Time Will Tell

by M. Ullrich

  Normally, she’d waltz right in, grab a snack, and fall onto the couch to join Mr. McClellan while he watched some obscure British comedy. But Eva knew she wasn’t welcome today, and she had no idea what Casey had told her parents. Eva’s heart hurt even more at the thought of disapproval from Casey’s parents. She raised a shaky hand to the door and knocked.

  Mrs. McClellan answered the door and looked at Eva with sympathetic eyes. “Oh, Eva. I don’t know what happened, but my daughter is very upset with you.”

  Eva removed her hat and held it to her chest. “I know, and I deserve it,” Eva said, looking away in shame. “I came here to apologize.” She looked to Patricia in desperation, ready to beg.

  “She’s upstairs. We haven’t seen much of her since Friday.” Eva stepped around her, only to be stopped by Patricia’s gentle hand on her shoulder. “We have to get our stories straight.”

  “Our stories?”

  “I wasn’t the one who let you in.” Mrs. McClellan winked.

  Eva nodded and ascended the stairs quietly. She grew more and more nervous with every step she took, worrying herself about Casey shutting her out. What she saw in art class was a disconnect unlike anything she’d ever seen.

  Casey’s door was slightly ajar, and Eva pushed it open as she knocked. Casey sat at her desk, flipping through the pages of a large textbook. Eva took a few tentative steps forward but Casey’s rigid voice stopped her.

  “Did my mom let you in?”

  “No.”

  “Did she tell you to say that?” Casey turned a page with such force it tore.

  “Don’t be mad at her,” Eva said, feeling a sense of betrayal toward Patricia.

  Casey sighed heavily. “I’m too tired to be angry at you and her,” she said and turned another page.

  “Casey, I’m so sorry,” Eva said to the back of Casey’s head.

  “Sorry for what exactly? Do you even remember anything? Are you apologizing for something you said or did?”

  Casey had her there. The details lay just beyond her grasp, just below the surface of her memory. “I remember upsetting you and I’m sorry for that,” she said, barely containing how distraught she felt. “Will you please talk to me so we can put this behind us? I need you to forgive me.” Eva took a deep breath and confessed awkwardly, “I miss you.”

  “Isn’t missing me now good practice for when I ditch you? Or, how did you put it—before I ‘conveniently leave you behind.’ I think that was it.” Casey turned another page and Eva was beginning to hate the book she was reading.

  “I didn’t mean any of that.” Eva was tired of talking to the back of her best friend’s head. “Casey, please look at me.”

  “Trust me, you don’t want me to.” Casey’s tone changed for the first time. Gone was her cold detachment; now her words were alive and dancing like fire. “Because if I look at you, you’ll know just how mad I am and how much you hurt me.” Eva could hear the words clogging Casey’s throat. “It’ll be better if you just go, Eva.”

  Eva looked around the room in case she never saw it again. She reached into her pocket and pulled out the small origami flower she had made. The lotus wasn’t the most beautiful, but Eva made sure every fold was perfect. She fluffed the petals and checked one in the center, the most hidden, where she had written in dull pencil: I love you. Eva put the lotus in her hat and set it on Casey’s pillow. She left the room with one more mumbled apology.

  Casey relaxed into her chair the moment she heard the front door close. She closed her eyes and took several deep breaths. Her weekend had been spent in tears and with a sadness so deep she could barely move. She wasn’t prepared for her first encounter with Eva, and Casey wasn’t sure how to feel. She was mad at Eva and she was mad at herself. She was angry with the world because Eva’s words that night weren’t entirely wrong. She was going to college in a few months, leaving Eva behind. Casey couldn’t promise everything would be all right, but it wouldn’t be easy for her either. To hear Eva say so, even if fueled by alcohol, cut Casey deeper than a flat-out insult ever would. If she were to forgive Eva easily, she’d never learn from this. Casey had to play the tough love role. Eva could not turn to drinking. Eva wasn’t allowed to follow in her uncle’s path.

  Casey stood and noticed Eva’s hat on her pillow. She ran her fingertip along the frayed satin trim before picking up the paper lotus and fingering the crisp edges of its petals. They had folded hundreds of flowers and animals through the years, but the lotus was always one Eva couldn’t master. She finally did, for her.

  Casey picked up the hat and the flower and rushed out of her room.

  “Eva!” she called out the moment she was outside. Eva was sitting on the curb by Casey’s car. She stood and Casey was struck by how wet her cheeks were. “You know what you did was stupid, right?”

  “Yeah, I know.” Eva sniffled.

  “You are so much stronger than that,” Casey said, reaching out and grabbing Eva’s hand. “Just like how we’re so much stronger than a little distance. I’ll always be here for you, even if I’m not next door.” Eva’s eyes remained on their joined hands, so Casey gave it a tug to claim her full attention. “Don’t ever scare me like that again.”

  “I’m so sorry. It felt like reality hit me all at once.” Eva shuffled back and forth. “The school year’s almost over, and Jason—” Casey held up her hand.

  “What about Jason? Is it because of what he said? I tore into him once we left and ignored him for the rest of the night.”

  “It’s not just that.” Eva scratched at her neck and didn’t say more.

  Casey gave Eva’s hand another squeeze to encourage her to talk. “Eva, what is it?”

  “There’ll always be a Jason,” Eva whispered. Casey had to lean closer to hear her clearly. “I hate sounding like a needy, jealous friend, but I hate to think of someone else taking you away.”

  Casey’s heart dropped. She tried to keep herself from searching for a hidden meaning between the lines, so she did the only thing she could. Casey pulled Eva into her arms and held her tightly. She buried her face into the crook of Eva’s neck and let her scent calm her racing mind. Eva always smelled of clean laundry and honey.

  She pressed her lips to the shell of Eva’s ear and whispered, “Forget about everyone else. I’m right here with you.”

  Chapter Six

  Eva’s ass had gone numb. She had never sat for so long on the metal bleachers that lined her school’s football field, but they got there early to ensure a good seat. The McClellans had their cameras ready while Eva sat petrified. The sun was high behind the baking audience, filling the field with shadows that looked like arrows directing their attention to the crowd of teenagers dressed in caps and gowns. Eva’s eyes never strayed far from Casey, but Casey’s large sunglasses kept Eva from knowing whether their eyes ever met. She could hear Casey’s laughter, and she smiled.

  Soon enough it would all be over. Kids would move on and parents would be left with empty nests. What would Eva be left with? Casey told her it’d be okay. Eva had to believe her, but why was her vision beginning to blur with tears?

  “Unbelievable, isn’t it?” Patricia said, leaning into Eva’s side. Eva could only muster a half-hearted nod. “Have you thought about what you’d like to do once you graduate next year?”

  Eva’s mouth opened and closed her mouth several times. She didn’t have a real answer, and the echo of the principal’s voice saved her from any pitiful lie she’d come up with.

  First, the valedictorian was invited to the stage to give her speech. Eva paid little attention to what the girl had to say about school years past and the companionship felt for her fellow students. All Eva cared about was Casey. The sunlight did wonders for her freckled skin.

  When Casey’s name was announced, Eva, Patricia, and Jim stood and cheered. Casey made her way to the collapsible stairs and platform stage, then she removed her sunglasses and smiled to her parents, who snapped a seemingly endless stream of photos. After sha
king the principal’s hand, Casey looked right at Eva and shot her the most dazzling smile before winking. Eva wanted to fall back onto the bleachers. The swell of pride and sadness she felt nearly choked her.

  By the time Eva’s head cleared, a shower of graduation caps had rained down on the teenagers dressed in navy and gold.

  Every family member, friend, and loved one rushed from the stands to hug their favored graduate. Eva and the McClellans had to wait in line to get to her. Casey was well-liked amongst faculty and the student body, so many people wanted to share their well-wishes. But regardless of their reasons, Eva was growing impatient. The countless minutes of waiting finally came to an end, and Jim gave his daughter a fatherly bear hug. Patricia was immediately drawn into the embrace. Eva’s heart grew heavy as she watched the familial display. Her parents hadn’t been dead long enough for her to forget that kind of closeness. Her melancholy lasted for only a moment before Jim pulled her into the group hug.

  When they separated, Eva felt awkward in her emotional daze, so she blurted out the first thing that came to mind. “Look at our little girl all grown up.”

  Casey spared her a laugh, which was expected, but the hug that followed was completely unexpected. Casey pulled just her into another embrace, this one more intimate than the last. Eva buried her nose into Casey’s golden hair and relished the scent of her fruity shampoo. She felt Casey’s lips against her ear and heard her whisper, “Are you ready to party?” Eva disguised a shiver in a nod of agreement.

  Ever since the night of Eva’s apology, she’d sensed a slight shift in Casey—whispering while her lips made contact, constantly pulling their bodies closer, and making sure their bodies touched in bed during sleepovers. Eva knew Casey was simply increasing their closeness before she left, and Eva soaked up every moment. But if Eva was anyone else, any guy, she’d think Casey had been flirting with her.

  Eva was absolutely sure of one thing: as long as she was Eva, she’d never stand a chance with Casey as anything more than her best friend, even if she’d come to realize how badly she wished she did.

  Casey wrapped her arm around Eva’s waist and led them out of the crowd. Eva was aware of every stare from fellow classmates and parents alike, but Casey was either oblivious or didn’t care. Eva simply let her lead the way.

  * * *

  Casey’s graduation party was set to start at seven sharp, but guests started to file in fifteen minutes early. Each new arrival ignored Eva’s existence, which was fine by her. She preferred monitoring snacks and helping Casey’s parents with anything they needed. She hid in the kitchen with Jim and Patricia, but Casey made sure to spend time with them when she took a break as hostess.

  An uproar at the door signaled Jason’s arrival, and Eva’s eyes hurt from rolling them so forcefully. He showed up over an hour late and expected a kiss to Casey’s cheek to soothe her. Casey had explained to Eva that they were still “talking,” but they weren’t dating. But if Jason cared about Casey, he would’ve been early to her party and helped out like Eva did. Or he could’ve at least been on time.

  Jason held Casey close to his side and Eva nearly crushed every potato chip in the bag she was holding. Casey must’ve sensed Eva’s growing discomfort, because she followed her into the kitchen under the guise of getting Jason a drink. She stopped beside Eva and placed her hand gently on Eva’s forearm.

  “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah,” Eva said, straightening the snack bowls on the counter.

  Casey grabbed Eva’s shoulder and forced her to look at her. She ran her hands down Eva’s arms and gripped her hands. “Are you sure?”

  Eva so easily lost herself to Casey’s concerned green eyes. “I’m—”

  “Casey!” Jason’s deep bellow cut through the chatter in the room. His face was set like stone as he stared at them.

  Casey huffed. “I’ll be right back.”

  When Casey returned to Jason with his drink, he made a show of kissing her sloppily, possessively, and Eva cringed. She needed a break from them and the rest of the crowd. She excused herself and went to the bathroom on the second floor. No guests were allowed on the second floor where all the bedrooms were, so Eva found solace in near silence.

  She sat on the plush covering of the toilet and dropped her head into her hands, hearing the faint sound of footsteps outside the door. Fully prepared to tell someone off for coming upstairs, Eva opened the bathroom door, but she didn’t see what she expected. Casey’s bedroom door was slightly ajar, and in the sliver of light provided from the hallway, Eva managed to make out two figures standing just inside the room.

  Jason had Casey pinned against her tall wooden wardrobe with his bulky body. She seemed so small in comparison. Casey’s eyes were closed as he kissed her and ran his hands up her sides. A patch of her bare, pale skin beckoned to Eva’s keen eyes. Eva licked her dry lips. His fingertips made impressions on Casey’s softness. Eva’s breath grew shallow with anger and unwanted desire when she heard a small grunt from Jason. Eva ducked back into the bathroom silently. She didn’t understand. Casey said they weren’t dating. She didn’t think that was what Casey wanted, but maybe it was.

  She planted her hands on the bathroom vanity and stared in the mirror, trying to see herself through other eyes. No one would want her like that. Her sharp features and lanky body left very little to be desired. Eva shifted her focus to her hands. Her fingers were long with pronounced knuckles, and her palms were smooth. She gripped the counter tighter and watched the muscles flex. Fantasies of her hands flexing around Casey’s waist came to mind and Eva swallowed roughly. She closed her eyes.

  Eva imagined every inch of Casey’s skin Jason had tainted being purified by her own gentle touch. She would wash away any of his latent roughness with a touch of delicacy Casey deserved. Casey’s body should be revered by feather-light caresses and teasing fingertips. Eva pressed her thighs together as she thought of dipping the tip of her index finger into Casey’s navel. The way she’d kiss Casey would erase the memory of Jason forever.

  Eva opened her eyes and looked at her reflection again. Her face was flushed and her breathing ragged. She needed fresh air, and more than anything, she wanted to clear these insane thoughts from her head.

  She checked the hallway before running down the stairs and out the back door. Eva expected to be alone in the backyard since all the food and music was inside, but one lone partygoer sat on a small bench against the fence. Casey was missing her own party.

  “Mind if I join you?”

  “Like you even have to ask.” Casey waited for Eva to sit and scooted closer immediately. “Your cheeks are so red,” Casey said, placing her chilled palm to Eva’s face.

  “It was getting hot in there.” Casey just nodded and laid her head on Eva’s shoulder. Something seemed off with Casey, and Eva wasn’t sure how to approach it, given what she had seen. “This may seem weird for me to be asking you, but are you okay?”

  “No,” she said firmly. “But I’m starting to feel better now.”

  Eva elbowed Casey gently. “Wanna talk about it?”

  “It has to do with Jason. Are you sure you want to hear it?”

  Eva hesitated for only a second before her need to be Casey’s best friend kicked in. “I’m here to listen, no matter what.”

  “Jason’s an asshole.”

  “Yes, he is.”

  “He wasn’t happy about the breakup, so he decided to just ignore it and continue to act like we’re together. It didn’t bother me because I knew the school year was almost over, and then I wouldn’t have to see him.” Casey grabbed Eva’s hand and started to play with her fingers. Eva breathed unsteadily as flashes of earlier imagery surfaced again. She tamped down her growing libido.

  “He wasn’t a terrible guy until his main focus became sex. We had barely kissed, and he was asking me to go all the way. It’s one of the main reasons why I broke up with him in the first place, not just because he’s an ass to you.”

  “Did you…”
Eva didn’t want to hear the answer, but she needed to know it.

  “He just pulled me upstairs, thinking I’d give it up for his graduation present. I told him no, and he wasn’t happy about it.” Casey lifted her head and wiped away a small tear. “I don’t even know why I’m crying. I didn’t love him, not even close.” Eva tried to rein in her grin. “I’m like any other girl. I want my first time to be special, with someone special.”

  “He was using you,” Eva said, not realizing she was speaking out loud.

  “That’s exactly it. I feel used. Like he wouldn’t want to be with me for any other reason.”

  Eva’s heart sank. “If that’s true, he’s more of an idiot than I thought. You’re perfect,” she said simply, trying her best to rid her voice of inappropriate awe. She checked the backyard one more time to see if they were still alone. Only two girls stood in the opposite corner, sneaking a cigarette. “You’re beautiful, brilliant, and the most selfless person I’ve ever met.” Eva caught the blush coloring Casey’s cheeks. “Did I say you were beautiful?” Casey nodded shyly, and Eva knew she’d probably embarrass herself with her next words, but seeing Casey smile was much more important. “What I meant to say is you’re absolutely gorgeous.”

  Casey giggled. “Stop it.”

  “Someone, someday, will get to be with all of you, and they’ll be the luckiest person in the world.” Eva’s words nearly caught in her throat. “And if they hurt you, they answer to me.” Casey pulled Eva against her and hugged her tightly.

  Eva’s eyes closed as she held on to Casey. She put her right hand on Casey’s lower back, where her shirt had ridden up an inch or two. Eva tried to control her breathing as her pinkie skimmed the bare area.

  “I could stay like this all night,” Casey said softly into Eva’s neck. Her warm breath sent an obvious shiver down Eva’s spine.

  “But we should get you back to your party,” Eva said, standing awkwardly.