Avoiding Commitment

by craziebabe45

  "Do not lie to your best friend."

  "I'm not lying," she quickly corrected. "I'm just...on a date." Ramsey's bright smile at the recognition of their date was totally worth it. This guy seriously had everything going for him. Which begged the question what was he doing with her? But she couldn't think about that right now.

  "What?" Chyna squealed. Then thinking the better of it, she asked, "With whom? Jack? It better not be Jack. Your vague texts over the past two days haven't been enough. Fill me in. What's going on?"

  "Chyna, I'm kind of in the middle of something here," Lexi reminded her.

  "Oh geez, Alexa, I'm sorry. I'll let you go, but I better get some details. You know how long I've been waiting for this to happen. If you don't call me by tomorrow..."

  Lexi cut her off. "Good night Chyna." Lexi closed the phone and turned the damn thing off not wanting another such distraction. "I'm so sorry. I'm usually not this popular," she admitted smiling at Ramsey who just shrugged off the statements.

  "No problem at all. Was that someone from home?"

  "Yeah, my best friend," she told him.

  Luckily, there were no interruptions for the remainder of the evening. The two managed idle chit chat with little interrogation or their normal rude behavior towards one another. The sun set as they finished their meal and an announcement went out signifying the beginning of the laser show. Lexi got lost in the twirling lights and loud popular music blasting from the speakers. She couldn't believe that they were capable of displaying scenes to go along with the music large enough to cover the entire side of the mountain. The couple had involuntarily snuggled closer together as the show continued. Ramsey had even ventured to lace his fingers with hers.

  When the show ended, the surrounding families and groups began to pack up. Lexi sighed finding it strange that she was actually sad that the evening was coming to an end. She began to pull away from him to stand up, but he pulled her back down.

  "It's not over yet," he muttered into her ear.

  "But everyone's..." she began gesturing to the crowd.

  "Just wait a second," he said smiling down at her.

  Lexi glanced around hoping to find out what he was talking about. Half of the people were already exiting the lawn and they hadn't even moved yet. She knew it would take awhile to get out of the park and was ready to start the long ride back to his place. If there was more to come, then no one else had been informed. Just as she was about to get up again and tell him that he had been misinformed, a large pop sounded from the mountain.

  Lexi's eyes darted up to the sky in terror. Had a gunshot just gone off? Then her eyes brightened as a red firework exploded covering the night sky. Lexi squealed in surprise. There were never fireworks this time of the year. They only ever had fireworks for the week of the Fourth of July. The surrounding crowd had halted their urgent packing to look up at the shimmering colors falling towards the earth. Several more fireworks erupted from their perspective locations producing earsplitting booms and crackling popcorn. Lexi stared on in wonder as more and more fireworks colored the sky.

  "I can't believe they did this," she whispered into the night. "I didn't think they normally do fireworks this late in the season."

  "They don't."

  Lexi shifted her gaze momentarily to stare into Ramsey's shining green eyes. "They don't? You mean...you did this?" she asked putting the pieces together.

  He smiled at her cupping her chin in his hands. "I thought you'd like the surprise."

  She couldn't do much more than nod before his lips touched hers gently. She knew they had kissed the night before, but she had been drunk at that point and acting without inhibitions. This kiss occurred because she wanted it to. It was gentle and brief, but he sure did taste wonderful. She had no idea how he still tasted of peppermints. She hadn't seen him eat one or anything. When he pulled away, she couldn't help but whimper at the loss of his warmth. He chuckled and placed one more kiss on her lips just as the fireworks displayed ended.

  He took her hand and pulled her to her feet. "Come on. Now we can go."

  "Shouldn't we pack this stuff up?" she asked looking at their feet.

  "Nah. I'll have someone take care of it. Let's get you back. I'm sure you're exhausted."

  Lexi filtered in and out of consciousness on the ride back to Ramsey's apartment. After the late night she had had the night before, all she felt like doing was sleeping. Her evening with Ramsey had been magical. She had been pleasantly surprised that he was capable of being well...human. She had such a terrible stigma against anyone from a Country Club that she had immediately thought he would be just like everyone else. And though at times, he did play that part, and obviously he had a good deal of wealth, she didn't feel like that was the main part of his character. He was able to be a fun-loving guy who just happened to have money rather than the other way around as she had expected.

  "I appreciate you taking me out and letting me stay here the night before," Lexi told him truthfully, pushing a piece of hair behind her ear. She followed him up the stairs to the front door. "I guess I should probably get a hotel or something tonight."

  He stopped and turned to look at her. "You could come inside if you like."

  Lexi gulped not feeling comfortable with the direction of that statement. She wasn't really prepared to take their relationship...or whatever it was to another level. "Uh...I don't think so."

  He scratched his head thoughtfully criticizing himself for how that must have come out. "Sorry. No. I didn't mean it to sound like that. I just mean that I have a guest bedroom. If you'd like to just stay here another night, you are more than welcome."

  "Oh, well..." She didn't know whether or not to accept the invitation. She was dead tired, and couldn't exactly afford a hotel. "I guess that's alright."

  Ramsey veered her towards the guest bedroom on the top floor leaving her to get dressed for the evening. She quickly changed into her own sleeping clothes and brushed her teeth. A soft knock sounded on the door and she quickly pulled it open. Ramsey stood before her in just a pair of athletic shorts. Her eyes traveled to his six pack and then back up. She gulped unsure if she would be able to control herself if he came into the room.

  "I just wanted to say a proper good night," he informed her bending his head and crushing their lips together. She breathed him in enjoying every bit of pressure he was exerting onto her lips. She could tell he was trying desperately to keep himself from going further just like she was. She wasn't exactly known for her ability to resist temptations. Her body was still flush against him when he pulled back his breathing ragged and his pupils dilated.

  "I...uh," he muttered pulling back a fraction of an inch.

  "Yeah," she agreed her own breathing coming out in short puffs.

  "You know you never did answer me earlier this evening," he said resting their foreheads together.

  "About?"

  "Will you accompany me to the birthday festivities?"

  "Sure," she said just as he captured her lips again. She moaned as his tongue slid against her own. Satisfied with her answer, he pulled back again.

  He cleared his throat and stepped back into the hallway. "Well good night."

  "Good night," she whispered closing the door and leaning back against it.

  "Shit," she muttered to the empty space. "What have I done now?"

  * * *

  K.A. Linde

  Way Too Late

  How, could I live with myself

  Knowing that I let our love go (love go)

  And ooh, when I do with one chance

  I just gotta let you know

  I know what I did wasn't clever

  But me and you we're meant to be together

  -Jason Derulo "Whatcha Say"

  * * *

  Chapter 14: December Two and a Half Years Earlier

  Bursting through the still unlocked door, Lexi darted into Jack's room. She could tell he had gotten up and showered just by looking at him. Her heart melted at the
sight. She was furious about what he had done, but her heart still longed for him. She wanted things to go back to the way they were only this morning. She wished with all her being that she didn't have to be angry at him.

  "Lexi what are you doing back already?" Jack asked surprise written on his face. "Are you okay? Have you been crying?" He rushed forward to meet her. She backed away not wanting to feel his hands on her.

  "How could you tell him?" she asked breaking down into tears for the second time that morning.

  "What are you talking about?" Jack asked glancing helplessly into Lexi's bloodshot eyes.

  "You told Clark about what happened. You told him everything."

  "Lexi."

  "How could you do that?"

  "Lexi…"

  "I've been lying to him for months and he confronts you about it one time and you tell him everything. And for what Jack?"

  "Lexi please let me…"

  "No! For what? What could you possibly gain from telling him? Do you think he'll spare Kate the knowledge of what we did? Because I don't."

  "Geez Lex, can you give me a minute?"

  "A minute? Oh yes, so you can try to explain? No I don't want your explanations. I already know what happened. You told him, he's going to tell Kate, and then leave me. All because you told him. I can't believe this is happening," she said her breath coming out uneven. She could feel the characteristic tingling feeling in her fingers and lips that let her know she was hyperventilating.

  "Lexi," he said stepping towards her, mouth hanging agape.

  "Don't touch me," she said pulling away from him. "I can't believe you."

  "Could you just listen to me for one goddamn minute?" he asked finally raising his voice to her.

  She stopped her rampage. "Fine, say what you wanna say."

  "I didn't talk to him. I didn't say anything."

  Lexi's eyes shot up to his face her heart full of hope. Then she shook her head. "How did he know? He said you told him everything. You must have told him Jack."

  "I told you I'd never lie to you again. Look at me. Lexi, look at me. Look in my eyes and tell me I'm lying."

  Her eyes lifted to him once again. She searched those beautiful blue eyes for some sign that he wasn't telling the truth. For anything that made him seem like he would tell her boyfriend to spare himself. Anything at all that said he didn't care about her. But she found nothing there. He looked as sincere as he could get.

  But how could she believe him? He could lie his way out of a lie detector test if need be. Perhaps he was just duping her all over again.

  "I...I don't know what to think. Why would Clark say that if it wasn't true?

  Jack's face had gone pale at the realization of what she had just said. In his earnest desire to let Lexi know he hadn't breathed word to Clark, he'd completely skipped by the fact that Clark did know which meant one thing: Lexi had told him. Clark had trapped her into admitting all. It was an amazing feat that he'd pulled it off at all, but he knew now. No more hiding.

  "He trapped you and you told him everything," he finally said soaking in the information that Clark knew...and Kate would soon follow. "Fuck."

  "Oh God, this is so fucked up," she cried falling to the couch. "He actually didn't talk to you. The conniving little..." she trailed off. It was useless to be angry at Clark. She should have told him in the first place and it was her fault that he'd had to find out this way. How could she have let this happen? How could she have let this thing with Jack spiral so far out of control?

  She was acting just like Jack had while he'd dated Danielle. Only three years ago, she'd screamed at him for doing less with her behind his girlfriends back. Now look at where she was. How had she changed this much over the past couple years? She would never have let herself get into his kind of position with anyone else.

  Damn it! Why did Jack do this to her? It was so exhilarating being in his presence that sometimes she felt like she never wanted to leave. After the amazing night they'd shared, she just couldn't believe they were sitting here like this. Less than twelve hours since that amazing kiss lying wrapped up in his arms and here they were arguing and freaked out about the people they were actually dating finding out. God, they were pathetic.

  Beyond that she had no idea what to do she'd come here ready to be angry at Jack for the rest of eternity, and now what? He hadn't done anything wrong. In fact, she'd been the one to spill the beans. If anything Jack should hate her, but the way he was looking at her said a different story. He looked like the same Jack to her maybe just a tad bit paler.

  "What are we going to do?" she whispered through her fingers. Her head rested in her hands and small tears trickled down her face collecting in a pool in her palms. She felt the sofa adjust next to her as Jack's weight shifted the cushion. He slowly brushed her hair back several times pushing a few loose strands behind her ear just like she habitually did.

  "We'll figure it out," he said soothingly.

  Lexi sobbed into her hands as he continued to stroke her hair. There was nothing he could do or say that would make her feel better at that moment. She was lost in her own misery.

  "Are you going to tell Kate?" Lexi asked finally looking up at him.

  His hand stilled at the nape of her neck as their eyes met. "I…uh…I dunno."

  "Jack, you know he's going to tell her about it. He was so angry. If you had seen him, you'd understand what I'm talking about."

  "Did he say he was going to tell her?" Jack asked him.

  "Uh…well no," Lexi admitted. She had just assumed that Clark would tell Kate everything. If she was in his position, that's what she would do. Jack had ruined Clark's life. It seemed only fitting for Clark to return the favor.

  "So maybe he won't tell her," he said wistfully.

  Lexi stood swiftly. "So what? You're just going to go on with your life?" she asked through her tears. "You're just going to go back to being happy-go-lucky Jack with Kate on his arm? I don't understand you at all. Even if he doesn't tell her, she's sure to find out. She's not all that bright, but she's not an idiot. She had to know something was up. Clark did."

  "I doubt she would find out," he said looking down.

  "What? How could you say that?"

  "Look you said it yourself. She's not as bright as Clark who obviously figured this all out on his own. If he didn't say anything about telling Kate, then maybe he's not going to tell her."

  "And you're not going to tell her?"

  He met her fierce gaze. "I don't see why I would."

  "Oh…you don't see why you would."

  "God, Lex, you wouldn't tell Clark if the positions were reversed." She didn't really want to think about that. She had no idea what she would do if the roles were reversed. "And anyway I would never let Kate have any idea what we were up to."

  Lexi gasped. "Are you implying that I set this up for him to find out?"

  "I'm not implying anything. Stop putting words in my mouth. All I'm saying is that there's no way you would tell Clark. You'd have no reason to tell him."

  Lexi's mouth just hung open. Was he serious? He could find no reason to tell his girlfriend that he'd been cheating on her? She sighed heavily. "I don't know what I would do, because circumstances aren't reversed, but I'd at least be smart about it."

  "Fine. Tell me how to be smart about all this. You think telling Kate is a smart decision? Well you're wrong. Kate and I have been together for years, and if I told her it would crush her."

  "Maybe you should have thought about that," Lexi said.

  "You think I didn't think about that? I fucking thought about it all the time. But you…I don't even know. Once I remembered what it was like to be with you, I didn't want to let it all go again." Lexi allowed herself a small smile at his admission. "But I wasn't ready to get rid of Kate either. And I'm still not ready to get rid of her."

  "But you're ready to get rid of me?"

  "No, that's not what I'm saying. God, I don't even know what I'm saying. All I know is that I can
't tell Kate just yet. I couldn't imagine being the one to crush her. She would never be the same."

  Lexi shook her head unable to believe everything he was saying. It was just like before except this time she knew about what was happening. She had allowed herself to get into this position for the second time with the same guy.

  Not that she had been prepared to let go of Clark, but that seemed to be the obvious course of action. This was something that wouldn't go unpunished. Clark was the kind of guy who could find a million different girls to be with, and he had chosen her. At the flip of a switch, he could have any other girl, and Lexi knew that when he eventually decided to talk to her again that would be the outcome.

  A part of her knew that was coming. It was inevitable that he was going to leave her. That inevitability wasn't in place for Jack. But even so, she couldn't even count the number of times she had thought about actually being with Jack in a relationship. She had imagined them together for so long, it was strange to see that for the third time they had screwed up beyond repair. Jack wasn't leaving Kate. Lexi knew it, but she couldn't come to grips with that reality. She had always assumed that if things broke apart in their relationships, that they would be together. Not that they would be apart. She had never believed they would be apart.

  "Jack, be realistic. She's going to find out one way or another. If you don't tell her, then Clark will. Then where will you stand?"

  "What do you expect me to do Lexi?" he asked standing forcefully. "Think about it. What would you do in my place? You have this great life with an amazing girlfriend who would do anything for you and you would just throw that all away?"

  Lexi had thought about it. She'd thought about being with him all the time. "If your life was so great, then what the fuck is this? What have we been doing since May?" she screamed gesturing between the two of them.

  "I don't know Lexi. God, I don't know. Give me some time to think about all this."

  Lexi's mouth dropped open. "You need some time to think? I didn't have any time to think when Clark confronted me."