Avoiding Commitment

by craziebabe45

  Goosebumps cascaded up her arms as they circled his neck. "I've missed you too," she admitted.

  When he pulled back, he rested his forehead against hers and closed his eyes breathing her in. "I'm sorry."

  "For what?" She couldn't believe this was happening to her. She felt like she was so drunk that perhaps she had passed out and was dreaming about Jack being here.

  "Don't ask that. I'm sorry for everything. I ended it with Kate. All I saw was you when I looked at her."

  "Me."

  "Yeah. I was an idiot for staying with her. You're what I want."

  "Me?"

  "Yes Lexi, you."

  "Oh," she whispered breathlessly, pushing her fingers up into his dark thick mess of hair and twisting the strands around her fingertips.

  "I shouldn't have come like this."

  "No you shouldn't have," she agreed shaking her head.

  He pulled back to look at her and her breath caught again as his brilliant blue eyes locked onto her. "I really am sorry for everything Lex."

  She nodded knowing he meant it. She let the memory of him telling her that he loved her for the first time wash over her. It had been so long since she had allowed herself to think of that without tears springing to her eyes. He was here for her. He'd come to New York for her.

  "I didn't mean to scare your friend."

  "Oh don't mind Chyna. She's probably already asleep. How did you get inside anyway?" she asked her brow furrowing.

  "One of your roommates let me in. I just told her I was a friend of yours and that I'd wait to see you," he said sheepishly.

  "Ugh," she groaned, "you could have been anyone. I'm going to have to talk to them about this."

  He pulled her closer against his again. "Well aren't you glad they didn't turn me away?" he asked his mouth turning into his characteristic smirk.

  "Very glad," she agreed allowing his lips fall on hers and savoring the taste of him. In fact, what was going on in her head was how glad she was that she hadn't gone home with Armani Guy, because what she had come home to was nothing compared to what she had found at a club. She applauded herself for her stubborn nature.

  "Lex?"

  "Yeah?" she mumbled licking her lips.

  "I love you."

  "I love you too," she said for the first time allowing herself to tell him how she really felt. Then she got lost in Jack's kiss once more.

  * * *

  Thanks to my awesome reviewers: Cupid's Psyche (and all her wonderful descriptions and giving away the plot), iris oasis (I really appreciated your review) and PeterMoore (for your patience with me getting chapters up)!

  K.A. Linde

  Something Special

  I used to be a little bit shy

  I kept my deepest feelings inside

  Speaking up to you about my

  Emotions has always been hard

  But this just can't wait

  Tonight I feel a little bit brave

  So I won't let one more day pass without you explaining what we are

  - Kelly Clarkson "Don't Let Me Stop You"

  * * *

  Chapter 17: Present

  "Mmm," Jack grumbled holding onto Lexi's waist tightly, "where ya goin?"

  Lexi sighed back into his embrace loving the feel of him pressed against her. At the same time, her stomach rolled knowing that she shouldn't be wrapped up in him like she was. She had been lying there half the morning her stomach knotting and unknotting for every thought she had about Jack. They had talked the night away and managed to stay closer to the friend's side of the spectrum, but she knew they couldn't stay there. She knew she didn't want to stay there. Nor did he. In fact, he had been the one that said that he wanted to be with her. Luckily, she had kept her wits about her just long enough to extract his lips from her and tell him she wanted him, but only if she could have all of him.

  Yet, it was still nagging at her. If she had really meant that, she would have left last night. She wouldn't have stayed up with him and imbibed a bottle of wine. She wouldn't have woken up this morning with his arms wrapped around her and his body pressed tight against her. He had a girlfriend, and the last thing she wanted him to be doing if they were to try to be together again would be to cheat on her. She shuddered at the thought her throat closing up as she attempted to swallow the bile that had threatened to escape at that image.

  "I…I'm going to make some coffee," she whispered attempting to extract his hands from around her middle.

  "No. Don't leave me Lex," he begged nuzzling into her neck and trailing light kisses across her skin.

  Her body reacted wonderfully to his touch forcing her back to arch and head to lean back. "Jack you can't do that."

  "But I wanna," he mumbled obviously still half-asleep. "You taste so good."

  She giggled at his slurred speech and attempted to push him away again. That only made him latch on harder to her. "Jack, come on."

  "I love it when you talk dirty," he muttered seductively, biting down on her earlobe.

  Lexi smacked him playfully on the arm and wiggled out of his embrace. "I'll be right back."

  "Don't be too long," he said his face nearly covered by the covers once again.

  Lexi trekked out of the room in nothing but her red boy short Victoria's Secret underwear and one of Jack's old band t-shirts that was much too big for her. She padded down the hallway and into the living room. Her eyes roamed the maze of candles displayed around the room and sighed heavily at the memory of last night. She had promised herself she wouldn't do this. Just as importantly, she had promised Chyna that she wouldn't do this to herself again, and it was going to be harder to calm Chyna down than herself. She knew Chyna wouldn't be happy with her, but there wasn't much she could do about the situation right now. All she had to do was wait around and see what would happen. Besides, of course, leaving the apartment and returning home this minute.

  But she couldn't do that. She physically was not capable of leaving him like this. Yes, things had happened in their past that kind of made her despise him. Yes, he was as arrogant as they came. Yes, he had a girlfriend who he had been thinking of marrying.

  Despite all that, she couldn't leave. She had wanted to be with Jack for so long that the thought of leaving him without finding out if they actually could be would just break her heart all over again. She knew that she had probably given him more chances than anyone else would have bothered with, but those women just didn't understand what she was going through. If they weren't willing to push through the hard times and truly savor the good times, then they didn't understand men at all. Everything wasn't always going to be peachy keen, and Lexi knew that, but she had been around Jack long enough to know how he works. And one thing she knew, the one thing that kept her going through it all, was how she felt about him.

  She had never wavered in her affection for him. Six years was a long time to wait for someone. And though times had been trying, Lexi knew deep down that Jack was what she had always wanted. Everything and everyone else had just been a distraction to help her forget him.

  Lexi pressed her cold hand to her head hoping to soothe out her concerns. Exhaustion was starting to set in and the last thing she needed was to add a headache to that mix. She fumbled around in her purse until she located her cell phone, then trudged into the kitchen and began brewing a pot of coffee.

  She had a missed call from her parents that she knew she ought to return right away. She was supposed to have gone home yesterday, but with everything that had happened with Jack, Ramsey, and Bekah, she hadn't been able to get away. Guilt pushed past exhaustion on the top of her list as she cleared away her parent's number, and punched Chyna's instead. She couldn't face her parents just yet. They would know something was up if she called them before downing a few cups of coffee first.

  Chyna picked up after a few rings, and by the sound of her voice, she must have still be sleeping. "Hmmm? Hello?" she mumbled into the phone.

  "Morning sunshine."

 
"Alexa is that you?"

  "Yep. Sorry I didn't call you back the other day."

  "I'm sorry, am I supposed to know you?" she grumbled irritably into the phone. "The Alexa I know never forgets a phone call."

  "Oh shush you. It's not like you don't forget to call me back."

  A long yawn escaped Chyna. "Fine. What's up? I'm sleeping."

  "Actually you're awake now." Lexi heard rustling on the other line and rolled her eyes.

  "I'm only half-awake. Hold on chica. Let me kick him out. I have no idea why he thought he could stay the night." A loud smacking sound could be heard and a howl from Lexi assumed the gentleman who had shared her bed the night before. A slur of words in Spanish cut through the line and Lexi was pretty certain the majority of which were not pleasant. Chyna's voice raised an octave as she insulted him back in Spanish. A smashing sound followed from what Lexi guessed was one of the pieces of priceless china she kept around her room breaking into a million pieces. A second later a door slammed and Chyna returned on to the phone. "Sorry about that. He doesn't speak much English, but he's maddeningly handsome with all that Latin passion. Mmm mmm mmm."

  Lexi giggled at her best friend. "I'm sure he is, knowing you."

  "Now spill everything. You went on a date and then didn't have the decency to discuss all the sordid details with yours truly. I'm just horrified here. Does that mean it went too well and you've been locked in his apartment for two days or did it go so bad you were afraid to talk to me?" she asked waking up at the prospect of sharing dating stories.

  "Neither I suppose. I just had a lot going on, but I had an amazing time if you must know," Lexi offered loving how excited her best friend soundeda.

  "And I must. Tell me everything. Who is he? Where did you find him? What did you do? Where did you go? How good was he in the sack?" she asked adding extra emphasis to the last question. "I can't believe this happens when I'm so far away," she groaned sounding ridiculously sexy for such a disappointing sound.

  Lexi shook her head at Chyna's over-the-top personality. "We had a picnic at a laser show just outside of the city. It concluded with a gorgeous fireworks display that he rearranged with the park specifically for us."

  "Ooh la la," she cooed, "Not candlelit dinners and caviar, but we can work with it," she interjected. "So who is Mystery Man? And please, do give me details!"

  "He's actually…Bekah's brother. His name is Ramsey. Ramsey Bridges," she said cringing as she uttered the words. She bit her lip as she waited for Chyna to erupt on her.

  "Bekah. Jack's Bekah? Hmm…well interesting turn of events, but again we can work with it. What's he look like? Is he sexy?"

  Lexi giggled. "Yeah he kind of is. Tall, really tall with bright green eyes and sandy blonde hair. His body is killer too. David Beckam-esk physique we're talking here."

  "Damn! Sexy and wealthy."

  "Chyna!" Lexi exclaimed scolding her.

  "What?" she asked, pretending to be confused by her friend's outburst.

  "You know what."

  "Don't act like that isn't important. You'll be in law and he has a trust. After hanging out with me chica, how can you live with anything else?" she asked bluntly. Chyna never refrained from discussing how important it was to find someone with similar means when you were dating. This went back to her standards of men's clothing as well as to his taste in alcohol, cars, apartments, and down the list. She approved of very few men for anything past the first date.

  "Yes, well," Lexi said rolling her eyes, "he is supremely wealthy. And God is he good looking Chyna. If you had picked him out in a club, you wouldn't have even given yourself time to get a drink from him before dragging him off to your place."

  "Watch yourself. I might have to come visit my best friend and do just that." Lexi knew that she was only half-joking. What Chyna wanted, she typically acquired. The only things in life she hadn't been able to control were her parent's separation and the fact that her gorgeous designer friend, Frederick, was one hundred percent playing for the other team. He was the only man she had ever met that was too gay to sleep with her and it bothered her every day.

  The delicious aroma emanating from the machine was mouth-watering. Lexi poured two mugs full of the hot brew. Then she leaned back against the counter to finish her conversation and wait for the coffee to cool down. "Well that's kind of the reason I called you. I need you here this weekend," she said forcing her hair behind her ear several times as she waited for Chyna to as the question she was dreading.

  "Before I get onto the subject of why you might need me in Atlanta this weekend, you didn't answer my question. How good is he?" she asked for the third time.

  "I didn't sleep with him," Lexi admitted reluctantly.

  "Oh. So that's why you need me there this weekend," Chyna announced.

  "What? No. I don't need you here to help me get with him. I could have if I'd wanted to, but there are a few uh…issues with that. Like a certain someone," she said sipping on her coffee.

  "Alexa, what have you done?"

  "Oh Chyna," she cried exasperated with herself, "I just need you here. I went to talk to Jack to get everything clear between us, but it didn't work out the way I had planned."

  "Did you sleep with him?" Chyna shrieked into the phone.

  "No. No I didn't."

  "Don't lie to me Alexa Mae."

  "I'm not lying. I didn't sleep with him. I promise Chy. But he wanted to. And we would have, if I hadn't stopped his advances. Now he's saying he wants to be with me for real this time, and I just don't know what to do Chyna. He's what I want. Of course, he is. And he says that he's made his decision, but I just don't want things to backfire in my face," she said, confessing all her fears.

  "Oh baby, you shouldn't be doing this to yourself," Chyna cried maddeningly. "You know he's just going to hurt you. That's what he does. He hurts you. He drags you down."

  "But he doesn't," Lexi eagerly protested. Though, she wasn't quite as certain about that as she let on. "He makes everything right with me. You've only seen the worst of the situation. You only saw what happened in New York. If I can make it right with us, that's what I want. That's what I've always wanted."

  "Shit!" Chyna cursed.

  "What?"

  "I told you not to do that. God, he just completely changes you, doesn't he?" Chyna asked sighing heavily. Lexi could tell that she was starting to get pissed off. She heard Chyna take a few calming breathes before continuing. "You are absolutely right chica. I need to be there. I'll talk to daddy about using the jet. I should arrive in Atlanta in a matter of hours. I'll have a car pick me up at the airport, and then we can talk this all out together. Possibly a shopping spree to get our minds off of what potential disaster you are creating in your life."

  "Chyna, you can't come down here thinking…" Lexi stopped mid-sentence and set her coffee mug down on the counter silently. She thought that she had heard something at the door. She had been pretty sure she had heard something, but she had been so heated in her conversation she had almost missed it. She strained her ears to listen for another potential noise.

  "Thinking what?" Chyna asked snippily.

  "Hold on one second," Lexi said listening more closely this time. Someone was knocking on the door. She jogged down the hallway and pressed her eye to the peep hole. Ramsey's face appeared distorted and warped by the curved glass, but it was definitely him. "Shit!"

  "What?" Chyna cried surprised by Lexi's outburst. "What's going on?"

  Lexi rushed back down the hall her heart leaping to her throat as she panicked. "Ramsey is here."

  "Here where?" Chyna questioned her.

  "Oh shit, shit, shit," Lexi mumbled under her breath pushing her free hand through her messy bed-ridden hair. She smacked her hand against her forehead wondering if her luck could get any worse.

  "Alexa, calm down. Where are you? I thought you were at your parents," she asked trying to get a grasp on the situation.

  "No I'm not. I really have to go," Lexi told her t
hinking about what she would have to do next.

  "Where are you?"

  Lexi sighed heavily hating that she had to admit this to Chyna. "I'm at Jack's place. I'll see you in a few hours chica."

  "Don't hang up…"

  Lexi clicked off the line before Chyna could even finish her statement. She paced in a circle once feeling more and more nervous as the seconds ticked by. The knock on the door forced her spring to action and she rushed down the hallway to Jack's bedroom. She burst through the door in a panic. Jack's head was buried under a mound of pillows when she walked in.

  "You were gone too long. Come lay down," Jack said patting the bed beside him.

  "Ramsey is here!" she cried hopping onto the bed beside him and yanking a pillow off of his head.

  "What?" he asked jumping up like he had been jolted with electricity.

  "Ramsey is at the front door," she repeated. "He's banging on the front door like a freaking maniac. Did you know he was coming over?" she asked frantic brushing her hair away from her face as she looked into his now frightened blue eyes.

  "No, I didn't know. What is he doing here?" he asked brushing his hand through his own hair and cursing under his breath.

  "How the hell should I know? He's at your front door. You have to go great rid of him. He can't see us together. Shit would hit the fucking fan."

  "I know. I know. I'll see what I can do. Shit!" he said hopping off the bed and throwing a t-shirt over his head. "What the fuck is he doing here?"

  "I don't know just get rid of him," she said shoving him towards the door.

  "I'm going. Just stay in the guest bedroom or the bathroom until he leaves. I'll go find out what he's doing here," he said as he jogged down the hallway. "Don't make a peep," he warned."

  Lexi just rolled her eyes. As if she was stupid enough to do that. She walked into the guest bedroom leaving the door slightly ajar. She wanted to be able to hear what they were talking about while still remaining hidden. She leaned her head back against the wall and strained to hear what was going on at the front door.

  "I'm coming," Jack yelled racing down the hallway and unbolting the door. "Ramsey, hey man, what's up?" he asked casually leaning against the doorframe to block his view of inside.