About That Kiss

by Cindy Miles

  Nathan sank to the step beside her; not too close, but close enough that she felt his presence. The brush of his shoulder against hers as he shifted. His scent—something clean, something subtle—whispering by her nostrils. She wanted him to go away. To stop bothering her, to leave her and Willa alone.

  She wanted to know everything about him.

  Ever since that evening on the dock, when Nathan had taught Willa how to drop a crab line, she’d been curious about him.

  He hadn’t left her mind since.

  “So,” she began, taking control of her voice. “What brings you out into the night?” Eyeing his profile in the shadows, she again noticed his rugged features, straight nose, revealed by the hair he’d pulled back. She had no doubt that beneath that beard lay a sharp, strong jaw, as both his brothers, his father and even Jep had the same. Muscles in Nathan’s chest, his biceps, pulled at the black T-shirt he wore. Sean’s fingers dug into her thighs, and she waited for him to answer.

  “Well,” he said in that ever-so-slight Carolina drawl. He stared down at first, seemingly at his hands as they rested against his jeans-clad legs. Hesitation. A little shy, maybe?

  Then he turned to her, and Nathan’s gaze found hers. “To tell you the truth, ma’am, I can’t quite seem to get you off my mind.”

  Scratch that. Definitely not shy.

  “I’d like to take you out. On a date.” He cleared his throat. “Just me and you, if you’d like to.”

  Sean felt heat blaze to her cheeks, and she was thankful for the darkness. Fear also scorched her, leaving her unsure and uncertain. Part of her—she wasn’t quite sure which part—was flattered. She wanted to go. Wanted to bask in his strength, his quiet masculinity. Wanted to feel special.

  The other part—the part that kept her moving from town to town, from one part of the country to the other—stalled. His request confused her. It excited her. It flustered her.

  “I—That’s nice of you, but I have Willa,” she stuttered. Great. Now she was stuttering. No one had made her react so crazily in a long, long time. That fight-or-flight reaction was overtaking her, even though she wasn’t sure which path to take.

  Nathan held up a hand. “Don’t get me wrong—I’m not trying to ditch Willa. Honest to God, you have the cutest kid I’ve ever met,” he said with a chuckle. “And I plan on showing her a big time on the Fourth. Besides, Emily and Jep have all but been fighting over who gets to spend more time with her.” He smiled. “Jep wants to teach her to play chess. And Em wants a baking buddy.” He ducked his head, looked at the step beneath him, then lifted his gaze to hers. It was solemn. Fathomless. Fearful. Fearless. All of those emotions flashed in his green eyes.

  “I’d just like to take a pretty girl on a picnic,” he finally said. “Would you? Go with me?”

  Sean couldn’t tear her gaze from Nathan’s. She didn’t know him. She hadn’t been on a date in...she couldn’t recall. So many years—a lifetime ago. She hadn’t left Willa’s side since her birth, either.

  No, Sean didn’t know Nathan. Not really. Yet somehow, she sensed it had taken quite a lot for him to come to this place. To ask her out on a date. She speculated briefly if he didn’t do it often—go on dates, that is. She didn’t know for sure, but he wasn’t behaving the way guys who routinely ask women out typically did. Nathan rose from his place on the step, shifted his stance and shoved his hands in his pockets. He seemed about as nervous as she felt.

  She’d been so reserved with him in his company—even the very thought of spending any time with him was something Sean had vehemently pushed from her mind. Yet, somehow, he had broken through that wall she’d built around herself. That protective wall that forbade any and all trespassers. Before, she’d been concerned about Willa’s safety. After spending time with the Malones, she’d come to realize that the only danger there would be their breaking hearts when she and Willa would have to say goodbye. Perhaps Nathan could be her one exception. Even if for just a little while.

  He definitely was a solid male figure in Willa’s life. And that was something she’d been missing out on. Perhaps Sean’s rationale all this time had been off. Willa needed more than her mother. She needed someone strong. Someone with integrity. That someone might be Nathan.

  And, of course, there were those butterflies. The first Sean had had in forever.

  Strangely, she found herself smiling. Her rebellious lips tugged at her face, without her permission. And then her head bobbed. Actually nodded an answer before words left her lips.

  “I will,” she answered softly. “I’ll go with you.”

  Nathan grinned—a wide, true smile that pulled at the corners of his eyes. “Yeah?”

  Again, Sean nodded. “Yeah,” she replied, repeating his word of enthusiasm. “You’re sure Willa won’t be any trouble? Other than a big talker, she’s a good girl.”

  “I know she is,” he stated. “And no—no trouble at all. She’ll meet her talking match with old Jep.” He looked at her then, and his eyes softened, and Sean felt something she hadn’t felt for so very long. Trust. Which terrified her, since she barely knew him.

  Yet Nathan put her at ease with that simple, humble admission that he’d been unable to get her off his mind. Honest. He was definitely that.

  “I’m really glad you said yes, Sean Jacobs.”

  “You might not think so later. I’m...a little rusty at this dating thing,” she admitted.

  “That makes two of us,” Nathan answered, then he rose. “Does tomorrow sound too pushy?” he said with a chuckle.

  Sean stood, and although Nathan was a step below her, he still stood taller. She looked up. “A little,” she teased. Teased? “Tomorrow’s fine,” she said hurriedly, when something that seemed like fear or doubt passed over his gaze. “What time?”

  His stare didn’t leave hers. “How’s four sound?”

  “Four o’clock is fine.”

  Nathan gave a short nod. “Great. I’ll pick you and Willa up.” He started down the steps then paused to look over his shoulder. “Shorts and sneakers are fine. But bring a long-sleeved shirt if you have one.”

  “Ah,” she said as he slipped into the shadows. “A shorts-and-sneakers kind of picnic date.”

  “Yep,” he said from the darkness. “You won’t be sorry!”

  Sean stood there in silence, beneath the moonlight and the magnolias, amid the crickets and night bugs, and everything Cassabaw, and smiled.

  Yeah, she knew what would come later. The worry. The guilt. The fear. And the disappointment. It always did. But for now? She’d have a tiny slice of normal.

  She’d worry about the later, well, later.

  * * *

  “GODALMIGHTY, SON, YOU look like an escapee of some sort. I can’t believe that pretty girl even said yes to you. Why don’t you shave that beard off? Maybe cut some of that hair?”

  “Jep, I’ll give you a hundred bucks if he shaves that beard and cuts that hair,” Eric, Nathan’s youngest brother, said. He slipped Nathan a conspirator’s grin. “Make it two hundred.”

  “I’m not shaving or cutting anything,” Nathan said. Nerves had his stomach in knots. He hadn’t slept a wink all night long. The last thing he was going to do was...shave and cut.

  “I can’t believe she said yes,” Jep repeated.

  “Dad,” Owen chided. “Leave the boy alone.”

  “What? He used to wear it high and tight,” Jep complained, referring to the military-style haircut they’d all sported while they served. “Looked presentable. Like a decent young man. Now he looks like a miscreant.”

  “Ha! A miscreant. Jep, yours isn’t high and tight,” Eric added, biting into a sandwich. He perched against the counter, pointing with his sandwich. “Look at all that white hair, sticking out all over the place. You look like Einstein.”

  “When you’re
ninety, you can do what you want, look like you want,” Jep remarked, then took off his USCG hat and ran his fingers through his hair. It stuck up every which way. “Besides, the ladies like it this way.”

  Eric burst out laughing, and Nathan just shook his head. “I’ll be back.” He started for the door then glanced over his shoulder. “When they get here, don’t,” he warned, giving his sibling and grandfather a scowl.

  “Don’t what?” Eric asked.

  “Just...don’t,” Nathan said, and walked out the door. Behind him, his grandfather and brother both chuckled. He pointed at Jep. “You look like you just escaped from the asylum.”

  Eric and Jep laughed harder.

  They were plotting against him, and he knew it.

  He didn’t care.

  She had said yes. Unbelievably.

  No amount of hacking would sour his mood.

  He was closing in on thirty years of age. He wasn’t afraid of a date.

  He most definitely wasn’t afraid of some family ribbing.

  The moment Nathan drove into Sean’s drive, his stomach snarled. He almost stopped the truck. Then, he did. Putting it in Park, he stared down the lane. What in God’s name had he been thinking? Where did he think this date would go? With her boxes still packed in the living room, and him knowing virtually nothing about her, it was probably going nowhere except...a picnic. A mom and her kid and him, along with his guilt over Addie. He’d thought to talk to Sean about Addie. Nothing heavy, just...talk. He had a feeling he was stepping right into it, as Jep would say.

  Nathan took a deep, calming breath. “Let it go, Malone. Man up. Don’t be a chickenshit.” He took another deep breath. Blew it out slowly. “Just step in it.”

  With that self-criticism and pep talk, he put the old truck in gear and started toward Sean’s house. The lane opened up and the house with its wide porch appeared before him. Sean and Willa both sat on the steps, waiting. Both wore white shorts and little blue sneakers. Willa had on a pink shirt and her wings, while Sean had on a blue tank top. Willa leaned over and kissed her mama on the cheek.

  That knot sitting in his stomach leaped to his throat.

  He’d never seen anything sweeter in his life.

  Yup. He was stepping into it, all right.

  Stopping the truck, he put it in Park and jumped out. “You girls ready?” He hoped he pulled off nonchalant as well as he thought he did.

  “We are!” exclaimed Willa, and she bounded off the porch. She skidded to a halt inches in front of him, and looked up. She had one big blue eye pinched shut, as if in serious, intense concentration. “What did you say King Jep was going to teach me?”

  Nathan grinned. “Chess.” He squatted down on one knee so he could be eye level with her. “Willa, if you’re unsure about staying with King Jep and Miss Emily, you can come with me and your mom.” He winked at her. “I won’t mind a bit.”

  Willa studied him, as though weighing his offer someplace deep in her mind. Then she placed her little hand on his shoulder and gave him a gentle pat. “Thanks, but I’m okay. I like King Jep. He’s funny. Besides—” she leaned closer, to keep the words only for Nathan’s ears “—my mom never has any fun.” Her dark eyebrows furrowed. “Make her have some fun, Captain Nathan.”

  Nathan returned her serious expression. “Yes, ma’am.”

  When he rose, Nathan’s gaze met Sean’s. She watched him closely then smiled and silently mouthed the words thank you. He returned a single nod.

  The girls piled into the cab of the truck, and Nathan made his way down the drive. Willa sat in the middle and chattered the entire way to the Malone house. About everything from fairies to cemetery ghosts to eating spaghetti to swimming off the dock to flesh-eating amoebas. Each subject bled right into the next one.

  His grandfather was waiting on the front porch, sitting in his favorite rocker. When Nathan pulled the truck up, Jep rose. He adjusted the bill of his cap and pulled it down, then tilted his head up to look at them.

  “’Bout time you got here,” he called out. “My chessboard is getting cold.”

  Willa jumped from the truck and ran up the porch steps. She tilted her head back as Jep looked down. Neither said a word for a moment, both just...staring. Studying. Weighing. Finally, Jep broke.

  “What’re you looking at, fairy girl?” he asked.

  The five-year-old stared a moment longer. “I’m trying to see behind your eyeballs and into your brain, King Jep. To see what you’re thinking.”

  “Huh. Is that so? What do you see?”

  Willa put her hands on her narrow little hips. “I can’t tell you. It’s a secret.”

  “I hate secrets,” Jep muttered. “Well, come on, then. Let’s go set the chess table up.” Halfway to the door, he glanced over his shoulder. “We’re playing alfresco, down by the river.”

  “Yay! Did you hear that, Mama?” Willa squealed. She ran down the steps and threw her arms around Sean’s waist. “I love you, Mama,” she said.

  Sean hugged her tightly and kissed her cheek. “I love you, too, baby. Be kind to King Jep, okay?”

  “I will!”

  Then Willa grabbed Nathan in a similar hug, tightly around the waist. “Bye, Captain Nathan!”

  Nathan swallowed hard and patted Willa’s head. “See ya, fairy princess.”

  Willa took off and bound up the porch, and she and Jep then entered their own world, effectively ignoring Nathan and Sean.

  Nathan grinned. “Looks like a recipe for disaster to me,” he said.

  Sean laughed softly, and Nathan found he liked the sound. “I think Jep will need a big nap after we get back.”

  She was probably right.

  Nathan inclined his head toward the house. “Ready?”

  An expression of confusion passed through Sean’s large eyes. “So...not in the truck?”

  “Not in the truck.”

  “So where?”

  Nathan indicated toward the house. Rather, the side of the house. That led around to the dock. “You’ll see.”

  She smiled at him. Hesitant. A little unsure. And her cheeks stained red.

  In that moment, Nathan thought he’d never seen anything more endearing. It’d been the right thing to ask Sean out on a date.

  It felt right. For the first time in a long, damn while, he felt right.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  AS HER HANDSOME, charming neighbor led the way toward the dock, Sean felt a myriad emotions. Fear, of course. Excitement. Curiosity.

  Guilt. For leaving Willa, although she seemed completely content being left with Jep.

  For keeping secrets. Although she’d never told Nathan that she and Willa were staying on Cassabaw, the omission still gnawed at her. While she hadn’t dated in ages, she wasn’t ignorant of how things worked. A man asked a woman out when he was interested. Interest led to...other things. For some, perhaps, there were no strings attached. But she had Willa. And they were leaving. And part of her wanted to blurt it out right away, just to keep from harboring information from Nathan or his family. They were so genuine, and had opened their home to her and Willa. It bothered her to keep secrets now.

  She and Willa wouldn’t stay beyond summer’s end. She knew it was unfair to Nathan to accept his offer of a mysterious date. Yet, for the first time in a really, really long time, Sean felt incapable of saying no. Of running. Hiding. Slipping further into her invisible world. She was tired and wanted to just...feel. But was it right to do so, all the while knowing she’d be gone in a couple of months? Before, she had no problem moving. No problem keeping her and Willa private. Not getting involved. Not reaching out.

  This time, Nathan had changed her mind.

  And she’d said yes.

  And it terrified her. Now she could see why. It scared her to think she might
make an emotional connection with Nathan, with his family, only to disappear at summer’s end. She didn’t like feeling vulnerable, and she hated even more for someone else to see that vulnerability. Nathan at once frightened her and soothed her fears. It was...beyond confusing. Selfishly, she didn’t want all of those consuming thoughts to ruin the first date she’d had in forever with such a nice guy.

  “Okay, watch your step,” Nathan said, drawing Sean from her thoughts. She lifted her gaze to see him watching her closely. He’d already climbed onto the deck of the Tiger Lily, and he leaned forward, hand outstretched, a smile tugging at his mouth as he waited for her to take it.

  Sean placed her hand in Nathan’s, and he pulled her on board.

  “Thank you,” she said shyly, and then looked around. The Tiger Lily was a well-used trawler, smelling slightly salty, slightly sea-ish, yet the decks were scrubbed clean, and the wheel shone in the afternoon sunlight. A smile touched her lips. A pirate’s ship.

  “What’s so funny?” Nathan asked, leading her to the bow of the boat.

  Sean looked into Nathan’s striking eyes. They twinkled, as though amused by something. She gave a nonchalant shrug. “Nothing, really. Other than it’s my first time on a pirate’s ship.”

  Nathan laughed. “Anchor away!” he hollered with a pirate’s accent.

  As they pulled away from the dock, Jep and Willa stood close to the bank, waving. Sean waved back and watched her daughter grab the old man’s hand to help him over to the chess table, set up on the dock.

  How had this family already infiltrated their lives? Willa’s openness and enthusiasm to connect with people was both heartwarming and heartstopping for Sean. Heartwarming in that her daughter lacked fear. She was bold, brave and had an abundance of affection for people. At the same time, she was capable of stopping Sean’s heart because Willa might not recognize people she shouldn’t connect with. Not everyone was like the Malone family. The very thing that made Willa Jacobs happy could be the very thing that brought danger on them both. At times, it left Sean with such a heavy heart, she could feel the weight of it, like an anvil, pressing hard, pressing down.