous about the whole idea of going to California to see Aden. I found out he wasn’t engaged to anyone. I also found out that woman, who showed up at the courthouse, had put him through hell. Just like me. How can he ever forgive me?

  White gave me Aden’s address, and since he and Kayla are going out that way, I have a ride with them. Kayla, even heavily pregnant, has volunteered to watch Jack while I talk to Aden. I hesitated, but White said he’d be with her and I needed to do this.

  “You’re forgetting something, Hope.”

  “What’s that?”

  “That’s Lucas blood in your veins and we’re made of strong stock. We don’t give up.”

  “But—”

  “We don’t give in, honey.”

  “Aunt—”

  “And we never back down. You own your mistakes, but you go give that man the honest to God truth. You lay it out for him and if he still wants to keep his head in his ass, you let him. You walk away with your head held high. Then, you go get your son, you come home to this fabulous motel you’ve created, and you create a home for you and your babies.”

  “I’m scared…”

  “Wouldn’t be human if you weren’t, but you have to try. You owe that to Jack and that little one in your belly.”

  “I’ll try,” I whisper, still not fully convinced.

  “That’s all any of us can do in life. Now, you bring your babies out to Mason and visit more often, you hear me?”

  “I hear you,” I whisper, hugging her close. She squeezes me extra tight and then bends down so that she’s at eye level with Jack.

  “You take care of your Momma, little one,” she tells him, ruffling his hair.

  “I will,” Jack answers and then he hugs Ida Sue tight. Once they break apart, Jacks goes back to clinging on my leg. He’s been doing that more and more. He’s missing Aden as much as I am, it’s just in response he’s grown extra clingy to me.

  “I’ll be checking in. Don’t forget me and Jansen will be bringing Buttermilk out here come Spring,” she says, naming the cow tha
t she says will give the motel character. I tried arguing with her, but the more I thought about it, the more I think she might be right. If she can have a pet cow named Hamburger, then I should keep the family tradition alive with Buttermilk.

  I stand there and watch as Ida Sue slides into the cab. She waves and Jack and I both wave back, until she’s completely out of sight.

  I really am going to miss her.

  54

  Hope

  I stand there looking at the gates outside of Aden’s home and I panic. This is not the Aden I know. My Aden is the one who held me at night, who told Jack bedtime stories, and who held my hand while laughing in the diner.

  My Aden wouldn’t feel at home here.

  My heart hurts. This was for nothing. What could I possibly say to Aden to make him forgive me and even if he did… what could I possibly offer him? He’s not in my league—he’s not even in my hemisphere.

  I wish I hadn’t let the cab go. I thought if Aden knew I didn’t have a ride he might talk to me. Now, I’m about two steps from walking away and forgetting this whole plan. I only stop when I hear my Aunt’s voice in my head.

  I’m a Lucas and Lucas women don’t back down.

  I click the button in the intercom outside the gate. When a few minutes pass and no one answers, I start wringing my hands together. There’s no way to give Aden the truth if he won’t even see me.

  “Mr. McIntyre is unavailable,” a voice comes across the speaker.

  “I know he’s there,” I tell the unknown voice, and I do. White was able to find out that much for me. “I won’t take but a minute of his time, but I need to talk to him.”

  “I’m sorry, Mr. McIntyre has asked that you vacate the premises immediately. If not, then we are to escort you away,” the voice answers, and he says it with a steely determination that should scare me, but Ida Sue must be right. I do have my daddy’s blood inside of me, because all it does is piss me off.

  “You tell Aden either he grows enough balls to come down here and tell me that himself or he’ll be hearing from my lawyer.”

  The speaker goes dead. I figure that’s it. There’s no way he’s going to see me. I’ll go back to Idaho and have my lawyer contact him, letting him know about my child. I may have started this relationship all wrong, and it may have begun on a lie, but that doesn’t change the fact that he or she is real. Aden deserves at least a chance to be in this baby’s life. If he doesn’t take it—then that’s on him. Ida Sue was right. I was a single parent with Jack and I can be for this child, too. I will make sure my children are loved and happy, I don’t need or want—

  My ramblings are stopped when I see a golf cart come down the paved stone driveway. My stomach flutters with nerves, until the vehicle gets closer and I realize that it’s not Aden.

  The gates open and he looks at me. He doesn’t say hi. He doesn’t smile. He just waits. I walk nervously toward him and look at him, trying to telepathically ask him if I’m supposed to get in.

  Apparently this type of language works for him, because he nods, indicating I should. The minute I sit down he cuts the vehicle, pointing it toward a huge three story house. The closer we get, the bigger and more foreboding it looks…

  And the more lost I feel.

  55

  Aden

  I’m standing at the front steps when Derek pulls up with her and drops her off. She looks good—better than I remember and that sucks. She’s wearing a loose fitting yellow sundress, which shouldn’t look sexy, yet somehow does. Her hair is down and has been brushed until it shines. She’s gained a little weight and it’s allowed her features to round out. I don’t think she’s ever looked prettier.

  “You need to leave.”

  “I will after I say what I came here to say.”

  “We have nothing left to say to each other,” I answer, stubbornly—clinging to the small hope that if I can get her to leave quickly, I might survive this.

  “Maybe you don’t, but I have things to say.”

  “I don’t want to hear—”

  “If you still want me to go when I’m finished, I’ll go. I’ll head back to Clancy and you’ll never see me again.”

  “I can save you the time. I absolutely want you to go.”

  “I see he’s back.”

  “He?”

  “The Aden who opened his mouth and the only thing that could be heard was anger.”

  “You don’t get to pull that card, honey. You deserve everything I dish out at you and more.”

  “Maybe, but the Aden I fell in love with would have at least given me the chance to talk.”

  “That’s where you’re wrong. That Aden discovered the hard way what a lying, stealing, conniving little bitch you are.”

  “You don’t really believe that,” she whispers, but finally I can see that she’s starting to face reality. Her face is white, her body shaking. Score one for me, I delivered the first blow and drew blood.

  You would think I’d feel better about that.

  “I don’t just believe it, I relive it, every damn day.”

  “Then it’s over.”

  “It was over two months ago when I walked out of that damn courthouse.”

  “What about Jack?”

  “What about him?”

  “He misses you. We both do.”

  “Jack doesn’t belong to me, and I sure as hell don’t want you.”

  “You can just turn your back on Jack that easily?”

  “I can,” I lie. I’m grieving after that little boy as much as I am his mother, there’s no way I’m telling Hope that, however.

  “Then we both got fooled, because you really aren’t the man I loved.”

  Loved. Past tense. Another fucking game? The truth? Does she even know the truth?

  “Love. That’s rich coming out of your mouth. What would you know about love?”

  “I know about the love of a parent, because I learned that from my father. I know about the love of being a mother, Jack taught me that and I learned what it meant to love another person so much that you ache when you are away from them. I know what it means to love someone so much that each breath you take is physically painful, because they aren’t there beside you. I learned that from you.”

  “Just stop, Hope. You came here for nothing. Just turn around and leave.”

  “I’ll leave as soon as I tell you what I came here to say.”

  “If I let you say it, will you finally go and never come back?” I ask her, desperate to get her to go. She’s slowly killing me.

  “Yes.”

  “Then say it and get the hell out of here.”

  “My aunt told me that people have a tendency to have scars when they’re hurt and those scars color how they react.”

  I sigh loudly, hoping she’ll get the hint and just stop talking.

  “Well, she said it more eloquently than I can. But, I was carrying scars that I didn’t even know were there. Scars left by my mother and losing my father—”

  “Hope, I really don’t want to—”

  “There were a lot of scars left behind by Jack’s father. I lost my Dad and my Mom was never much of a Mom. I took a chance… and I got burned… badly.”

  “I don’t care, I just—”

  “You said I could tell you what I came here to say. Please let me Aden. Please. It’s the last thing I will ever ask of you.”

  “Finish,” I bark, mad at myself because I can’t shut her down.

  “I devoted myself to Jack and that was good and bad. I was lonely, but those scars just kept growing inside of me—even if I didn’t know it at the time. So, by the time you came around, they were almost all I had left inside.”

  “Hope—”

  “I don’t know, but I suspect you had scars left on you. I don’t know who from, but just thinking back to the way you were, I figure your scars run as deep, if not deeper than mine, and I think maybe you’ve had yours a lot longer.”

  I grunt. I can’t deny what she’s saying, but I
can try and force her to either hurry and finish or fucking leave.

  “When I first met you, I hated you.”

  “Well congratulations, you proved that in spades.”

  “You were mean, hateful, crude, and you reminded me of everything I hated about Jack’s father,” she says, and that gets my attention—even if I don’t want it to. “I was scared of you. Petrified really. I lashed back at you every time you delivered an attack, because I didn’t want to be the weak person I was with Jack’s father, but I was. Deep down, those scars were raw and you were hitting every single one of them with your attacks.”

  “Perfect, so all this was my fault. Why doesn’t this surprise me? I’m going in, stay out here if you want, but I’m done.”

  “I didn’t have much in life. I had Jack and I had the motel. I was barely hanging on to it, but if something happened and you took it away that would mean I had failed Jack in every way possible as a parent—as someone whose duty in life was to provide for and protect him. I was petrified you were going to sue me. It’s not an excuse, it’s not even an explanation. I just wanted you to know what was going through my mind. The paramedics assumed I was your wife and the hospital wouldn’t let me check on you—they wouldn’t even tell me how you were.”

  “Like you cared. You were only concerned about being sued.”

  “You’re right, I was,” she says, and that feels like a death punch. If I didn’t have so much anger inside of me, it quite literally, would have brought me to my knees.

  “Because back then, you hadn’t let me in, Aden. I didn’t know you.”

  “You still don’t. I became someone you invented in your sick little game.”

  “Bullshit. You were real. I don’t care what you say, you’ll never convince me otherwise,” she says. Her body is shaking with conviction, as she tries to deny my words.