Monsters & Mayhem Omnibus 1

by Dan Decker

  “Oh, it’s real, all right.” Her lips moved, changing what I’d thought had been a smile into a sneer, the malice evident on her face.

  Jeffords watched our exchange with laughter.

  “Whoever picked you for the welcome crew, Dolores,” Jeffords said, “knew what they were doing.” He looked at me. “We’re dead. Or at least we died and then got stuffed into new bodies.” His gaze switched to Dolores. “The world we knew is far away.”

  Dolores’ face went dark. “Weren’t you leaving?”

  “Not until I’m better.” His attention turned to me. “Take a look.”

  Jeffords fished a small mirror out of his pocket that was just a polished piece of metal. At first, he acted like he was going to toss it to me but must have realized I couldn’t catch it so he threw it on the cot.

  I glanced at the mirror, uncertain what to do next. I was curious but felt like I was being toyed with. I looked from Dolores to Jeffords and back to the mirror.

  “You’ll learn the truth soon enough.” Dolores shrugged. “May as well rip off the bandage.”

  She said nothing more and even though I felt it somehow was a display of weakness I decided it was harmless to look at my own reflection.

  Bending over to pick it up was not easy. My muscles spasmed with the strain. When my hand reached the mirror my fingers had a hard time taking hold. They were numb, like they’d been cold for some time and were just warming up.

  I was unable to grasp it and realized my hold of the cot had not been as reliable as I thought. I rubbed my hands to get the circulation moving, they had never responded this poorly before.

  “That takes time to wear off,” Jeffords said, “you’ll want to use two hands for now.”

  My mouth was a firm line as I followed his instructions and picked it up with both, feeling a fool, but letting curiosity get the better of me. Even with both it took considerable effort.

  By the time I raised the mirror to where I could see my face, perspiration had formed under my armpits and the temperature was several degrees hotter. It took every bit of effort I could muster to stand. My knees started to shake.

  “You’ll want to sit,” Jeffords said.

  I ignored his admonition and looked into the mirror.

  The face that stared back was not my own.

  5

  My face was wrong in many ways. I closed my eyes before looking again to make sure I hadn’t just imagined it, that it wasn’t just some trick of my mind.

  I can’t let them see my reaction, I thought, keeping my lips still as the dead. I thought back to my time as a prosecutor. I had dealt with some of the most hardened criminals. When I had shown the slightest hesitation they had pounced on it.

  What I’ve already done is too much.

  I steeled myself, intending to show nothing more.

  The face that looked back was undeniably someone else’s. I’d been blonde before the incident, but my hair was gone. My chin had been sharp before but was now thick and rugged. I noticed a tattoo under my ear when I turned my head. It was an insignia but wasn’t one I recognized.

  I let out a low breath and placed the mirror on the bed while keeping the emotional torrent from reflecting on my face.

  “What of it?” I asked. “I don’t have hair. No big deal.”

  Jeffords’ smile was wicked. “You don’t need to pretend. We’ve all been through it. My theory is they meant to give us the body we had before, but something went wrong. Somebody made a mistake and the vials got switched. I’ve been on the lookout for my own face but have not yet seen it.”

  I looked at him with unblinking eyes, imagining he was a defendant and I was about to do a cross-examination to keep my emotions from showing.

  “I’m just trying to be helpful,” he said. “You’ll learn more in orientation.”

  I opened my mouth, but he cut me off.

  “Hold still,” Jeffords commanded, his tone brooking no argument, “don’t move an inch.” I turned my head on instinct, causing him to yell. “I told you not to move!”

  His hand went to a pocket and pulled out something like a small television remote that he pointed at me.

  “You have a bung beetle on you. One touch of its pinchers and you’re a dead man.”

  I froze as Dolores slipped away.

  “I’ll take care of it,” Jeffords said, “don’t move again.”

  I stood for what seemed an interminable long time, not able to see what they saw. My still forming legs started to hurt. Perspiration dripped down my face. I feared sweat would drop on the bung beetle and startle it into biting me.

  I wasn’t sure if it was my imagination at first, but I could feel something moving up my leg. After it reached my waist, it climbed toward my belly.

  “The smaller they are, the deadlier they are.” Jeffords pointed the remote at the bug, holding it still for a long time. Meanwhile, I could feel every move as it made its slow crawl up my chest. “One thing you have to learn about this place is that if you make the slightest misstep you are dead. We do our best to keep camp clean of these critters, but every now and again one slips through.”

  The critter continued its crawl. It was now above my belly button.

  I did not dare look down.

  “The thing won’t stay still. I need to lock onto it for three seconds. Arghh… I told you not to move! You move like that one more time and you’re going to be dead so fast you won’t know what hit you.”

  My response came through clenched teeth. “It wasn’t on purpose.” It had been an involuntary spasm of my legs. If he didn’t act soon it would happen again.

  It was now five inches below my throat. I didn’t know what I would do if it touched my skin. I might just throw it, hoping to survive.

  “I told you to stay still.”

  I grunted, wishing I had sat when I’d had the opportunity.

  “This isn’t working.” Jeffords shook his head, dropping the remote. “The cursed technology only works half the time. I don’t even know why they bother to give it to us.” He pulled a knife from a sheath on his belt. “We’re gonna do this the old-fashioned way.”

  He slid over to me, so slowly his movements were barely perceptible and seemed to take forever. As he came closer he brought up the knife and for a moment I feared he was coming to slit my throat.

  There was something in his eyes that told me he could do such a thing.

  Maybe even had.

  Perhaps it was just my nerves, maybe it was just the situation, but I honestly feared for my life more at his hands than the bung beetle.

  When Jeffords was a foot away he moved the knife towards my chest. If he had been slow before, he was at a snail’s pace now.

  The rest was quick.

  He lunged—I stepped backward—but he didn’t touch me. His knife flicked the creature from my chest.

  As I bumped into the cot I watched where it landed. The creature emitted a high-pitched sound, somewhere between a baby’s cry and a yappy dog’s bark.

  The beetle disappeared in a puff of sand and smoke, a hole in its place on the floor.

  Jeffords held a pistol in his other hand. I did a doubletake when I realized it wasn’t like any weapon I’d seen on earth. The barrel was wrong, if it was even called a barrel.

  “You’re going to have to do better than that,” Jeffords said as he put away his weapons while glaring at me. “It would have been easier if you hadn’t moved. You might be the size of an Arkyn, but you don’t have their discipline.”

  I looked from him to the spot where the bung beetle had been. I opened my mouth to thank him for saving my life, but he’d already turned away.

  What’s an Arkyn?

  I said nothing. He didn’t appear the type who wanted gratitude.

  “Now that’s done, Mr. Anders,” Dolores said, “its time you lie back down and rest if you can. As I mentioned, your body isn’t going to be fully functional for several days.

  Mr. Anders?

  That was not
my name.

  I frowned, thinking about not correcting her, but Ava would be looking for Anderson, not Anders.

  Maybe this is a dream or drug-induced hallucination, but regardless, Ava won’t find me if they don’t have my right name.

  “Anderson.” I licked my lips and hesitated, rethinking my strategy of not volunteering information while trying to shake off the adrenaline that coursed through my body. “My name is Earl C. Anderson.”

  Jeffords whirled around. When I glanced at him, he hid a frown but I saw recognition in his eyes.

  Did we know each other?

  Maybe this was a drug-induced hallucination.

  I searched my memory for anybody named Jeffords but came up with nothing.

  Whatever game was going on, whatever had happened, I wasn’t going to spend another minute in this tent. I took a step, slowly to make sure I could maintain my balance and followed it with another.

  Neither Dolores nor Jeffords stopped me as I approached the canvas door. When I glanced at Dolores, I could tell she expected me to fall over. She had a misery-loves-company smile on her face that made me think she was going to enjoy the moment if it happened. I would my best to disappoint her.

  “You won’t like it,” Jeffords said, his voice cold. “Best you rest up and wait for orientation.”

  “What’s it to you?” I growled, remembering my voice was deeper now.

  Why was the door so short?

  I marveled when I realized I was more than a head above than Dolores who seemed tall, at least compared to women I remembered on earth.

  “You don’t seem the trusting sort,” Jeffords said, “but you may want to give some thought to what your mind is telling you right now. Every movement brings pain. I remember it, Dolores does too. We all went through it and came out the other side in one piece. We took our time to digest everything. You should return to bed and wait for orientation.”

  The more he spoke, the more I wanted to explore, convinced he was playing games. Even if this was all a trick and I was doing the exact thing Jeffords wanted me to do I wasn’t going to stop. I needed to check it out firsthand.

  Foreign world.

  The words bounced around my mind like they were a superball ricocheting off the inside of my skull.

  Walking came easily enough now that I was warmed up. I could probably even manage to run for a short distance if needed, something I would do if given a chance. The moment I had an opportunity to escape I was going to take it.

  If I was on the other side of the world—as what little I had seen of my environment seemed to indicate—that was fine. I would do whatever was necessary to get home.

  They drugged me and shaved my head. That’s why my reflection looks wrong.

  A wave of hot air hit me as I pushed the canvas door out of the way, but it was quickly followed by a stench that was bad enough I almost gagged.

  I swallowed and forced my way out to the foreign world.

  Jeffords was right by my side, he was far more than a head shorter. I thought at first maybe he’d come to help in case I fell but I got the feeling he wanted to see my surprise.

  The red rock was everywhere. Red cliffs rose in front of us. My eyes naturally followed them to the sky which was a light shade of purple.

  There was no denying this was foreign.

  The sun was just above the edge of the cliff in front of us, it was brighter than it should have been and larger too. I couldn’t even glance in its direction without a hand covering my eyes. The touch of its light was hotter than anything I’d experienced before, it felt likely to cook me if I stood in its path too long.

  The moon was out as well. As I scanned the sky, I saw another moon, smaller than the first.

  I blinked and looked again to make sure it hadn’t been my imagination.

  It wasn’t.

  I could deny it no longer. I was on a foreign world.

  “Not only are you dead,” Jeffords said with a malevolent smile that made me want to punch him, “and your face is different, you’re also on the other side of the unknown universe.”

  6

  I looked from Jeffords to the stunning vista. I was unable to process his words. For the first time since awaking my mind was overcome with anxiety and panic to the point it overwhelmed my logical thought process. My body went rigid as I clenched my fists. I ground my teeth while looking at the alien horizon.

  Jeffords must have taken my silence as acceptance of what he had told me. I had never seen anything like it. I was uncertain what I should do next. I forced myself to take a breath, taking control of my lungs to avoid gasping.

  I had done well so far to roll with the situation and keep a poker face, but it was getting more and more difficult

  This is a drug-induced vision, I thought, that’s all this is.

  Perhaps I’d been put on morphine after I was shot.

  Or maybe I was in a coma.

  I closed my eyes, willing myself to wake up to the reality I had been familiar with before the madness had begun. Even if I were in a wheelchair for the rest of my life, that would be better than this. I would have my family. I would understand the world around me.

  This is a nightmare.

  I was careful to keep my face smooth as I took hold of a tent pole to keep from falling.

  “What is your last memory,” I asked Jeffords, “from before you woke up?”

  He had a sharp intake of breath and a flash of something crossed his face so fast I couldn’t decide what it was. Anger? Frustration? Regret?

  “You’re new here, so you don’t know that question is inappropriate. What came before stays there, all we focus on is the here and now.”

  A warning bell went off in my head.

  Dolores was talking to somebody over the radio and I took another step outside, hoping this was an elaborate hoax.

  There had to be ways to tell if this was fake.

  Jeffords cleared his throat and hesitated. Eventually he spoke, sounding reluctant as he did. Duty had won over something else.

  “The sun is brutal,” he said. ‘You want to make sure you’re fully covered with block or you’ll be toast before you know it.” He nodded towards Dolores. “She’s given you a lot of leeway. If you get back on your cot I’ll convince her to cover for you. Otherwise you’re going to meet the boss today. I’ll tell her you need another day, that your body isn’t up to it.”

  I didn’t respond, unsure of how to take his words. I had asked to meet the boss, the sooner, the better.

  Was he trying to keep me from doing it? Why?

  Jeffords was telling the truth about the sun.

  Even in the few seconds I’d stood in the open, my skin was considerably warmer. My skin would burn faster here than it had on earth.

  An aircraft approached but I was not able to see it from my position underneath the tent’s awning. It sounded like back home, as if were a jet speeding through the atmosphere.

  Hope fluttered in my chest, raising its dying head.

  They might not have control of the skies.

  Perhaps it was a hoax after all.

  A moment later the aircraft buzzed by overhead.

  I did not recognize it, at least not as an airplane from back on earth. As it disappeared over a rocky ridge something about the aircraft seemed familiar, but I was unable to identify what. Perhaps it had a familiar look to something I had seen on television.

  I turned to Jeffords. “Why are we here?”

  Delores put a hand on my shoulder, keeping him from answering.

  “The general doesn’t usually hold meetings so soon, but he’s willing to see you.” She frowned, slightly. “We’re doing as you requested. Please keep that in mind.” Jeffords grimaced, but it was so quick I almost missed it.

  Perhaps my theory is correct. He doesn’t want me to meet the boss.

  Dolores beckoned for me to follow and after a glance at Jeffords who stared at me with cold eyes, I did as requested and followed her down the canvas hallway.r />
  She opened the door and carelessly stepped outside. I would have thought she’d be more careful but she didn’t appear concerned.

  I stopped just before the door, my thoughts a million miles away from where I apparently stood.

  How can I get back to Ricky and Ava if I’m a universe away?

  Dolores looked back. “Hurry, he doesn’t like to be kept waiting.” A smirk crossed her face as she spoke, but she turned her head quick enough I wondered if maybe I had just imagined it.

  The sun was hot but we moved fast.

  I shook my head, a sinking feeling forming in my stomach the further we went. I didn’t like where this was going.

  There’s an intergalactic war, I thought, figuring my idea was not so far from the truth. I didn’t think they expected legal services, judging by the sizeable brutish body they’d given me.

  The thought was unsettling, mainly since it was straight out of a bad science fiction movie, but I accepted the premise for now. If this turned out to be a dream, no harm done, but if this was my new reality, I needed to recognize and adapt as quick as possible.

  A man had to play the cards he held, not the ones he wanted.

  Or the ones he thought he had.

  “I heard Jeffords explain we wear block,” Dolores said, stopping to check that I was behind her a minute or so later. “Don’t worry, you won’t be in this long enough to matter.”

  A group of men ran by, each of them carrying a strange looking rifle on their shoulders. All of them wore wide-brimmed hats and shades, but their skin was freely exposed.

  I gritted my teeth as I watched them pass, following Dolores a moment later. It is in my best interest to play along, but they’ll be suspicious if I’m too willing.

  I was not going to gain much by fighting when they held all the power. My only choice was to play their game, at least until I figured out a way to escape.

  Dolores led me inside another tent where a woman sat at a desk while looking at a transparent holographic display. She was talking to somebody but I couldn’t hear a word.

  “I brought the new recruit,” Dolores said when the woman looked at her.

  Recruit?