Tell Me No Secrets

by Michelle-Nikki

  “I’m sorry Aric,” she yelled as she swung her fists wildly and used her feet as a defense mechanism to get away from me.

  I snatched her legs to bring her back to me, used her throat to pick her up from the floor, and slammed her against the wall again. Only this time, I didn’t release her. The tip of her toes scraped the floor and her eyes watered as her nails dug into my hands and wrist. After that defense didn’t work, she went for my face. She slapped, punched, and tried to scratch her way out of the hold I had on her neck.

  I slammed her head into the wall. “How many times have I asked you to stop putting your hands on me?” I asked as I yelled in her face. Spittle from my mouth landed on her face in a flurry as I slammed her head into the wall again and again. “Stop fucking putting your hands on me!”

  “I’m sorry.... I’m sorry.... I can’t breathe... Aric . . . I can’t . . .”

  Before she passed out I let her limp body fall to the floor. I caught myself just in time. I’d told her ass over and over to stop putting her hands on me. Why she couldn’t adhere to that, I didn’t know. I left her there, on the floor in fetal position, clutching her neck, and crying.

  By the time I’d made it to Chyanne’s house, it was after Gabe and I had downed a few shots of Trago Tequila and a few shots of Don Julio too. Gabe had a few warning shots for me after I told him what had happened between me and Stephanie. I expected him too. He’s her brother, even though she treated him like he wasn’t shit, he still had her back to a certain extent. I was tipsy enough to let him do it and get away with it. Had too much shit on my mind. Like what I had done to my wife. I was so pissed that I’d gotten a ticket for doing ninety in a fifty-five-miles-per-hour zone. Stephanie had pissed me off that badly; so pissed that I sat in my garage and beat the hell out of my steering wheel for a good minute or two because of what I had done to her. I wished like hell she wouldn’t make me put my hands on her. I didn’t want to but she insisted on pushing me to my limit! I could only take so much and no matter how many times I had told her that, she still didn’t get it.

  As I sat in Chyanne’s driveway and thought, something akin to heartache overtook me. For so many years I’d tried to cope with the physical altercations Stephanie and I had and each time they’d left me with a void in my heart. It was thirty minutes after midnight and I realized I had been sitting there a while when Chyanne opened her door and called my name. She shielded her eyes and yelled something at me. I couldn’t hear her because of the rain pouring down. When noticing I couldn’t hear her she closed the front door and went back inside.

  I sat there and thought about how every time something like me having to physically put my hands on Stephanie happened, it always took me a while to get my thought process back on point. So many issues in our marriage that we’d never dealt with were now coming back to the surface. For a while living in the house together back in New York felt as if we were living in a war zone. She’d cheat. I’d get mad. We would fight, have sex, and make up. I’d cheat. She’d get mad, confront the woman. We’d fight, have sex, and make up. I was to the point in my life where I just wanted peace. I’d gotten tired of the same dance and I hated like hell that I’d given her the impression that we could once again work it out. That’s why I’d gone back to New York over the holidays. I just needed to see if she was where I wanted to be. I needed to know that it was over. So one last time I tried and one last time I got the answer that I wanted. It was over.

  Chyanne knocked on my window and jarred me back to reality. I realized she was standing outside in the rain with a light jacket, some cotton shorts, tennis shoes, and a big black umbrella.

  Wondering how long she’d been standing there I let the window down and asked, “Why are you out here in the rain?”

  “Because you’ve been sitting out here with your headlights shining through the front of my house for about thirty minutes.”

  “Go in the house. I’ll be in. Give me a minute.”

  I could tell she had been asleep. Her voice was soft and sweet while her eyes carried a blushful ambiance. They lured me in as I stared at her intently for a while.

  She blushed under my observation before asking, “Are you coming in or are you just going to sit here?”

  “Go in the house,” I said a bit harsher than I intended to. She looked perplexed because of my tone but slowly turned away and made her way back inside.

  About ten minutes later, I raced to her front door as the rain drenched me. It was coming down hard and felt as if each pelt was trying to break skin. Since I didn’t want to walk wet across her snow white carpet, I took my shoes and clothes off at her door. I had no idea she had been standing there watching me as I looked up at her and she held her hand out for my wet clothes. I handed them to her.

  “I laid a T-shirt and a pair of PJ’s on the bed. You left them here before. I washed them.”

  She stood there and stared at me for a while. Looking at my face, probably drawing assumptions about what’d happened.

  “I’ll wash these and dry them for you,” she said after a while tucking my clothes underneath her right arm.

  Turning, she went toward her laundry room. Her wife beater was a little wet from standing in the rain and her cotton shorts hung to her back side giving me a good view of the jiggle it gave as she walked. I made my way to the bathroom in her bedroom and hopped into the shower, needing the hot water and steam to take my mood and my temper down a level. Once I was done with that, I walked into her bedroom and found the clothes she had laid out for me. I could smell her cooking something and my stomach immediately reminded me that I hadn’t eaten in a couple of hours.

  By the time I walked into the kitchen she was sauté-ing some seasoned chicken breast in olive oil. In the light she got a better look at my face and gasped. I didn’t even bother to look in the mirror before I got in the shower and didn’t bother to look after the water had burned my face, chest, and the back of my neck. She pulled a plate from the microwave as I sat down at the table. The silence around us spoke loudly, but I felt at peace being with her as she set a chicken sandwich and a plate of wild rice in front of me with the sliced tomatoes, pickles, lettuce, and condiments on the side. I ate it in silence while she finished cooking the last piece of chicken. I watched as she wrapped it and placed the plate in the microwave.

  “I’ll fix you another sandwich if you’re still hungry after you finish,” she said as she placed a cold glass of ice tea in front of me and sat down at the table with me. “Aric?” She called to me.

  I looked over at her and finished chewing my food before answering. “What?”

  “You get into a fight?”

  Her question would have annoyed me if the look of genuine concern that covered her face didn’t touch me.

  “You can say that,” I answered before putting a spoonful of rice in my mouth not wanting to divulge the details.

  “Was it a cat that got a hold of you?” She asked playfully as she raised her eyebrows and smirked.

  Although I didn’t want to, I gave a little smirk of my own. “You can say that too.”

  There was silence again before she said, “I just wanted to make you smile. You seemed to be out of it. I don’t think I like to see you look that way.”

  I squinted my eyes to look at her because I didn’t have my glasses on and my eyes were stressed. She was indeed a beautiful young woman and I’d found myself intrigued by her the first moment I’d laid eyes on her. An innocent baby face surrounded by high cheek bones set off by big beautiful doe like eyes and she was thick. Plus sized is what America called her. I called it thickness. She was thick in all of the right places. Maybe that’s why it was so hard to get her out my system. Maybe that’s why I didn’t want to get her out of my system.

  “Don’t worry about me. I’m fine. Are you ready for tomorrow?” I asked her.

  “As ready as I’ll ever be. I’m a little nervous... scared. My doctor says this could cause a lot of stress to me and the baby.”

&n
bsp; I finished the last little bit of the rice and sandwich before wiping my mouth with the paper towel. “I need to know. I know this will be a risk, but I have to know if it’s my baby you’re carrying.”

  She didn’t say anything as she stood, and took the used dishes to the kitchen. She washed them and placed them in the dishwasher before walking to her front room and plopping down on her sofa. Picking up the remote she turned the TV on.

  “I talked to Stephanie,” I told her.

  “Did she tell you what happened?”

  “Some of it,” I nodded as I stood and walked to stand in front of her. She sat looking up at me from the sofa with the remote in her hand. “Yeah. . . . Who was it that you were at lunch with today?”

  My eyes raked her over and then I looked directly into her eyes. Looking into her eyes gave me a sense of power because of the way she cowered under my gaze. I could tell she was thinking about whether or not she should lie to me before she answered. Her lying to me had never been in her best interest. I stood wide legged with my arms folded across my chest, scratching my chin watching as she put the TV on mute and placed the remote on the table.

  “I . . . It was Jamie.”

  She cringed when I moved one of my arms to wipe one hand down my face. I frowned and asked, “What are you jumping for?”

  She shrugged and I could see her visibly relax after a while. The look on her face told me she thought I was about to hit her. Seeing that look on her face took my anger over her being with Jamie down a level.

  “Any particular reason you were with Jamie?” I asked her.

  “Figured I should let him know that it was a very small possibility that he could be the father of this child.”

  I raised my eyebrows and titled my head to look at her. “Thought you were sure it was mine.”

  “I am, but . . . I’m just saying. If by chance that it isn’t, he’s the only other man . . .”

  She stopped talking when she realized that I wasn’t too keen on what I was hearing.

  “I’m sure the baby is yours Aric. I just want to cover all of my bases.”

  The look she was giving me showed nervousness as well as guilt. I didn’t say anything else about it and took her for her word as I let it go. Issues with my marriage were still clogging my mind.

  “I stopped by to make sure you were okay with everything tomorrow,” I said after a moment.

  She exhaled. “Like I said I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.”

  I was about to try to say something to calm her spirits, but my phone rang reminding me that I’d left it on the table by the door. It was Stephanie and I knew she wasn’t going to stop calling until I answered, which I wasn’t planning on doing anytime soon.

  “Want me to get that for you?” Chyanne asked noticing I wasn’t going to move from the spot I was in.

  “No. Let it ring.”

  The rain was coming down hard and the wind was making the trees in Chyanne’s front yard whip against her window panes. Once my phone stopped ringing Chyanne’s home phone started. She quickly went to retrieve it and held it out to me as it continued to ring in her hand.

  “It’s your wife,” she spat out. “How did she get my number?”

  I ignored her outstretched hand. “More than likely from my phone. Let it ring,” I told her again.

  We both listened as her voicemail picked up and a few seconds later Stephanie’s voice came through.

  “I know he’s there and I know you both hear the phone ringing. Tell him to pick up his phone!”

  Stephanie’s voice sounded high-pitched and discombobulated as I stood in the middle of the floor and listened to her. I could hear the hurt through the anger in her voice and whereas at one time that would have bothered me, but after what had happened earlier, I had no idea the feelings I still had for her. I’d said earlier that I didn’t know who started cheating first, but it was all coming back to me now. She’d hurt me that first time, humiliated me because the man she was cheating with had been in my house on several occasions. She’d made me feel like a fool and all of the hurt and anger I’d pushed to the back of my mind was starting to resurface.

  So when Chyanne finally picked up her phone and looked at me before answering, “He’s not here.” I didn’t say a word.

  “Don’t lie for him you stupid cunt!” Stephanie yelled. Because Chyanne’s answering machine had come on already I could still hear Stephanie loud and clear. “Put him on the phone,” Stephanie demanded.

  “I told you he wasn’t here,” Chyanne calmly lied again.

  “You’re a stupid bitch. You know that? What? Do you think you’re special or something because he has enough power over you to make you lie for him? As soon as he finishes sticking his dick inside of you he’s going to come right home and do the same thing to me. So he’s fucking you, and I’m fucking him . . . stupid ass . . . I know he’s there Chyanne! Put him on the phone you fat ass whore!”

  Chyanne held the phone out to me. I took it from her hand and hung it up. Stephanie called back three or four times and left nasty messages on her phone each time. After a while she turned her ringer off. She didn’t say anything else to me as she turned and walked into her bedroom. I didn’t feel like going home and since I knew that Chyanne was adamant about not having sex with me anymore, I laid in her front room on the sofa for a while. I couldn’t sleep because I had too many things going on in my head. Mix that with the hard rain falling down and there was me, restless.

  My body was talking to me. Dick was throbbing, aching. I could hear Chyanne moving around in her room wishing I could go in there and have sex with her like it was my last time seeing her. Images of me slamming Stephanie’s head into the wall kept flashing across my mind like lightning across the sky. I hadn’t meant to go that far, but she kept pushing me. Times like then were when I wished I could call my father and talk with him, but anytime I called him my mother would want to talk to me. I was never too keen on speaking with her unless I absolutely had to.

  Looking at the time, I decided it was time for me to be headed home. Although I wasn’t quite sure the weather would permit it, I would try anyway. Knowing that Stephanie would be up when I got in was another tempting reason to stay right where I was. Judging by how many times she had called my phone, I knew she was still awake and I was betting she would be the first thing I saw when I walked in the door. After putting my clothes and shoes on, I knocked on Chyanne’s bedroom door to let her know I was leaving. When I didn’t get an answer I opened the door and saw that she was in her bathroom. I could see the light peeking from under the bathroom door and the shadows of her feet moving around. Opening the door she walked out just as I was about to yell that I was leaving.

  She looked over at me through hooded eye lids. “I’m about to leave,” I said.

  She looked at the window and back to me before closing the bathroom door and moving so that I could fully see her body. She only had on the cotton shorts and her full breasts jiggled a bit before she moved her hand to cover herself from me. I could see that she’d forgotten she was top naked.

  “Are you sure you want to go out there in this?” She asked. “You’re free to sleep on the couch if you would like.”

  “No, but I have to be at the office in about three hours. It’s two-thirty. If I leave now I can at least try to get a nap in before I have to get up.”

  She looked me up and down before crawling back into bed. Her ample ass in the air made my dick stir around in my pants at the thought of being behind her with a handful of her ass in my hand. When she had gotten comfortable and pulled the sheet to cover her she spoke up.

  “Be safe. Will I hear from you tomorrow?”

  “Of course you will. Call me when you’re about to go in and when you leave out. I’ve already had my mouth swabbed earlier today so it’s all on you now.”

  I watched her yawn and nod. “Lock the door. You still have the keys.”

  “Talk to you tomorrow,” I told her.

  I kept seein
g her breasts jiggle in my head and wanted to give them a firm squeeze, wanted to do the same to her ass. I was yearning to be between her thighs right then. As I walked to the front door all I could think about was how her pussy hugged me when I was inside of her and how good that shit felt. Damn! I opened the door and quickly closed it back. No way in hell I would be able to leave without finding my way inside of her. I threw my keys, wallet, and watch on her sofa, kicked my shoes off and started to make my way back to her room.

  “Aric,” she called out.

  I could hear her getting up and when she rounded the corner and saw me coming toward her, the look on her face said it all. She didn’t try to hide her beautiful breasts from me this time. Her nipples called out to me as my hands immediately reached out to touch them, rubbing the pad of my thumb over each of her nipples. She hissed and moaned low in her throat. I closed the gap between us and brought her lips to mine. We both melted into one another. I could tell by the way she pulled my shirt over my head that there would be no stopping tonight. Picking her up, she wrapped her thighs tightly around me as I carried her to the bed and laid her down. For a second or two I just looked at her as she looked up at me. I didn’t even know where I wanted to start kissing her body.

  Quickly stepping out of my pants and boxer briefs, I kneeled before her deciding that I wanted to start with her beautiful thick chocolate thighs. I easily slid her short shorts off. Chyanne’s body excited me like no other woman I had ever been with and as soon as my lips touched her inner thigh, she arched and moaned. I loved her instant reaction to me. I licked and kissed all the way up to those creases in between her legs, licking and kissing around the slick piece of flesh that was calling out to me, as she arched and tried to put my mouth where she longed for it to be.

  My dick thumped at her sounds, dancing to the tune of Chyanne as I kissed up and down her inner thighs, giving her a little tease of nibbles and kisses before I went to put my lips and tongue where I really wanted them to be. The rain drowned out her whimpers of pleasure creating a sensual atmosphere around us as I kissed a trail up her thighs until I reached her center. She was so wet I could smell it. Her scent ignited more fire within me. Smelled like the freshest earthiest musky scent. I was thinking that I was going to tease her a little more, but before I could help myself, I closed my mouth around her slick mound and rubbed my face in her juices. The more she arched and moaned, the more she brought her essence into my mouth. I’d missed that shit, missed her sweet taste and missed the way her body reacted to me, missed her syrupy sweetness racing down the back of my throat.