Avoiding Commitment

by craziebabe45

  "Jack."

  He looked exactly as she remembered him. Maybe a bit more handsome. He leaned against the kitchen doorframe, one leg crossed over another, hands resting in his pockets staring at her with his piercing blue eyes. His shaggy brown hair was at her favorite length, just before he needed a haircut. Black slacks with charcoal pinstripes hung loosely on his narrow hips. A black long-sleeve button-up was open at the neck where a charcoal tie had been pulled loose from its proper place; a matching overcoat had been left unbuttoned. A smirk crossed over his face as his eyes scanned her scantily clad body. Lexi couldn't really be embarrassed that he saw her in her ridiculously small night clothes. Let's just be honest, he had seen her in less.

  She could feel her heart through her chest like a marathon runner at the sight of him. Her body felt frozen in place. She hadn't been prepared for this. She assumed she would have all morning to look presentable, and get herself into the right state of mind. Then, she would have been able to face him. But this was completely unexpected. What was he doing here? He wasn't supposed to be back until tomorrow.

  His smirk widened at her apparent shock. "I guess surprise doesn't really cover it, does it?" he asked her, bending forward and retrieving the loose pieces of her cell phone that had scattered across the cool tile floor.

  "Not...not exactly," she warbled. She watched as he slid the battery back into place, secured the backing, and switched it on. Lexi felt a chill run down her spine when his gaze returned to her. Reaching out, he handed her back the cell phone letting their hands brush briefly. Lexi commended herself for not flinching. "So," she began clearing her throat, "what are you doing here?"

  "I live here," he said smiling down on her.

  Lexi rolled her eyes. "Jack, come on. What are you doing here? You weren't supposed to get in until tomorrow."

  "Wow, Lex," he said using her pet name as if it had been only yesterday when he had been in New York City with her, "no, hello how are you? No, oh my God, I've missed you? Not even a hug? What the hell?"

  Lexi couldn't help herself. She giggled. This was the Jack she knew and loved. "Hello. How are you? Oh my God, I've missed you," she said tossing her phone onto the counter. She swung her arms around him in earnest knocking her body against his in abandon. He pulled her into him gently wrapping his arms around her slight waist. What she had intended to just be a short almost dismissive hug had instantly changed as she felt him breathe her in.

  "I know you were just joking, but it really is good to see you," he whispered into her ear.

  When they pulled away, she watched as Jack took an extra step farther from her. His eyes had gone crystal clear blue, and seemed to be looking straight through her. She knew what that look meant, and every muscle in her body willed her to step forward into him. It was with great effort that she broke his determined stare and took another step backwards. This was going to be harder than she had thought.

  Lexi reached up and brushed her hair behind her ears several times anxiously. It was a habit she had never been able to kick. Even as she did it, she knew she was giving herself away, but she really couldn't help it. As if saved by the bell, her phone began to buzz noisily on the countertop. Knee jerk reaction Lexi swiveled and silenced the noise. She glanced down at the screen groaning as she saw the hairline fracture across the surface. "Hey," she said answering the line.

  "What the fuck happened Alexa?" Chyna screamed into the other line. "I've been trying your cell for five minutes. Are you okay? Did something happen? Were you robbed?"

  Lexi could hear the concern evident in her voice. Suddenly, Chyna sounded sober, and very serious. Not one ounce of her previous whimsical attitude showed through. Zero thoughts of Chyna or really anything considered to be coherent had filtered through her head after Jack had entered the room. She was ashamed that she hadn't called Chyna back right away. She felt even worse knowing that without her phone call she wouldn't have remembered at all.

  "No, no, nothing like that. I was just surprised, and I dropped my phone."

  "What could possibly surprise you to the point of not calling me back?" she asked. Lexi contemplated answering that, but didn't get the chance as Chyna gasped on the other line. "You said he wasn't going to be there."

  Lexi glanced up at Jack who eyed her humorously. She could practically read his thoughts. Ha. Ha. You're in some shit now. A blush crept up her neck and landed a light pink hue on her cheeks. Chyna was practically screaming through the other line, and Lexi wasn't sure if Jack was able to hear her. "I don't know what you're talking about," she said lying through her teeth.

  Jack raised an eyebrow and mouthed to her, "I thought we were over that."

  He meant the lying, but Lexi just shrugged her shoulders ignoring his penetrating gaze. She had no desire whatsoever to talk to Chyna about Jack's unexpected arrival, especially not while he was standing directly in front of her listening to every word. "Alexa, you know exactly what I am talking about! You cannot be alone with him under any circumstances. We talked about this. Remember?"

  Chyna was speaking so loudly that, Lexi had to pull the phone away from her ear. "Yes, I know we talked about this. But your concerns are completely irrelevant," she stated sharply.

  "Don't bullshit me, Alexa Mae Walsh!" Lexi couldn't help laughing. The only time Chyna ever called her by her full name was when she absolutely livid which made the whole situation even funnier to Lexi. Her endorphins were completely taking over; she could hardly find it in herself to care what anyone thought.

  "Calm down. Calm down," Lexi shushed her, feeling self-conscious as Jack continued to watch the stand-off intently. She tried to avert her eyes as he effortlessly stripped his jacket off and held it in his arms. He just looked so good it was hard to resist staring.

  "I'm not calm, damn it!"

  "I realize that. But I have to go," Lexi said abruptly, already wanting out of the conversation.

  "No, you need to leave. Go catch a cab. On me," she added hastily.

  "Love ya chica," Lexi said closing the phone lightly.

  Her phone lit up in her hand again, but she switched it to silent, and turned the screen face down. No more interruptions. The stillness in the room was disconcerting. Last time she had been alone with Jack, she had been in a state of hysterics. Life with Jack in general was a state of hysterics. The rollercoaster her emotions rode when in his presence sent her stomach rolling and every nerve ending standing at full attention. The strange euphoria that had settled over her at the familiar touch of his hands encircling her had dissipated with Chyna's urgent cautionary

  reminder.

  He was not supposed to be here.

  Even more important, Lexi had sworn she would not be entrapped by him again; that included finding herself alone with him.

  "Well, it was nice seeing you." Lexi began edging towards the doorframe. Unfortunately, he didn't move a single inch. She felt her breasts, covered only by a thin piece of flimsy material, brush against his arm as she passed. Holding in a gasp, she walked as quickly as possible towards the guest bedroom.

  "Nice seeing you?" he questioned following her down the hallway. "We haven't spoken in two years, I surprise you her, and all you have to say is nice seeing you?" Lexi let her nails dig into her palm. The jolt of pain was the only thing holding her back from violently snapping at him. "Well it's nice seeing you too," Jack retorted, his tone resolving to calm neutral.

  She forced a half smile in his direction. Clicking the tiny button at the rear of her suitcase, Lexi felt the arm release. Her hand extended forward retrieving the rest of her luggage.

  "What are you doing?"

  The earnest in his voice surprised her, and she looked up into those clear blue eyes in surprise. Something had changed. A flicker of doubt cast across her features; her mouth formed a circle with a question hanging off her delicate lips.

  "You can't leave," he stated simply; a command not a request.

  Lexi shook her head. This was so typical. "I can and I will."

/>   "Lex, please, I don't want you to leave."

  "I know this might come as a surprise to you, but it's not always about you, contrary to what you may think you know, I don't care what you want," Lexi said fighting to keep her cool.

  He repositioned himself in a similar fashion in the doorframe. "You wouldn't be here if you didn't."

  "I didn't come here for you," she spat.

  He nodded his head in mock agreement. "Then why did you come?"

  "I came here for your lousy fiancé. I came here," she pasued, slowly walking towards him, "to help her not make the same mistake that I did." Anger continued to well up inside her especially since his expression had yet to change at her remarks.

  "That's nice, except for the part about my fiancé. I don't have one." A smart-ass smirk made its way ever-so-slightly onto his face.

  "Oh details," she said waving her hand in the air dismissively.

  "I'd say that's a fairly important detail."

  "Either way. She is your girlfriend. Right? That hasn't changed overnight?" Jack shook his head confirming that nothing had changed. "Well then, I should be going." She grabbed a hold of her rolling suitcase and walked towards the exit.

  "Would you stay if she wasn't my girlfriend?" he asked letting her pass by him.

  She stopped abruptly and turned. Her lips were tight; jaw set. "You never change."

  "Oh come on. I'm teasing you," he said reaching forward and touching her hand, gently extracting the suitcase from her grip. "If you feel that offended that I came back all the way from Nashville just to see you, to make sure you were alright, then fine, leave. I'll hail you a cab or drive you myself."

  A flustered sigh came out of her mouth. How could he always do this? Somehow he had turned everything against her. Now, she was the bad guy for trying to storm out of his house. She was the bad guy for wanting to leave when he had made all the effort to get her to stay. She was the bad guy despite his unexpected, unwelcome appearance.

  "Maybe you should do that," she managed to get out. She felt terrible even though she knew that it was the right thing to do. She couldn't be here. Their history prevented them from being casual, from being just friends.

  His face dropped. He'd been expecting her to give in. "You really mean that? You don't even want to hang out for an hour? A half hour?" he pleaded. "For old time's sake?"

  "Jack I can't. You can't ask that of me." Her voice came out just louder than a whisper.

  Still grasping the handle of her suitcase, he yanked it around and protectively placed it behind him. "I am asking it of you." He took a step closer. "What do you really think is going to happen? Things are different now, Lex."

  As she stared up into his gorgeous blue eyes, she couldn't help thinking that things weren't that different for her. He had obviously moved on and rather quickly, but that was not the way it had happened in her world. She had tried to move on...unsuccessfully. Deep down she knew that if he bent down to kiss her just then, she wouldn't have been able to resist him. As much as that fact irritated her, it was the truth. Even after everything. Her throat was closing up making it difficult for her to swallow. How could she turn him down when all she wanted to do was stay and be near him?

  "Look, I just want you to feel comfortable. If I can only have ten minutes of your time before tomorrow, then I guess I could settle for that. If you'd rather me leave, and come back in the morning when we were scheduled to meet, I can do that too. Or if you'd rather us hang out all night reminiscing even if means we must be on separate couches," he added flirtatiously, "that would be the option I'd prefer."

  She hesitated before speaking. "Jack I..."

  "You're going to say you can't, but you can. You just won't," he said taking a step into her personal space. She could feel the heat coming off of his body, and smell the cologne he wore that took her mind places it shouldn't.

  "Stop, just stop," she murmured stumbling backwards. "You know what you're doing, and you can just stop that. If I'm going to stay, it will be because I want to. Not because you are using all your damn seductive magical powers on me."

  He looked amused as he gazed down the hallway at her. "I have magical powers now?"

  "Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about." She glared at him.

  He held his hands up in defeat. "Fine. Magical powers it is. Now will you please stay?"

  "Fine," she stated only partially reluctant, "I'll stay."

  His smile was electric, as compelling as ever. He marched down the hall and threw his arms around her lifting her effortlessly off the ground. A giggle escaped her lips as she latched onto him for support. He quickly placed her back on her feet not wanting to press his luck.

  After a short break in which Jack changed into a familiar faded green t-shirt and black athletic shorts, the pair arranged themselves on separate couches in the living room. Jack flipped on the TV setting ESPN's college football predictions as background noise. Lexi lounged back against the brown suede. Her eyes took in the space focusing in on things she hadn't previously noticed. Two copies of Sports Illustrated, a week old Wall Street Journal, and a corner of Maxim were laid out against the walnut coffee table. Heavy black marble coasters sat in a neat stack within a matching enclosure. A vintage lamp sat atop a corner table. There wasn't a single picture frame in the room. As she thought about it, she couldn't remember there being a single picture frame in the whole house similar to an army barracks. When they had been in college, he had an array of picture frames of his family at his parent's country house when he was younger, ridiculous acts captured with him among his college friends, and some amazing photos he had taken himself when he had been in a photography class for a semester. Now, none of that was here. It was like he had erased his past. Lexi felt suddenly out of place. She was a part of his past that he had so easily gotten rid of. She let her eyes rest back on Jack as she tucked her hair behind her ears several times knowing full well she was giving herself away.

  "Why are you so nervous?" he asked, resting his arm across the back of the couch and fixing her with an attentive gaze.

  "I'm not nervous," she mumbled.

  "You're doing that thing with your hair," he said pointing it out just as a lock was placed behind her ear. She caught herself doing it and quickly snapped her hand down to her side. "It's kind of endearing, but you always do it when you're nervous or anxious."

  "Well…I haven't seen you in a long time. I just can't believe I'm actually here."

  "I can't believe you're actually here either."

  Lexi's eyes made their way back to him. "Hey, that shirt!"

  He looked down at what he was wearing. "Yeah?"

  "Oh my God, you're wearing the carnival shirt," she said seeing the worn outline of a Ferris wheel.

  "Oh yeah. I guess it is. It's the most comfortable thing I own." She stared longer her mind whirling. "Do you still have yours?"

  She giggled convulsively then sprinted to the guest bedroom. When she returned, she had a flimsy green shirt in her hand. The material had several tiny tears. It had been washed and worn so many times it was practically sheer. He nodded his approval only mildly surprised that she still owned the thing. She tossed the shirt onto the back of the couch and lounged back again.

  After a brief pause, Lexi spoke up again. "So what did Danielle and Kate tell the new girl? I mean I'm guessing that's who she talked to."

  "Yeah, she met both of them. It was almost as strange as calling you. Well maybe not quite that strange." Her eyes narrowed when he winked at her and stuck out his tongue. "Anyway, Danielle agreed immediately. Thankfully, she had no qualms about meeting Bekah. Her and I broke up on good enough terms, you know, for it not to be an issue."

  Lexi giggled. "That's not how I remember it."

  "Luckily, that's how she remembered it," he said sighing. "I haven't spoken to her much since then, but her sister lives in Atlanta now so she came and stayed with her for the weekend."

  "Does she still live in Savannah?" Lexi though
t it was humorous that she was able to have this conversation at all. When she had first found out that Danielle even existed, she was so furious that she was certain she would never talk to Jack again, let alone spend time with him.

  "Yeah. She's married now to some redneck that dropped out of high school the year I graduated. He's a real winner," he added smugly. "She's raising his two kids from a previous marriage, and she's pregnant with another. You could only just tell when she was here. Anyway, she told Bekah our story; that we dated in high school and my first year or so of college. The distance thing," he stated vaguely, "didn't work out for us, and so we broke up. End of story."

  "So nothing about me then?" Lexi asked just trying to get all the information she could.

  "Uh...I never told her about you," Jack said shifting uncomfortably.

  "Oh, well that's probably for the better," she said trying not to convey her emotions too strongly. There had been plenty of reasons for Jack and Danielle breaking up. The distance and Lexi were just two of the many. But if Danielle hadn't said anything about the others, Lexi wasn't going to be the one to bring them up. "What about Kate? Obviously she brought me up, so I'm sure her story was interesting," she stated sarcastically.

  "Ugh," he groaned. "Do we have to talk about Kate? I know how you feel about her. I know how she feels about you. And now Bekah knows how Kate feels about you. And let's just say, it wasn't a conversation I wanted to be present for."

  "Oh," Lexi replied slightly taken aback. She hadn't really thought about what Kate might have said about her beyond the usual. Lexi had been so concerned with what she was going to tell Bekah, that it hadn't even crossed her mind what Kate might have said about her. "Did she claim that I was the reason that you wouldn't commit to her?" she asked finally.

  He let out a puff of air. "Not exactly, but you didn't help anything either."

  "Me? You were the one…"

  He cut her off. "I said, let's not talk about Kate."

  She quieted, her chest heaving up and down in a familiar burst of anger. "Fine."