Touchwood

by Karin Kallmaker

  "Her legs are just as impressive," Louisa said. "I've always had a thing for women with great calves."

  Rayann was startled. It was the first time Louisa had said anything of that nature. "They are, aren't they? Too bad she's so willing to give up her independence. She's raising Natalie Wood just fine all by herself."

  "Mmm-hmm." Louisa's voice had a woolly sound and when Rayann glanced over she was not surprised to see Louisa's eyes were closed.

  The minutes ticked by. Louisa didn't stir when the timer chimed. Rayann flicked the T.V. off with the remote and went to check some pies they had put in the oven. The apple mixture was bubbling and everything was a luscious golden brown. They looked almost too good to eat. She put them on the stove burners to cool, then switched the oven off and turned out the light. The kitchen and living room plunged into darkness. Stumbling over the coffee table, she turned the reading lamp on and went to wake Louisa up.

  Louisa's expression was utterly relaxed; her expression lines were laugh lines only. Her pink-silver lips curved slightly in sleep. She looked almost unearthly in the dim light — although the streak of flour across one cheek made her seem more mortal. Rayann hated to disturb her. Leaning over, she gently shook one shoulder, enjoying the warmth and softness.

  "Rayann?" Louisa's eyes fluttered open, unfocused. Then her hands reached up, grasping Rayann's waist. "What are you doing?" The words weren't an invitation, but Louisa's hands gripped Rayann's waist and pulled Rayann down.

  I don't care why. If I don't do this I'll go mad. Rayann stretched out next to Louisa on the sofa, her mouth finding Louisa's, tasting at last the smooth texture. She'd taken Louisa by surprise, but after a moment Louisa gasped, and gripped Rayann harder. Her mouth invited Rayann's exploration.

  "Ray, are you sure?" Louisa whispered when Rayann finally released her mouth.

  "Yes. I... want to."

  Louisa sat up, then cupped Rayann's face. "What about the pies," she murmured.

  Rayann laughed, and Louisa's finger traced her mouth. "I took them out. They're perfect," she said more quietly. Her heart hammered against her ribs.

  "Good." Louisa's mouth captured Rayann's, and Rayann melted, twisted. Louisa was over her, her deliberate mouth moving from lips to forehead to chin and returning to Rayann's mouth, tasting deeply, then brushing with the softest press of lips. One hand unbuttoned Rayann's shirt, then the strong fingers slid inside. Rayann shuddered and reached for Louisa, wanting to feel her skin gliding under her fingertips.

  Louisa caught Rayann's hand in her own, and held it down with gentle pressure. "Let me do this," Louisa said in her low voice. Her fingers claimed the tender flesh of Rayann's stomach, then slid upward, around to her back, dexterously unhooking Rayann's bra. Her lips came to Rayann's again as her hand moved under the bra, around Rayann's ribs and cupped the softness she had freed.

  Rayann moaned through Louisa's kiss. She is so sure — how does she know? She felt the cool air on her newly bared breasts. They were swollen and aching, the chill tightening her already aroused nipples. Louisa's mouth left her lips and Rayann shuddered when her cold breast was covered with the warm softness of Louisa's lips.

  Louisa teased Rayann's nipple with her tongue and teeth. Rayann didn't realize her hips were arching up to Louisa until Louisa slipped one leg between Rayann's. Rayann rose to Louisa's thigh, aching for the feel of Louisa's skin against her own.

  Louisa drew Rayann up long enough to remove Rayann's clothing from the waist up, leaving Rayann acutely aware of her own nakedness. Louisa turned her attention to Rayann's other breast and the buttons of her workshirt pressed into Rayann's bare stomach.

  Rayann moved frantically against Louisa's thigh. She had never made love this way — never. With Michelle there had been long preliminaries, mutual rituals of foreplay that made them both ready for touching and stroking. They had undressed each other; undressing had been part of the ritual.

  "Lou... oh." I can't come this way. I can't... But she did, arching up, grabbing Louisa, pulling her down as she spasmed, her nails digging into Louisa's back until her hips slowed. But even when the storm had passed, she continued to move against Louisa.

  Louisa tenderly kissed Rayann's mouth, then asked, "Did you come?"

  "Yes," Rayann gasped. "I didn't think I could, not like that."

  Louisa pulled Rayann to her feet and guided her to the door of her bedroom. "Are you sure?"

  "Yes. Yes."

  Louisa pulled the bedclothes to the foot of the bed with one hand and drew Rayann down with the other. They shed their shoes and socks in a flurry of squirming, then Louisa was on top of Rayann again, her mouth seeking the taut points of Rayann's breasts again, hardened further by the cool sheet under Rayann's back.

  Rayann ran her fingers through the black-silver hair. The black was coarse and thick, the silver silky and soft. She buried her face in the contrast, then held on to Louisa as she felt the buttons of her jeans opening. Those fingers — so sure, so strong — slid downward, inward, then cupped while Rayann gasped.

  Louisa moved against Rayann, the friction of her clothes against Rayann's bare skin bringing new heat between them. "Tell me what you like," Louisa said. Her hand was lazy and teasing between Rayann's legs.

  "Let me get my jeans off," Rayann said. "So I can... so you can..." So you can take me, so I can open up for you. She had never longed for a woman's fingers to be inside her, not like this, not so much that she knew she was overflowing with proof.

  She feels so good against me. Rayann twined her bare legs around Louisa's. The denim Louisa wore was sensuous against her hips, against her inner thighs. Then Louisa's fingers found her and Rayann showed Louisa what she wanted, rising, stretching, spreading herself on Louisa's fingers, shamelessly driving toward her own release.

  "Like this?" Louisa spoke into Rayann's ear as she traced it with her tongue.

  "Yes." Rayann struggled for breath. "Don't... don't stop."

  "Never."

  This can't be happening. But it is, it is. She's loving you, like this, giving you what you've wanted, what you've dreamed about almost since the day you met.

  The first cry broke from Rayann and was caught by Louisa's mouth. The next flowed between them as Louisa kissed her deeply, straining against Rayann as Rayann froze, then collapsed, moaning at the loss she felt when Louisa's fingers slid away.

  Louisa's wet hand came to Rayann's breasts, painted the wetness over them. Then Louisa's mouth tasted them again, and Rayann felt herself opening again, wanting again.

  "Louisa, Louisa please," she begged. "Take off your clothes. I want to feel you against me." Rayann shuddered when Louisa's body moved away, and shuddered again when Louisa returned, soft, warm skin against her own.

  She palmed the smooth planes of Louisa's back as Louisa straddled her waist, hair tickling Rayann's breasts, then lay fully atop her, knees falling between Rayann's. When Louisa rose again, she was kneeling between Rayann's legs. Her kisses marked Rayann's shoulders, then her stomach.

  "Do you like this, too?" Louisa's mouth moved lower. Her lips nuzzled above Rayann's dark triangle of hair.

  "Yes." Rayann felt the cold claim her uncovered body, but her nerves devoted all attention to the hot spot, the inflamed center of passion, ignited by Louisa's seeking and teasing tongue.

  The most incredible... Rayann covered her breasts with her hands, shaking as Louisa's mouth captured all of her, tongue diving and swirling, then teasing again. She gave herself over, took every sensation Louisa offered her, one building on the last until passion flared, then melted to sweetness.

  Rayann closed her eyes to better concentrate on breathing. When she opened them again, she felt erotic wetness on her thigh, then she raised her thigh, giving it to Louisa, who moaned as she moved. Gathering courage, Rayann slid her hand down, her fingers curling, brushing against Louisa, becoming coated with Louisa's passion.

  Louisa froze, then groaned. "Yes." Her hips moved faster, enclosing Rayann's fingers, then shudd
ering and jerking as she cried out. "Ray," she murmured, falling to the bed and gathering Rayann in her arms. "Thank you."

  "My pleasure," Rayann murmured. "It's all been my pleasure." She kissed Louisa, then sat up to pull the covers over them. Louisa's arms were waiting when she stretched out again, and kisses consumed her mouth. Louisa's hand moved between her legs. "I don't think I can again," Rayann said, her voice raspy.

  "Try," Louisa said. "Try."

  7

  Uncured

  Rayann floated at the very edge of deciding to wake up. Over a period of several minutes she opened her eyes slightly. The light of day was harsh, but she persisted despite her body telling her to sink back into sleep. Christmas morning — J feel as if I've opened all my presents already. She could hear Louisa moving around in the kitchen, probably making a special tart for Tucker. Rayann wanted to call out to Louisa and ask her to come back to bed, but she was too satiated to exert herself yet. Better to lounge in bed for just a few more minutes.

  It was not just any bed. Rayann had seen it when she'd done household chores, but she hadn't dared to study it before. Canopies weren't that rare, but the heavily carved posts were authentic Grecian design in what looked like fired olive wood — that was rare. Instead of lightweight netting or a swatch of decorative fabric, the posts supported a heavy tapestry with a medieval motif. She lay back, breathing in the scent of Louisa and the passion they had shared, and looked up at the scene above her.

  A golden sun and silver moon occupied the top and bottom of the working, and in between, white symbols of the zodiac were arranged in a circle. Emerald-green runes were scattered against the royal purple background and Rayann wished she had paid more attention to Judy's hobby of mysticism during college. The borders were intricate golden leaves and red roses twined to form a briar. Overall, now that Rayann had had a chance to look at every part, it wasn't that medieval — the work itself was probably less than a hundred years old, but the design seemed of a far greater antiquity. It was beautiful, but somehow not what she would have expected Louisa to have above her bed. Still, in the dim natural light, the moon seemed to glow on its own accord. Rayann found it romantic, as romantic as her memories of last night. She had been right. Going to bed with Louisa had cured her of her infatuation. Her body was warm and replete. She wanted nothing more.

  "Merry Christmas. Going to sleep all day?" Louisa, already dressed in faded jeans and an embroidered blue workshirt, appeared in the doorway.

  "Merry Christmas. If I do it's because I'm exhausted. You're a real... taskmaster," Rayann said. She sat up.

  Louisa smiled somewhat nervously, running one hand through the silver-black masses of hair that had not yet been lifted away from her shoulders with combs. The stove timer dinged in the awkward silence and Louisa hurriedly went to the kitchen, leaving Rayann clutching the sheets to her chest.

  Breathe in. For God’s sake, breathe in! When her lungs finally obeyed, the light-headed feeling didn't go away. Actually, Rayann felt light-bodied, as if she could float. Her senses were fluttering — her stomach was nothing but butterfly wings tickling and teasing her heart.

  If only I hadn't seen her hand. But she couldn't go through life asking potential lovers to hide their hands. She was cured of her infatuation for Louisa, to be sure. In its place she had come down with a four-letter word and the prognosis was terminal.

  Goddamnit, I'm in love. Rayann groaned and threw herself back into the pillows. This could not be happening. A physical attraction for an older woman was one thing, but love — what could Rayann be thinking of? They enjoyed each other's company, but they had nothing else in common. So they liked books and baseball, but so did lots of people. Last night was just — it had to be just one of those mutual attraction things. Not love at all, but lust. That was it, lust.

  The aroma of baked apple filled the bedroom, bringing too many memories of the previous night. Rayann, unable to consider being naked in front of Louisa again, found Louisa's robe, and went to her room. Heat flamed through her body when she saw her shirt and bra, abandoned last night in the living room, folded neatly on the bed. She stuffed them in the hamper, then quickly showered and dressed. As Rayann emerged from her bedroom, Louisa was adding two more slices of French toast to the stack waiting on the table. Rayann slid into her chair at the table. "I'm starved." What an inane thing to say.

  "Ummm," Louisa said. "So am I. Must be the exercise."

  Rayann put her fork down. "Louisa," she began slowly. "I… don't know what to say." That's it — Bette Davis has just chosen someone else to be her fairy goddaughter.

  "Believe it or not, neither do I."

  "I'm not sure why last night happened." Liar. Well, she had no idea why Louisa did it.

  "Neither am I, but Ray, I've been thinking since I got up. Just because it happened doesn't mean we can't go on as before, does it? I'm sorry…"

  "Please don't be. It was just fan…"

  "You don't have to treat me with kid gloves. It just happened, and you should probably put it behind you. I mean we," Louisa said. "You have good friends and a life…"

  "And so do you." Danny. Oh, my God. I made her be unfaithful to Danny. Deep down was the thought that she hadn't made Louisa do anything — it had been the other way around.

  "Yes, but that's not important. I want you to know..." Louisa studied her plate. Rayann was glad Louisa's penetrating eyes were not focused on her. "I want you to know you don't... you're not obligated. To me."

  Obligated? "I don't feel obligated." I just feel like I want to do it again. And again.

  Louisa glanced up at her and Rayann felt the pierce of her gaze, then Louisa was staring at her plate again. "I'm glad. Look, I think it was just something we both needed."

  "I understand," Rayann said. And she did. No strings, no ties, no repeats. In many ways, it resembled the offer Zoraida had made her. It had seemed an easy bargain with Zoraida — an equal contract, somehow. But this situation with Louisa wasn't easy. Nor did it feel equal. "Really, I do." She picked up her plate and carried it to the sink. "The pies look wonderful." She heard Louisa's sigh — relief, no doubt — behind her.

  "Yes. Yes, they do."

  There was a thundering series of bangs on the back door. A muffled voice called, "Hey, open up. Merry Christmas and all that but I'm freezing my butt off."

  Danny. Rayann busied herself with the breakfast dishes and had both arms in suds when Danny came in through the back porch, laden with packages. She kept herself busy with the steaming water, hoping it would justify her flushed cheeks. Danny, I'm sorry. She would not for the world wish that last night hadn't happened. But it could not happen again.

  She was aware that Louisa and Danny were speaking in low voices, but when she stole a glance at them, Danny did not seem perturbed. When Danny put her arm around Louisa and hugged her, Rayann averted her eyes and scrubbed unmercifully at the already clean skillet. As she put the last dried dish away, Danny called, "Hey, Ray, don't spend Christmas on chores. Come join us."

  Rayann sat in the rocker, and was mystified when Danny handed her a small wrapped box. "Danny… I didn't get you anything! You shouldn't have," Rayann protested, deeply embarrassed. She'd only met Danny once and after last night, it was too much.

  "It's nothing, really. I love Christmas, I love giving presents," Danny said. She leaned forward, elbow set to one knee. Her gold-brown eyes held nothing but friendship as she regarded Rayann. "And you've been a godsend to Lou."

  I can't believe I'm in this situation, wondering if she knows. Rayann looked at Louisa. Louisa seemed her usual self. Rayann opened the box nervously. Two simple pearl stud earrings glinted at her.

  "Oh," Rayann breathed in. They were genuine — the pearls had an uneven pale pink sheen and lacked the pristine perfection of imitation pearls. "Danny, I can't accept these. You really shouldn't…"

  "It's my pleasure," Danny broke in. "Besides, these are the Danielle earrings. Show them to Lou."

  Rayann handed the jew
eler's box to Louisa, who laughed when she saw them. Rayann looked back at Danny; she had missed the point somewhere.

  "You are indeed honored," Louisa said, handing the box back. "Not everyone has received a pair of Danielle earrings. I myself have only two pairs."

  "I don't get it," Rayann said.

  Danny laughed. "Every year my brother gives me a pair of pierced earrings for my birthday. He addresses them to 'Danielle with love.' I must have told him a hundred times I don't wear earrings and I really prefer to be called Danny. So every year at Christmas I give them to a new friend who'd appreciate them." Her voice became gruff. "Makes me be sure I have at least one new friend each year."

  "What was it last year… oh, sapphires," Louisa said. "And the year before it was diamond chips. You have to admit he's got taste."

  Danny shrugged. "He has money. I haven't seen him in years and I guess it's sweet that he thinks of me. But if he saw me he'd look at me just the way he did when I told him I was a dyke, like I was part insect." Danny ran her hand through her short gray hair. "Hell, I just send a card for his birthday."

  Rayann managed a smile. "Well, thank you. I am honored." I guess I'm honored. But the earrings only underlined how long Louisa and Danny had known each other, and just how briefly Rayann had known Louisa.

  Danny handed a small envelope to Louisa. "I've been waiting about four months to give you this," she said.

  Louisa opened it quickly and drew out a ticket. She gasped. "Is this opening day? Section one-twenty-one, row four — right over the dugout! Thank you!" Louisa threw her arms around Danny and hugged her.

  "I kept the other one for myself, of course," Danny said, returning Louisa's hug.

  Louisa released Danny and handed the ticket to Rayann to examine. An opening day ticket for the A's, prime seats no less. "You must know somebody," Rayann said to Danny.

  "I'll never tell, but I didn't exactly pay the price on the ticket."

  "Well, this seems like the time," Louisa said. She rose gracefully and disappeared into her room. Rayann was only too aware that she could not watch Louisa move. She wondered if the rumpled bedclothes would remind Louisa of the night before. But Louisa looked as serene as usual when she reappeared, two packages in hand. Rayann realized one was for her and she jumped to her feet and hurried into her room. Louisa's gift was not finished, but near enough.