Out Of This World

by Annette Mori

  Sydney sighed. “That’s why I offered up my cabin in the first place. I’m just concerned that we’re not the kind of help she really needs.” Sydney looked directly at me. “I hope you know what you’re doing, Mabs.”

  I looked over at Celeste and noticed for the first time that evening that she appeared a little pale and a bit sickly. I was worried about her. “Celeste, you look a little peaked. Why don’t you take a nap while I help Sydney with dinner?” I looked over at Sydney. “I’m sorry, I don’t want to be presumptuous and I promise I’ll pay you for the food.”

  Sydney just waved her hand at me as if to say don’t sweat it.

  “Thank you. The sun did not shine enough today and my energy reserves are low. I do not know if sleeping will assist in the recharge process, but I know it does not harm me.”

  Celeste shuffled off to the guest bedroom and I got up to show Sydney that I was ready to help.

  Sydney smiled at me. “I think I’m getting the better end of this deal. I know what a good cook you are and, frankly, I’m getting tired of eating out. A home-cooked meal sounds fabulous. When you called, I decided I should get more groceries to stock the cabin before heading back to your house to wait for you. I’m sorry I lied and told you I needed to stay with you, but I was afraid that Hollie would lead Greg to your house before I had a chance to take you to the cabin.”

  I tilted my head and bravely asked, “Why do you stay with her?”

  Sydney shrugged. “I was immensely flattered when she first showed interest in me. I didn’t think I had a chance with the person I really wanted to be with and Hollie was interested and attractive so I just accepted her advances. She isn’t always such a bitch, you know. Sometimes, especially when it’s just the two of us, she can be really sweet and loving. In her own way, I really believe she loves me as much as she can love anyone. We have history and it’s hard to give that up. I’ve never had any incentive before to make a change.”

  “I’m sorry, but I think you can do way better than Hollie.”

  “Mabs, can I ask you something?”

  I nodded and allowed her to change the subject.

  “Why didn’t you ever tell me you were a lesbian? I don’t understand why you would keep that a secret from me. There were days that I suspected, but I figured if you were, you would have told me.”

  “Sydney, you saw maybe one tenth of the shit that people put me through in junior high and high school. I was convinced that if I so much as uttered a word about my preferences, it would get worse and I was barely hanging on. It was self-preservation pure and simple. After college, I just got used to the lie of omission.”

  “Hollie was one of the ring leaders, wasn’t she?”

  I didn’t want to lie to Sydney so I nodded once.

  “I’m so sorry. I should have known. She was so jealous of you and, when Hollie’s jealous, she really acts out.”

  “Jealous of me,” I remarked in astonishment. “What could she possibly be jealous of? I have a low paying job, no one special in my life, and just look at me.” I waved my hands over my body.

  Sydney looked at me. “Mabs, I am looking at you, and I’ve been looking at you for over ten years. Every year you get more beautiful. Sure, you went through an awkward stage in middle school just like we all did, but you seem to be stuck in the nineties and only see yourself as that awkward seventh grader. You’re the whole package. You’re kind and generous, incredibly smart, strong beyond belief, and more humble than anyone I know. Hollie absolutely hates the fact that you don’t need make-up with your flawless complexion. She frets over every single traitorous wrinkle while noting that you have none.”

  I didn’t know how to respond to what Sydney just said. Her generosity embarrassed me. I chalked it up to her personality. Sydney never said an unkind word about anyone and saw beauty in everyone. She was looking at me strangely and I got flustered so I looked away and couldn’t meet her eyes.

  “I’m sorry, I’m making you uncomfortable,” she continued. “Celeste is very beautiful. I can see why you’re drawn to her, even if she has some problems. She sounds so convincing. I can see why it would be easy to believe that she’s telling the truth.”

  It was time to float out the thought that kept hovering at the surface. “Sydney, what if she really is telling the truth?” I held up my hand. “Wait, let me finish. I sensed something was different about her right from the start. When she first told me part of her story, I believed her because it fit with what I felt and saw when she touched me. Don’t you remember that strange purple light that seems to emanate from her hand just before you feel this total calm overtake your body?”

  I risked a quick glance in Sydney’s direction and she didn’t appear to discard what I was saying out of hand.

  I continued. “Also, I could have sworn she talked to me in my mind. I know it sounds crazy, but I distinctly heard her ask me without really asking me out loud if I was frightened of her. Then I swear she whispered that I was beautiful in my head before deciding to call me Bella. The strange thing was I was thinking of that name right before she decided to call me that. I remember thinking about the movie, Twilight, and how I wanted a beautiful name like Bella instead of my crappy name.”

  “I don’t know, Mabs, I’ve heard that some people who have mental illnesses can be quite convincing and you’d never know they were ill. I had this firefighter that I worked with once tell me that when he was visiting his sister, who was doing her medical residency at this mental institution, he struck up a conversation with a woman who convinced him that she was another doctor and a colleague of his sister’s. He learned later that this patient was a master at imitating others.”

  “Can’t we just consider it a remote possibility?”

  “Sure, Mabs, anything for you. I promise to keep that possibility in the back of my mind so that she can pluck it from me when she finishes her nap. Come on, I’m starving and looking forward to whatever masterpiece you intend to put together for dinner.”

  I realized she was joking with me, but I also knew that she would actually do her darndest to keep an open mind for me. Sydney was a true blessing and it was nice to have such a good friend in my corner.

  †

  Sydney pulled a salmon fillet from her refrigerator and I noted that it was not only fresh, but wild caught. I guess it was national salmon shopping day. I would have to remember to ask Sydney to retrieve our whole fish and, unfortunately, we’d have to eat salmon two nights in a row. I spied the fruit bowl and noted there were several oranges and apples. I tossed Sydney a smile. It would be a delight to grill this fish in my garlic orange sauce. I know my mom is biased, but she always told me that my salmon was better than in any five star restaurant. Because of that, she would never order fresh fish when my dad took her out for a nice dinner.

  “Can I just browse around your kitchen and see what else I can find to complement the salmon?” I asked.

  “Absolutely, snoop away, and just tell me what you need me to do. I follow directions really well,” she answered.

  I was lucky enough to find red potatoes and I’d noticed a small garden earlier. I hoped I would be able to find some fresh herbs. Thyme grew like a weed and that would be a perfect addition to both the salmon and the potatoes. I nearly squealed with joy when I found arugula and goat cheese in the fridge and she even had some blueberry infused craisens in her pantry. A gourmet salad was definitely in our future.

  “It won’t take me long to prepare the salmon, but roasted potatoes will probably take at least an hour. I hope you don’t mind having fish two days in a row because I forgot about our purchase at the market today, and was going to ask if you could go to my house tomorrow and get it for us before it rots in my fridge and leaves a smell I’ll never be able to get out. Oh, and do you by any chance have some thyme in your garden?”

  “Yep, sure do. I also have some basil, tarragon, mint, and oregano, but the thyme and mint are the only plants that are really big enough to get a decent harv
est from right now.”

  I got the distinct impression that she was proud of her garden.

  “Can you please pick some thyme for me? And if you have any basil or mint that is ready to cut, we can throw that on the salad,” I directed.

  She saluted me and pushed open the sliding glass door leading to her back yard.

  I heard her cell phone go off and because she left the door slightly ajar, I could hear her end of the conversation. I wasn’t really trying to eavesdrop, but when I heard her voice increase and become decidedly agitated, I admit I scooted over closer to the door to listen.

  “Hello… No, I’m not ready to do that… I don’t know. I have a lot of thinking to do… Don’t, just don’t… Leave Mabs out of this, she is not our problem… Stop it, just stop it right now. I’m not the one that fucked up… I know you do, it’s just… Oh babe, please don’t cry. I’m not trying to hurt you… Okay, tomorrow… Yes, I promise, but it’s only coffee and a talk, I can’t offer anything more at this point… Yeah, me too.”

  I heard Sydney sigh and peeked out the window to see her lean against the glass. She wiped her eyes and walked over to the patch of dirt with the tender green shoots. As she squatted down, I could tell she was crying just a little. I didn’t want her to think I was spying on her, so I left her to her private moment. Maybe I should have gone to her, but if she was anything like me, she wouldn’t want anyone seeing her at a vulnerable moment. I just hoped she wasn’t going to cave and go back to that snake in the grass. I’d never hated anyone before, but I hated Hollie at that moment.

  I had heard all our small town’s rumors. Everyone thought Hollie first started seeing Sydney to rile her dad, but then she discovered she really was bisexual. She kept cheating on Sydney and swearing it was the last time. It never was. I didn’t doubt that she loved Sydney, because who wouldn’t love her, but she definitely did not deserve her.

  Ten minutes later Sydney walked back into the cabin and, although I could tell she’d been crying, she acted like nothing was wrong. She managed to smile at me as she presented her bounty. “All for you m’lady.”

  I couldn’t help myself and blurted out. “Hollie’s a bitch and you deserve so much more. If you were mine, I’d never treat you like that. I’d thank God for every single moment I had you in my life.”

  “Oh Mabs, why couldn’t you have told me you were gay…”

  Celeste interrupted Sydney when she entered the kitchen and looked out the window. The sun was desperately trying to make an appearance and I could see blue skies on the horizon. She would only have maybe another hour or so before sunset, but maybe that would be enough to help.

  “I could feel the Earth’s sun ready to shine upon us this evening. May I step onto the patio to gather some much needed energy?” Celeste asked.

  “Sure. Knock yourself out,” Sydney replied.

  Celeste tilted her head and I guessed that she didn’t understand the phrase, “knock yourself out,” but she didn’t say a word. She still looked pale and unhealthy. I thought even if she was delusional, the power of suggestion might work in her favor like a self-fulfilling prophecy. If she was convinced that she could recharge herself through the sun, then maybe it would work and she would stop looking so ill.

  I wanted to finish my conversation with Sydney because I thought I was missing something important, but the moment was lost. Sydney was looking at me as I was watching Celeste’s every move.

  “Are you in love with her?” Sydney asked.

  I focused back on Sydney. “I care for her. There is something about her that is so compelling to me and it’s not just about how she looks.” I frowned.

  “I know that already. Mabs, you are definitely not a shallow person, unlike the rest of the world that judges people by their outward appearance. She seems nice, a little eccentric maybe, but nice. You’re more confident around her. That’s a good thing. Someone needs to bring out the best in you. I wish…” Sydney’s phone blared and interrupted what she was about to say. “Shit, sorry, I better take this.”

  This time Sydney walked out of the kitchen and took the call in the privacy of her bedroom. I wondered if Hollie was calling. Maybe she did love her, but I didn’t think she respected her.

  As I was preparing dinner, I looked out the window again and saw Celeste with her arms outstretched and her face lifted up to the sky. She was basking in the warmth of the evening now that our elusive sun was making an appearance. She looked so carefree and innocent soaking up the late evening rays, and I thought to myself, this is how a Goddess must look. An artist would take one look at her and want to create a masterpiece with Celeste at the center.

  Sydney interrupted my thoughts as she emerged from her bedroom. “I might go out later tonight. I can get your salmon while I go back into town. Will you be okay here?”

  I knew she was going to meet Hollie and that her resolve was wavering, so I made a final plea. “Don’t do it Sydney. Don’t run back to her. At least give yourself an evening to really think about what you want and what you deserve before meeting for coffee tomorrow.”

  She blinked at me and sighed. “She’s really distraught. I’ve never heard her like this before. I just want to make sure she’s okay.” Her eyes focused on me and it felt like they were boring into me. “Wait, how did you know I was meeting her for coffee? Were you listening in before?” She didn’t sound angry, more like perplexed.

  I looked down at my feet and wouldn’t meet her eyes. “I’m so sorry that I eavesdropped before. It’s none of my business, just ignore everything I said. I don’t know what’s come over me lately. I never would have done anything like that before or butted into your business…it’s just…”

  She narrowed her eyes at me. “Just what, Mabs?”

  I couldn’t believe I was about to confess how I felt about her, but I caught myself just in time. “Nothing. It’s nothing. Uh you go ahead and do what you need to do. I’ll save some dinner for you, unless you want to wait just a bit and have dinner first.”

  Sydney glanced outside, watching Celeste before responding. “Yeah I’ll do that, have dinner first because it smells amazing.” She smiled at me, and this time it reached her eyes.

  †

  Dinner was a smashing success and I was proud of how well everything turned out. Sydney smiled as she listened to Celeste hum her pleasure with the meal. As if by some unspoken pact, we all decided to avoid any reference to Celeste’s belief in her alien heritage.

  It was a nice evening, so we decided to eat outside. It seemed like the sun really was helping Celeste because her rosy glow seemed to return with every minute we spent out in the final light of the day.

  It was nice to receive their sincere admiration for my cooking skills. Celeste hummed while Sydney made satisfying mmm sounds. I shook my head as it wandered to thoughts about what kind of sounds either of them might make if we were making love. It was positively scandalous how I was thinking about both of them.

  Sydney pushed herself from the table. “I better get going so that I can be back in time to deliver dessert. I won’t be long and I’ll bring us back a surprise.”

  “I hope everything goes the way you want it to, but if you need someone to talk to, I’ll be here. All the times you had my back, it’s the least I can do for you.” I looked her straight in the eye. “This time I have your back, Sydney.”

  She chuckled and waved at me as she left the back patio.

  I suppose it was ludicrous. Big strong firefighter Sydney needing mousy little me to have her back, but I meant it. I wanted her to know that no matter what happened I would support her. I was developing a bit of a backbone and I would go toe-to-toe with Hollie if she needed me to.

  “Hollie is not well suited to Sydney. Their energy signatures do not match,” Celeste stated.

  I nodded. “I agree with you, but unfortunately Hollie has some kind of pull on her because she keeps going back no matter what that skank does.”

  “Skank?”

  “Sorry
, it’s a very unkind description of someone.”

  “Can we watch the video box again?” she asked.

  Her quick change of topics was starting to give me whiplash, but I was eager to talk about anything else but Hollie. I led her to the living room and when she was settled into Sydney’s recliner, I showed her how to change the channels on the TV and pull the handle on the recliner so she could relax after dinner. Once she was involved in the TV, I picked up the dishes, brought them inside, started washing them, and got lost in my thoughts.

  I would be sharing the room with Celeste again and I didn’t know how I would get any sleep. My nighttime fantasies were suddenly coming to life and I was experiencing a brand new set of sensations that I wasn’t sure how to handle.

  I’d always told myself that I would wait to have sex with someone I was in love with, but that notion seemed incredibly old fashioned and somewhat unrealistic with each passing hour I spent with Celeste. Besides, maybe I was falling in love with this eccentric woman who, with the right drug cocktail, might be the perfect match for me. It was time to start living rather than existing.

  As I let the warm sudsy water flow over my hands while cleaning the dinner dishes, I decided that if Celeste wanted to try out some of that stuff in my books, I would let her. I might even be brave enough to experiment with a few things I’d read about. I hoped it was as easy as the books described.

  I wiped my hands on the dishtowel and slowly made my way to the living room to join Celeste.

  She was watching some sappy Hallmark movie and seemed so engrossed that it was almost comical. It was like she was memorizing every word, every gesture. She looked up as I entered the room.

  “I am learning about love from this video box,” she stated.

  I laughed. “I don’t think you can really learn about love from the TV. That’s just Hollywood’s version of love. I think you have to experience it first hand before you know what love really is. I also think there are different kinds of love.”